Category: Deconstruction

Loving an Adult Child who has Rejected God-

Lisa M. PriceLeave a comment

Foolish children are a grief to their father and bitterness to her who bore them- Proverbs 17:25 NRSVUE 

There is a worldwide epidemic of adult children raised in Christian homes who have defected from the Christian faith their parents devotedly sowed into them. 

Many of these adult children have deconstructed loudly and proudly. This group is openly critical of all things Christian and politically conservative. Many have adopted lifestyles and opinions completely antithetical to biblical Christianity. It is not unusual for young adults in this group to formally estrange from family members for voting the “wrong way” or attending the “wrong church”. Other young adult apostates have taken a less dramatic route and have quiet-quit Christianity. These adult children rarely discuss their decision to defect from Christianity; they just do it. They do not attend church, read their Bibles or pray. If a parent inquires, about their child’s beliefs or church attendance they just kind of shrug their shoulders and change the subject. 

Moms and Dads are understandably rattled by this turn of events. Most were loving and devoted Christian parents. None were perfect (no parent is) but most did their level-best to love their children well, teach them biblical truth and pass on their faith. 

In one sense this turn of events should surprise no one. The New Testament clearly predicts a mass apostasy (defection from the faith) just prior to the return of Jesus (1st Timothy 4:1-3, 2nd Thessalonians 2:3, 2nd Peter 3:3-4). Jesus also made it clear His teachings can bring deep division and conflict to families (Matthew 10:38, Luke 12:53). Moreover, we live in an anti-God, anti-family, throw away anything that “isn’t working for you” kind of a culture.  We are (in my opinion) very likely living in the days of a fulfillment of prophetic Scripture (2nd Timothy 3:1-5, Matthew 24:10-13).   Sadly, knowing these facts doesn’t make it any reality any easier to deal with. 

Thankfully, none of these realities mean all is lost. People change, God is powerful and if a person is breathing there is hope for their soul. Being the parent of a spiritually wayward adult child requires discernment and strategic thinking (Matthew 10:16). It is critical we remember we live in a world embroiled in brutal spiritual warfare (Ephesians 2:1-3, 1st Peter 5:8, James 4:7). Every parent in these situations must put on their armor (Ephesians 6:10-18) and do the following:  

Avoid manipulation and control-

There are a plethora of reasons attempting to manipulate or control an adult child is a terrible idea (Proverbs 28:26). Control and manipulation will not work (it might make things worse). It will breed resentment over time (Ephesians 6:4). It does not recognize or honor an adult child’s agency (Matthew 7:12). In some situations, a parent’s attempt to manipulate or control may even interfere with what God is attempting to do in the child’s life (Luke 15:11-32).  As parents of adult children, we must recognize adult children have the right to be wrong (John 12:48). They also have the right to reject God and His offer of salvation if that’s what they want to do. We must honor those rights. 

Own what you need to own but don’t take more blame than you deserve- 

We live in a culture where parents are expected to be perfect all the time. Many now-grown children have appointed themselves judge and jury of what was and was not perfect parenting. As a result, parents are often despised by their children for what most folks felt at the time was appropriate discipline and solid parenting. This can leave parents of adult kids with crippling guilt over a past they can’t change and choices that made sense at the time. It’s critical parents own what needs to be owned and leave the rest in God’s hands.  All parents make mistakes, many were too harsh, didn’t always listen well, disciplined in anger, took bad advice from experts and just generally acted like flawed human beings (Romans 3:23). If after some reflection and prayer you realize you made a mistake: own it and apologize. However, there is no reason to beat yourself up over things that cannot be changed. Instead, choose to honor God in the present by transforming into a better, healthier version of yourself now (Colossians 3, Romans 12, 2nd Peter 1:3-11). 

Pray for them-

In one sense adult children who have rejected God are no different than any other unbeliever. The number one thing Christians are commanded to do for the unbelieving is to pray for them. It is also important to note that as parents we have intimate understanding of our adult children.  This gives parents special insight into their child’s needs and makes their prayers all the more powerful. Our greatest responsibility is always to pray like a crazy person (1st Thessalonians 5:17, James 5:16, 1st Peter 4:7) and trust God to do what only He can do.

Earn the right to have conversations with them-

One oftentimes valid criticism adult kids have with their parents is that they did not always listen well to their children growing up (James 1:19). It’s never too late to change direction and become a good listener. Doing so will not only earn you the right to speak into their lives, it will also empower you to speak with true wisdom as you do (Psalm 37:30). 

Be faithful in your own spiritual life- 

Because our world is such a flaming-hot mess right now it has never been more important for God’s people to be faithful and do their best to live godly lives (Philippians 1:9-12, Philippians 2:12-15). This is even more true for parents who have adult children who have rejected God. A parents continued fidelity to Jesus stands as a powerful testimony that will speak long after the parent is gone. 

And finally, and most crucially, we must learn to trust the Lord with our kids. It helps to remember that God loves them way more than we do. He also has far more knowledge about how to get them on the narrow path of righteousness than we do (Matthew 7:13-14, Isaiah 55:8-9). When we trust God to do what only He can do we give Him all the space He needs to work on the hearts of our wayward kids (Jeremiah 31:16-17). 

Five Crazy Pants Lies Christians Believe about Sin-

Lisa M. PriceLeave a comment

Show me your ways, Lord, teach me your paths. Guide me in your truth and teach me,
    for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long- Psalm 25:4-5 NKJV

We live in an age of crazy pants lies.

There are so many lies told concerning so many issues, it can be tricky sorting out truth from fiction. This should come as no surprise to Christians.  Scripture predicts an age of widespread deception in the years prior to the return of Jesus (Matthew 24:4, Matthew 24:11-12, Matthew 24:24). Sadly, church world is not, nor has it ever been immune to lies (Romans 16:17, Timothy 4:3-4, 2nd Peter 2:1). Christians have an enemy that seeks to steal, kill and destroy every good thing in the life of believers (John 10:10, Mark 4:15, 1st Peter 5:8).  Therefore, the enemy benefits from Christians believing lies. There are more lies are told about sin in our age than almost any other issue. Some believe that because our sin is forgiven it is not something Christian’s ought to get worked up over. Others are so legalistic they make zero space for the foolishness and failings of humanity. This leaves those who have experienced moral failure feeling hopeless. Sin is an area that needs the light of truth shone on it. Following are five of the biggest lies we believe about sin.

