Is it Stupid and Selfish to have Kids in such a Messed-up World?

You have set your glory in the heavens.Through the praise of children and infants
    you have established a stronghold against your enemies, to silence the foe and the avenger- Psalm 8:1b-2 NIV

In recent weeks I have come across a plethora of articles all with a shared theme. Each one features women and/or men who have either: 

  1. Chosen not to have children. These folks universally feel really awesome about their decision and think everyone should do the same.

Or 

  • Chosen to have children and wish they hadn’t.

These articles are not a once in a blue moon kind of a thing. Hardly a day goes by when I don’t see a testimonial from someone who either wishes they had never had children or someone who is thrilled beyond words to be childless. Statistics prove this trend is not a figment of my imagination. In 2021 the birthrate fell by five percentage points to the lowest in a century. The birthrate continued to drop in 2022. The 2023 birthrate appears to be on track for another drop.

There are a couple of things that trouble me about this development.  First of all, our willingness as a society to allow these articles to be published reveals a disquieting approval of both callous and narcissistic behavior.  I, for one, cannot imagine the deep personal trauma I would have experienced if I had just happened to find an article written by my mother all about how giving birth to me was her supreme regret in life. I do not think I am extraordinarily sensitive to feel this way. In a culture obsessed with personal trauma, one would think there would be an understanding that these feelings (as real and valid as they may be) should never be made public or spoken of within earshot of the child. Period. 

Furthermore, parenthood is an onramp to adulthood that causes human beings to think deeply about issues outside themselves. When a young person becomes a parent, all of a sudden they begin to care a great deal about how their beliefs, political views, relational interactions and spending habits will affect future generations. I cannot help but wonder: if a majority are no longer having children will most of society stay stuck in a state of perpetual adolescence? Will enough people be capable of thinking about future generations to keep society from spiraling out of control? Seriously. This is real stuff we should think about. 

There are some practical reasons for this trend. 

The economy sucks. Life is far more expensive than at any point in my lifetime. Many large corporations have become greedy (James 5:4, Malachi 3:5). They are cutting back on employees and expecting the remaining employees to work harder and smarter for less money and fewer benefits. Inflation has made it nearly impossible for a family to survive on one income. The cost of housing in many areas makes it difficult to survive on even a “decent” salary. 

Those issues combined with higher societal expectations about what constitutes “being comfortable” and “financial stability” has made childlessness more attractive to many people. Others have delayed marriage to focus on educational and career goals, or because they have struggled to find a suitable partner. There is without question an expiration date on female fertility. Postponing childbearing will mean childlessness for some people. Additionally, people have become much more self-focused. Taking care of the needs of others and acting selflessly are thought to be at best, a bit silly, and at worst a sign of mental illness. Self-care, me-time and cutting toxic people out of our lives are believed to be the apex of good emotional health. Unfortunately, kids (especially young kids) are naturally kind of toxic (Proverbs 24:15, Proverbs 29:15). Furthermore, me-time is in short supply in the early years of childhood. In a civilization where selfishness is thought to be a virtue a falling birthrate is almost inevitable. 

 There is a spiritual reason as well. 

Christianity teaches every human life is sacred. Humans, regardless of age, social status or physical health are to be cherished and cared for because human beings are made in the image of God. Without the imago deo life is only sacred if we want it to be sacred.  Without the imago deo all of a sudden “being human” is a terrible thing. After all, humans are draining, they use resources and sometimes they just kind of suck. This reality makes procreation a selfish act rather than obedience to the command to “be fruitful and increase in number” (Genesis 1:28). As a result, the earth becomes more important than the people on it. One of the weirder consequences of this belief system is the insistence humans do dehumanizing things in order to atone for their humanness. This is one reason why there is a demand for people to live in smaller, less comfortable conditions and eat bugs. Many believe humans are bad. Therefore, humans should be punished for being human.  Humans should live in cramped apartments, never experience the joy of parenthood, feast on creepy-crawlies and be happy about it.

Unfortunately, the anti-kid movement will only worsen the condition of our world. It will make people more selfish, less future focused and increase depression. Christians can help change this trend by celebrating children, making family a priority and flat refusing to jump on the “kids are bad” bandwagon. As we choose to live obediently to Scripture the world will see a quality of life in Christianity that will make them thirst for “The Living Water” (John 4:1-24) and giver of life.

Are God’s Blessing Something we Should Expect just Because We’re Christians?

The one who has clean hands and a pure heart, who does not trust in an idol or swear by a false god.  They will receive blessing from the Lord and vindication from God their Savior- Psalm 24:4-5 NIV 

Recently, I attended a large multi-church gathering where we sang The Blessing by Kari Jobe. The Blessing is a lovely song. Most of the lyrics are taken directly from the priestly blessing given to Moses in Numbers 6:22-26. It’s a song that tends to hit in a very emotional way, especially in a large gathering. We all want God’s blessing for ourselves and the people we love, and our Christian culture teaches us to simply expect God’s blessings. 

But should we?  

 Ever since that service I have wrestled with questions concerning God’s blessing. Some of those questions include: 

Should Christians automatically expect to be blessed by God?  

What do God’s blessings look like? 

Are there strings attached to God’s blessings?  

How do we position ourselves to receive God’s blessing? 

After some thinking and praying and digging through Scripture, I still don’t know if I’m any closer to having all the answers. However, I do have some thoughts on the subject.  

Okay, so. 

Relationship with God is the big win in the hierarchy of blessings. If a person has that they are already ahead of the game. The mere notion that the almighty, all-knowing, maker of heaven and earth would want a friendship with a mere mortal is, well, mind blowing and super cool (Acts 2:38-39, Romans 5:8, James 2:23, Psalm 25:14).  

 So. It’s reasonable to assume anyone who has a relationship with God is blessed by God simply by nature of their relationship with God. Knowing one’s eternal destiny is secure is a very big deal and huge blessing. But, what about the other stuff? Does God shower blessings on certain people for particular reasons? Are all the other blessings a given because we are Christians? 

