What Happens Behind the Scenes While we Wait on God?

  Maintain kindness and justice, and wait for your God continually- Hosea 12:6b NASB

Waiting. 

It’s literally the worst.

Seriously.

Just hearing the word can make otherwise rational, mature people cantankerous, anxious and irritable. 

Sigh. 

  Waiting is terrible. However, some things are easier to wait for than others. It may not be pleasant to wait for the barista to finish your latte. However, unless you have a childlike absence of self-control waiting for coffee will not present any real challenges to your faith.  Waiting on God can be another matter altogether.  There is nothing worse than being stuck in a bad situation that is one-hundred-percent outside your control and waiting for God to do what only He can do. 

Waiting on God is always bewildering and frustrating. However, if the situation is dire enough or goes on long enough, a protracted waiting period can and often does present some very real challenges to our faith. The story of Hannah in 1st Samuel 1:1-2:11 provides valuable insight into what goes on behind the scenes as we wait on the Lord. 

Hannah was married to Elkanah. Hannah and Elkanah loved each other.  The only real sticking point in the relationship was Hannah’s infertility. The text strongly implies (but does not say outright) Elkanah chose to take a second wife (Peninnah) in order to build a family. This plot twist is appalling to our modern sensibilities. However, Elkanah’s actions were culturally appropriate and even expected at the time. Having children (especially sons) was critically important to ancient people and they would go to great lengths to make it happen. 

That being said. 

 Humans were not made to flourish in polyamorous relationships (Genesis 2:24, Mark 10:7-9), as a result this arrangement generated trauma for both women. Peninnah appears to have effortlessly conceived children. However, she was devastated by Elkanah’s lack of affection and care for her. She responded by cruelly taunting Hannah for her barrenness (ouch) and poor Hannah had nowhere to run from her problem. It literally confronted her at the dinner table every night.  Year after year Hannah pleaded with God to change her situation and year after year she got nothing but crickets from the Almighty (1st Samuel 1:1-8).  First Samuel reveals God may have been silent in the face of Hannah’s pain but He was far from absent in her situation.  Anytime we are stuck in a holding pattern God is actively doing at least one of the following four things. 

Teaching us to live by faith rather than by sight- 

There are times in this life when we just don’t get what we want or need when we want or need it. When this happens, we are left with one of two options. We can get mad at God, take matters into our own hands and see where that lands us. Or we can choose to believe God is good and He still loves us in spite of the fact life is hard and we are not getting what we want or need. When we choose the latter our favor with God increases exponentially because nothing in this world pleases God more than faith in the face of impossible situations (Hebrews 10:38, Hebrews 11, James 2:23)

Preparing us for the next thing-

God eventually answered Hannah’s prayer in a big way. She ultimately gave birth to three sons and two daughters (1st Samuel 2:21). Her first child was Samuel, a little boy who would grow up to be a Prophet, Priest and the final and most important Judge of Israel. Samuel led the Israelites faithfully, anointed the first two kings of Israel and mentored David, the man who would be called a man after God’s own heart and the great-great-great-grandfather of Jesus. In order for Samuel to become the man God needed in that moment of time, it was mission-critical he receive in-depth instruction from an early age. Hannah took Samuel to the tabernacle when he was about five-years-old to be trained under the Priest Eli. Hannah’s years of waiting, praying and trusting God for a miracle made her strong and prepared her to do what needed to be done so Samuel could become the man God needed in the moment.

Breaking strongholds-

A spiritual stronghold is an area of our lives where our flesh (humanness) or Satan has more control over our actions and attitudes than God. Even Christians have spiritual strongholds in their lives. God wants to free us from our strongholds so that we can become more like Jesus and more spiritually productive in every way (2nd Corinthians 10:3-5, Matthew 28:18-20). Periods of waiting have a way of creating stress that reveal our strongholds. Sometimes God makes us wait so we will see the things in our lives that need to be transformed (Romans 12:2, 2nd Corinthians 3:18)

Working on the people in our sphere of influence- 

There are times when our pain isn’t all about us. Sometimes the way we handle our struggles has a huge impact on the people in our circle of influence. Such was the case with Hannah. Through her faithfulness, persistence and trust in God Hannah taught Eli (the priest) what it really looks like to seek the Lord in the midst of a trial (1st Samuel 1:12-17). By following through on her vow, she also showed Eli what real obedience looks like (1st Samuel 1:9-24I. it was a lesson he needed to learn (1st Samuel 2:12-17)

If you are in a period of waiting I want to encourage you to make every effort not to give into despair during your trial (Psalm 31:24, John 16:33. 1st Peter 1:3-7).  Instead, do what Hannah did and seek God until you have peace or see transformation in your circumstances. Above all, trust God is doing something in you or through you cannot see or understand just yet.

Because that’s what He does in a period of waiting.

Why Don’t we Hear From God?

The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may follow all the words of this law- Deuteronomy 29:29 NIV 

Okay. I’m going to get really real for just a minute and say the quiet part out loud.

Sometimes God feels distant. Really distant.

Like radio silence distant.

