Tag: Personal growth

A How-to on Surviving, Thriving and Persevering through the the Worst Stuff of Life-

Lisa M. PriceLeave a comment

The testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing- James 1:3-4 NASB

God loves it when His people make the hard choice to persevere through the tough stuff of life.

Persevering through hardship, difficulty and injustice is incredibly unpleasant but it automatically causes good things happen in people. Enduring through the hurt of life builds emotional strength and develops grit in us. It causes us to lean on the Lord which causes us grow spiritually, makes us wiser and transforms us into the kind of people other people can learn from (Romans 5:3-5, James 1:2-5). It’s all good.

But.

These things are also really hard, because none of the experiences a person might have to persevere through are easy or fun (that’s why it’s called perseverance, sigh). Some of the hard things a person might have to endure are what I call “life in a fallen world” kinds of things, painful but random events we all experience at some point in our lives. Things like cancer, the death of a spouse, friend or child, accidents or financial calamities. Unfortunately, most of us will also have deal with what I call “people are crappy” sorts of experiences like religious persecution, being cheated on, being lied to or about, or being treated indifferently or with disdain by people who should care about our feelings.

Sigh.

Hard things naturally (and understandably) cause people to doubt the goodness, faithfulness and sometimes even the very existence of God. It is true that pain and difficulty can drive us towards God but hurt and struggle can also drive us away as well. The effect suffering has on us depends entirely on how we choose to respond to the crummy circumstances of life (1st Peter 15-6).  The good new is that there are actions we can take and attitudes we can adopt in the midst of our pain that will ensure pain, grief, trials, and difficulty make us better and more godly as opposed to bitter and more miserable.

Following are four of them:

Don’t blame God for the actions of people-

By far, the worst and most excruciating pain in life comes when we’re victimized or mistreated by people.  The pain of personal betrayal is compounded a million times over if the person who harmed us is a Christian. Sadly, it’s impossible to avoid being hurt by people because people, even Christian people, are at their core sinful and broken. For whatever reason, most of us lay the blame squarely on God when people hurt us. This is a huge tactical error. It is critical we understand that humans have free will and can do whatever they choose to do with their free will. They can even be horrible, sinful, disgusting people if they want to. It doesn’t mean God approves of their actions or that there won’t be a price to be paid for their choices. It just means God will not force anyone to be nice, honest, or decent. That being said, the biggest problem with blaming God for the actions of people is that we deny ourselves access to the only one who can give us comfort, peace and the power to persevere through whatever horrible thing we are dealing with (Psalm 23:4, Psalm 86:17, 2nd Corinthians 1:3). Sigh. 

Take the long view-

The apostle Paul lived most of his Christian life in what most of us would consider absolutely unacceptable conditions (2nd Corinthians 11:21-29).  Literally, everyone hated him. The Jews hated him. The Romans hated him. The Greeks hated him. Sometimes even other Christians hated him (Galatians 4:16-18).  Paul went hungry, spent time in prison, was beaten, stoned and betrayed by people who pretended to be his friends (2nd Timothy 4:14). Nevertheless, none of this injustice appears to have bothered him because he was able to view all of these situations as temporary problems that would be righted by God at some point in the future. He believed with all his heart his trials were actually preparing him for future ministry and making him more fit to spend eternity with God (2ndCorinthians 4:17, 1st Thessalonians 3:2-3). One “key” to persevering and enduring through pain is to make the choice to believe pain that is stewarded well will make us better, wiser, more insightful and more like Jesus. 

Know that Jesus gets “it”- 

He does. Whatever “it” is. Jesus gets it. I promise. Jesus experienced the same types of things we experience. He knows exactly what temptation, betrayal, loss, loneliness, hurt feelings and personal pain feels like (Hebrews 4:15). This makes Jesus the perfect one to run to anytime the heaviness of life becomes too much too bear (2ndCorinthians 1:5). 

Don’t let yourself get hung up on the issue of fairness- 

Getting hung up on what’s fair or unfair in this life will literally drive a Christian insane. Life, at least, in the present, is not fair. People “get away” with crappy stuff all the time. If we choose to focus on what kind of punishment people are getting right now, in this life we will lose our faith and our minds in that order. Instead of worrying about what’s fair and unfair, God wants us to believe in Him and trust that He will make things right and just in His good time. Anytime we’re hurt we have to remember the Bible is clear: NOTHING is in all of creation hidden from God and there is nothing that will not be publicly disclosed (Matthew 10:26, Hebrews 4:13). Sin that is unrepented of will be made public and punished in time. Period. 

Ultimately, choosing to persevere through the pain of life means clinging to our faith and choosing to tenaciously love God no matter what goes wrong or who hurts us. Faithful endurance through hurt, loss or persecution is the hard route but God promises rich rewards for those who choose it. 

Our Reliance on “Experts” is Making Society Stupider than ever-

Lisa M. Price3 Comments


“Woe to you experts in the law, because you have taken away the key to knowledge. You yourselves have not entered, and you have hindered those who were entering.”- Luke 11:52 

I have had a number of curious interactions recently. The finer points of each interaction vary but it all began when I made a common-sense statement that would have been considered irrefutably logical just a few years ago. These statements have included but are not limited to such things as:

Minors are simply too young to make the life-changing decision to transition to another gender-

Men who dress like women are still men-

It’s questionable whether or not that proposed law would even pass constitutional muster. 