 Before we go there I think its super helpful to define what a “blessing” is and isn’t.  

Most of us tend to define blessings purely in materialistic terms.  However, the Bible teaches blessings are about more than just stuff. After all, here are oodles of godless heathens who get lucky and or make wise choices with their life and finances. As a result, sometimes godless heathens end up with an abundance of possessions and really big bank accounts. There is zero evidence anywhere in the Bible God blesses godless heathens in a special way. So, it’s safe to assume the number of homes a person owns or the size of their personal bank account are not necessarily an indicator of God’s favor. However, those things can be a sign of smart choices.  

The greatest blessings in life have little to do with an abundance of cash or material possessions. Once our basic physical needs for food and shelter are met the most important things in life are a healthy family, a clean conscience, personal safety, inner peace, joy, rest from striving and meaningful friendships (Psalm 29:11, Psalm 127:4-5, Proverbs 17:17, Proverbs 18:24, Psalm 24;3-5, Hebrews 9:14.

 Here’s the thing though: 

 God does not dump that goody bag of blessings in a person’s lap just because they happen to be one of His own. In both the Old and New Testaments God’s blessings are almost always conditional (Matthew 3:10, Matthew 7:19, Luke 6:35-38, Romans 2:6-8, Galatians 6:7-10). Anytime the Bible gives a do this get that formula, God is placing a condition on receiving the blessing (Leviticus 26:1-46, Exodus 19:5, Philippians 4:4-9). There are a too many of those formulas in the Bible to dismiss out of hand.  

  In Hebrews chapter six the writer gives this short parable about two different kinds of land that’s really just a metaphor for people and how different kinds of people respond to God. Context matters a great deal in this passage. The parable immediately follows a long and rather chilling discourse encouraging Christians to stop sinning, mature in Christ and make the most of their salvation (Hebrews 5:11-6:6).  The writer concludes the teaching by saying there is a kind of land (person) who takes in what God provides and produces a crop. That land (person) is blessed by God with all the things that really matter (peace, a clean conscience, joy, etc.). The other type of land gets all the same stuff as the neighboring land but produces nothing but thorns, thistles and trouble. That land is destined to be burned (John 14:23, 1 Peter 4:17, 1st Corinthians 5:9-11).  

Yikes.  

Thankfully. The writer of Hebrews is supremely confident there are much better things are in store for God’s people than trouble, pain and an absence of blessing (Hebrews 6:9-11). Getting those better things depends entirely on how we choose to position ourselves. God loves His people. A lot. If we have placed our faith in Jesus we have the blessing of salvation and that’s a very good thing and a big deal. The other blessings (joy, peace, freedom from striving, a clean conscience, etc.) come as a result of obedience to Jesus.    

It’s not difficult to position ourselves for blessing (Matthew 11:30, 1st John 5:3). God is not a giant meanie who requires perfection from His followers. All it takes to get the good things in life: peace, joy, a clean conscience and healthy relationships is a heart turned toward God, a willingness to confess sin and desire to be obedient to our calling as Christians. 

If we do those things God will bless us in abundance.  

How do we Survive and even Thrive in the face of Tyranny or Persecution?

 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong- 2nd Corinthians 12:11 NIV 

Daniel chapter three opens with a exhibition of unbridled narcissism.  After hearing how awesome he was (Daniel 2:37-38). King Nebuchadnezzar decided to declare himself a god and have a massive statue created in his image (Romans 1:25). When his project was complete he threw a dedication party and commanded all the leaders in Babylon attend.  (Daniel 3:1-3).  The attendees were instructed to bow down and worship the statue anytime the music played. 

In classic Nebuchadnezzar fashion he informed the crowd that if anyone, for any reason, failed to worship the monument to his own awesomeness he would have them thrown into a blazing hot furnace (Daniel 3:4-6). Posthaste. Three Jews, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego stubbornly refused to get on board. It didn’t take long for one of the court sycophants to take notice and rat them out to the king. 

Nebuchadnezzar was not accustomed to being told “no”. Their refusal enraged him. He had the three men be brought before him and gave them one more chance to submit or face the consequences. 

They chose the consequences. 

But not before, making perhaps, the most beautiful statements of faith found anywhere in all the Bible (Daniel 3:16-18). Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego flatly refused to submit to an idolatrous act, defend themselves, or beg for mercy. Rather, they calmly informed the king they believed their God did indeed have the power to save them. They also conceded God might choose NOT to save them. Either way there was zero chance they were going to be bowing down to his silly statue. Period.  

God did save them.  

Spectacularly.  

Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego were bound with ropes and thrown into a furnace so blazing hot it killed the men tasked with executing them. When Nebuchadnezzar looked in on the men, not only were they alive and well, there was also a fourth man walking in the furnace with them. It is commonly believed the fourth man in the fire was the pre-incarnate Jesus. The God of the universe was so pleased with their loyalty and obedience He got into the fire with them. They walked out of hell without so much as the smell of smoke on them. 

Dang. 

In the face of the worst kind of pressure these three young Hebrews retained their composure, fidelity to God and faith in God’s goodness. 

It’s a great story.

However, it’s more than a story. It’s also a bit of a sneak peek into future events. (Revelation 13:1-8, Matthew 24:15).  The Bible predicts that as the end of this age approaches, society and the people in it, will become scarier, less open to truth, more immoral and much more lawless (2nd Timothy 4:3, 2nd Timothy 3:1-5, 2nd Thessalonians 2:1-7, Matthew 24:1-25). All that will result in tyranny and intense persecution of anyone who refuses to worship the gods of this world. 

Christians are told to watch for signs of these times (Mark 13:34, 1st Peter 4:7). 