This sensation can get emotionally and spiritually messy really quickly because we derive comfort, peace and security from knowing God sees our needs and hears our cries (Psalm 61:1-3, Psalm 28:2). Whether it’s through answered prayer, a Bible passage that speaks to our situation or a still small voice that guides us through the complexities of life, anyone who really loves God wants to hear from God (Psalm 63:1, John 10:27).

This is even more true when the going gets tough and life gets challenging, uncertain or just plain hard and sucky.  Radio silence in these moments is beyond discouraging. It can challenge our belief God is good. (Psalm 13:1-6, Psalm 42:9, Psalm 43:2, Psalm 22:1).  It just gets worse when we feel like we are doing our level best to keep the lines of communication open and still—nothing, zero, nada. That still small voice that guides and directs our steps is painfully quiet. 

Sigh. 

Nothing is gained and much is lost anytime we give into the very human temptation to give up our faith, get angry or place all of the blame on God in these moments, nor should we turn to sin or worldly ways of coping to fill our empty places, dull our pain or relieve our frustration in these seasons.  The best thing we can do when we feel God is far away is to keep our hearts open and use our situation as the jumping off place for some self-examination and perhaps a change of approach. There are a whole bunch of really good reasons why we don’t feel the presence of God or hear His still small voice, some of those are: 

We don’t want to- 

Sometimes we think we want to hear from God but we don’t. Not really—mostly because deep down in our heart-of-hearts we have a niggling little hunch God might just have something to say to us we have zero interest in hearing.  Most of us have been guilty at some point of desperately wanting to hear from God in one area of our lives while we entertain some ugly sin in another area of our lives. Truth-be-told God usually addresses the sin that’s holding back our spiritual growth before He blesses us with a clear direction or a deep sense of spiritual peace (Hebrews 12:1-2). It’s critical we remember no sin is worth stunting our spiritual growth over or shutting down communication with the God of the universe (Matthew 5:30, 1st Corinthians 15:34). It’s just not.   

We do and we don’t like what he says- 

Alas, we are all human, and sadly, one aspect of being human is an inclination towards moments of stupidity, willful blindness and obstinacy. Sometimes we do hear from God and we don’t like what He has to say so we ignore Him (Hebrews 12:25). Typically, what happens in these situations is God wants us to forgive someone we don’t want to forgive (Matthew 6:15, Ephesians 4:31, Hebrews 12:15), or He wants us to repair a relationship that would be personally embarrassing for us to deal with. Other times God wants us to look at our own actions in a situation where we have chosen to lay the blame on the actions or attitude of the other guy. Whatever the case may be, it is always in our best interests to ask God if there is something we’re just not seeing when He feels far off.

We’re just too dang busy-

Okay, so this is a big one, because we have made busyness into badge of honor, an indication of righteousness and a weird little idol in our Christian culture. Busyness in none of those things. The Bible is clear, we are least likely to connect with God when we are spinning around in a flurry of over activity. Conversely, we are most likely to connect with Him when we slow down and seek Him in a spirit of quiet trust (Isaiah 30:15, Psalm 37:7, Psalm 46:10, Hebrews 4:1). Sometimes all we have to do to reconnect with God is take a day off from our striving and make Him our priority (Jeremiah 29:12-14).

We want to be in charge of how he communicates-

Most of the time God speaks through His word (the Bible) or in a still small voice that leaves an impression on our spirit that we should do or not do something (2nd Peter 1:3., 1st Kings 19:12). God rarely communicates verbally and when He speaks through other people it’s usually just them talking in a wise way that hits home with our situation (Matthew 10:20). It’s fairly rare for a person to get a bold prophetic proclamation that clears up all their confusion concerning a matter. As a general rule we should always look to the “normal ways” God communicates rather than expecting Him to be dramatic in His communication.

All that being said: 

 God is always with us even when we don’t feel His presence, hear His voice or understand what exactly is going on (Joshua 1:5, Psalm 91:3-4, Hebrews 13:5).  He never leaves us or forsakes us. God is always moving us towards the end goal of being more like Jesus and sometimes the road to that end is a bumpy one where we feel alone even when we’re not (1st Corinthians 15:49, 2nd Corinthians 3:18, Colossians 3:10). In those times must remind ourselves that God’s love never fails and He never walks away. 

Even when He’s quiet. 

Six Things-

For the ear tests words, as the palate tastes food. Let us choose justice for ourselves;
let us know among ourselves what is good- Job 34:2-3 NKJV

I had an unusual problem this week. I found myself totally at a loss for a decent blog topic. 

Typically, blog topics just kind of come to me. But, for some reason it just didn’t happen this week.  Typically, by Tuesday afternoon I have an idea locked down and ready to go but for some reason I literally had nothing this week. 

Zero. Zilch. Nada.

 So, I did this thing I do on the rare occasions I find myself utterly desperate for thought-provoking writing material. I spent a couple of hours one-night binge-watching some of the popular cable news channels (FOX, CNN, MSNBC). I have found in the past that there is almost always enough crazy stuff being reported on the news to generate at least a blog post or two. 