In each case the second the words came out of my mouth the smug little wisenheimer I was speaking with demanded in a very chippy manner I produce my early childhood education degree, medical degree, or law degree or whatever stupid degree they deemed necessary to continue the conversation.  In each case I pointed out, as politely as I was able—that no one really needs a degree in a particular field—or any field for that matter to know whether or not what I said is true. My statement clearly fell under the heading of common sense, common knowledge and empirical wisdom. Nine times out of ten at this point in the conversation the smug little wisenheimer rolled their beady little eyes and told me to come back when I’m qualified to give an opinion.

I’m convinced we are witnessing the death of both wisdom and intelligent thought.

These exchanges literally make me insane. Literally. I’m not kidding. I may need to be medicated, because, if one were to take this lunacy to its logical end-game in order to make a statement such as: “I had a dog with the exact same symptoms and it turned out to be mange” one would need to be a veterinarian. Or if you were to say: “children ought to eat something besides candy three meals a day” one would have to be a nutritionist or have a degree in early childhood development.

I have nothing against knowledge, education or experts.

In fact, I am all for knowledge. Experts are awesome and at times necessary. Furthermore, I am convinced wise people freely admit when they are dealing with a situation above their pay-grade or outside of their area of expertise. Intelligent people consult multiple counselors before forming an opinion or making a decision (Proverbs 11:14, Proverbs 15:22, Proverbs 24:6). 

However, 

There are a lot of potential problems with choosing to only take advice from an expert. For one thing, who exactly gets to decide who the expert is?  Do we all get to pick our own expert?  Or are the people in power the people who decide who the experts are? Is it you? Or is it the people in the media? Or your Mother? Or my Nana?

It would be easy to settle on education as the qualifier for title of expert.

However, education alone cannot be the only deciding factor in what constitutes an expert, there are lots of folks who have similar or even identical educational experiences who have differing opinions on nearly every subject.  Who is or is not an expert in a particular field can and often is politicized in our increasingly political culture. It’s just a fact that one political administration may have an entirely different take on what makes a person an expert than the one before or after it. 

Furthermore.

Experts are most useful when they are totally unbiased or operating completely without an agenda of any kind.  This is rare because experts aren’t robots or computer programs.  Experts are just people who spent a lot of time in school being taught by other people. Unfortunately, people—even people with a great deal of education can be corrupted by money, media attention and/or the promise of power and/or influence.  Experts can be bought. It happens all the time.  Because “experts” are human they are also prone to having biases that may or may not be grounded in facts. Experts can have experiences in life that can turn them in a particular direction. Experts can be also swayed by peer pressure.  

Moreover.

Experts are sometimes just plain wrong. It was experts in the early 20th century that claimed certain races were genetically inferior to other races.  This belief led to all sorts of human suffering that culminated in the holocaust. It was experts that assured us margarine was healthier than butter. It was theology experts in the middle ages who claimed common people were too stupid to understand the Bible for themselves. It was medical experts in the 1940’s who said baby formula was superior to human breast milk.

All “truths” that have been proven WRONG.

By far, the biggest problem with placing all our trust in “experts” is doing so demands we stop thinking for ourselves. Sadly, not thinking has become endemic in our society. Many have simply shut off their brains and let the experts decide what’s best. It’s not working out real well for anyone. Our society is falling apart at the seams despite all the “experts” we have advising us. 

 We have forgotten the hard truth that each one of us is ultimately responsible before God for the choices we make. No one gets to blame an “expert” for the consequences of a poor choice on judgment day. God blessed us with brains and He expects them to be used. We have to wake up and recognize the fact that anytime we stop thinking for ourselves we become a sitting duck for those looking to deceive.  Instead of placing our trust in the experts we ought to go back to the age-old practice of seeking out a multitude of opinions, analyzing the data, praying like crazy for wisdom before deciding for ourselves.  

How does the Church get its Spiritual Power Back?

Lisa M. PriceLeave a comment

 They went far from Me, and walked after emptiness and became empty– Jeremiah 2:5b NASB

The Western Church is in crisis.

I think it’s because somehow over last century or so both Church-goers and Church leaders have lost sight of what a real spiritual win looks like (Judges 21:25). As a result, there is little actual spiritual power in the lives of most church-goers. 

The lack of real spiritual power has left the church incapable of transforming people and society.  

Sigh.

The average church-goer has gone after all the wrong spiritual objectives in life (Jeremiah 2:5). For many the primary aim of the Christian life has become one of personal fulfillment. In the minds of the average Western church-goer God exists mostly to meet human needs and fulfill personal desires. Many feel God’s job is to make us happy and fix our problems. If God fails to provide what we want in a timely manner or in the way we want it we find a new spiritual model, hobby or cause that gives us more of what we think we need. Sometimes, this involves Christians making flowery proclamations on social media stating their intention to “reimagine”, “deconstruct” or “reinvent” their faith. Those expressions are all just twenty-first century colloquialisms for willfully choosing to create a new god in our own image. The “reimagined” or “reconstructed” God is always a little more progressive and tolerant than the God of the Bible. The new God is always willing to put His (or Her) blessing on self-actualization that leads to selfishness, sexual sin and bitterness. 