Our world is becoming more lawless and corrupt all the time. Barring a massive revival life will only get tougher for God’s people as the world continues to wind down (Daniel 7:21-22, Daniel 12:1, Matthew 24:9-13).  Christians should always be ready for persecution and trouble.  Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego were prepared for spiritually challenging times. Each was able to maintain their loyalty to God in the midst of the worst kind of oppression and cruelty because they did four essential things:

They knew God intimately and were familiar with His word-

The law (Bible) was their true north (Psalm 119). Their understanding of the law gave them knowledge about God that fueled their love for God. Knowing God, His word and how fiercely they were loved by God (Isaiah 49:15-16) kept them spiritually resilient in literally the toughest of situations. 

They were intentional about forming community-

From day one Shadrach, Meshach, Abednego and Daniel resolutely pursued community and the accountability community provides (Daniel 2:17-18). The strength they derived from their little community empowered them to resist the pressure to adapt to the Babylonian way of life. When the going got tough they had each other and that was often enough to keep them from caving to the enormous pressure to take the easy way out of a hard set of circumstances (Daniel 3). 

They decided ahead of time where the lines would be drawn-

Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego knew the time to prepare for persecution is not when it starts. We prepare for persecution by building our spiritual strength slowly over time. Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego committed from day to saying “no” to the worldly temptations that would normalize sin that were so prevalent in Babylon (Daniel 1:6-21, Colossians 2:8, 1st Peter 4:12. 1st John 13:13, Titus 2:11-12). Because they went into their situation expecting persecution they were not spiritually disillusioned or confused about where God was in their situation.

And finally. 

Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, believed with all their hearts that losing their lives (dying) would gain them something infinitely better. None of them were hung up on hanging onto the things of this world (Matthew 10:39). Their theology of heaven empowered them to walk through hell here on earth. 

We are no different from Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego.

 We have everything we need to survive and thrive even the worst the world throws at us when we choose intimacy with the Father, Christian community, obedience and belief in a better future with Jesus.

The Inevitable Outcome of Self-Aggrandizement and Self-Worship-

The mouth speaks what the heart is full of. A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him- Matthew 12:33-34 NIV

Daniel chapter two records in the second year of his reign King Nebuchadnezzar had a dream that left him so unsettled he could not sleep (Daniel 2:1). 

So.

Nebuchadnezzar called for his crew of magicians, enchanters, sorcerers and astrologers to unravel the meaning of his dream.

It’s important to note at this point that King Nebuchadnezzar was what we would call a “toxic leader” and a “flaming narcissist” So, in classic toxic narcissistic leader fashion, Nebuchadnezzar decided it was not enough for his crew of magicians, enchanters, sorcerers and astrologers to simply give him a reasonable interpretation of his dream. Instead the king went a step further and insisted the enchanters and astrologers tell him ALL the details of his dream BEFORE giving the interpretation. Nebuchadnezzar then vowed (in classic toxic leader fashion) that if, for whatever reason, his court magicians could not do what he required he would have them cut into pieces and their houses turned into piles of rubble (Daniel 2:2-6) 

Yikes.

 The court magicians were unable to do what he wanted. Mostly, because what he wanted was crazy. 

However.

 Nebuchadnezzar was a man of his word. So, when his wise men failed at their assigned task he sent his right-hand man Arioch to the nether regions of Babylon to round up all of the wise men throughout the entire kingdom and have them executed (Daniel 2:7-12). 

When Daniel got wind of Nebuchadnezzar’s plans he did what Daniel did anytime life got scary and he was afraid or worried or uncertain. He prayed. Then he enlisted other believers to pray with him (Daniel 2:17-18, Daniel 6:11-13, Daniel 9:1-4, Daniel 9:20) The answers came quickly and miraculously (Daniel 2:19).  There was simply no way anyone could have told another person exactly what they dreamed without the aid of Almighty God. 

Turns out, the dream was strange and would have been unsettling to anyone. 

It centered around a magnificent statue that held the key to understanding the future empires of human history (Daniel 2:31-35). The statue had a head of gold (the Babylonian empire) a chest of silver (the Medo-Persia-Greek empires) legs of iron (the Roman empire) and feet with toes of iron and clay. There’s some disagreement on the meaning of the toes and feet. In my humble opinion the feet and toes represent democratic forms of government that will continue to exist until the return of Jesus. Another key feature of the dream was a rock (Jesus) that grew into a huge mountain (God’s kingdom) that eventually took over all the kingdoms of the earth (the future coming of Jesus).

When Daniel was done explaining the details of the dream he informed the king his Kingdom (Babylon) was the head of gold and therefore the premier kingdom of all the kingdoms. He went on to explain that (Nebuchadnezzar) had been gifted by the one true God with supernatural abilities to lead well. Thanks to God’s generosity and kindness Nebuchadnezzar was in effect the best and most gifted human leader ever (Daniel 2:36-38).

Nebuchadnezzar’s response to this news was disturbing. 

He was not curious about this God. Nor, was he thankful. He did not respond with humility at being chosen for this task and gifted in such a magnificent manner. Instead he started out worshipping the messenger (Daniel 2:46) then gave God some surfacy praise (Daniel 2:47).

Then in Daniel 3:1-6 the real Nebuchadnezzar comes out. 

Apparently he decided that the proper response to God declaring him to be especially special was to demand everyone on earth worship him. He had a statue constructed (apparently in his own image) and insisted everyone in his kingdom worship it (and him) at regular intervals. 

Here’s the thing:

Nebuchadnezzar made the classic Romans one error all humans are still prone to make. The whole messy muddle got a foothold in his life when he willfully refused accept the evidence for God that was literally right in front of him. Refusing to acknowledge God naturally led to refusing to give God glory. Refusing to give God His rightful due led to idolatry. Unfortunately, like a lot of modern humans Nebuchadnezzar’s idol of choice was himself. Self-worship is the act of making your dreams, desires and preferences the focus of your life and demanding everyone else do the same. A person who has become entangled in the sin of self-worship believes they are entitled to what they want, they are always right, the end always justifies the means and that no one, but no one, including God Himself has the right to tell them “no” or that something they want is unacceptable. 

We live in a culture where self-worship is the religion of choice. 