All sin is the same-  

In one sense it’s true that all sin is the same. All sin is terrible and any sin (no matter how small or insignificant it seems to us) will keep a person separated from God forever (Romans 3:23). However, the whole notion that all sin is exactly the same once a person has been redeemed by Jesus (Mark 16:16, Romans 10:9-13, 1st Corinthains 15:1-5, Ephesians 2:1-10) does not hold up biblically. Some sins carry greater consequences than others. Telling someone their hair looks nice when it doesn’t (a lie) really only hurts the liar. Choosing to lie will make the liar comfortable with lying. Becoming comfortable with sin gives the devil a foothold in a person’s life. This will likely lead to a hardness of heart and even more lying but at the end of the day it is the teller of the small lie who is hurt the most (Revelation 2:8). Other sins like murder, abuse, idolatry and theft damage others, potentially creating life altering ripples in current and future generations (Proverbs 6:27-28). Moreover, the Bible makes it clear there are certain sins that if practiced routinely will keep a person out of heaven (1st Corinthians 6:9-10, Galatians 5:19-20, Ephesians 5:5). That is simply not true of every sin.  One can view this sticky wicket in one of two ways. Either genuinely saved people do not routinely commit those sins (Calvinist theology) or routinely committing those sins causes you to lose your salvation (Armenian theology). Either way it should make us think long and hard about what kind of sin we allow ourselves to get caught up in (Hebrews 12:1).

God doesn’t hear when a sinner prays-

Hogwash. God hears everything. He’s omniscient. God does not tune out prayer simply because it was uttered by a sinner (Romans 3:23). If He did no one in the history of humanity would ever have had a prayer answered. However, the only prayers God routinely ANSWERS from those living in stubborn, unrepentant sin are prayers of repentance asking for mercy, help and grace (Micah 3:4, Isaiah 59:2, 1st Peter 3:7). It’s just one more really good reason to choose to live a life as free from sin as possible (1st John 3:22. 

Sin is the fault of an outside source or influence- 

This lie is as old and persistent as the fall (Genesis 3:12). In John chapter nine Jesus heals a man who was born blind. Instead of marveling at the miracle they just witnessed, the pharisees just wanted to know who sinned causing this man to be born blind. Our generation is remarkably similar. Anytime someone sins (child molestation, abuse, murder, etc.) people look to outside sources to explain why that person became such a heinous sinner. Bystanders are quick to blame bad parenting, poverty and bullying for the sinful actions of the sinner. Ultimately, this tendency keeps people from taking responsibility for themselves and places guilt squarely on those (parents especially) who oftentimes did nothing wrong (Ezekial 18:1-31). The truth is that we all (no matter our experiences) have a choice about whether or not we sin (James 1:13-15)

Intentional sin is no different from unintentional sin- 

 It is true that any sin can be forgiven. It is also true that God understands and makes space for human weakness and stupidity (1st John 1:9-10). That’s what grace is for.  However, intentional sin (sinning on purpose, knowing it’s a sin) reveals a prideful heart that has either strayed far from God or a heart that never knew God at all (Numbers 15:30). Furthermore, those who sin intentionally and arrogantly often feel that God “owes” them forgiveness. These folks are (in my experience) more likely to deconstruct and walk away from the faith altogether (Hebrews 3:11-13). The bottom line in all this is that intentional sin is very bad and spiritually very dangerous.  Anytime we are tempted to sin intentionally we should do some heavy self-reflecting (2nd Corinthians 13:5) and make an effort to figure out what’s going on in our hearts. 

And finally: 

Our sin is what defines us- 

It can be, but only if we refuse to place our faith in Jesus. When we trust Jesus to forgive our sin and choose to repent (Matthew 4:17, Matthew 3:8). Jesus graciously forgives our sin, forgets all about it and makes us (spiritually speaking) white as snow. He then gives us the ability to transform into His image (Isaiah 1:18, Micah 7:19, Romans 12:2, 2nd Corinthians 5:17). This is a gamechanger for anyone who chooses it.  

Strategic Keys to Preventing Spiritual Burnout, Backsliding and Deconstruction-

Lisa M. PriceLeave a comment

Rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander, and like newborn babies, long for the pure milk of the word, so that by it you may grow in respect to salvation,if you have tasted the kindness of the Lord- 1st Peter 2:1-3 NASB

We all have them in our lives. 

People we love and care about who started the race of faith with a lot of hullabaloo and determination. Nevertheless, something went terribly wrong and they either deconstructed loudly and proudly or burnt-out slowly and left the Christian faith quietly. 

Their condition is sad, befuddling and scary all at the same time. It’s sad because we love them want everyone to experience every good thing Jesus has to offer (John 10:10). It’s befuddling because we cannot help but wonder what on earth happened. Were they never really believers?  If they are believers, will they make into heaven by the skin of their teeth with zero rewards? It’s scary because we don’t really know what the spiritual outcome will be for them.

Sadly, all the above questions are a bit above my paygrade. 

 I honestly don’t know if those who profess Christ and then regress permanently were ever really saved or not. Nor do I know what it will be like for them on judgment day. Jesus made it clear that there are people who appear to be Christians and are not (Matthew 13:30, Matthew 25).  It’s also true we are saved by grace, not works (Romans 3:23-24, Ephesians 2:8-9). However, everyone will receive rewards in keeping with their works (Matthew 6:1-6, Matthew 25:14-29, 1st Corinthians 3:15).

I do know God is gracious and good (Luke 15:11-32, 1st John 1:9, Lamentations 3:22). Therefore, prevention is without a doubt more important than understanding the ins-and-outs of issues that are above our paygrade. The sad reality is regression (or backsliding) can happen to anyone (Hebrews 5:12-14, Romans 1:21). It doesn’t matter if the person has been a believer (or even a Christian leader) for a long time. Nor does it matter how many cool things they have done for the kingdom. Regression happens to every classification of Christian. Because Jesus had nothing good to say about quitters (Luke 9:62) today we are going to look at the most common causes of spiritual regression and how to prevent them. 