Christian leaders have looked to God primarily for a sense of achievement.  When leaders lack an understanding of their purpose God becomes a means to an end rather than the whole goal of the Christian life.  Leaders who lack an understanding of their purpose kingdom build. However, instead of building God’s Kingdom they build their own. These leaders end up working really hard to create a cool place for people to hear them speak. On the surface this can appear to be a good thing. However, the environments these leaders construct inevitably lack the power to bring Christians and non-Christians out of their sin and selfishness and into right relationship with God.  

It’s a hot mess. 

The answer to the problem is simple. However, that does not necessarily mean it will be easy to actualize the solution. In order to solve it we must rethink a whole bunch of different things including our perspectives on what God is for, what the church is for and what the outcome of Christianity is supposed to be. This will take a combination of humility, self-awareness and a willingness to make hard changes.

Unfortunately, most humans suck at all that stuff. 

Mercifully, what is impossible for man is possible with God (Matthew 19:25-26, Luke 18:27). The Western church will regain its purpose and spiritual power when God’s people go back to the Bible and seek to understand what God really says about the mission of the Church. 

The gospel message is the mission. Period. The average Christians job is to tell everyone they know how Jesus can transform a person and change the trajectory of their life (Matthew 28:18-20, 2nd Corinthians 5:17). Ephesians six commands Christins to “put on the shoes of the gospel of peace”. That directive is a statement of our mission as believers. We exist to take Jesus into every interaction we have and every situation we find ourselves. In order to do that well we must live lives that reflect the goodness, kindness and moral purity of Jesus. 

Christian leaders are to be in the business of building and growing people spiritually and morally. Leaders should be all about teaching the average Christian to use their gifts and abilities to grow the kingdom of God (Ephesians 2:10, Ephesians 4:11-14). Leaders must emphasize the importance of spiritual growth, emotional health and holiness in their teaching, preaching and interactions with church people.

The goal of every Christian leader should be for every person in their body to be told “well done good and faithful servant” on judgment day by Jesus (Matthew 25:21).  When that happens leaders will hear the same.

If we want to win the world to Jesus everything we do as believers must be done in a spirit of humility. Church-goers must tell the world about Jesus with an attitude of grace and love that shows the world that everything we say about our God is true. Church leaders must manage their lives and ministries in such a way that church people become a natural reflection of the leaders in their lives (Romans 12:8).  

How to Grow in any Season of Life-

Lisa M. Price1 Comment

Test everything; hold fast what is good. Abstain from every form of evil. Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ- 1st Thessalonians 5:21-23 ESV

I am a bit of a cynic.

 I am always a bit slow to embrace any new idea, theory or belief without some hard evidence that the idea, theory or belief could actually be true or a good idea.  

Despite my inherently cynical nature I am fully convinced the whole stupid world is under the judgment of God right now. No one is special right now. Too many people in too many places have either participated in or voluntarily tolerated every kind of evil for far too long Romans 1:18-30). The Almighty God of the Universe has finally had enough. He is lifting His hand of protection and letting humanity have a taste of what we have been begging for: life without God. Therefore, every man, woman and child on earth is in for some rough waters until there is a movement of repentance. The evidence is just too overwhelming not to believe it. Bad leaders, weird weather, random acts of violence, hostility, disease, fear and crime are all telltale signs of divine judgment (Deuteronomy 28:16-64). 

HOWEVER.

This season might just turn out to be the most productive of our lives from a spiritual growth perspective. Rough waters often cause people to seek God and let go of the sin that so easily entangles (Hebrews 12:1). Trials can empower us to break free of the behaviors and attitudes that trap us in the mindsets that keep us mired in worldly thinking.  When we seek God and ask Him to help us break free of worldly thinking and sinful strongholds we inevitably do the things that please and honor God (Revelation 2:5). When Christians obey God, He is faithful to move in powerful ways and good always comes out of it. (1st Peter 1:6-9). 

Here’s how to make spiritual growth happen:

Stop being a baby-

Churches today are crawling with spiritual and moral toddlers. People who never grew past the sippy-cup and fit-throwing stage of spiritual development (Hebrews 5:12-14).  In order to flourish spiritually we must be intentional about letting go of the childish and/or sinful things holding us back from becoming truly Christlike.  This means learning to do hard things, like examining our attitudes on a regular basis. It means accepting difficulty and learning from it rather than getting angry and bitter about it (1st Corinthians 13:11, 2nd Timothy 4:5).  It means caring about people enough to tell them the truth about where their choices will lead them even if it means they don’t like us when the conversation is over. It means forgiving those who wrong us and praying for those who persecute us (Matthew 5:44). 

Know what having “good fruit” actually means- 

We all know the fruit of a person’s life matters because Jesus said it matters (Matthew 7:16). However, having a life that consists of good fruit is about more than looking good or even doing good deeds. “Good fruit” like church attendance, taking on leadership roles in church or even leading people to Jesus is really only good if those things are accompanied by by true holiness, honesty, virtue and love for one’s enemies (Matthew 5:43, Galatians 5:22-23, Ephesians 5:3). This means doing the right things with the wrong heart will not result in reward. In order to get this vital issue right we must be vigilant about examining our motives.  We must ask ourselves: am I doing what I’m doing so others will think well of me? Do I do things for people to help them or gain influence? Do I love everyone or just people who love me back? If we get the answers to any of these questions wrong we need to ask God to change our hearts until He does. 