It is considered emotionally unhealthy to put another person’s needs before one’s own (Philippians 2:.3-4). Experts tell us any relationship is disposable if it becomes troublesome in any way (Proverbs 17:17, proverbs 27:10). It is now horrifically common for mothers to admit online they wish their children had never been born (Psalm 127:5). Even biology must bow to human whims. We no longer accept DNA or genitalia as the final answer in the whole gender debate. (Genesis 1:27) It’s all about me. Commitment, friendship, loyalty and even reality be damned. 

It’s all about me, me, me. 

Romans one promises that rejecting God and embracing self-worship turns people made in the image of God into fools (Daniel 4). Sad parodies of who they could have been, people who inevitably hurt others, degrade themselves and ultimately run the risk of sinning themselves into extinction (Romans 1:18-32). 

It’s kind of where we’re living right now as a culture. 

That means it’s critical at this juncture in history individual Christians determine to be like Daniel: God-seeking, God-focused, self-aware and led by truth.  When God’s people do those things we become anchors of truth in an age of uncertainty and insanity. 

How to Avoid Getting “Hooked” in a Culture That’s far from God

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will- Romans 12:2 NIV

Daniel and his friends were likely all in their mid-teens teens when they arrived in Babylon (Daniel 1:1-4). Each captive was immediately confronted with a choice (Daniel 1:5-8) upon arrival.

Like so many choices in this life, the choice was a surfacy, symbolic choice masking the real, much harder choice the captives were faced with. The immediate choice they were confronted with was whether or not to eat the food they were given. There were at least four really good reasons for them to just go ahead and eat the food:

It was tasty.

There weren’t a lot of other options.

It was offensive not to eat it. 

It was weird for them not to eat the food. 

There were also some solid spiritual reasons to refuse the food. The meat and wine while tasty, had all been offered to Babylonian gods.  Eating food offered to an idol was a means of communing with and worshipping that god.  Furthermore, none of the meat met Jewish dietary requirements and was unclean. Eating the food would violate all sorts of Levitical dietary laws. 

However. 

It wouldn’t have been difficult to make a fairly decent argument for compromising on this issue. They were far from home in a foreign land. None of them would be going home in their lifetimes. (Jeremiah 25:1-14). Moreover, it’s not as if they could just run down to the local Kroger and pick up a few things from the Kosher section to tide them over until the training program came to an end. 

However.

The food wasn’t about the food, not really. Whether or not to eat the food was a surfacy, choice masking a much more critical choice. The captives had to decide whether or not they were going to conform to culture of the Babylonians (Romans 12:2, Leviticus 20:23, Deuteronomy 12:30-31).

Daniel wisely understood the real purpose of the food.  The food was a hook the Babylonians used to make the captives comfortable with all things Babylonian.  King Nebuchadnezzar’s ultimate aim was to convert the Jewish captives into loyal Babylonians.  The food was the first step in a process intended to make the Hebrew captives loyal to the Babylonian gods, Babylonian values and the Babylonian way of life.  

Daniel knew if the captives allowed themselves to become comfortable with that one aspect of Babylonian culture it would be a quick hop, skip and jump to becoming full-fledged and entirely loyal citizens of Babylon. 

It was a practice known as “friendly captivity” and it was incredibly successful most of the time.  The king (in this case Nebuchadnezzar) would conquer a country and take the best and brightest of those captives back to the court. Then he would find pleasant ways to make them comfortable with the culture. Once fully integrated to the society the best and brightest would in turn encourage the less prominent captives to accept their fate and integrate into the cultural system of their captivity.  

It was a rather clever way to grow a kingdom.

 Daniel and his friends refused. They weren’t rude, confrontive or disrespectful. Instead they enlisted the help of the overseer and found another way. Three extraordinary things took place ONLY BECAUSE the boys refused to conform to the culture:

The boys thrived physically, psychologically and spiritually in a hostile environment (Daniel 1:14)

God gifted the boys with supernatural levels of knowledge and wisdom (Daniel 1:15-17). 

The captives impacted both the culture and the people of Babylon for their God (Daniel 4:1-37)

Here’s the thing:

Our world belongs to our God (Genesis 1, Psalm 19). Nonetheless, at this point in time, our world and most of the people in it, are currently firmly under the control of Satan (Matthew 4:8, Ephesians 2:1-3, Ephesians 6:12, Romans 16:20, 1st John 5:19). Satan’s aim is to take as many people to hell as possible. However, if someone places their faith in Jesus they totally avoid that fate (Ephesians 2:1-10, John 3:16-17, 2nd Corinthians 4:14, Acts 2:21). God is redeeming the world through His son Jesus.

That being said.

Satan can take even redeemed people captive to do his will (Ephesians 4:27, Ephesians 6:11, 1st Timothy 3:7, 1stPeter 5:8). He uses “hooks’ to do it. Just like Nebuchadnezzar did. The hooks make us more comfortable with the worldly ideas, worldly pleasures and worldly pursuits. If a person gets comfortable enough with the world they eventually, over a period of time conform to the culture without even realizing they’ve been taken captive. 

Because we live in a culture that’s under the control of Satan it’s imperative Christians are intentional about avoiding the hooks so prevalent in our culture.   

 Satan wants everyone to live their lives in captivity to sin and spiritual bondage.  Sexual immorality, depravity, lust for power, greed, gluttony, self-reliance, addiction and covetousness are the places he wants to take us (1stPeter 5:8). Bondage, darkness and despair are his endgame and his favorite hook these days is entertainment and media. Media pulls us in and slowly, overtime like the frog in the pot of water on a hot stove makes us more comfortable with the values, ideas and gods of our culture. Before long, the Bible feels unkind, insensitive, and antiquated and it just makes sense to soften the moral commands of Jesus. We eventually lose our saltiness and the distinctions between how we live and how the world lives are trivial (Matthew 5:13-14). 

However. 