It worked. 

I learned a lot that night, most of it was more than a bit maddening. I also ended-up with a serious glut of excess material. It turns out there is quite a lot of super outrageous stuff going on in the world.  I do not believe Christians should run or hide from the ugliness and sin in our world. Christians are called to fight darkness rather than flee from it. Because I believe that I decided to share (most) of what I learned. My hope is that you will spend some time in prayer over these issues and looking for ways to engage with our sin-sick world.

The sex industry is being normalized for teens by adults who are smart enough to know better- 

A popular periodical marketed to girls between the ages of 12 and 17 published an article about the importance of destigmatizing and normalizing “sex work” (AKA prostitution). The article was entitled “Sex Work is Real Work”. For the record, no one has to convince me that sex workis real work. Sex work is without a doubt the most grueling, dreadful, dehumanizing, horrific work there is. What I don’t understand is why a magizine that presents itself as pro-girl and pro-woman would write an article that glamourizes the job and might possibly inspire young women to consider a vocation that degrades, marginalizes and damages women solely for the sexual gratification of men. Wasn’t that the sort of thing feminism was supposed to end? 

Drug use is trendy once again-

Recreational drug use became popular in the 1960’s and use rose steadily throughout the 1980’s and 1990’s. Then drug use plummeted in the early years of the 21stcentury.  For the first time since the 1980’s drug use is rising among 8th, 10thand 12thgraders. When questioned about drug use teens admit that this is due almost entirely to decriminalization and legalization efforts on the state level. Legalization and decriminalization have removed fears of addiction and being saddled with a criminal record. As a result, for the first time in decades teens view drug use as a potential positive rather than an overwhelmingly negative experience. This means that millions more teenagers are voluntarily damaging their brains before they really even get an opportunity to use them.  

City and State leaders are refusing to be honest about homelessness- 

Homelessness is booming (especially in the West). Leaders in cities where homelessness has become an issue refuse to blame the thing those who work with the homeless say is the number one cause of homelessness: drug use. Perhaps it’s because those states are beginning to view taxing drug use as a potential money maker and they don’t want to admit that there is a cost to legalizing drugs and encouraging drug use. 

 HBO has a new program for teens- 

In its first season Euphoriahas showcased hardcore drug use, full frontal nudity, masturbation, endless expressions of nihilism and transgender teenagers having sex with adults. Whoo-hoo. Thanks HBO, we didn’t have nearly enough filth on T.V. 

A small minority of parents are cashing in on their children’s gender confusion-

Apparently, there are parents who dress their kids up as the opposite gender and parading them around for money. I literally have no words and I always have words. Words are my thing. We obviously need revival if these parents aren’t in jail for this.

Powerful words are being abused- 

This is nothing new.  Hardly a week goes by when a lawmaker or newscaster doesn’t call someone a NAZI or refer to the holocaust in an inappropriate manner. But this week Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez took it to a new level when she claimed that immigrants who voluntarily turned themselves in at the border hoping to become citizens are being forced to live in “concentration camps”. Sigh.   

A tiny minority is redefining morality-

A particular senator who is hoping to become the President stated emphatically this past week that taking a pro-life position is so outside the mainstream that pro-life people shouldn’t be judges. What? Who gave this woman the “right” to redefine what the mainstream is or isn’t?  

Okay, so, now you have a prayer list for the week. Let’s get to it. 

The Sad Truth Concerning #Metoo

The plans of the righteous are just, but the advice of the wicked is deceitful~ Proverbs 12:5

I will not lie. I had high hopes for the #metoo movement.

 Back in the day, I found myself on the receiving end of some bad behavior from men who were well beyond the point of knowing better. These days, that behavior would without a doubt be considered sexual harassment.

 Back then we called it “boys being boys”. It was wrong then and it’s wrong now. It just got a whole lot less attention back then.

 Crude comments, unwelcome touching, and rape are wrong for many reasons, most of which are clearly obvious to thinking people. At the root of every single one of those many reasons is the reality that predatory sexual behavior is an attack on the God-given dignity and personhood of women (Genesis 1:27). For that reason sexual violence against women is an attack on God Himself (as the author of life and giver of human dignity).

 Which brings me back to my original high-hopes for the #metoo movement. I like the idea of drawing attention to the very real problem of sexual violence. I also feel that those who commit acts of sexual violence deserve to have their deeds exposed (Numbers 32:23, Galatians 6:7). For those reasons alone, I wanted so badly for #metoo to be something that I, as a Christian woman, could support and stand behind.

 It’s not.

 For the record, I did not rush to judgment on that pronouncement. I sincerely wanted to see where the movement would go before I made up my mind about how I felt about it. I did this because, generally speaking, I feel that Christians are a little over eager to both condemn and embrace movements.

 When Christians criticize and condemn before getting the facts, we all end up looking like a bunch of small-minded, knee-jerk Judgy McJudgers. Conversely, when Christians choose to embrace movements prior to getting all the facts, we wind up looking ridiculous when we are inevitably forced to backtrack and retract our support.