Deal with your spiritual junk–

In order to deal with our junk we have to WANT to see the sin our life. Most people, even most Christians don’t really want to see the sin their lives. It’s just too painful and hard see our own grossness head-on. It We have to ask God to show us. He will do this in a whole bunch of different ways that probably won’t involve verbal communication with the Almighty.  He will show us through conflicts we have in our marriages and jobs. He will show us through the attitudes we see in our own kids and the entertainment we gravitate towards. 

Don’t get confused about what repentance really is-

Repentance is a twofold event. It’s dealing with sinful behaviors in a decisive way (Matthew 5:30).  That means stopping it (whatever “it” is) as quickly as possible. However, simply stopping bad behavior is the beginning not the end of the matter. In order to truly repent we have to deal with the heart attitude that caused us to sin in the first place. That means we have to dig deep and figure out the why of what we do. Without that knowledge will never move on to a higher level of functioning. 

If we know God and are called according to His purpose then life is good even when its tough. It’s good because God is always at work using the hard stuff to mold us into someone He can use. 

But we have to let Him.

The Only Right Way for Christians to Deal With Current Events-

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The righteous will never be shaken, they will be remembered forever. They will have no fear of bad news; their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord.Their hearts are secure, they will have no fear; in the end they will look in triumph on their foes- Psalm 112:6-8 NIV

One of my personal axioms has always been: “the more you know, the more you know”. Because I have lived and breathed this conviction for more-or-less all of my days I have been a major news junkie for most of my adult life.  However, in recent months I have become a much less enthusiastic consumer of the nightly news. Mostly because the content has gotten pretty dang scary.

Seriously. 

The world is a scary place and it’s getting scarier all the time. A good many individuals really do appear to be going completely feral. Many appear to believe deep down in their hearts that violence and repressing the speech of others is a legitimate way to solve problems and silence voices that make them uncomfortable.  Elementary schools have become taxpayer-funded propaganda centers. Precious few politicians are defending the rights of “the average Joe or Jane”. No one seems to be on the side of anything good or wholesome anymore. The reality of this sorry state of affairs has left many Christians feeling powerless and even despairing. Some have given into the temptation to bury their heads in the sand to avoid feeling panic-stricken by the constant onslaught of bad news and cultural decay. 

Here’s the thing:

God does not want his people to live like cultural recluses or in a bubble. God wants His people to understand what’s going on in the world. Not for the sake of knowledge, but because knowledge empowers us to pray effectively.  Knowledge transforms us into voices of reason and wisdom in a chaotic world. When we know things, we can become actively involved in finding solutions to the problems plaguing society.  But in order to the voice our world needs we must respond to what we hear in the right way. 

The right way means:

Without fear- 

Christians are not called to live or behave in a way that is reckless or stupid. That said, the only thing anyone should really fear is God, displeasing God or not getting their lives right with God (Matthew 10:28, Isaiah 41:10, Psalm 76:11). Fear paralyzes us.  It makes us forget the fundamental truth that God is ultimately in control of all things. Even death, by far the worst thing anyone can experience in this life is simply a door to a closer relationship with God for those who have put their faith and trust in Jesus. 

With discernment- 

Deception is our world’s biggest problem right now (Matthew 24:11, Colossians 2:4). Because deception is so commonplace, most of the nightly news is designed to propagandize rather than inform viewers. Some of it isn’t even true. Christians must learn to seek out conservative voices that are not weird or conspiratorial (I recommend The Daily Wire and Townhall). Then we need to pray daily for wisdom about how to interpret what we hear.  

In faith- 

In order to please God Christians must believe that God is and that He is working all events in this world out to achieve an end that He planned since the dawn of time (Hebrews 10:38, Hebrews 11:6) Revelation 21-22).  God wants us to show our faith (James 2:18) by holding on to the truth that God is working all things, even the most worrisome things (Romans 8:35-39) out for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28). 

With grace towards those who think differently- 

With a few notable exceptions, most people do not believe stupid things because they are willfully dumb or intentionally bent towards evil. Generally speaking most people who believe stupid and/or evil things do so because they have been deceived by the enemy (Titus 3:3).  Understanding that the average unbeliever is deceived rather than willfully stupid or intentionally evil should lead us to respond to their stupidity with concern and grace rather than contempt and scorn. We cannot allow ourselves to forget that deceived people who do evil will spend all of eternity paying for their folly. This should cause us to pray like crazy for them.  After all it is only by the grace of God that we aren’t just like them.  

Through the lens of eternity-

Everything we experience is this life no matter how good, bad, terrifying or delightful is fleeting and temporary (2nd Corinthians 4:18). We should never allow a temporal experience (whether the experience be positive or painful) to rob us of the truth that our lives should be centered around two things and two things only: preparing ourselves for eternity with God and attempting to bring others into relationship with Jesus so they can spend eternity with God. We should view events, even scary events as opportunities to grow in our own faith and as jumping off places to start conversations with others about their faith. 

