Even though we speak like this, dear friends, we are convinced of better things in your case—the things that have to do with salvation~ Hebrew 6:9
Monday night I tuned into the news just in time to see a rather spirited interview with a woman who wants to have tax incentives for traditional (two parent) families eliminated from the U.S. tax code. This woman is convinced that tax incentives that encourage couples to marry before they have children are fundamentally unfair to “other kinds of families”.
The man interviewing her (a somewhat conservative guy) appeared to be more than a bit perplexed by her logic (or lack thereof). He attempted to explain to her several times that those incentives were intentionally placed within the tax code to promote two parent families as anti-poverty and pro-family measures.
After she snubbed his pointed attempts at dragging reason into the conversation, the interview devolved into a verbal cage match. He was on one side attempting to goad her into admitting out loud that some family structures are better than others, and should therefore be encouraged. She firmly stood her ground proclaiming repeatedly and vehemently that the current tax code is “unfair to other kinds of families”.
The exchange (as fascinating as it was) left me feeling discouraged and peeved. My irritation was not simply due to the fact that the woman being interviewed appeared to be a clueless nitwit.
It was the bigger picture that bothered me and it’s still bothering me. In one sense, the woman has a valid point. It is clearly unfair for the tax code to promote and encourage certain kinds of families over other kinds of families. If fairness is always the end-all-be-all objective of everything, then tax incentives for those who are married with kids and not those who are single with kids is unfair and the practice ought to be stopped.
Is fairness always the objective in every situation? Should fairness be the objective in this situation?
I say “no” and “no”.
There are bigger issues at play here than fairness. Those issues include (but are not limited to) the overall health of our society, which is demonstrably benefitted in a multitude of ways when people get married before they have kids and stay married afterward.
But that whole thing was really nothing more than a side issue in my mind. The bigger picture that left me feeling peeved was the reality that we have devolved to a place where it is no longer tolerable to say that some things are better than others. Even when the facts clearly demonstrate that some things really are better than others.
It’s not okay to say it’s better for kids to be raised in a two-parent home than by a single mom. It’s not okay to say that a committed marriage is better than hooking-up. It’s not okay to say that marriage is better than divorce. It’s not okay to say it’s better to help people (especially children) embrace the gender they were assigned at conception rather than help them to physically transform into a gender they can never really become from a genetic standpoint. It’s not okay to say that a religion that promotes peace and love is better than one that does not.
Even some Christians have bought into this silly drivel. We have become so convinced that God does a happy dance every time He sees us (no matter what we’ve been up to) that it is no longer okay to say that God unquestionably believes some things are better than other things. It’s not okay to say that going to church on Sunday mornings is better than going to brunch on Sunday mornings. It’s not okay to say that going to a Bible Study is better than going to a bar for a couple of drinks. It’s not okay to say that having sex in marriage is better than having sex outside of marriage.
It’s not okay to say much of anything anymore (even in the church) unless, of course, our words are unswervingly positive and affirming.
Insert eye roll here.
The Bible makes it clear that some choices are better than others not because the people involved are better people, but rather because the choices have demonstrably better outcomes (Proverbs 16:8, Proverbs 28:6, Matthew 5:29, Mark 9:42, Romans 14:21, 1st Peter 3:17).
Until we grasp that fact, we really are in trouble.