When we wisely choose to limit our exposure to the hooks of Satan (like Daniel did) we too, thrive in a hostile culture. God gifts us with supernatural insight and we spread the influence of the gospel in our own dark culture and we get the high and holy honor of being a critical part of God’s redemption process in this world (Matthew 28:19-20). 

What Does Walking in Truth Look Like?

It gave me great joy when some believers came and testified about your faithfulness to the truth, telling how you continue to walk in it- 3rd John 1:3 NIV

There has been a debate raging in Christianity for over five-hundred-years. 

The debate is all about what Christianity is all about. 

There are those who argue passionately that Christianity is all about BEING rather than DOING Galatians 2:17-21, Ephesians 2:8-9, Acts 16:31, John 10:28). The be-ers believe Christianity is more about identity than action or activity. They argue that once a person is in Christ (saved by grace through faith) that’s it, they’re done. There’s nothing left to do. This group believes attempts at “doing” are a waste of time and may even create an unhealthy pride in our “Christian achievements”.

Conversely: 

Modern-day doers also all agree Christians are saved by faith. To my knowledge there are no mainstream Christians openly promoting an “earn your own salvation” theology. 

That said.

 The doers feel sanctification (becoming holy) is more of a process than an event. Therefore, they believe Christians should do things that mold us into the image of Jesus. The doers believe if a person doesn’t want to “do Christian things” then their salvation probably isn’t the real deal (Philippians 2:12, Hebrews 6:1-11, 2nd Peter 1:5-9, Colossians 3).  The doers believe faith without works is a form of fire insurance which may or may not be operative when it’s time to cash in the policy (Matthew 7:22-23, James 2:14-19)

This is one of those rare situations where everyone is sort of right. We are saved by faith. No one earns their way to heaven. Jesus did the work for us. Any attempts on our part to earn our salvation are an offense to God because when we insist on earning our own way we are, in effect, rejecting God, His verdict that we can’t do it without Him and His generous offer of a free gift of salvation all at the same time (Isaiah 64:6, Ephesians 2:1-9)

Yikes. 

  In that sense salvation is a one and done. However, Christianity is, at its core, a long process of transformation and growth that prepares us for whatever it is God has planned for us in eternity (Ephesians 2:10, John 8:12, Romans 12:2, 2nd Corinthians 3:18). Spiritual growth and transformation will not happen without some effort on our part (Ephesians 4:20-32, Colossians 3, 2nd Peter 1:5-10, 2nd Peter 3:14).  

This means there really are things God wants us to do. 

These things are “the what’s of the faith”. The “what’s” aren’t about getting saved— they’re about becoming like Jesus, so that we can glorify Jesus, represent God well, be a preserving influence in the culture and bring others to faith in Jesus (Matthew 28:18-20) 

One of those “what’s” that is often dismissed as irrelevant in our Christian culture is the what of walking in truth (Psalm 15:2, 1st John 1:5-7, 2nd John 1:1-4, 3rd John 1:2-4). 

Walking in truth is critical because God is not only the ultimate decider of truth, He IS truth (Psalm 25:5, Jeremiah 7:28, John 4:24, Romans 2:2). When God’s people don’t walk in truth there is no clear witness of truth in our fallen world. The lack of witness causes Gods presence to be hidden from the world. This makes it difficult for people to find God (Luke 18:27).  It also causes believers and unbelievers to be taken captive by all sorts of strange notions regarding gender, what makes people happy, sexuality, parenting and even the nature of reality (Colossians 2:8). 

It’s kind of where we’re living right now. 

The most basic facet of walking in truth is integrity and honesty (Exodus 20:16). That said, integrity encompasses more than “not lying”. There are at least a million ways to be deceitful, dishonest and/or hypocritical and God hates them all. We can tell out-in-out lies, withhold critical information, make-up stories to feel important and spruce-up a true story to the point it no longer accurately represents reality.

Sigh.

 Being honest and truthful is good (Leviticus 19:11, Colossians 3:9). That being said, not lying really just the entry-level version of walking in truth that even the average heathen aspires to.

Fully walking in truth is impossible if we don’t know what’s actually true. 

Walking in truth means being firmly rooted in biblical truth. Because God IS truth His word is where we go to get the lowdown on how to live, love and operate successfully in this world (Psalm 119:1-176).  Unfortunately, few Christians actually hold a biblical world view. According to some super depressing research done by Barna Research and Summit Ministries only seventeen percent of American Christians and thirty-seven percent of American Pastors hold to a biblical world view (Hosea 4:6). 

Sigh.

This sad reality means we can’t get all our information about what the Bible says from anyone, even pastors. Christians must read the Bible for themselves (Acts 17:11). We must research the Bible and think about the Bible and pray the Holy Spirit will enlighten our minds and help us to further understand the Bible. We need to get into groups with other believers and open our Bible’s and find out what other Christians think about the Bible.  Then we must apply the truths of the Bible to our lives. 

When we do these things we walk in truth and the truth enables us live righteously, we are protected from Satan’s schemes (Ephesians 4:27, Ephesians 6:11, 1st Peter 5:8) and empowered to live out what’s real and true in world where truth has lost its voice (Isaiah 59:4, Isaiah 59:14)

The Small Things that Matter Most-

We dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory- 1st Thessalonians 2:11-12 NIV

There is some confusion over the “what” of Christianity.

The who is easy. The who is Jesus. Jesus is the beginning and end of all things (Revelation 1:4-8, Revelation 22:12).  Jesus is the one who redeems us and saves us and empowers us to become a brand-new creation completely free from the bondage of our past sin (Ephesians 1:7, Colossians 1:12-14, 2nd Corinthians 5:22). 

Without the “who” of Jesus there is no Christianity.

Most Christians are also pretty clued into “the why” of Christianity. People need Jesus because all people are hopeless sinners. We are such a hot-mess we routinely do wrong even when we really, really want to do right (Romans 7:21-25, Jeremiah 17:19). 

Sigh.

All humans need the redemption, salvation and wholeness only Jesus can offer.  Understanding the “why” of salvation is critical. We cannot even get saved until we understand our own sinfulness and the futility of attempting to save ourselves (Ephesians 2:8-9, Isaiah 64:6). 