Last, but not least: 

Knowing things, understanding the political world or being informed is absolutely pointless if we don’t combine our knowledge with a heart that is bent towards producing change in the world. The only way to produce change is to become an active participant in the world around us. We do that by praying fervently and specifically about current events, instigating conversations with our neighbors and making sure our voting habits reflect biblical values. When we learn to these things we become gracious, spirit empowered change agents.  

The How-to of Keeping any Relationship Healthy, Happy and Drama-free-

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Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift- Matthew 5:23-24

 Relationships.

 They are without question both the blessing and the bane of human existence.

 When our closest relationships are healthy and thriving, life is good.  When a close relationship goes bad there is literally nothing more miserable and angst-inducing.  

 In our chaotic, sin-sick world messy, fragmented relationships are pretty much the new normal.

Sigh.

Nearly, half of marriages end in divorce, friendships end as quickly as they begin, business relationships no longer stand the test of time and churches routinely split over the stupidest stuff imaginable.

Our culture has been steeped in a it’s “all about me” mentality of relationship care for decades now. This has created an environment where it feels natural, normal and healthy to treat relationships like disposable commodities. It is not at all unusual even for Christians to write-off relationships as “toxic” and move on with little thought to the consequences of doing so. We have forsaken the principle found in Proverbs that tells us we should never forsake a friend or even the friend of a family member (Proverbs 27:10a). 

 The Bible clearly teaches Christians bear an extra measure of responsibility when it comes to the care, keeping and healing of relationships. We are reminded over and over again in Scripture that human relationships are not always easy but the difficulties involved in developing and maintaining healthy relationships make us better people (Proverbs 27:6, Proverbs 27:17) and bring joy to our lives (Proverbs 17:17, Proverbs 18:24).  Christians are directed to treat others the way they want to be treated and commanded to take the initiative when it comes to reconciling broken relationships (Matthew 7:12, Ephesians 4:32, Matthew 5:23-24, Luke 12:58).  Repairing damaged relationships and helping others to do the same is probably the most basic task Christians are called to in this life (2nd Corinthians 5:12-18).  The process begins with understanding and choosing to live out six principles:

 If something feels wrong in a relationship assume something IS wrong-

 Never trivialize or ignore the niggling sense you may have caused offense or alienated another person (Proverbs 18:19). When in doubt ask how the other person is feeling and/or modify your behavior. The earlier a damaged relationship is attended to the easier it is to repair.

 Do not short-circuit the recovery process-

 Anytime we jump to simply restoring a broken relationship without working through the issues that fractured the relationship in the first place we set in motion a series of events that will inevitably lead to even more brokenness and hurt. Problems need to be talked out, not glossed over if we want to see permanent recovery in the relationship and personal growth in ourselves. 

 Be willing to assume at least partial responsibility for any relationship fracture-  

 I truly loathe the adage: “perception is reality”. Mostly because if you really break it down it sounds like something a super crazy person would say. However, when it comes to hurt in relationships perception really is reality. It is critical we remember ALL human beings tend to be self-absorbed and blind to their own faults. For that reason, it is possible to hurt another person without knowing how we hurt them. Healthy, mature believers are always open to the idea that they may not understand how their words or actions have affected another person

 Accept the other person’s opinions regarding the situation-

 If someone lets you know the relationship has been broken or feels they were wronged by you it is not wise, kind or emotionally intelligent to write that person off as stupid, incorrect, easily hurt or just plain clueless. As Christians we owe it to God and people to find out why others feel the way they feel about situations that involve us—even when we truly believe we have done nothing wrong.  Not caring about the other persons perspective is both painfully narcissistic and grossly sinful.  The only time we are free from the obligation of exploring the other person’s perspective is if the individual flatly refuses to communicate with us.

 Be willing to let some things go-

 Our personal relationships matter to God partly because relationship health is a measure of our spiritual health and maturity level. It is also reasonable to say that from God’s perspective relationships are nearly always worth preserving (Proverbs 17:9). The key to achieving relationship health is a willingness to let some things go. Cruelty, gas lighting, unfaithfulness in marriage or flagrant disrespect for the other person is never okay. That said, most other issues can be worked through if both parties are willing to listen, change and forgive. 

Choose to view relationship troubles as opportunities for growth- 

 No normal, healthy or sane human being likes to have problems in their personal relationships. That said, truly mature people view all problems including relationship problems as an opportunity for growth rather than a hassle or a personal attack.

 The health of our relationships really and truly is the greatest measure of our maturity. It is also a powerful witness to unbelievers. A God who has the power to help a person have happy, healthy relationships is a God worth following. For that reason, alone Christians should do everything they can do to ensure their relationships are healthy and God honoring. 

What are Four Things Christians Should Never Ever Settle for?

Lisa M. Price1 Comment

Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom- Psalm 90:12 NIV

People are weird. 

Human beings are wired in such a way they will fight to the death for things they don’t really want, need, or care anything about but then settle for things that are less than what is best for everyone involved without so much as a single word of resistance.  

Seriously.

Even a lot of God’s people will happily settle for things that are less than what God really wants us to have. We settle for things that look and feel “good enough”. Settling for less than what God has for us limits our personal growth and chokes our ability to be a force for good in this world. Evil is accelerating at an alarming pace. (2nd Timothy 3:1-3). If we want to have an impact in these times we cannot afford to settle for anything less than God’s best.