Drift- 

The book of Hebrews has a lot to say about the spiritual dangers of drift (Hebrews 2:1-4, Hebrews 5:12-14, Hebrews 10:25). Drift usually begins with a tough season that leads to a low-level spiritual burnout.  Everything in life is hard and deep in our hearts we know God could make things easier on us if He was willing and obviously, He is not willing or the season would be less hard. So, we intentionally or subconsciously slow communication with the Almighty to a trickle. As a result, our Bibles get a bit dusty, church attendance becomes spotty and our prayers are more fleeting and compulsory than passionate and honest.  Before we know it, it’s like “God who?”. The key to preventing drift is accountability to other people and a rock-solid commitment to appropriately dealing with our anger at God (see point four) and trusting Him to do what’s best for us even when the circumstances of our lives are not all we hoped they would be. 

 Ditching church- 

Attending Church doesn’t make a person a Christian, nor does church attendance automatically make an attender spiritually healthy. However, church attendance is a gage of our spiritual temperature.  A desire to ditch church is a clear indicator of a problem. However, attending a healthy, gospel proclaiming church puts us in proximity to things and people that encourage and promote growth like other Christians, solid Bible teaching and prayer (James 5:16). 

Lack of intentional growth- 

Spiritual growth does not happen without effort (2nd Peter 1:3-11).  Choosing to grow means making a daily commitment to pray, learn the Bible and practice holiness (Isaiah 35:8, 2nd Corinthians 7:1). Choosing to grow also means deciding every single day to get up and persevere in our faith even when life gets hard and God feels distant.  It means never giving up or giving into spiritual laziness (Hebrews 6:11). 

Hurt that gets the better of us-

The Bible does not shy away from the reality that this life is full of pain and heartache (Romans 8:18, 2ndCorinthians 1:5). If we are not careful the trouble and tribulation that’s a normal consequence of living in a fallen world can cause us to become bitter towards God. Bitterness can lead to spiritual defection (Matthew 13:21, Matthew 24:9-10, Hebrews 12:15). On the other hand, pain and hurt can cause us to grow and become even more rooted in our faith (1st Peter 1:6-9). Prayer and close Christian friends are the keys to keeping the tough stuff from getting the best of us (Matthew 26:14, 1st Peter 4:7, Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, Hebrews 10:24-25, 1st Thessalonians 5:11). However, waiting until there’s a crisis to build community or cultivate a prayer life will not do a whole lot for us. Prayer and community should be a priority for every Christian. The tough times will come (John 16:33) it’s on us to be spiritually prepared for those times (Matthew 7:24-27).  

And finally,  

Getting hung up on the stuff we don’t understand- 

No human being is capable of fully understanding why God does what He does (Isaiah 55:8-9). This means that when we come up against seasons of life or circumstances that make no sense. In those moments the only spiritually logical response is to trust and believe God is good and He is diligently working things out for our good (Romans 8:28). 

Making Spiritual Sense of Those who Once Professed Christ but no Longer Live for Him-

Lisa M. Price1 Comment

The one sown with seed on the rocky places, this is the one who hears the word and immediately receives it with joy; yet he has no firm root in himself, but is only temporary, and when affliction or persecution occurs because of the [word, immediately he falls away- Matthew 13:20-21 NASB

From time-to-time, I have a conversation with the Lord that goes something like this:

Me: Good morning God!  What do you want me to write about this week?

God: I want you to write about ____________________.

Me: Uh… I’m sorry God, I hate to tell you this but no one wants to read that. It will make people mad. 

God: I know. Write it anyway. 

Me: Sigh. Okay. 

Such was the case this last week. I asked God for a topic. He gave me one. I argued with Him. He won. It’s His thing. 

So.

I work in an arena of ministry with many people who have relatives (usually adult kids, but not always) who are walking a very sinful path. Sometimes these adult kids are so steeped in sin they are walking several different sinful paths all at the same time (trust me it can be done). All these adult children know their behavior is wrong because they were raised to know right from wrong. The folks I work with are looking for some kind of spiritual hope for their loved one. More often than not, they find that hope in a commitment the adult child made to the Lord a long time ago, often in childhood or their early teens. Sometimes the child who is now walking in sin appeared to walk with God for a season. However, that ship has officially sailed. They are now living lives that completely oppose God and everything He’s all about.  Nonetheless, these parents cling to the belief that their child’s childhood commitment was the real deal and “proof” their child is a believer. 

I hate to be the bearer of bad news (truly I do). 

However, this line of thinking is not wise or biblical. It is personally comforting to believe a loved one is saved when they are living far from God. However, it is not in our best interest or theirs to hang all our hopes on a prayer a child (or an adult, for that matter) prayed at some point in the distant past, when there is zero fruit to indicate they have made the journey from spiritual death to spiritual life (Matthew 3:9-11, Matthew 7:16-20, Luke 6:43-44, John 15:4, Galatians 5:19-24). 

 Here’s why:

False hope keeps us from praying rational and compassionate prayers-

The most loving thing one human can do for another is pray for their salvation (Acts 2:21, Acts 4:12, 1stCorinthians 6:9-10, Titus 2:11-12).  Therefore, if a loved one does not live like a Christian the loving and logical thing is to assume they aren’t one and pray accordingly. If we get it wrong, the Lord will sort it out. 

There is very little space in the New Testament for Christians who don’t at least try and act like Christians-

There’s just not (Romans 6:1-23, Romans 7:4-6, Ephesians 2:1-10, 2nd Corinthians 5:17, 2nd Peter 1:3-11). It is normal for new Christians and even seasoned saints to stumble and even fall sometimes. No one this side of heaven is free of their sin nature. We should not assume that just because a Christian screws up (even in a really big way) they are unsaved. That being said, the Bible makes it clear: authentic believers in Jesus do not wallow around in sin for years and years with no apparent remorse or desire to change. Nor do they mock Jesus, Christianity or other Christians. True Christians do not write or speak about how freeing it is to depart the faith and live a life of unfettered sin. Jesus is clear: no fruit (or ONLY bad fruit) no salvation. That doesn’t mean anyone is doomed. As long as a person is breathing there is hope for redemption (John 3:16, Romans 5:7-9).  That said, we must be realistic about their spiritual state in order to help them. 