 I have been observing the #metoo movement for a while now and have concluded that smart, thoughtful Christians should avoid the #metoo movement for at least four reasons:

 The movement is insincere-

 If #metoo were truly serious about ending sexual violence and the exploitation of women they would do more than simply point fingers at high profile predators. They would denounce the porn industry, fight for the end of prostitution and raise money to support those victimized by the sex trade. To my knowledge none of those things are happening, which makes all their talk about being “advocates for women” appear hollow and self-serving.

 Not every man is a bad man-

 One of my biggest concerns with the #metoo movement is that they seem to sincerely believe that every man is a sexual predator and every unsolicited flirtation from a man is somehow a form of rape. One does not need to be clairvoyant to see where this insanity might lead. Innocent interactions between men and women will no longer be seen as innocent, men and women will be further alienated from each other and the war between the sexes will intensify. If that happens we will all lose.

 The movement is quickly becoming one-big witch-hunt-

 The #metoo movement believes that all women should be believed regardless of evidence (or lack there of). They also believe that women should be able to accuse men anonymously. I am all for keeping the identity of victims of sexual violence who have reported the assault to the police out of the public eye. The privacy of victims should be protected from the press. Period. That said, sometimes people lie (Deuteronomy 19:15-17) and in the interest of fairness (and keeping our justice system just) the accused have a right to know who is accusing them.

 #metoo could set women back decades-

 I work in a field (ministry) where men tend to be very reluctant (for obvious reasons) to be seen interacting with a woman. This fact (as understandable as it may be) has not made my life in ministry easy, nor has it helped me to move ahead in a field I love. I’m not complaining. I am simply describing the world I live in. I am fearful that the law of unintended consequences will come into play and my (admittedly weird) problem will become a problem for all women. No man in his right mind will be seen associating with women (even in a business setting) if he knows there is a good chance his reputation will be ruined for it.

 Nothing in this world aggravates me more than the powerful taking advantage of the powerless. It is true that some men (not all) have taken advantage of women in the past and even prevented some from reaching their God-given potential. That said, the way to correct a past injustice is never with more injustice. We correct injustice through understanding, open communication and a commitment to believe the best in others unless there is an obvious reason not to.

 

 

Five Things to try When Life Feels Stuck-

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world~ John 16:33 NIV

 There is little in life more challenging than a bad or frustrating situation that does not change in spite of our best efforts and fervent prayers. Sometimes the situation is financial. We need a job or a some sort of a financial miracle, or someone we love needs one or another. Other times the seemingly unchangeable situation is relational. We want to see health and healing in our marriage or a close relationship and despite our best efforts it just doesn’t happen. For Christians oftentimes the situation is spiritual, we want to see a breakthrough in someone we love that just doesn’t happen.

Sigh.

When these kinds of situations drag on for years at a time they can test our faith and cause us to doubt the goodness (and sometimes even the existence) of God.

 The following strategies are not magic bullets. Putting them into practice may or may not change your situation for the better (sorry). That said, we become what we do. Doing these things will help you put your mess in better perspective, empower you to handle the situation more effectively and enable you to grow in the midst of your trial.

 Stop resenting the situation- Job 5:2, Job 36:13

 Resentment is the worst. It literally poisons to our souls. It clouds our judgment, hinders our ability to problem solve and steals our joy. Furthermore, resentment is an emotional black hole that sucks up mental energy that would be better spent on problem solving. If resentment is allowed to fester and grow it will eventfully mutate into bitterness. Bitterness is the most destructive and defiling force on earth. It has the power to prevent us from doing anything good in this world (Ephesians 4:31, Hebrews 12:15). For those reasons (and at least a dozen others) it’s critical we deal with any resentment we may be harboring so we can move on to a healthier way of looking at and dealing with the present situation. Gratitude is the antidote to resentment. If resentment is an issue, spend some time in prayer thanking God for the good things you do have or the situations that are going well. It will melt away the resentment and refresh your soul.

 Learn what you need to learn from the mistakes that landed you in the situation but don’t live in the past- 2nd Corinthians 13:5

 No one is a bigger advocate of frequent self-examination than I am. Seriously. I believe with all my heart there is wisdom in scrutinizing past mistakes and poor choices. Understanding and owning our junk prevents us from making similar mistakes in the future. However, an unhealthy fixation on the past (ruminating on it constantly) is a pointless distraction that robs us of our ability to deal with the present productively. If you find yourself thinking constantly about past choices ask God to forgive you for those mistakes and help you to move past them with some healthy and wise choices in the present. Taking just one baby step in the right direction today will make tomorrow a little bit better.

 Control the one thing you do have absolute control over- Proverbs 16:22, Titus 2:11-12, 2nd Peter 1:3-10

 Oftentimes, when we feel stuck we also feel we have very little power to change the details of the situation or move things in a better direction. Our perception of the situation may or may not be accurate (see next point). That said, there really are times when the only thing we have any control over in a given situation is ourselves. We cannot control other people or the circumstances that come into our lives but we can control how we react and respond to the people and circumstances in our lives.