Following are four things that will eventually ruin us if we settle for them:

Minimal influence-

Christians are redeemed for the sole purpose of influencing others (Matthew 5:14-16) and making a difference in this world (Ephesians 2:10). We minimize our ability to influence when we choose to blend in and take on the attitudes and behaviors of our culture. Taking on attitudes of worldliness, selfishness and unforgiveness will cause Christians to become powerless to effect change and spiritually useless (Matthew 5:13).

Makeovers–

Humans are extraordinarily perceptive when comes to sensing social patterns. No one really wants to be branded as strange, so we carefully monitor and regulate our public behavior. Christians are pros at this. The minute we get saved we take a look around at what other Christians are doing or not doing and dutifully fall in line. If none of the other Christians we know are dropping F-bombs we stop dropping F-bombs. If none of the other Christians are drinking beer we steer clear of beer. If other Christians are going to Bible study, we get our butts to a Bible study.  We alter our external behavior to fit into whatever Christian culture we are a part of. None of these things are bad things. However, sometimes we do this without changing the attitudes of our heart (Romans 12:2).  Regulating behavior is not necessarily wrong or sinful. There are times when it is even healthy (Proverbs 16:32). However, simply copycatting good behavior falls painfully short of God’s will for our lives. God wants more for His people than wrong thinking covered-up with right behavior.  He wants to transform our thinking so that our behavior falls in line with what the Bible says rather than simply settling for behavior that “appears Christian” on the surface. Transformation cannot happen without effort on our part. We have to want it, pray for it and work our tails off to get it (Philippians 2:12, Ephesians 4:17-32). 

Being smart- 

Everybody understands what it means to be smart. Smart people can read, write and solve tricky mathematical equations. Smart people speak well and they know how to get things done. Smart is good. The Bible teaches wisdom is better (Proverbs 2:12-16). Wisdom empowers people to think like God thinks and to see problems, situations and people from His perspective (James 3:17). Wisdom enables people to look at every side of an issue and think through all the conceivable outcomes of issues. Wisdom enables people to know good advice when they hear it and teaches them to tactfully ignore bad counsel (Proverbs 13:10) Wise people know when to give a little so they can get a lot and they know when they should go to war to eventually achieve peace. Wisdom is gift. God bestows wisdom on those humble enough to ask for it (2nd Chronicles 1:7-12, Proverbs 1:7, Proverbs 2:6, James 1:5). 

 Human approval–  

Humans universally hunger for approval and acceptance. Unfortunately, sometimes that aspect of our human nature bumps up against God’s will for our lives. Anytime a Christian chooses being liked over speaking against sin or speaking up for God we settle for less than the best, break the heart of God and limit our usefulness for the Kingdom. 

The world is getting darker by the day and the darkness is not going anywhere anytime soon (Matthew 24:7-13). In a world where sin is celebrated and there is a constant danger biblical Christianity will be criminalized. It is imperative God’s people do not settle for anything less than being the world changers we are called to be. 

How to Become Spiritually Useless (It’s not Difficult)

Lisa M. PriceLeave a comment

Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up. You will increase my honor and comfort me once more~ Psalm 71:20-21 NIV

 There are a few sins unique to a few seriously creepy individuals. Normal people might joke about murder. However, very few people actually kill people.  Even fewer people joke about cannibalism or human sacrifice. 

 Then there are the other sins.

 Those irksome little sins that sprout-up like weeds in a garden. The sins we all struggle with (1st Corinthians 10:13). There is simply no one in all of human history who has not grappled with lust, inappropriate anger, jealousy, hatred, selfish ambition and the inclination to gossip (Galatians 5:19-21, Colossians 3:5-6) at some point in their lives.

 Bitterness is another.

Scripture clearly instructs Christians to avoid becoming bitter and remaining bitter (Ephesians 4:31, Hebrews 12:15). That being said, most of us (if we’re honest) will admit to giving into the sin of bitterness at some point.  

Here’s the thing.

Most people do not become bitter without a valid reason. This inevitably leads people to feel justified and even righteous as they wallow around in the anger and resentment that ultimately leads to bitterness.  I am well-acquainted with the sin of bitterness. I learned first-hand over the course of several miserable and painfully unproductive years bitterness is one of those sins that hurts us far more than it hurts the people who have sinned against us.

 It is critical we understand God does not forbid bitterness because it is not a defensible, logical or understandable reaction to certain situations. Sometimes it’s all of those things. God forbids bitterness because bitterness gradually undoes every good thing God has done in our hearts, minds and spirits.  At the root of a bitter spirit is unforgiveness. Unforgiveness causes us to miss the grace of God and prevents us from experiencing the Christian life in all its beauty and fullness (Matthew 6:14-15, Hebrews 12:15, Luke 17:4).

 The paths that lead to bitterness are endless. Something as small and seemingly insignificant as being offended or ignored can cause a bitter root to develop in some more sensitive people. An unfaithful spouse, a two-faced friend, a tough childhood or ongoing, unrelenting injustice can cause bitterness in even the most thick-skinned of individuals.  

