They are conceited and understand nothing. They have an unhealthy interest in controversies and quarrels about words that result in envy, strife, malicious talk, evil suspicions and constant friction between people of corrupt mind~ 1^st Timothy 6:4-5a NIV

 One of the stranger blessings of growing older is we can look back in hindsight and identify exactly the exact moment a cultural transformation began to take place in society. 

 One of the transformations that has taken place over the course of my lifetime is our perspective on the subject of words and language. When I was a child no one really thought much about the rightness or wrongness of words. People just said what they felt was truthful and everybody was expected to get over any hurt feelings that ensued.

Kids in my generation were taught:

 “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me”

  In retrospect it was probably not the most sensitive or even truthful thing to teach to tender children. However, back in the day we were all a little thicker-skinned and the rhyme had the effect it was intended to have. Kids (and adults) mostly just ignored the insensitive, mean or stupid things that were said.

 There was a huge sea change in the late eighties and early nineties.

I distinctly remember a church service in my early twenties. The Pastor spoke about the consequences of words. He began by reciting the above-mentioned rhyme and declared that everything we had been taught about words as children was wrong. He made the totally true point that words do hurt and can leave lasting scars. He closed the sermon by encouraging us all to be mindful of our words because words are powerful and potentially hurtful.

I had never heard such a thing before in all my life. Seriously. It was all new news to me.

 It was just the beginning.

 All at once, there was what could only be described as a crusade to change the way people spoke and perceived language. Public service announcements were created on the dangers of harsh words and verbal abuse. Talk shows showcased people who were wounded by the cruel words of classmates and parents. Task forces were formed to end verbal bullying in schools. The government got involved and passed laws to end insensitive and/or sexually charged language in workplaces and schools.

 To be perfectly truthful, in the beginning I was all in with the collective sensitivity training and I still believe people should choose their words wisely. It’s simply not okay to intentionally wound others with stupid, harsh or cruel words (Proverbs 16:24, Proverbs 12:18, Proverbs 17:27). Verbal abuse and bigoted or sexist language is wrong and gross. Seriously. 

 However. 

 We have managed to take a good idea to a ridiculous and perilous place. Not only is it no longer okay say anything that is obviously insensitive, sexist or bigoted. It is no longer okay to say anything that might possibly hurt someone else’s feelings. This is the case even if what is being said is legitimately true and desperately needs to be said (Isaiah 59:14). Every word uttered is vigilantly scrutinized for obvious as well as incidental offense. Individuals, regardless of their maturity level get to decide for themselves what is hurtful. Therefore, anything can be, and oftentimes is construed as hurtful.

 Now we have a population of ignorant, narcissistic, panty-waisted crybabies who are so pre-occupied with the effects that other people’s words have on their feelings that they cannot function outside of their own carefully constructed safe-spaces. Not only is this quite clearly sad, it could easily be our downfall. A nation of self-indulgent crybabies cannot possibly remain a nation for long.

 Furthermore, it is no longer okay to say anything at all unless it makes everyone feel good about their choices. It does not matter how wrong or ridiculous those choices might be (Ephesians 4:15). Our absurd preoccupation with the rightness or wrongness of words has turned us into a nation of liars. We tolerate and even celebrate obvious insanity because we’re scared witless of being labeled “hateful”. We refuse to verbalize in public the truth we all speak about openly in private: that some things are simply wrong, stupid and detrimental to society.

 The real irony in all this madness is that our collective obsession with words has failed to make us better people. Our society is no kinder and no gentler than it was thirty years ago. Our speech is no more uplifting now than it was then. It could, in fact, be argued that our use of words is far cruder and meaner now than it has ever been.

Sigh.

This is a time for Christians to lead the way out of the madness by returning to a policy of speaking the truth in love. All the time, even when the truth stings a little (Proverbs 27:6).