The “how” of Christianity becomes clear once we understand the “who” and the “why”. We become Christians by placing our faith and trust in the death and resurrection of Jesus. Once that’s done we living a life of repentance and worship (John 3:36, Acts 13:28-40, Ephesians 1:13-14)

It’s that easy. 

It’s the “what” of Christianity many believers struggle with. A lot of Christians don’t really have a firm grasp on “what” God wants from them once they are a Christian.  This is partially due to bad doctrine; most Christians have heard a lot of sermons and read a surplus of books instructing them to do “big things” for God.  Anything less than “big” is small. Though it’s never said out loud we all get the message: big is good and small is a sad affront to God and a pointless waste of time.

Sigh.

I believe this whole philosophy of big is nothing more than a clever scheme of the enemy that keeps us from fulfilling our purpose as believers here on earth (2nd Corinthians 2:11, Ephesians 6:11). We have forgotten three critical truths: 

Little things done in the name of Jesus on a regular basis are big things as far as Jesus is concerned (Matthew 10:42, Matthew 25:31-46).

Little things are big things to the people around us who need to experience the love of Jesus through us (Romans 12:10, Romans 12:16, Romans 15:7, Galatians 5:13, Hebrews 3:13, Philippians 2:5, Ephesians 4:32)

Nowhere in Scripture does it say bigger is better.

Seriously.

Until we understand the “what” of Christianity we tend to feel spiritually purposeless and irrelevant to God’s plan for this world. This causes many to search for their significance in the secular realm. Secular pursuits are not wrong (for the most part). However, if they are not coupled with the “what’s” of the faith they will have no lasting impact on others—or eternity (1st Corinthians 3:10-15). One of God’s favorite “what’s” we tend to overlook in the church is the simple the act of comforting one another. 2nd Corinthians 1:3-4 says this: 

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.

One of our chief responsibilities (what’s) as Christians is to be a comfort to the hurting people God places in our sphere of influence. Anyone can do this—and we are literally the most like Jesus when we are actively seeking to comfort the brokenhearted (John 4, Luke 7:11-13, Matthew 9:36, Matthew 14:14, Mark 6:34, John 11). Furthermore, comforting others is a powerful way to connect unbelievers with the heart of Jesus. 

There are three things that get in the way of success in this area:  

We don’t want to get involved in another person’s stuff-

Comforting people means choosing awkwardness. Entering into the suffering and pain of others means we have to get close to people, hear stories that might make us feel uncomfortable, make judgment calls about right and wrong and just generally get kind of messy (Hebrews 10:34, 1st Corinthians 12:26). We live in a culture that prefers to keep pain at a distance and relationships neat, tidy and chaos free. Going deep into the weeds of someone else’s pain is not easy. Nor is it fun, but it is a command (Philippians 1:1-3). It is perhaps the single most critical aspect of being Jesus to others. Comforting the hurting is something God never wants us to shy away from (Romans 12:15). 

We have been conditioned to avoid strong emotion-

Hurting people are emotional by nature. Emotional people weep, rant endlessly about the unfairness of life and are just generally kind of irrational and illogical. Unfortunately, it has become trendy to classify even healthy displays of emotion as manifestations of mental illness. They’re not. Sometimes situations are so unjust and awful that it just makes perfect sense to “weep, mourn and wail” (Esther 4:3, Micah 1:8, Matthew 2:18). Anytime we feel uncomfortable with a strong show of human emotion we need to ask God to help us to adjust our thinking in a way that empowers us to help those struggling rather than avoid or shame people for expressing their pain.

We’re time hoarders-

Comforting others always requires a time commitment on our part and in our age of frenetic busyness we want to keep all our extra time for ourselves. But, here’s the thing: if we were all to cut out just a couple of hours of our television or scrolling the internet time we would have more than enough time for the people that need us to be Jesus to them.

Figuring out the “what’s” of our faith is critical to our spiritual health. When we know what we’re supposed to be all about we find personal fulfillment beyond our wildest dreams and we become the helpers our world needs.

What Does it Really Mean to Surrender Something or Someone to God?

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight- Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV

Surrender.

One definition for surrender would be:

 The act of giving something up completely or letting go of control of an outcome. 

Some synonyms for surrender include: submission, relinquish, capitulation, yield and forfeit. 

For the record: surrender is not on the list of my favorite words. 

Seriously.

Surrender sucks.

Surrendering ourselves, our desires, our behaviors, our dreams, our loved ones or the outcome of situations to God is one of the hardest things God asks us to do as Christians (James 4:1-7, Luke 11:28). 

There is typically some confusion around the differences between making a commitment and surrendering.  Both are agreements we make with God but they are entirely different in their nature. When we make a commitment to something we naturally assume we will have some control over the process. We also assume we will able to take personal pride in a positive outcome.  In surrender we relinquish complete control of the process to God and He gets all the glory for a good outcome (Psalm 32:8-10). Commitments always have an exit strategy if the process becomes too painful or the personal difficulties become too much to bear. 

Surrendering our sin or someone we love to God means we concede we have reached the end of our ability to fix, manage or deal with the problem on our own. In surrender we get real and acknowledge we cannot change anything or anyone in our own power— no matter how desperately we might want to. We recognize the hard (and painful) truth we simply cannot make anyone do anything. We need God to do whatever needs to be done in us or our loved one or it’s just not happening.

Sigh. 

Because we are all gifted with freewill—and sinful to the core (Joshua 24:15, 1st Peter 4:3, Ephesians 2:1, 1st John 1:9-10, Psalm 32:5, Psalm 51:5) surrender is always painful and hard— regardless of how long we have known and walked with the Lord. Additionally, because, we are by nature a bunch of control freaks, surrender is rarely a one and done. Typically, we have to take the habit, person, situation or sin to God over and over again until the battle is won.

Surrender looks different in different situations.

