Lord, who may reside in Your tent? Who may settle on Your holy hill? One who walks with integrity, practices righteousness, And speaks truth in his heart- Psalm 15:1-2 NASB
This morning I had a long, passionate conversation with the God of the Universe concerning a subject that’s been vexing me in all sorts of different ways (Ephesians 6:18). This discussion was mostly just me railing against everything I don’t like about my current situation.
For the record, I know that the emotional and spiritual place I found myself this morning is not a good place. I do not advise anyone to “go there” (more on this later). It is not a place I go very often anymore. When I was a younger woman, I could get to this place rather quickly and frequently. Thankfully, it is no longer a short trip to that place.
The place I am talking about is this weird mental space where I get so negative about a situation or a person all I can do is make a case against the person or situation in my own mind. Once I let myself “go there” I have a hard time seeing any good at all in the person or situation. This is not something that happens overnight. It takes time and there is almost always a great deal of context surrounding the situation.
As I wrestled through my less than Christ-like feelings I prayed something without really thinking it through. I said: “God, I give you permission to change my mind on this subject”. Then I immediately thought to myself; “self, this is the God of the Universe. He does not need your permission to do anything.”
The case was closed in my mind.
Then (and this is the weird part) out of nowhere the Holy Spirit informed me (not in a gentle way) that God really does need my permission to change my mind because I have free will (Galatians 5:17, Galatians 6:8). This means I can do whatever I want (1st Corinthians 10:23). I can be wrong if I want to be wrong. I can wallow around in unrestrained negativity if I want to. I can think the worst of people. I can act like a jerk. In the process, I can mess up a lot of stuff for myself and others. I can hurt people. I can blowup relationships I care deeply about. In the process of all that I can make it whole lot more difficult for the Holy Spirit to work in the lives of others.
I don’t want to do that (Mark 14:38, Romans 8:5). No one who loves Jesus does. So, it occurred to me that there are at least four things we all need to give God permission to change our mind about. They are:
The people around us-
People are tough. They think weird things. More often than not, weird thinking leads to even weirder behavior. It is not uncommon for people to hurt us or the people we love with their weird behavior (Psalm 41:9). It is all too easy to believe another person’s weird and/or hurtful behavior is somehow personally directed at us or those we care about. Truth-be-told sometimes it is, but most of the time it isn’t. Our calling is to be open to the reality that the people hurting us aren’t all bad. Most of the time they are just weird and struggling with their own junk (1stCorinthians 13:4, Colossians 3:12-14).
Circumstances-
It’s easy to go negative in a fallen world, mostly because circumstances in our world can be brutally hard. Friends betray us, people we love get sick or die and sometimes life is just heartlessly unfair (Genesis 37-40, Matthew 27:45-65). It is all too easy to forget that God sometimes does His very best work in the darkest of circumstances. Quite often the darkness we experience in a given situation is just the prelude to something better than we could have ever imagined (Genesis 45, Matthew 28:1-7). This means we should stay open to changing our thinking about the situation we find ourselves in. Changing our thinking may or may not change circumstances but it will empower us to trust God in the midst of our confusion and pain.
What we see-
One of the hardest things about being human is that we CANNOT see the big picture. Our finiteness makes it impossible (1st Chronicles 16:7). We can only see what we see. Unfortunately, sometimes what we see does not accurately reflect the bigger picture of a given situation. I am convinced this is the primary reason Jesus cautioned against making harsh judgements (Matthew 7:1-2). It is on us to spend time in prayer before we judge what we see. We must also be willing to do a little investigative work before we believe the worst about something we witness.
The hearts of other people-
No one can see another person’s heart. This means we have no idea why other people do what they do. They might be doing what they’re doing because they’re evil and they want to hurt people (it happens). However, it’s far more likely that person is just a clueless bumbler completely unaware of how their actions are affecting the people in their orbit.
Unfortunately, negativity sometimes feels good. This is because allowing ourselves to “go there” feeds the fleshly part of us we are called to crucify (Galatians 5:24). The answer is not to pretend everything is okay when it’s not. The answer is to seek God and ask Him to change our minds and help us to see the bigger picture and give us the power to praise Him through the pain.