Children don’t always understand the commitment they made-

It is spiritually risky to assume a child or teenager understands or understood all the ins-and-outs of making a heartfelt commitment to Jesus when many saved adults struggle with the concepts of salvation and sanctification. We must understand that from a developmental standpoint the teen years are a period of life when people “try on” identities and decide who they want to be and how they want to live. If a teen or child “tries on” the identity of “Christian” or goes through the motions of living like a Christian for a season but never REALLY repents of their sin and follows through on a commitment to obey Jesus as the Lord of their life, the whole thing was (sadly) just another phase of childhood and nothing more. Consequently, it’s critical parents ensure children and teens who profess Christ are given a LOT of follow-up care and discipleship. It’s the best way to stack the odds in favor of a genuine commitment to Jesus (John 10:9). 

I am not arguing people “lose” their salvation. However, Jesus made it clear there will be people who make commitments to God who don’t really mean it or understand what that commitment entails. Those people inevitably “fall away” (Matthew 7:13-23, Matthew 25:31-46, Mark 16:16). If those folks die without truly knowing Christ as Lord, they will not make it heaven. We prove our love for these people by praying fervently they will understand their spiritual reality and seek God while He can be found (Isaiah 55:6, Hebrews 4:6-7, 2nd Peter 3:9, Matthew 24:13).  

How to tell if a Pastor or Christian Teacher has Gone off the Rails-

Lisa M. Price2 Comments

They are from the world, therefore they speak as from the world, and the world listens to them. We are from God. The one who knows God listens to us; the one who is not from God does not listen to us. By this we know the spirit of truth and the spirit of error- 1st John 4:5-6 NASB

Tuesday morning, I read an article about a once-wildly-popular Christian influencer who has gone completely of the rails. This woman claims to be a “big fan of Jesus” and yet she has ditched church, embraced LGBTQ-A ideology and has divorced her husband. She has proudly declared she is experiencing a “sexual renaissance” with a man she is not married to (1st Corinthians 5:9-11). She has also taken to peddling online educational courses. Her website promises that for $69.00 she will teach parents how to best “support” and “affirm” their LGBTQ-A children (Romans 1:18-32, 1st Corinthians 6:9-11).  Another of her courses promises to walk individuals through the process of spiritual deconstruction (becoming apostate).  (1st Timothy 4:1, 2ndThessalonians 1:1-3, Matthew 24:9-10).

Yikes.  

At the risk of coming off as a smarty-pants-know-it-all-I-told-you-so-jerk-face, I totally called this one. Back in January 2020 I wrote a post outlining some concerns I had regarding her theology and views on sexuality. It made me uneasy that conservative evangelicals (one in particular) were endorsing her ministry in spite of some clear indicators all was not well with her from a spiritual perspective.  

This whole messy muddle begs a question: 

How does one tell if a teacher or influencer is about to or has already gone off the rails from a biblical perspective? 

This matters.  There are all sorts of pastors, teachers and influencers with huge followings who are teaching things that bear no real resemblance to traditional biblical doctrine (Acts 20:29-30, Colossians 2:8, 1st Timothy 6:3-5, 2nd Timothy 4:3). Sadly, most of these teachers started out with fairly orthodox Christian views. Nonetheless, they all went off the rails. It’s critical we understand that apostasy does not happen overnight. It’s always a slow slide that typically begins with a teacher or pastor “evolving” on some key issues that make Christianity much more appealing to the average heathen. The evolution ends with a wild, celebratory promotion of every sinful practice popular in our world today. These teachers are, for the most part (in my opinion) unregenerate people who think they are saved (Matthew 7:15-23). Ultimately, ministry is attractive to them because it allows them a way to gain a following and make money (1st Timothy 6:5, 2nd Peter 2:1-3).  Unfortunately, these “teachers” take countless untaught people and those lacking discernment to hell with them. Thankfully, there are always clues teacher or influencer is either apostate or headed in that direction. Following are six indicators all is not well with a pastor, teacher or influencer: 

Their views on sexuality become increasingly more “progressive”-

One clear sign a teacher or influencer is veering from sound doctrine is the decision to embrace LBGTQ lifestyles and sex (gay or straight) outside of marriage. God has not changed His mind on what is or isn’t morally acceptable (Numbers 23:19, Hebrews 13:8, 1st Corinthians 6:9-11, 1st Corinthians 6:18, 1st Thessalonians 4:3-8). It is simply not our place to defy God on these issues. 

Unity is their rallying cry- 

Christian unity is something believers should strive for (Ephesians 4:1-3, Psalm 133:1). As long as they are unified around God and the truth of God’s word (John 17:23).  Teachers who are apostate or flirting with deconstruction tend to teach that unity itself is more important than being unified around God’s standard of truth. 

Psychology is as valid as the Bible-  

 Psychology is a tool.  If psychology is used wisely, it helps us understand the roots of our behavior. When we understand the roots of sinful patterns, that knowledge helps us (along with the Holy Spirit of course) to permanently repent of those sins (Matthew 3:8). Psychology goes bad when it is given the same (or higher) legitimacy that the Bible. Unfortunately, many Bible teachers and influencers disregard biblical mandates and wisdom in favor of psychology that contradicts or undermines biblical instruction.

The world loves them- 

If the secular world invites a Christian on a secular podcast there’s a better than decent chance they are NOT the real deal. Best case scenario, they are likely deliberately dodging some important but hard Christian teachings. People who are dying spiritually do not wish to hear truth (Jeremiah 6:10, Acts 7:52-58, 1st Corinthians 1:18, 2nd Corinthians 4:3-4). Therefore, with a few noteworthy exceptions authentic Bible teachers will not be given prominent secular platforms. 

Their view of God is basic- 

Those veering from sound doctrine love love. Their view of God can be boiled down to “God is love” with zero caveats or disclaimers. God is love (John 3:16, Romans 5:8, 1st Corinthians 13). However, God is also righteous, just and holy (Isaiah 6:3, 1st Peter 1:16, Romans 1:18, Romans 12:1). Any teaching that emphasizes God’s love without giving equal time to holiness is likely false teaching (Psalm 14:34, Isaiah 5:20, Ephesians 1:4-5, Galatians 6:7). 