For some it might mean letting God work in the life of a loved one without running in and lecturing, making excuses for their behavior or enabling their sinful lifestyle. For others surrender means choosing to do something God’s way even when God’s way literally makes no sense (Judges 7, Joshua 6, Matthew 6:25-34, Acts 9:1-17).  For others it means finally being willing to let go of a life controlling habit or sinful coping mechanism even when we don’t know how we will survive without the comfort it provides.  

Surrender is always about trust and trust is universally hard for humans. This makes the choice to surrender our wants, needs, habits and loved ones to God painful and tough. Really tough (Hebrews 12:4, 1st Corinthians 10:13). All that being said, surrender comes with benefits and blessings we literally cannot get any other way.  Some of those benefits include:

Surrender forms deep connection with God- 

It is totally possible for a person to attend church, read the Bible regularly and live the life of a Christian without ever really connecting with God on an intimate level. People do it all the time. Surrender forces us to acknowledge there are simply some things we cannot do without God’s help. This naturally makes us more dependent on God, but it does more than just that. When we surrender we come face-to-face with how weak and frail we really are (2nd Corinthians 12:9). This knowledge drives us to pray about everything and prayer is the ONLY way to build authentic connection and real intimacy with God (Genesis 5:24, James 2:23). The joy, peace and wellbeing we derive from intimacy with God is alone worth the pain of surrender. 

When we surrender we are given a super natural source of wisdom- 

Surrender means we give up and hand control over to God. This act forces us to seek God for wisdom and understanding into our problems instead of leaning on our own limited understanding to problem solve (Proverbs 3:5-6). When we ask God for wisdom rather than simply asking Him to bless whatever plans and ideas we worked out on our own He blesses us with the inside scoop on how to deal with people appropriately and problem solve seemingly unsolvable problems (Matthew 7:7-8, James 1:5). The wisdom we gain in surrender gives us power to live every part of our lives victoriously.

We (eventually) get the joy that comes with victory over our flesh-

Giving up control is profoundly unpleasant.  Nobody likes giving up or giving in and essentially admitting failure. Nonetheless, it is the only way to overcome certain sins, bad habits and life-controlling behaviors. There are simply some things we can never do on our own. That said, the joy we experience when it finally dawns on us that we no longer feel any desire or compulsion to indulge in the garbage that was ruining our lives is totally worth the cost to our pride. 

And finally:

In surrender we gain real freedom. Surrender frees us from the need to control the outcome, our fleshly desires, our control freak tendencies and our pride. When we are free of those things we are free indeed. 

Why is God Sometimes Silent?

The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may follow all the words of this law- Deuteronomy 29:29 NIV 

Okay. I’m going to get really real for just a minute and say the quiet part out loud.

Sometimes God feels distant. Really distant.

Like radio silence distant.

This sensation can get emotionally and spiritually messy really quickly because we derive comfort, peace and security from knowing God sees our needs and hears our cries (Psalm 61:1-3, Psalm 28:2). Whether it’s through answered prayer, a Bible passage that speaks to our situation or a still small voice that guides us through the complexities of life, anyone who really loves God wants to hear from God (Psalm 63:1, John 10:27).

This is even more true when the going gets tough and life gets challenging, uncertain or just plain hard and sucky.  Radio silence in these moments is beyond discouraging. It can challenge our belief God is good. (Psalm 13:1-6, Psalm 42:9, Psalm 43:2, Psalm 22:1).  It just gets worse when we feel like we are doing our level best to keep the lines of communication open and still—nothing, zero, nada. That still small voice that guides and directs our steps is painfully quiet. 

Sigh. 

Nothing is gained and much is lost anytime we give into the very human temptation to give up our faith, get angry or place all of the blame on God in these moments, nor should we turn to sin or worldly ways of coping to fill our empty places, dull our pain or relieve our frustration in these seasons.  The best thing we can do when we feel God is far away is to keep our hearts open and use our situation as the jumping off place for some self-examination and perhaps a change of approach. There are a whole bunch of really good reasons why we don’t feel the presence of God or hear His still small voice, some of those are: 

We don’t want to- 

Sometimes we think we want to hear from God but we don’t. Not really—mostly because deep down in our heart-of-hearts we have a niggling little hunch God might just have something to say to us we have zero interest in hearing.  Most of us have been guilty at some point of desperately wanting to hear from God in one area of our lives while we entertain some ugly sin in another area of our lives. Truth-be-told God usually addresses the sin that’s holding back our spiritual growth before He blesses us with a clear direction or a deep sense of spiritual peace (Hebrews 12:1-2). It’s critical we remember no sin is worth stunting our spiritual growth over or shutting down communication with the God of the universe (Matthew 5:30, 1st Corinthians 15:34). It’s just not.   

We do and we don’t like what he says- 

Alas, we are all human, and sadly, one aspect of being human is an inclination towards moments of stupidity, willful blindness and obstinacy. Sometimes we do hear from God and we don’t like what He has to say so we ignore Him (Hebrews 12:25). Typically, what happens in these situations is God wants us to forgive someone we don’t want to forgive (Matthew 6:15, Ephesians 4:31, Hebrews 12:15), or He wants us to repair a relationship that would be personally embarrassing for us to deal with. Other times God wants us to look at our own actions in a situation where we have chosen to lay the blame on the actions or attitude of the other guy. Whatever the case may be, it is always in our best interests to ask God if there is something we’re just not seeing when He feels far off.

We’re just too dang busy-

Okay, so this is a big one, because we have made busyness into badge of honor, an indication of righteousness and a weird little idol in our Christian culture. Busyness in none of those things. The Bible is clear, we are least likely to connect with God when we are spinning around in a flurry of over activity. Conversely, we are most likely to connect with Him when we slow down and seek Him in a spirit of quiet trust (Isaiah 30:15, Psalm 37:7, Psalm 46:10, Hebrews 4:1). Sometimes all we have to do to reconnect with God is take a day off from our striving and make Him our priority (Jeremiah 29:12-14).