 Because bitterness is such a common sin and because it is something we are cautioned to avoid at all costs there are at least four things every Christian needs to understand about bitterness.

 Bitterness makes spiritual growth impossible-

 It does not matter how many sermons the bitter person hears (or preaches). Nor does it matter how much of the Bible a person can recite verbatim. There is something about the choice to remain bitter that makes it impossible for that person to apply the truth they are taught or are teaching to their own life. Any learning that does take place is typically just empty academic agreement (head knowledge) rather than a full emotional and intellectual adoption of truth we have understood and embraced (heart knowledge). Satan celebrates when Christians become bitter because bitterness keeps Christians stuck in a cycle of obtaining knowledge without actually growing (2nd Timothy3:7).

 Bitterness halts clear communication with God-

 Bitterness is a sin (Ephesians 4:31). Sin impedes communication with God. Repentance from sin is the only way to restore clear and unrestricted communication with God (2nd Chronicles 7:14, Daniel 9:1-19). Sadly, bitterness blinds us to the lack of communication we have with God, making it more difficult to get right Him.

 We have a responsibility to prevent our own bitterness-

 There will always be situations that come into our lives that have the potential to make us bitter. Some of those situations are one-hundred-percent unforeseeable and therefore entirely unavoidable. That being said, the author of the book of Hebrews tells the readers of the book to “see to it” that no “bitter root grows up”. The writer is instructing Christians to process and forgive offenses as quickly and completely as humanly possible.  Likewise, Christians should be very careful about voluntarily placing themselves in situations where bitterness is an obvious and foreseeable end result of said situation (Ephesians 5:15).

 Behaving in a way that causes others to become bitter is as sinful as bitterness-

 The New Testament clearly teaches a principal of mutual accountability when it comes to sin (Matthew 18:6). For example: Christians are clearly forbidden from committing adultery (Exodus 20:14, Mark 7:21). However, spouses are also cautioned against refusing each other sexually because doing so could tempt their spouse to commit adultery (1st Corinthians 7:1-5). Obviously, a lack of “IT” in a marriage does not make adultery acceptable to God (Hebrews 13:4). However, it does make the other partner accountable to God for their refusal to obey Scripture.  Similarly, each person is responsible before God for their own choice to become bitter. However, we have an obligation to live in such a way that we do not give people just cause to become bitter. If we don’t we will be accountable to God for our sinful, selfish or evil actions.

 Finally. There really is only one path to getting free from the sin of bitterness-

 We have to forgive.

 Seriously.  It’s that simple. We have to let go of the hurt and bitterness we are holding onto and let God be the judge and jury of the other person. 

 It’s His job (1st Samuel 24:12, Hebrews 4:13, 1st Peter 4:5) and it makes us free to do what He has called us to do. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How do we Build Others Up?

Lisa M. PriceLeave a comment

Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing~ 1st Thessalonians 5:11 NIV

 When our oldest daughter was in the ninth grade, her science teacher had each of his students construct a Rube Goldberg device over Christmas break. For the uninitiated, a Rube Goldberg machine is a device built using an excess of absurdly complicated pulleys, levers, moving parts and gizmos that all work together to tell a funny story and perform a simple task. The project represented a sizable portion of our daughter’s semester grade.

 Five things were apparent within an hour of receiving the details of the assignment:

  1. Rube Goldberg machines are not the sort of project the average student can complete without parental assistance.
  2. The teacher was a vacation-spoiling troll
  3. The assignment was clearly intended to separate mechanically skilled (smart) parents from mechanically challenged (stupid) parents.
  4. My husband and I fell solidly into the second category.
  5. I was harboring some very unhealthy feelings towards the teacher.

 Thank heavens I married a clever man because I quickly devolved into a puddle of emotional goo and proceeded to rant bitterly against tyrannical teachers who assign tasks that are impossible to accomplish without time and money from parents. I might very well have been standing in the exact same spot ranting when school started back up if it were not for the rational actions of my quick-witted husband.

 Alan called his stepdad (who happened to have an engineering degree) and invited him and my mother-in-law to visit over the Christmas break. It turned out to be a win for everyone. The in-laws were elated to spend some quality time with our kids and the grown-ups had a very pleasant visit. Her teacher was spared an unpleasant phone call and our daughter got an A on the project.

 The experience taught me that the building of anything is serious business. I still couldn’t build a Rube Goldberg machine if my life depended on it. But I did learn there are some some parallels to the building of things and the building-up of people.

Both require a solid plan, careful thought and some real skill.

 The New Testament has precious little to say about the constructing of structures. But it does give a great deal of coaching on the building-up of people. Christians are told repeatedly to grow the body of Christ by looking for ways to build others up (1st Thessalonians 5:9-11, Ephesians 4:29, Romans 15:2, Hebrews 10:24-25). Parents are to build up children, husbands are to build-up their wives, wives should build-up their husbands, and Church leaders and members are to look for ways to build one another (Colossians 3, Ephesians 5:1-6:13). There is a lot that goes into the building–up of others but it all begins with three foundational elements:

 Relationship- 1st Corinthians 16:14

 One of the more profound truths I learned from watching my father-in-law build that device is that the wrong foundation will doom an otherwise well-constructed device (Matthew 7:24-27). The same is true with people. For people the foundation for building needs to be a loving relationship and healthy communication. Without relationship and rapport, efforts to build up another person can feel an awful lot like meddling or even malice.