And finally, 

They avoid the s-word.

Those veering from sound doctrine rarely talk about sin. When they do, sin is nearly always presented in terms of judging people or not showing love to others. There is very little (if any) talk of avoiding certain sins (sexual immorality, greed, jealousy, idolatry, hate, unforgiveness) or repenting of sin. If a pastor or influencer refuses to discuss a subject Jesus didn’t shy away from (Matthew 5:29-30, Luke 13:3-5) there’s a pretty good chance they don’t know Him.  

Spiritually speaking, these are dark times we live in. One key to surviving these times is discernment concerning who’s teaching we choose to follow.  If a teacher or influencer is loved by the world, avoids tough subjects or teaches that anything goes it is best to simply avoid them (1st Timothy 3:1-5). 

A quick note to parents who have children who identify as gay, lesbian or transgender: there are some amazing ministries who will support you and love you. These folks will show you how to love your child WITHOUT celebrating or affirming sin. Please message me if you want info. 

How to Best Love a Prodigal-

Lisa M. Price2 Comments

My brothers, if anyone among you wanders from the truth and someone brings him back, let him know that whoever brings back a sinner from his wandering will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins- James 5:19-20 ESV

Love is an issue that doesn’t look particularly complex or messy on the surface, but it is.  Actions that look and feel loving sometimes aren’t and actions that appear harsh are sometimes the most loving course of action.  God’s love for humanity demonstrates this conundrum perfectly. God loves us more than anyone can even imagine (John 3:16, Romans 8:38-39). Nevertheless, God doesn’t always (ever) give anyone everything they want or think they need. God also frequently allows individuals to experience trouble, discomfort and hardship because struggles draw folks closer to Him and refine their character (Isaiah 48:10, James 1:1-3, Hebrews 12:5-7)

Like I said, it’s complex and messy.

The muddle promptly becomes messier when we are called to love a prodigal child. A prodigal can be defined as anyone who once knew God (or knew of God) and has since walked away from any pretense of a relationship with God. The Bible tells the story of a prodigal son who wandered far from God and estranged from his earthly father. 

Our world is full of prodigals. Many prodigals have also cut ties with their earthly parents.  This leaves parents wondering how to best love children who have wandered from home and left their parents brokenhearted by their choices. The biblical story of the prodigal son (Luke 11:15-32) is a story with more than one level and meaning. On one level it is a story about how God relates to people. It was intended to prepare the Jews (who represent the older brother) for God’s welcoming of the gentiles (who represent the younger brother) into His Kingdom through faith in the sacrifice of Jesus (Ephesians 2:1-22, Colossians 1:25-28, Galatians 3:28). On another level the story gives much needed guidance and wisdom as to how best love a wandering son or daughter.

We love a prodigal when we:

Understand the spiritual reality behind the child’s choice-

Most prodigals sever relationships with family for the same reason the prodigal son did. They want to live a life of sin. They know they cannot comfortably live a sinful life in front of the people who love them, so they do what the prodigal did. They make their choice to sever ties about the parent rather than their desire to live a sinful life.  (Luke 15:11-13). It’s critical parents of prodigals recognize that a child living in sin will avoid anyone whose presence sparks any kind of spiritual conviction. The choice to leave is not always all about the parent.  At least some of the choice is very much about the state of the child’s heart. 

Choose restraint-

One truly notable aspect of the prodigal account is the restraint of the father.  The man clearly loved his son. Nonetheless, he did not beg him to stay, nor did he send long letters or servants to plead with his son to return. He certainly did not endeavor to make his son’s life easier by sending him little gifts or monetary support.  Instead, the father let him go and prayed like crazy. He worked on himself and trusted God to do whatever hard thing needed to be done in the life of his child. His goal was not simply to reconnect with his son. He wanted his son back in right relationship with God because he understood that a right relationship with God is a healing force in all our earthly relationships. It is not wrong to attempt to connect with a wayward child. Adult children need to know they are loved unconditionally. That said, it is critical we trust the Lord and avoid using emotional appeals, money or gifts to lure them back into relationship. We must accept the reality that God may need to do some hard things in their life that simply cannot be done if mom and dad are “helping” too much or working too hard to win them back.  

Don’t affirm or celebrate anything God wouldn’t affirm or celebrate- 

Many of today’s prodigals demand their parents celebrate and affirm sinful lifestyle choices as a condition of continuing the relationship. This is wrong on many levels. It is critical parents do not allow their children to become idols (1st John 5:21). We cannot put their preferences before God and His commands (Exodus 20:3). Contrary to popular belief, it is possible to love someone without affirming their sinful choices. God does it all the time. 

Pray for them-

Refusing to forgive someone is a serious sin (Matthew 6:15, Matthew 18:21-35, Mark 11:25-26). Sadly, unforgiveness is at the heart of most estrangements. Furthermore, just like the prodigal in Luke 15 most prodigals are also tangled up in all sorts of other sins (1st Corinthians 6:9-11, Galatians 5:19, 2nd Timothy 3:1-5). Godly parents can best love a prodigal by praying fervently and often that the child “comes to their senses” and repent of their sins (Luke 15:17-19).

And finally, 

Keep growing- 

Waiting is never easy. Waiting for a prodigal is a whole new level of hard and the temptation to give into bitterness is real (Hebrews 12:15, Ephesians 4:31).  I am convinced God wants us to do what the father in the story did. The father trusted God do what needed to be done in his son. He never gave up hope and he never stopped praying for his child. I also believe (although the text doesn’t say it explicitly) that the father chose to grow as a believer and as a person while he waited. I suspect that hurting dad made a regular practice of examining his heart. Then he worked on the things he needed to work on and repented of the things he needed to repent of. It was his commitment to trusting, praying and spiritual growth that prepared him to welcome his son home with open arms, a soft heart and big party. 

Four Causes of Spiritual Dullness and how to Fix it-

Lisa M. PriceLeave a comment

Like newborn babies, long for the pure milk of the word, so that by it you may grow in respect to salvation, if you have tasted the kindness of the Lord- 1st Peter 2:2-3 NASB

I love the book of Hebrews.  