 Get advice from others and put at least some of it into action – Proverbs 12:1, Proverbs 12:15, Proverbs 13:10, Proverbs 15:22

 I know from my own experiences stuck people tend to develop tunnel vision when it comes to their situation. As a result we tend to think there is absolutely nothing that can be done to change or even improve our situation. Typically other people (friends, Pastors, counselors, coaches) can see options and alternatives that we cannot. This is why it’s absolutely critical we seek the counsel of others. However, simply asking for advice will do nothing if we don’t actually take the advice we are given and make the appropriate and necessary changes.

 Don’t give up- Galatians 6:9

 Ultimately, staying sane in a stuck situation is all about keeping things in perspective. Perspective is about far more than simply finding a way out of a bad situation. It’s about making a commitment before God to come out of the situation a better person than we were before we got in it. It’s about keeping our heart open and free from bitterness, so we can learn and grow in the midst of the situation.

 Keeping things in perspective enables us to help someone who is going through something similar in the future (2nd Corinthians 1:3-5). Keeping things in perspective and refusing to give up (no matter how tough it gets) empower us to come out of our difficult situation with a deeper faith, stronger character and more passionate love for God.

 And that’s what life is all about anyway.

Another Steaming Pile of Subversive Crap-

 So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days.  Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do~ Ephesians 5:15-17 NLT

Reader warning:

The subject matter of this post is not a topic I would typically choose to discuss and I apologize in advance for the rawness of the subject matter. It is not my intention to shock or offend, there is simply no polite way to discuss this issue. I had a long debate with myself (I do that sometimes) about whether or not to even address this issue (mostly because it’s kind of icky and offensive). In the end I decided it was wrong not to address an issue that has such deep ramifications for our culture.

 Teen Vogue (a magazine for girls between 11 and 17) won the cultural race to the bottom this month when they featured a graphic how-to on anal sex aimed at teenage girls. The article presented heterosexual anal sex in the most positive terms imaginable. Which is odd considering the fact that even the dependably progressive cheerleaders for teen sex and unfettered abortion at the Alan Guttmacher Institute have nothing positive to say about the practice.

 Not a word was spoken concerning the risks associated with anal sex, although the Alan Guttmacher Institute stresses in their literature that anal sex is an extremely risky behavior. Short-term risks include extreme pain and anxiety during sex, emotional trauma after, and anal tearing (sometimes requiring surgery to repair). Long-term risks include an increased risk of anal cancer, a 17 times greater risk of contracting HIV from an infected partner and fecal incontinence (and yes, that means exactly what you think it means).

 Understand that I am not judging or attempting to dictate what consenting adults do privately. That is simply none of my business. However, I cannot help but think that a list of the potential medical risks would be relevant information to include in an article concerning a demonstrably risky sexual practice. It seems to me that even consenting adults would value that information and are in fact entitled to receive it. .

 I believe the Teen Vogue article exposes some seriously ugly truths concerning our civilization (I use that term loosely). Most notably, it clearly reveals that we are not a society that cares about the heath and welfare of women, especially young women.

 The woman assumes virtually all the risk during anal sex. Yet Teen Vogue did not see fit to warn their readers concerning any of the risks involved in this type of sex. Teen Vogue also neglected to mention the violence that frequently surrounds this sexual practice. A study done by the Alan Guttmacher Institute reveals that 25% of women who participated in anal sex admitted to being forced into it at least once. Sadly, this is not the only topic where sex educators and progressives display an obvious lack of concern for the psychological, emotional and physical welfare of women.

 Abortion is another situation where the man benefits (by walking away from the moral and financial responsibility of parenthood) while the woman is left dealing with the potential physical and emotional consequences of the procedure. Those risks include distress during and following the abortion, bowel and bladder perforation, infection, cervical laceration, hemorrhage, infertility and depression.

 Sadly, progressives typically present abortion as a sanitary, beautiful and necessary equalizer and liberator for women. No one ever mentions that abortion is just another avenue for men to escape the responsibilities of their sexual choices.

 The very existence of a magazine like Teen Vogue reveals a disturbing lack of good sense on the part of too many parents in this country. When my oldest daughter was a young teen (and asking to read Teen Vogue) I paid a visit to the local library and read through a couple of issues of both Teen Vogue and Seventeen Magazine. As a result I was not at all surprised to learn Teen Vogue had published a how-to on anal sex.

 I am thunderstruck that there is a parent alive who would voluntarily shell out their hard-earned cash for even a single copy of that steaming pile of subversive crap (feel free to insert a stronger word here if your theology will allow it).

 Seriously.

 Parents who choose to purchase this or any other magazine for their children without carefully reading through it first are hopelessly naïve and doubtless contributing to the moral downfall of their children. Parents in this country need to wake up and recognize the ugly truth that the publishing industry is plagued with unscrupulous, amoral people who do not care about the spiritual health of our children.

 Christians must commit to praying daily for revival and a return to our collective senses. As a culture we have moved away from God and even the most basic of truths and as a result we have become the most pitiable kind of fools. Fools who promote dangerous practices for no good purpose other than to corrupt the hearts and minds of the most vulnerable among us.

