Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart- Jeremiah 29:12-13 NIV
In recent years there has been a surge of those who have “deconstructed their faith” or to put in the old-fashioned vernacular: they renounced their faith in Jesus Christ. Some are influential Christians like Joshua Harris, Katy Perry and Marty Sampson. However, we have also seen an uptick in average Joes and Janes who have “deconstructed” or walked away from the faith.
Most of us know someone (or several someone’s) who were once actively involved in church who are now AWOL.
Most lay the blame for this problem at the feet of church leaders. I have personally pontificated in more than one blogpost about all the ways I believe the church and church leaders have failed the last two generations of church goers. However. In the interest of objectivity I believe it’s important to share the other side. It’s imperative we understand that with a few notable (and incredibly sad) exceptions’ churches have not driven people away.
People are choosing to leave.
Here’s the thing though:
Individuals who profess faith in Jesus and attend Church faithfully do not just wake up one day and just decide to stop. There is a process involved in departing the faith that starts with a hardening of the heart and ends with a defection from the faith (Hebrews 3:12-15). It begins with the adoption of attitudes and behaviors that open the door to apostasy. Christians should be on the lookout for those attitudes and behaviors in their own life and they should be ready to come alongside other Christians that are struggling with behaviors that can eventually lead to apostasy. Those behaviors include:
You put a lot of faith in human leaders-
Human leaders are, under the best of circumstances, a gift from God. A human leader who is fully obedient to Jesus can lead others into greater understanding of the faith, provide inspiration and give moral direction to other followers of Jesus. However, human leaders, even Christian leaders, are sinners just like all the other sinful humans out there. Humans lie, have affairs, steal, are sometimes bloated with pride and oftentimes get really important things hopelessly wrong. Wise Christians never put more faith in a human being, (no matter how wise or knowledgeable that human is) than they do Jesus. If your love for Jesus is dependent on the virtue of a human leader. I guarantee your love for God will grow cold sooner or later (Matthew 24:11-12). Human leaders always fail us at some point.
You don’t pray-
According to surveys most Christians (over half) spend less than three minutes a day in prayer. That means most Christians pray over their meals (maybe) and when they find themselves in dire straights. As Christians have prayed less, more are leaving the faith (Matthew 26:41). There is, without question a correlation and a causation between these two issues (Jude 20-21).
You never really committed to a local church-
Church attendance cannot and will not save anyone from their sin (only Jesus can do that). That said, a Christian who chooses not to connect in a local church will probably at some point be tempted to leave Christianity altogether. This is because church is where Christians build relationships and acquire the accountability necessary to get them through seasons of temptation and difficulty. (Proverbs 27:17).
You have not done the work necessary to transform your thinking-
Because we are all sinners from the moment we enter this world, wrong thinking is an integral part of our operating systems. One of the primary tasks of a new Christian is to begin the process of renewing their mind and changing their thinking about just about every subject under the sun (Romans 12:2, 1stCorinthians 14:20, 2nd Peter 3:1). If your attitudes about sex, relationships, politics and work haven’t changed since you became a Christian it’s possible you are not a Christian or you are in danger of falling away from Christianity (Hebrews 5:11-12).
You love secular advice-
Christians are called to live life by a different set of rules and values than the rest of the world. Non-Christians and immature believers know very little, if anything about how Christians are called to live (Matthew 5:43-48, Romans 12:12-14, Colossians 3:5-6). When we take most of our counsel or direction from those who are ignorant of Christian values (secular talk show hosts, women’s magazines, non-Christian counselors) or those who have recently converted to Christianity our thinking will remain stuck in a secular/worldly mindset. No one stuck in a secular mindset is capable of bringing glory to God or bringing anyone else into the Kingdom. (Colossians 3:1-3).
You love the world a little too much-
We “love the world” when we take our cues about how to live, love and function from the world’s system rather than from the Bible (John 2:15, Romans 12:2). Loving the world means the values of the world are influencing us and we are not influencing the people God has put around us.