It’s a beautifully written book that has never failed to challenge me.  A recent reread has got me pondering all sorts of issues but mostly the whole notion of spiritual dullness. 

Many scholars believe the book of Hebrews was written to a group of Jewish priests who became obedient to the teachings of Jesus not long after he ascended into heaven (Acts 6:7).  Whoever they were, the original readers started their spiritual journey with an enthusiastic passion for Jesus (Hebrews 10:32-35). However, at the time of the letter’s writing their spiritual enthusiasm had cooled to the point the writer felt compelled to say this about them:

About this we have much to say, and it is hard to explain, since you have become dull of hearing.For though by this time, you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you again the basic principles of the oracles of God. You need milk, not solid food, for everyone who lives on milk is unskilled in the word of righteousness, since he is a child.But solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil- Hebrews 5:11-14 NASB

Yikes. 

It’s a brutally harsh assessment of their spiritual state, and it was all true. The Hebrew Christians who had begun their faith journey with so much promise and potential had somehow become spiritually feeble and dull. The writer of Hebrews desperately wanted them to understand they were in a spiritually precarious position. The whole letter is a long exhortation begging them to get back on track spiritually before they lose their desire to do so altogether. 

So, what exactly causes spiritual dullness to set in? 

Like most spiritual problems dullness is much easier to prevent than to fix. The letter to the Hebrews would never have made it into the New Testament if the warnings in it were not intended for all followers of Jesus in all times (John 17:17, Acts 17:11, 2nd Timothy 3:16-17, Hebrews 4:12-13).  The writer of Hebrews is clear, spiritual maturity is the antidote to spiritual dullness. However, maturity is not a given, it is something we must go after (Hebrews 2:1, Hebrews 3:12-13, Hebrews 5:11-14, Hebrews 6:9-12). Spiritual dullness does not happen in a vacuum; there are predictable events that lead us to a state of dullness. Some of those are:

Too much exposure to worldliness- 

Worldliness is best defined as being more devoted to the things of this world and its pleasures than to the things of God. God has nothing positive to say about worldliness (2nd Timothy 4:10, 1st John 2:15) and it’s not because He’s a spoilsport who hates fun. God is opposed to worldliness because He knows that the desires we feed grow. If we feed ourselves worldly pleasures they will grow into (best case scenario) spiritual dullness and (worst case scenario) a voracious craving for sin. However, if we limit our exposure to worldly entertainment and pastimes our desire for God and personal holiness will grow (Philippians 4:8-9, 1st Corinthians 9:24-27, 2nd Timothy 2:16). 

Sin- 

This is kind of a no brainer, nonetheless it’s a no brainer that bears repeating. Nothing dulls a Christian more spiritually than sin and disobedience (Isaiah 59:2). Anytime we choose to indulge ourselves in something God has deemed wrong it becomes a little more difficult to hear the voice of God.  Therefore, it is imperative we examine our lives often to make sure we are as free from both intentional and unintentional sin as humanly possible (Hebrews 12:1-12, 2nd Corinthians 13:5, 1st Peter 2:24, Hebrews 12:14).

Unresolved spiritual confusion-  

The recipients of the letter to the Hebrews were intimately familiar with trials, trouble and oppression (Hebrews 10:32-34). The Hebrew Christians experienced suffering from every side. The Jews (their own people) despised them for embracing Jesus, the Roman government persecuted them for the same reason. As a result, they found themselves in constant danger and subject to endless abuse. As a result of their trials, they experienced a kind of spiritual confusion that often accompanies painful spiritual experiences we do not find a way to process. The only way to process these kinds of experiences is through prayer with the knowledge that: A) this world is not our home; we do not fit in here and we never will (Hebrews 11:13-15). B) We are living in Satan’s territory, and He loves nothing more than to discourage us and kick us when we are down (Ephesians 2:1-3, Ephesians 6:10-18, 2ndTimothy 3:12, Revelation 2:9-11). And C) God sees EVERYTHING and He has something uniquely beautiful planned in eternity for those who suffer here on earth because they were faithful to Jesus (1st Peter 3;12, Revelation 3:8-13, Isaiah 43:2-4).  If we do not keep these truths firmly in mind the enemy will use our suffering and confusion to make us bitter and useless to God (Hebrews 12:15). 

And finally, spiritual maturity versus dullness all comes down to: 

The level of attention we pay to our spiritual life–

 Spiritual practices such as church attendance, prayer and Bible reading help us keep our eyes on Jesus (Hebrews 2:1, 1st Timothy 4:16, Hebrews 10:24-25, 1st Thessalonians 5:16-18). Anytime we take our eyes off Jesus and the prize of eternity we risk becoming spiritually dull. Making the choice to fix our focus on Jesus daily is a spiritual gamechanger (Hebrews 12:1-3). Focusing our attention on Jesus and the sacrifice He made on our behalf vanquishes spiritual dullness and gives us the spiritual power we need to stand firm no matter the circumstances we find ourselves in.

Six Prayers Every Prodigal Desperately Needs Someone to Pray for Them-

Lisa M. Price1 Comment

This is what the Lord says: “Restrain your voice from weeping and your eyes from tears; For your work will be rewarded,” declares the Lord, “And they will return from the land of the enemy.  There is hope for your future,” declares the Lord, “And your children will return to their own territory- Jeremiah 31:16-17 NASB

Prodigal. 

In the Greek it means “wasteful”, “extravagant” or “reckless”. 

A prodigal is anyone who knows about God who has chosen to live their life apart from God. Spiritually speaking this type of living is extravagantly “reckless” and “wasteful”. Christians most commonly use the word prodigal to describe a child who grew up in a Christian home and has chosen to walk away from what they were taught (Luke 15:11-32). 

There are a lot of prodigals in this world (2nd Timothy 3:1-5). 

Some have chosen to ignore God and live their lives as if He doesn’t exist, others openly rebel against Him (Psalm 14:1). Sadly, a good number of prodigals have walked away from their families as well.  The reasons for the spiritual defection are varied. Some had negative experiences with church as children or young adults that soured them on Christianity. Some prodigals simply love sin more than they love God. Some had questions or concerns about Christianity that never got answered. Still others have been ensnared by a toxic therapy culture which encourages people to ditch anyone or anything (including God or the families that raised them) that does not make them feel great about every choice they make. 