 Judgment cannot be far off.

  

 

 

Why We Aren’t Connecting

 All those who had believed were together and had all things in common. They were taking their meals together with gladness and sincerity of heart, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord was adding to their number day by day those who were being saved~ Acts 2:44a, 46b, and 47 NIV

 Connecting people is a passion of mine.

 I served as a Connections Coordinator for a couple of years. But long before all that, I recognized that the people most likely to stick around a Church or a group in a church were those who felt deeply connected to the people in the church or church group.

 The high school kids who had friends in the Sunday school class I taught were the ones who showed up week after week regardless of what I was teaching. I learned early on that if I could help a woman make a friend in the Bible study I was leading, the chances were pretty good that woman would come back and sometimes she would bring a friend.

 Legitimate research has backed up my observations.

 Research done by Thom Ranier reveals that roughly half (49%) of all people stay in their current church because they have a deep connection to the people in the church. According to some of my own less-than-legitimate research (asking a bunch of nosy questions about why people stayed in or left their church) the number two reason people gave for leaving a church (number one was weak or shady leadership) was lack of connection to people.

 Even the most introverted among us were created to connect with one another. It’s a fundamental part of who we are and a reflection of God’s nature in us. Most adults who convert to Christianity do so within the context of friendship. Many who began attending church looking for friendships have found Jesus in the process.

 Hospitality and developing healthy relationships is a basic and often overlooked aspect of evangelism and we all bear some responsibility for the task. We build healthy groups churches by doing five simple things consistently.

 First:

 Show up-

 Sadly, many of the same people who attend services once or twice a month also grumble about not feeling a sense of belonging in their church. No one in the history of forever has ever grown spiritually, made a friend or become a functioning part of a church body without first committing to consistently attending a church service (Hebrews 10:25).

 Join a small group-

 It can be an adult Sunday school class, weekday Bible study or a small group that meets in a home. Go and do more than show-up. Show-up early, stay late, participate in the discussions and invite people in the group into your home, your heart, and your inner circle. Do your part to make that group into a family and then encourage new people to become a part of the family (1st Corinthians 12:28).

 Be real-

 God only made one you. Being authentic about who you are and what you’ve experienced (without being excessively detailed or graphic) is honoring to God and can be useful (if it’s done right) to those who are struggling on their spiritual journey (2nd Corinthians 1:3-4).

 Don’t judge others for being real-

 Just don’t. Judgment destroys community. Our role as Christians is to encourage, correct, redirect and cheer-lead (Galatians 6:1, Hebrews 3:13, 2nd Timothy 2:24-26). We must leave the judgments to God. He knows more than we ever could. However, it’s equally critical we don’t buy into the lie that correction or redirection is the same thing as judgment. Correcting sinful or spiritually dubious behavior is NOT the same as judging. Correction is biblical AND necessary in a healthy Christian community (James 1:21, James 5:20).

 Use the gifts you have-

 My fondest wish for every Christian on earth would be for them to know and use their gifts to grow their local church (Ephesians 2:10, Romans 12:6-11). Sadly, many Christians have all but stopped serving and churches are dying as a result of our disobedience. Volunteering to teach a class, hosting a group in your home, baking cookies for VBS or serving on the greeting team or in the food pantry is about more than filling a spot. It’s about bonding with other believers, building community and being the hands and feet of Jesus in a broken and hurting world (Matthew 25:44-46).  

 Don’t close your circle-

 Building connections with people is both horribly complex and enormously rewarding. Keeping our hearts open to people and finding creative ways to meet their needs is one of the most significant and basic ways we serve God (1st Peter 4:9). It’s also the only way to build a healthy Christian community.

 

 

It’s Time to Move on Already

I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people—for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. This is good, and pleases God our Savior~ 1st Timothy 2:1-3 NIV

 Any longtime reader of mine knows that I was not exactly a huge Trump supporter. I was in fact so opposed to a Trump presidency that I composed several passionate blog posts throughout the primary season in a futile attempt to persuade folks to vote for anyone but Trump.

 Once Trump secured the nomination, it took me a long time to come to terms with the choice of my fellow conservatives. Over the course of the subsequent months I slogged my way through the five stages of grief and eventually came to a place of unenthusiastic acceptance of his candidacy and reluctantly cast my vote for Trump. Mostly because I felt there were no other truly viable options.

 Sigh.

I am not confessing all this in an effort to rehash the past or bash Trump (I’m so over all that). I am sharing because I want folks to know that I really do understand the feelings of those whose candidate lost the election.

 I get it. Losing sucks. No one likes it.

 That aside, even with my empathy for others firmly in place I have been more than a bit mystified by the reaction of some in the anti-Trump camp. One would think those people had never experienced any sort of disappointment before.

 Post election hysteria reached a fever pitch early on with the irate expressions of childishness, self-indulgent temper tantrums violent demonstrations and emotionally charged cry-ins immediately following the election. Progressive rage eventually morphed into whiney demands for a recount. When that hope was thwarted by reality. The left (apparently not easily motivated to introspection) moved on to blaming everyone and everything but Hilary Clinton, her lack of accomplishment, countless scandals and pitifully flaccid message.