God loves every human on earth with an absurd and crazy passion. However, people have a responsibility to respond to God’s love in humble faith, obedience and with a heart that is determined to persevere in the faith. It’s imperative Christians remember that no one will get a free pass from Jesus on judgment Day because the church disappointed them (Revelation 20:11-15)
my husband left the church after giving his heart to God over 30 years ago. The last 10 years I’ve seen a gradual stepping away that I didn’t really recognize of the time. He was so totally given over to God and all things of God. He was employed by Churches much of the last 30 plus years. Went on missions trips with one of our pastors. Help me raise our kids in the faith. I now suspect him of other things that I can’t Even bring up here. Now I wonder if it was an act for 30 years, or as life started to really get difficult to last 10 years or more, that he just couldn’t handle it and just walked away thinking whatever he was thinking.
Just to continue this a bit, I can’t even count on him to help me with moral decisions with our three kids, 18, 20 and 22. I’m impressed in a negative way the direction he has gone regarding Helping me with the kids.
You can be a Christian with out ever stepping foot in a church.
I am blessed with a close, loving relationship with my Loving Heavenly Father, best friend, king and savior Jesus and teacher, guidance councilor, healer, comforter, encourager, strengthener Holy Spirit.
I do not attend church because: I am an introvert, there are too many wolves dressed as sheep and they do not teach Biblical doctrine in the churches I have attended, indeed I have encountered worse sinners in the church than those in the world.
I do no doubt that you are a believer. However, I do question your choice to not get involved in a church of some kind. Just as an individual ember in a fire will burn out if left alone for too long so will a Christian who chooses to isolate him or herself.
For sure! Satan uses every trick in his book to side-line, & discourage us, so we must be on guard & keep our eyes on Christ.
People have “deconstructed” and remained Christians. They have left toxic churches, which they should.
Romans 11:29 As Paul states in Romans 11:29, “the gifts and callings of God are irrevocable” or “without repentance” (KJV). “Gifts” are those things that are freely or graciously given—think of the Christmas gifts you may have been given as a child. “Callings” are those things someone has summoned or invited another to do. In this instance, the gifts and callings come from God—God is the giver of the gifts and the initiator of the callings. These particular gifts and callings “can never be withdrawn” (NLT).
Thanking Him for giving His children His Living Word. The opening of our eyes to His Scripture comes from asking for His revelation knowledge. His word tells us to study to show ourselves approved. So, I did a study on being saved. I have always shared it with those who were not really saved (deconstructing God’s gift).
Here is the Scripture that will make everyone assured of their salvation: Start with Matthew 16:15-35; John 3:1-21; 3:27-36; Hebrew 5:7-14; John 6:43-51;
2 Corinthians 5:16-19; 2 Corinthians 2:13-16; 2 Corinthians 4:3-6 ; 1 John 5:20; Luke 24:44-49; Acts 16:14.
So, yes it is the Church that has brought man’s ego into the salvation message that they invent. If you have never been chosen, never had your eyes opened by the Spirit, you cannot receive what God has done to wash you clean, you hear the message and think it depends on you. We as the Church must lead each one to the Words and to God Who reveals the condition of our hearts and our need to be washed clean. We are told that once we are saved we are a New Creation, the old has passed away.
Surely the thought of deconstructing the faith we claimed to have received, was faith we never we received to begin with. This is a critical issue that really does need to be addressed. So, thank you for the Word.
Hi Marilyn, I think we can both agree that persistence is the surest sign of salvation. God’s word repeatedly commands God’s people to persist (Romans 2:7, 1st Timothy 4:15-16, James 1:12). If a person does not persist in their salvation they were never saved. I personally believe that there are a lot of people who THINK they are Christians and aren’t. My belief is backed up by Jesus’ teaching in Matthew 7:21-23. The people Jesus was talking about had a lot of what I would call ministry credibility: they cast out demons, prophesied (preached) and performed many miracles. They were very convinced they were right with God but they weren’t. Jesus said it comes down to what a person does either the will of the Father or things that bring glory to them (rather than God). Jesus taught what He taught because He wanted people to examine themselves and their spirituality. In 2nd Peter 1:3-11 Peter encourages his readers to make their calling and election certain by behaving in ways that are in keeping with genuine salvation. I have observed that the people who do or don’t do the things I mentioned in this post: putting too much faith in human leaders, not praying, never committing to a body of believers, not transforming one’s thinking and loving the world and secular advice DO NOT persist in their faith. If this post causes even one person to think about whether or not they are REALLY saved I will be thrilled. My hope is that this post encourages self-examination (2nd Corinthians 13:5) that could lead to actual salvation.