To the people who love them a prodigal is a walking heartbreak. 

The most valuable thing anyone can do for a prodigal (child, sibling, friend or parent) is to pray for them. No one has ever been talked out of a life of sin, self-interest, or debauchery. Nonetheless many people have been prayed out of such things and into the kingdom of God (Romans 8:26, 1st Corinthians 6:9-11).  Sometimes family members find themselves at loss as to HOW to pray for their prodigal. The spiritual condition of a prodigal is precarious. They have willfully denied truth.  This choice will lead nowhere good without an intervention from the Holy Spirit. Therefore, hard prayers are very much in order. Following are five prayers every prodigal needs someone to pray for them daily. 

Pray they will weary of worldliness and sin-

When we choose not to follow God we always choose worldliness or sin of some sort. The thing about sin and worldliness is that they will never satisfy the soul, bring peace or deliver what they promised. Truth-be-told, worldliness and sin do the exact opposite, sin always leaves the sinner in turmoil and wanting more. Pray your prodigal will experience in their soul the emptiness of sin and weary of the life they have chosen. 

Pray their pride will be broken-

Anyone who looks around at the way this world was created and chooses to conclude there is no God is irrational and arrogant (Romans 1:18-20, Psalm 14:1).  Those who believe there is a God but also believe they do not need God or are above bowing their knee to God is bloated with pride (Proverbs 16:18). One or the other of these scenarios is a reality with all prodigals. Those who love a prodigal must pray that God will do what needs to be done to get their prodigal to a place where they set aside their pride and submit their life to the leadership of the God who made them (Luke 15:14-20).  

Pray they will be surrounded by people who know and love God-

Because of pride and/or shame few prodigals seek out their family members for advice or spiritual wisdom even when they want or need it. Therefore, it is critical every prodigal has at least one person in their life who loves Jesus. We must pray that God will surround our loved one with spirit-led Christians who will love them with the love of Jesus and speak truth to them. 

Pray deception will be lifted so they can see the truth- 

The goal of Satan is to blind people to the truth of God so that they will reject God (2nd Thessalonians 2:9-10, 1stPeter 5:8). Satan uses lies and deception to keep prodigals from seeing where their choices will eventually lead them. It is critical we pray that the any deception the enemy is using to divert or deceive our loved one will be lifted so that are capable of seeing spiritual and moral truth. 

Pray they will see the underbelly of whatever lifestyle they have chosen over God- 

Many prodigals leave what they have been taught about God to embrace a lifestyle that is contrary to biblical teaching. Those lifestyles are often centered around sexual immorality of one sort or another (promiscuity, adultery, homosexuality, transgenderism). All these lifestyles feel good (at least in the beginning) but they all have an ugly underbelly, a dark side that people need to see so they will want to break free of spiritual bondage that accompanies those choices.  Pray your loved one will have the eyes to see what’s wrong and icky with the life they have chosen.

And finally, 

Pray they will come to understand how deeply God loves them. I am convinced prodigals never really knew God or understood how much He loves them. If they did, they would never have walked away. Pray your prodigal will come to understand the depth of the love God has for them (Zephaniah 3:17, John 3:16, Romans 8:37-39, Ephesians 2:4-5) Knowledge and gut-level understanding of God’s love is total gamechanger in the life of a prodigal. 

Every. Single. Time. 

What do we do with 1st Timothy 4:1 People?

Lisa M. PriceLeave a comment

Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God- Hebrews 3:12

As a general rule my regular Bible reading includes a chapter out of a book I’m reading as well as a Psalm or two. Additionally, I have this thing I call an “openness” policy when it comes to Bible reading. This “policy” isn’t anything super special, weird or spiritual.  It just means that if my Bible falls open to a particular verse as I’m flipping between my regular Bible reading and the Psalms, I give it a read. This ensures I have a regular Bible reading routine AND I give God space to speak to me through something I didn’t intend to read that day.  

Sometimes He does. Sometimes He doesn’t. This morning He did.  As I was flipping between 1st Peter chapter two and Psalms three my Bible fell open to this:

Now the Spirit expressly says that in later times some will depart from the faith by devoting themselves to deceitful spirits and teachings of demons- 1st Timothy 4:1 NASB

This verse led me down a thought-provoking little rabbit hole. I began looking up words in the Greek and quickly discovered the word translated “depart” sometimes translated “fall away” in English is a far more robust word in the Greek. It doesn’t just mean “to leave” or to “quit something”. It means to “defect from loudly” and/or to “revolt against” the thing you’re leaving. 

This is kind of where we’re living right now. 

Most of those who have left the church in recent years haven’t just departed quietly from church world and gone on with their lives. Most have left with guns blazing (metaphorically speaking) and have staged a revolt against all things Christian. Many are filled with fury and vitriolic criticism aimed at churches and church leaders. They hate all things traditionally Christian and are determined to see the Church “reformed” and transformed it into something entirely different than what is found on the pages of the New Testament. 

This begs a question: 

What do we do with “former Christians” who are critical of the church or who want to see the church radically transformed to better suit the values they currently hold dear? There are at least three things we should be careful to do when dealing with former Christians. The first is:

Listen- 

Please understand I am not saying we should automatically do everything the angry unbeliever thinks ought to be done. That’s crazy talk. That said, there is always value in listening with a discerning ear (Proverbs 18:5). Thoughtful, discerning listening often uncovers a world of hurt and pain lying just beneath the vitriol and hate of those who have left the church. When this happens, we have an opportunity to discuss what led to the departure and perhaps even do a little repair work in the process. Loving people enough to listen is pretty much always a good idea.  (1st Peter 4:8). However, it is critical we exercise wisdom and discernment as we listen. We must carefully separate any anger they have towards God’s decrees concerning right and wrong and people who may have done them wrong. If a person hates God because He limits their personal freedom in some way that is not our problem (Psalm 68:1).  We should pray for those people and leave them to God. However, if someone hates the way they were treated by God’s people we ought to at least try and repair the damage. 

