I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned- Matthew 12:26-37 ESV
I feel like this post needs a bit of a disclaimer, so here goes:
I am not, nor have I ever been much of a rule maker. I truly believe laws are for lawbreakers (1st Timothy 1:9-11). Therefore, if people would just obey God and do what He tells us to do laws would be totally unnecessary and the world would be a better place. Because I believe that to be true, I try to mind my own business and let everyone else mind theirs. This is especially true when it comes to words. I do my level best not to police other people’s words. There are things I try really hard not to say (Exodus 20:7, Romans 1:29, Ephesians 4:29). However, I don’t force others to be like me.
Controlling other people’s words is for nincompoops and control freaks.
All that being said. I guess I could officially be labelled as a control freak nincompoop, because there are some phrases I am sick of hearing Christians say. I don’t love it when non-Christians use the same phrases. However, I do understand that Christians are not to force non-believers to live, think or talk like believers (1st Corinthians 5:12-13). Christians are commanded to teach truth, model love and live righteously so that non-believers become curious about our faith (1st Peter 3:15) and want to become believers. The words we use to matter and what we say ought to be in alignment with Scripture. The following four phrases are best-case-scenario, worldly and silly (1stJohn 2:15). Worst-case-scenario they are spiritually harmful to both hearer and sayer because they lead folks to believe things that have the potential to lead people to both a literal and a metaphorical hell. Those phrases are:
“Perception is reality”-
Perception is rarely reality. Perception is a weird mix of what we witness, what we feel and what we believe (Ephesians 5:6). An individual’s perception might be spot-on; it might be someplace in crazy town. Reality, on the hand is whatever actually took place. It’s the facts. No one gets their own unique little reality based entirely on their perceptions. It’s true that our life experiences and insights impact the way we see reality. However, healthy, sane, people should not be content to see the world through their fallible, unstable perception of events. It feels like kindness to allow someone’s faulty perceptions to be their reality (Proverbs 23:23), but it’s actually a form of cruelty. We must always strive to be kind, but we must also remember it is truth that sets people free and lies that hold people in bondage (John 8:32, Ephesians 4:15).
“Protecting my peace”-
People who say this one are almost always cutting someone out of their life and using peace as the reason to do so, usually without so much as a single attempt at real reconciliation (Matthew 5:23-24). Peace is a blessing. No healthy human chooses to forgo peace for conflict or disunity (Psalm 133:1). However, truth-be-told there are precious few human relationships that don’t include at least an element of conflict. Furthermore, nowhere in Scripture are we promised peace through any relationship except our relationship with Jesus Christ (John 16:33, Colossians 3:15, 2nd Peter 3:15). Nowhere in Scripture are Christians told to break off relationships simply for the sake of maintaining personal peace. On the contrary, Christians are called to make peace with one another (Romans 14:19). Peacemaking is as different from peacekeeping as apples are from orangutangs. Peacemaking is hard work because it almost always means wrestling through messy conflict and hurt feelings to get to a place where both parties are at peace (Matthew 5:9). Peacemaking is all about grace, forgiveness and loving people in spite of their imperfections, the same way Jesus loves us (Matthew 18:21-22, Romans 5:8, Hebrews 12:14).
“My truth”-
There is simply no such thing as “my truth” and “your truth”. No one gets a unique little truth to call their own because they are fond of the truth they invented. Truth is truth. Anything else is either a pack of filthy lies or an example of a human being trying to make God or His truth into a more palatable image. Christians must contend for the truth as given in Scripture (Psalm 25:5). We must also avoid the cultural tendency to believe we all get to construct our own truths about God and life based on how we wish things were (Isaiah 59:14-15).
And finally:
“My Jesus”-
When people use this phrase, they are almost always attempting to demonstrate kindness and grace to someone who is sinning their face off. They say my “my Jesus would be okay with that”. These folks have noble intentions and good hearts but a faulty understanding of grace, truth and what the Bible has to say about most issues (John 1:14-17, Titus 2:11-12). There’s one Jesus, the one presented in the New Testament. Jesus isn’t a chameleon who changes His decrees concerning right and wrong depending on who He’s hanging out with and how sorry He feels for them. Genuine love helps people caught in sin to get to know the biblical Jesus. Real love teaches the truth that leads people to a place of repentance rather than a place of feeling okay with sinful choices. That’s real kindness, real grace and authentic love and it’s what we are all called to.