 Hollywood liberals have kept the bellyaching alive with their absurd anti-Trump promos and ceaseless sermonizing regarding their hazy fears and the unsubstantiated perils of a Trump presidency. The media has done their level best to sow dissent by blaming fake news, generating fake news, and howling endlessly about Russian hackers and conspiracy theories.

 But, I digress.

 This blog post is not really about post election madness, progressive meltdowns or pretentious anxiety coming out of Hollywood. Neither is it about the media, their obvious bias against all things conservative, the Russians, or fake news.

 This blog post is about the individual responsibility we all have in preserving a free and democratic society and coming together as a country. It’s time for America to get a collective grip and start thinking rationally about all this.

 Progressives, who are depressed by the election results, need to understand that we (conservatives) feel your pain. Most conservative people were more than a little uneasy when Obama got elected the first time. Many were positively panicked when he won the second time around. However, we survived Obama and you will survive Trump.

 The beauty of the system our founding fathers crafted is that no one person or party gets to rule forever and there are enough checks and balances built into the system to keep even the worst leaders from becoming dictatorial overlords. It’s time to end the histrionics and give the guy a chance. If Trump fails, I guarantee that you will get your guy (or gal) in four years, and if he succeeds, you succeed.

 Either way it’s a win for your team.

Supporters of Trump would do well to remember that no one man is ever the answer to all of a nation’s problems. Unless of course that man happens to be Jesus and Trump is definitely not Jesus. That said, God has used far lesser men than Donald Trump to accomplish great things in this world.

 Our primary responsibility as believers is to pray for those in authority, even those we don’t like or agree with (Romans 13:7). Love him or hate him, each and every one of us ought to pray daily for Donald Trump. He clearly needs our prayers. He’s got a big job to do. A job that is so big, so complex, and so fraught with landmines that no human being could possibly do it effectively without the support, guidance and blessing of God.

 I have a postscript for my conservative friends.    

 I get that you’re happy. Our guy won and it feels really good, conservatives have sustained a lot of defeats over the course of the last eight years and it’s been a rough and depressing ride. Nevertheless, lets try to refrain from too much gloating; it’s boorish and it frightens the progressives.

 We clearly don’t need anymore of that.

 

 

When God Calls You to Love a Jerk-

To you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you~ Luke 6:27-28 NIV

 Pretty much every Christian I know (myself included) likes to pontificate endlessly on the topic of love.

 Why on earth wouldn’t we?

 In a world that is increasingly more hostile towards Christians and their faith, love is one of the few doctrines left that everyone enjoys discussing. Sin, judgment, obedience and hell are sensitive, uncomfortable, sticky-wicket kinds of issues that are all-but certain to offend pretty much everyone and create all kinds of relational chaos.

However.

No one can quarrel with the whole notion of loving people.

 That said, even a hasty analysis of the comments section of any news article or blog piece posted on the Internet clues us in to the fact that although most people love the idea of love, and we adore quoting scriptures concerning the importance of loving people.

We struggle mightily with the implementation of loving people.

 The Christian standard of love is outrageously high and almost impossible to achieve (1st Corinthians 13, Matthew 5:44, John 13:34, 1st Peter 3:8, 1st John 2:10). Mostly, because some people are jerks and God calls us to love them anyway. Scripture commands we love people who do not love us back and even those who openly despise us. We are also instructed to love people who make fun of what we believe, insult our intelligence and tell lies about us (Romans 12:9-21).

 This is quite obviously easier said than done.

 There is no question that loving people (even nice people) is a concept that is far less painful to achieve in theory than in practice. That said, it’s easier to love a person when there is relationship in place or an emotional bond that has already been established.

 Showing love to a wayward child or a spouse with a less than pleasant disposition is somehow much easier than trying to muster up some emotional warmth or caring for a heartless, egomaniacal boss or an intellectually pretentious brother-in-law/college professor/auntie/co-worker. The one who cannot seem to stop themselves from insinuating that the only possible motivations anyone could possibly have for voting for a particular political party would be racism, homophobia or a criminal level of stupidity. It’s even harder to muster grace (let alone love) for the media personality who is constantly undermining decency and openly supporting actions and attitudes wholeheartedly contrary to God’s way of doing things.

 Sigh.    

 Thankfully, authentic Christian love is more about making a choice than manufacturing a feeling. We can choose to behave in a loving way towards people we don’t particularly like. In the process we might actually change hearts and minds in a way that hateful and nasty rhetoric or sidelong glances never will.

 Loving jerks needs to begin with some honest self-examination. Sometimes we are the innocent victims of jerks and other times we are the ones acting like a jerk (2nd Corinthians 13:5, Colossians 3:5-11). Even genuine Christians, are capable of less than Christian behavior from time-to-time, especially when someone is intentionally pushing our buttons. Any time we feel offended or hurt, it’s a good time to prayerfully evaluate our own actions and attitudes to see if we are doing anything that is contributing to the problem.