Be humble when humility is appropriate-

Christians screw up. All the time. In the last couple of decades there has been a lot of mess in Church world. There has been a plethora of corrupt and/or inept leadership. The church has also been inundated with some well-intended but poorly thought-out programs/bandwagons such as the purity movement. On top of all that there’s been hordes of legalism and very little grace for those who would have benefitted from some. If you’re dealing with a defector who was a victim of bad leadership, mean Christians or crummy doctrine it is totally appropriate to admit wrong where wrong was clearly done and apologize on behalf of the church for the pain they experienced. 

And finally:

Do not negotiate with terrorists when it comes to issues that really matter- 

Christians should do their best to show love and respect to those who oppose God. No one in the history of Christianity has ever been won to Jesus (or won back) with ugliness, contempt or meanness (Romans 13:7, 1stPeter 2:17). 

That being said. 

Those who have departed the faith are (unbeknownst to them) under the influence of deceiving spirits. They are (again, unknowingly) devotees of “doctrines of demons”. Therefore, they tend to loathe God, God’s standards of right and wrong and anyone who upholds those standards. Most defectors wish to transform Christianity into something trendy, woke and very twenty-first century. Practically speaking, this means opposing traditional marriage, toppling gender norms and celebrating abortion as a “gift”. It always means encouraging and celebrating all forms of sexual expression, no matter how weird and deviant they may be. Period. 

We simply cannot negotiate with spiritual terrorists. It’s that simple and nothing personal. We must obey God above all else (Acts 5:29). This means God’s word cannot be modified or tossed out by those who lack spiritual understanding. It is our responsibility as Christians to “contend earnestly for the faith” and to “make a defense” for what we believe (Jude 1:3, 1st Peter 3:15). This must be done kindly and firmly, and always without apology. 

The “Why” Every Christian to Needs to Understand-

Lisa M. Price1 Comment

Yet the people refused to listen to the voice of Samuel, and they said, “No, but there shall be a king over us”- 1st Samuel 8:19 NASB

Every once in a while, the good Lord taps me on the shoulder and quietly lets me know that I am not completely finished with something I assumed was over. I know it’s God speaking because I am unable to let the thing (whatever it may be) go mentally or emotionally. 

Such was the case with last week’s blog post. 

I wrote about a rather grim warning Jesus gave regarding the sorry state of Christian leadership in the end times (Matthew 24:48-51). The overall point of the post was that the Church is almost certainly (at least to some degree) walking in the reality of Jesus’ warning. There is a shocking excess of selfish, hurtful and just plain crummy leadership in Christian circles. This is obviously not okay. Christians need to think about this, even if the leadership we are following or practicing is awesome. This is because Christian leadership impacts how unbelievers view both God and the church.  The epidemic of crummy leadership in the Church is without a doubt one of the reasons so many have defected from the church in recent years. 

In my mind the subject was exhausted.  

Nonetheless, Monday I had a niggling sense there was more God wanted me to say on the subject. I prayed about it and by mid-afternoon I understood what was missing from the original post.

The why. 

The why is the reason or reasons hiding behind a problem or issue.  Why’s matter.  Anytime we do not understand the why of something the problems associated with that thing tend to repeat themselves. Such is the case here. Crummy spiritual leadership is not new problem. Bad leadership has been the bane of both Jewish and Christian history. In first Samual eight we see the first recorded occurrence of the problem. 

Most of us are familiar with the story.

The Israelites decided they wanted a king to lead them.  The people longed for a human leader who had all the answers. They wanted someone who was bright and well spoken. Someone who understood what do and how to get it done. Samuel warned them that if they went that route, evil, self-absorbed men would move into that role, and they would pay a heavy price for their choice (1st Samuel 8:11-18).

 In a very real sense, many Christians want the same thing the Israelites wanted. Christians want leaders who look good and represent our churches well. Christians want leaders who will clearly state the will of God for our lives. We want someone to seek God on our behalf and give us moral and spiritual direction. It’s not bad to want leaders. Leaders can be a gift from God unless the desire for a leader is born out of one of the following reasons:

Spiritual laziness (sorry I know this one is harsh)-

God wants all people to seek Him. Once a person gets into relationship with God then He wants His people to want an intimate relationship with Him. One aspect of relationship with God is giving God the praise and honor He deserves (worship). However, another critical aspect of relationship with God is asking Him about stuff. God wants us to get into the Bible and learn it.  He also wants us to ask Him for wisdom and insight into our problems and struggles. When we do these things, we get to know God better and it gives invaluable insight into what we should and shouldn’t do in our particular set of circumstances. When we learn to do these things on a regular basis, it builds relationship with God, it increases our trust in God and it gives us the wisdom we need to do life well (Daniel 12:3, Psalm 37:29-31). Seeking God for ourselves does not end the need for human leadership but it does make us better able to lead ourselves because we are literally getting advice and guidance from the God of the universe. That being said, sometimes people don’t want to do the work necessary to build closeness with God, because it’s hard.

We have forgotten our faith journey is our own-

Every single human being will stand before the judgment seat of God ALONE (Matthew 25:14-29, 2nd Corinthians 5:10, Hebrews 9:27). We will not have a spouse or spiritual leader holding our hand for support or taking some of the heat (or praise) for our choices. We are all responsible before God for our own faith journey. This fact makes an overreliance on human leadership foolish at best. 

We don’t want to do the hard work of growth-

No wants to be wrong or make a bad decision. However, personal failure serves a valuable purpose. When we make a bad decision and take responsibility for the choice we grow and learn. When we humble ourselves after a failure, wisdom begins to take root in our hearts (Matthew 23:12, James 4:6-10). When we become overly dependent on human leaders for our spiritual direction, we rarely learn from the mistakes we see others making. Instead, we tend to become judgmental towards their failure and prideful about our own decision making (Matthew 7:1-3). This makes us dumb and lacking in compassion. Not good. It’s better to learn and grow from our own failures. 

The desire for good leadership is not always bad or sinful. Leaders serve a purpose (Hebrews 13:17). However, it is critical we understand Christianity was never meant to have a middleman. When Jesus died the veil in the Temple that separated the most holy place was torn in two, ripped from top to bottom (Matthew 27:51). This miraculous act signified the end of the middleman and the beginning of a time when all people could communicate with God and learn spiritual truth for themselves. When we are communing with and learning from God, we protect ourselves and those we love from the devastation of bad leaders.