You live in the midst of deception; in their deceit they refuse to acknowledge me,” declares the Lord- Jeremiah 9:6 NIV
Life is perfectly splendid here in hell.
This morning, I received month-end reports from all department heads. My scheme to distract humans from the truth of God and completely destroy them in the process is exceeding even my wildest expectations.
Western civilization has bought into the absurd notion that sexual pleasure is the key to happiness and self-actualization. I have managed to get half the human population so fixated on their own genitals that they are incapable of thinking about much else. The pornography industry has been incredibly useful to me in this area. A few decades back lobbyists for the industry convinced the courts that pornography is a harmless form of “free speech”. Now pornography is available on every smartphone in the land. Generation Z has been exposed to so much pornography that many of them would rather watch other people have sex than actually have sex. The ones that do have sex tend to have some pretty creepy views about the whole thing. Thanks to my efforts and the porn industry many of them will never be capable of having normal, healthy relationships.
I love a good lie and I hit on a winner a few years back. I actually persuaded educators, parents and activists that the science of biology is an irrelevant “social construct”. Ridiculous humans now “choose their own gender”. The concept is so obviously preposterous I secretly questioned whether or not I could pull it off. Nevertheless, I am pleased to report that gender confusion is “a thing”. Schools teach kiddos there are dozens of genders to choose from. The results have been magnificent. It is now trendy for children in elementary school to” identify” as “transgender” or “gender fluid”. I am most pleased with how I convinced parents they should allow their children to “transition”. “Enlightened” parents give doctors (who ought to know better) the go-ahead to pump their kids full of powerful hormone blockers and perform irreversible surgeries on their beloved children. I love it when kids transition. It destroys their natural sex drive and ensures their developing bodies will be mutilated beyond repair. It also guarantees that kids will never be capable of producing children of their own. I am tremendously eager for those children reach adulthood. They will soon recognize all that was stolen from them due to their parent’s foolishness and desire to appear as openminded by their progressive peers. I predict those kiddos will someday loathe their own parents. I amaze myself with my own ingenuity. I really am that smart. Seriously.
But, I digress.
Thanks to fake news and self-absorption I haven’t seen so much social turmoil and class envy since the days of the French Revolution (good times). Americans have the highest standard of living of any country on earth and yet all they do is demonstrate and demand free stuff. It looks as if socialism might be taking root. I adore socialism. What’s not to love about a system motivated entirely by envy that leads free people to hand their God-given rights over to godless bureaucrats who crave power and control? All I need is a few more of those idiots in power and all my dreams for that stupid country will finally come true. Thanks to media lies they are hovering on the brink of civil war. I LOVE civil war. It’s s just so magnificently bloody and destructive. Christians in America send out more missionaries than any other nation on earth. War will bring that nonsense to a screeching halt and there will be more souls in hell. I see nothing but potential in this situation.
I was a wee bit disappointed to discover that the abortion rate is down a bit in the U.S. All is not lost. I am on it. I have influenced a number of celebrities to glamorize and celebrate their own abortions. Young girls read those glowing testimonials and want to be like the women they admire. The abortion rate should be rebounding any day now.
The church has aided me greatly in my efforts in recent years. I have nothing but gratitude for those stupid but well-meaning Christians who bought my lie that talking about sin will keep the church from reaching the lost. Those folks go on and on about the love of God without ever realizing that it is only when people understand their own depravity that they seek God and are healed. Then there are the Christians I convinced that God doesn’t care about how they live. They live exactly like the unsaved people around them, no one is being drawn to Jesus by those people. Perhaps even more helpful to me are those Christians I have led to spread dissention in the church. Thanks to my inspiration and direction they insist on having their own way in everything and the church stays divided (just how I like it). I see to it that they never consult the Bible to find out if they are right or pray over their own silly stubbornness. As long as I can keep those stupid people from loving one another and uniting together in prayer everything will continue to be perfectly peachy here in hell.