 Encouragement- Hebrews 3:13

 Too often encouragement devolves into hollow praise and gracious but meaningless words we express to the people we like. Biblical encouragement is a form of nurturing that is intended to stimulate spiritual and emotional growth in people. This empowers people to become the totality of what God intends them to be. Well-timed words of encouragement and exhortation can spur others on towards love and good deeds when life gets tough and faith is fading. Encouragement can be life-changing when it is born out of relationship and careful observation of the character, abilities and gifts of person we want to encourage.   

 Truthful words- Ephesians 4:15

 Building people occasionally necessitates some gentle and kindhearted truth telling. When someone we love is headed in the wrong direction or engaging in potentially damaging behavior the most loving thing we can do is to tell him or her what the outcome of that behavior might be. Truth telling should never be harsh or punitive. Truth telling should be done lovingly with relationship and the long-term spiritual growth of the person in mind.

 Building others up is not about ignoring bad behavior or raising self-esteem through empty words of flattery. The building of people is serious business that, if done right, empowers others to do and be all they can for the Kingdom of God. The building of people is not optional for Christians. It is a command that, if obeyed, does as much for the one doing the building as it does for those being built up. 

 

 

 

 

 

Attitudes Guaranteed to Divorce Proof a Marriage-

Lisa M. PriceLeave a comment

Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure~ Hebrews 13:4

 I am convinced there are two kinds of people in this world.

There are those who are good at math and those who are not. I fall squarely into the not-so-good-at-math category. My aversion to anything math-related could probably be classified as some sort of a neurosis or phobia. When confronted with a complex math problem I can actually feel my brain overheating, seizing up and shutting down like an oil-deprived engine.

Therefore, I will do anything short of sin to avoid any sort of math-related activity.

 There is one exception to my firm no-math policy: statistics. It’s the only kind of math I actually enjoy, maybe because it’s easily applicable to real life. Last week I came across a statistic that got my attention. Researchers from the Gottman Institute have discovered that not only do forty percent of marriages end in divorce, half of the couples who stay married report being unhappy or very unhappy in their relationship.

Sigh.

 It was by far the gloomiest news I have heard in ages. Half of all people who DO NOT divorce claim to be miserable in the most significant human relationship humans experience.

It’s no wonder our society has so many issues with rage and alcohol abuse.

 The study went on to explain that there are two behaviors that appear to offer protection against both divorce and marital misery: kindness and generosity. Personal experience has proven the research to be true. Kindness and generosity are indeed vital to a healthy, happy marriage. No one sane wants to be married to a mean cheapskate.

 As important as kindness and generosity are in a spouse, they are not the only behaviors that contribute to long-term happiness. Kindness and generosity are traits that grow out of other even more vital attitudes and behaviors. Kindness and generosity will never take root in a relationship that is lacking in other areas, including:

 Respect– 1st Peter 2:17, Ephesians 5:33, 1st Peter 3:7

 Respect means to hold a person in high esteem. Respect is real when it’s shown by giving honor and by openly displaying admiration and appreciation for what your spouse does and who they are as a person. Respect is at the heart of all healthy adult relationships. No other positive behavior will flourish over the long haul in a marriage that is lacking in mutual respect.

 Loyalty– Malachi 2:14-16, Matthew 19:9

 Loyalty is about more than just sexual fidelity. Loyalty is also about how we choose to speak about our spouse in front of other people and how we treat our spouse in both public and private. Loyalty is linked to our priorities concerning time, outside relationships and even how we spend money.

 Cooperation– Ephesians 5:21

 Sometimes it’s called teamwork or collaboration. The Bible calls it mutual submission (Ephesians 5:21). Whatever you call it, marriages fail when it’s missing. Cooperation is the unwavering commitment to work together on things and pull in the same direction. Cooperation comes down to our willingness to give up a little bit of what we want, or think we need, for the good of the other person and the health of the relationship.

 Forgiveness– Mark 11:25, Ephesians 4:32

 One fact you can count on in this world is that people, even the best people, will inevitably disappoint and fail you. But it’s okay because you will undoubtedly end up disappointing and failing other people. We are all disappointing failures at some point in our lives. The key to making a relationship work between two imperfect people is the daily commitment to forgive and let go.

 Selflessness– Philippians 2:1-5, 1st Peter 4:10, Romans 12:3

 We live in a time and a place when self-centeredness has, for all intents and purposes been enshrined as a virtue. We are constantly encouraged to “consider your own needs” and “focus on what makes you happy.” The Bible gives an entirely different set of messages, including: “consider yourself with sober judgment,” “do not think more highly of yourself than you ought,” and “serve rather than be served.” Nowhere do these messages matter more than in marriage.

 One of the things I like about statistics is that, unlike other forms of math, they are not fixed. A statistic can be changed. The unhappy state of a marriage does not have to be permanent. I am convinced that any marriage can be a happy marriage. Respect, loyalty, cooperation, forgiveness, selflessness, kindness and generosity are the behaviors that define and comprise love. When these behaviors become standard operating procedure in a marriage, the people in that marriage cannot help but be happy.