 Nothing about honest self-examination is pleasant or easy, however it is necessary if we want to grow and mature spiritually (Romans 12:2, Colossians 3, Galatians 5:13-26).

 Sigh.

 If after some soul-searching we discover we are indeed part of the problem, then we need to repent. Repentance is all about changing how we think about the person who has hurt us. Instead of focusing on the things we don’t like about the other person we need to look for positive qualities. We also need to cease any hurtful actions on our part such as gossip, ugly or passive-aggressive comments, and writing rude things about the person on the Internet etc.. Genuine repentance always includes praying for the person who wronged us (Luke 6:28.

 Praying for the person who offended or wronged us really does make any repenting on our part that needs to be done easier and less painful, and prayer actually has the capacity to change the heart of the other person.

 Bonus.

 Then God calls us to the truly hard thing, blessing those who curse us and actually doing good to those who have wronged us. Doing good is about more than an absence of malice. It’s about thinking through to what Jesus would do to the person and then doing it.

 Love is an action.

 

How Hate and Fear Got Trump Elected

The truth shall make you free~ John 8:32b NKJV

It’s been nearly two weeks since the votes were counted and Donald J. Trump was elected as leader of the free world. Sadly, half the American electorate is still deep in the weeds of a bitter grieving process. Because anger is not an easy emotion to sustain over a long period of time I figured that the riots, temper tantrums, and malicious Facebook tirades would be easing in intensity by now.

 I figured wrong.

 Over the course of the last two weeks I have seen a steady stream of social media posts and liberal columnists demanding that Trump step down (seriously, like that will happen). Others are hanging on to the fantasy that a large enough percentage of state electors will go “faithless” to reverse a Trump victory at the eleventh hour.

 As if.  

 Others are descending deeper into a state of denial. The vast majority of progressives out there are convinced the only reason Donald Trump won the election is because half of America is racist, poor and stupid.

 This belief exposes an ugly truth. We have become a nation of reflex labelers. We no longer take the time to discover the nuances of what people think or how they feel about issues. Instead we slap a label on those who do not think like we do do. Sadly, this is typically done based on the scantest of information, which makes it almost impossible for those in denial to see the truth.

 For the progressives who read this blog (I know you’re out there) I want to clear up a few misconceptions concerning the Trump win.

 One piece of Trump’s success was his competition. Hilary Clinton was a flaming-hot mess of a candidate. She was a scandal-ridden nominee who presented no new ideas and in spite of a lifetime spent in public office she could boast of no actual accomplishments.

 Clearly, anyone could have beaten her.

 However, Trump’s success was not due entirely to Hillary’s weakness. Economic concerns were on the minds of many Trump voters, but the election results were about more than just the economy. I believe the issues that propelled Donald Trump to the Presidency run deeper than all of that.

Ultimately the Trump win was about:

 Fairness-

 Prior to 1973, abortion was outlawed in thirty states and legally limited in the other twenty. America was a steadfastly pro-life country. Nonetheless, seven Supreme Court Justices overrode the majority and legalized abortion on demand in all fifty states.

 Three states (Maine, Maryland, Washington) legalized gay marriage due to a vote of the people. No state enforced prohibitions on homosexual sex or same-sex cohabitation; most states simply refused to recognize gay marriage. Nevertheless, in 2015 the Supreme Court marginalized the masses and overturned thousands of years of social wisdom when they pulled the “right” for same-sex marriage out of thin air.  

 It is estimated that roughly one-percent of Americans identify as “trans-sexual” and yet the federal government is attempting to force schools and business to make costly and difficult “accommodations” for a tiny minority, despite the practical concerns of millions.

 Clearly, none of this is fair. Unless of course your definition of fairness differs dramatically from the commonly accepted meaning of the word.

 It was also about common sense and respect for others-

 Contrary to popular belief, it is common sense—rather than hate—that dictates that we carefully screen immigrants who belong to a religion where some of the adherents commit acts of senseless violence against innocent people. It’s absurd to insist that state mandated education teach children there is an endless array of genders for them to choose from.  Especially, when one considers the sorry state of public education in many areas. Contrary to popular belief, most Christians LIKE gay people. However, they also believe it’s irrational and disrespectful to demand they bake a cake for a gay wedding.

 Finally, it was about fear and hate-

 Not fear of Muslims, women, gay people, Latinos or a changing America. It was fear of the liberal left and their hatred of conservatives that drove folks to the ballot box. Conservatives have been watching liberals for years and the riots in Ferguson, Baltimore, Seattle, Milwaukee, Portland and St. Louis have proven that sane people ought to fear a progressive majority. Sadly, fear is increasing, thanks to the aggressive vitriol coming from the left since the election. Hilary Clinton reinforced that fear when she called Trump supporters “deplorable” and when she declared, “religious beliefs must change”.

 Conservatives knew what religion she was talking about and it scared them. It was the intolerance and hate that has become endemic on the left that drove conservative America to vote for Donald Trump.