We want to be in charge of how he communicates-

Most of the time God speaks through His word (the Bible) or in a still small voice that leaves an impression on our spirit that we should do or not do something (2nd Peter 1:3., 1st Kings 19:12). God rarely communicates verbally and when He speaks through other people it’s usually just them talking in a wise way that hits home with our situation (Matthew 10:20). It’s fairly rare for a person to get a bold prophetic proclamation that clears up all their confusion concerning a matter. As a general rule we should always look to the “normal ways” God communicates rather than expecting Him to be dramatic in His communication.

All that being said: 

 God is always with us even when we don’t feel His presence, hear His voice or understand what exactly is going on (Joshua 1:5, Psalm 91:3-4, Hebrews 13:5).  He never leaves us or forsakes us. God is always moving us towards the end goal of being more like Jesus and sometimes the road to that end is a bumpy one where we feel alone even when we’re not (1st Corinthians 15:49, 2nd Corinthians 3:18, Colossians 3:10). In those times must remind ourselves that God’s love never fails and He never walks away. 

Even when He’s quiet. 

The Engine that Powers Spiritual Warfare-

 Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus- 1stThessalonians 5:16-18 NIV

Most commentators and teachers agree there are a total of six weapons named in the “warfare passage” found in Ephesians six. 

I respectively oppose the conventional tally.

The traditional weapon count is: the belt of truth, breastplate of righteousness, shoes of the gospel of peace, shield of faith, helmet of salvation and the sword of the spirit (the Bible). 

In my humble opinion:

The Bible is not the final weapon listed in the passage. It is for sure not the end of Paul’s teaching on the subject of spiritual warfare. Verse eighteen begins with an “and”. Grammatically and practically speaking, “and” is never the end of the topic. It is always the continuation of the topic. 

 Here is the text of Ephesians 6:18-20:

And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should- Ephesians 6:18-20 NIV

 Prayer. 

Prayer the final weapon named in Paul’s instruction on spiritual warfare. If the sheer number of times prayer is mentioned is any indicator, and it probably is, then Pastor Paul believed prayer is pretty dang important (Romans 12:12, 1st Corinthians 7:5, Philippians 4:6, Colossians 4:2,1st Thessalonians 5:17). Nowhere is this truer than when it comes to spiritual warfare. 

The total number of times Paul mentions prayer in this particular context clues us into exactly how fundamental prayer is when it comes to dealing with the dark forces at work in our world (Daniel 10:7-21, Ephesians 6:10-13). Attempting to do battle on spiritual level without prayer is a fool hardy endeavor. Without prayer we lose connection with Jesus who is the spiritual head of the body of Christ (Colossians 2:18, Ephesians 1:22-23). When we lose connection with Jesus we have no one wiser or better leading us. We are forced to lean on our own understanding (Proverbs 3:5-6). Without a vital connection to Jesus our flesh takes over and we live in the natural rather than spiritual (Romans 1:26-32). When we are disconnected from Jesus spiritual discernment becomes impossible and wisdom is a pipe dream. Without the spiritual covering prayer provides we quickly become sitting ducks for the enemy. Satan is relentlessly searching for Christians wandering around without their armor on so he can deceive and devour them (John 8:44, 1st Peter 5:8) 

Yikes. 

Each piece of armor empowers Christians in some way. When we have the full armor on we walk in Spirit and are able to thwart the plans the enemy has for us. Walking in the spirit also empowers us protect and guide others on a spiritual level. In some cases, we are even able to snatch unsaved people from the fire (Jude 22-23). 

Here’s how it works: 

The belt of truth empowers us to know and understand what is true about ourselves, God and other people. The belt of truth protects our most vulnerable emotional, spiritual and psychological parts from the lies of the enemy. The simple act of putting on the breastplate of righteousness reminds us daily that even the best and brightest of humans have literally zero righteousness of their own (Isaiah 64:6).  However, the breastplate does more than remind us of our weakness. The breastplate empowers us to walk in step with Jesus so we can be like Jesus, think like Jesus and do the things Jesus did (Matthew 10:19, Matthew 17:20, Matthew 10:8). 

The shoes of the gospel of peace remind us sharing Jesus is our mission. It’s what we were made for (Matthew 28:16-20). The shoes empower us take the presence of Jesus and the word of God with us everywhere we go. The shield of faith enables us to remember who God is and what He is capable of –even when life is hard and our path feels dark and uncertain (Isaiah 64:5). This knowledge puts out Satan’s flaming arrows of doubt. Every. Single. Time. The helmet of salvation allows us to practice discernment so we can think like Christians in a world filled with hollow and deceptive philosophies intended to lead us away from simple faith in Jesus (Colossians 2:8). The word of God gives us the spiritual knowledge we need to live as productive members of God’s family. 

Here’s the bottom-line truth: 

Prayer is the engine that powers each piece of armor. Without regular prayer and the intimacy with Jesus that prayer provides, a Christian has no spiritual protection, no spiritual power, no practical holiness, no wisdom, no peace of mind and no spiritual discernment (Matthew 26:41, Mark 9:29.  Without intimate connection to the Almighty we will struggle to grow in our knowledge of God (Hebrews 5:12-14). 

We are a hot defenseless mess. 

And yet.  

Prayer is the spiritual discipline most believers neglect. The average Christian spends slightly LESS than three minutes a day in prayer. That means most of us are asking God to bless our food, our commute to work and maybe our kids. 

No wonder our lives lack power. 

If we want spiritual wisdom, victory over sin, protection from the enemy and to tear down spiritual strongholds we must pray (2nd Corinthians 10:4). It really is that simple. Pray. Just start. Go to Him and ask Him to show you who He is and who you are in Him. Ask Him to transform you.  Storm the gates of heaven with your requests and petitions for other people (Romans 12:12, Colossians 4:2, 1st Thessalonians 5:17).  

If you make a regular practice of prayer people and situations you never thought in a billion years could change will change. 

It’ll blow your mind. 

I promise.