Category: 2017

The Real Reasons Marriages Fail-

Lisa M. PriceLeave a comment

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate~ Mark 10:7-9 NIV

 Recently, a friend informed me she and her husband were splitting up after more than two decades of marriage (she did not initiate the divorce). This unexpected news was depressing on a bunch of different levels. We’ve known these people a long time, our kids grew up together, we love them both and two decades is a long time to invest in something that has clearly ended in dismal failure. Further complicating the whole messy mess, this couple has adult children and they are grieving deeply. Both of their parents are professing Christians and the split has tested their faith in God’s power and their belief in loves ability to overcome any obstacle.

 My friend’s sad news got me all navel gaze-y concerning the topic of marriage in general and why marriages fail in particular. It occurred to me that although most folks know going-in that marriage takes a lot of energy and hard work, all marriages begin on a hopeful note. No one I have ever known (or heard of) has entered into marriage anticipating failure or hoping the marriage ends in a messy life-altering divorce.

 This truth begs the question: 

If most folks know from the very beginning marriage will not be easy then why do so many marriages fail with such depressing regularity?

 Everyone knows the statistics: roughly one-third to one-half of all marriages in America end in divorce. The most common reasons couples give for divorce are lack of sex, infidelity, money problems and poor communication.

I get that only crazy people argue with statistics but I’m doing it anyway.  

I believe with all my heart the reasons people give for divorce are not the actual reasons people get divorced. The statistical reasons given are actually just symptoms of the real causes of divorce.

We will never change the divorce rate until we get real about why people divorce.

 Marriages struggle and die not because of big problems that cannot be worked out. Relationships struggle and die for three far less discussed reasons.

 It begins with…

 Selfishness-

 According to the trusty word wizards at Dictionary.com selfishness is defined as “ being devoted to or caring only for one’s own interests, benefits, welfare, etc. regardless of others”. When we carry an attitude of selfishness into marriage it manifests itself in a lack of thoughtfulness or consideration for others. A friend (who has since repented) confessed that for years he bought his wife a big beautiful chocolate cake every year on her birthday. Not because she loved chocolate (she didn’t care for it at all) but because he loved chocolate and it was a good excuse for him to eat the kind of cake he liked (Luke 6:31, Ephesians 4:32). Over time even silly acts of selfishness like that one erode positive feelings and leave the spouse (no matter how long-suffering they may be) feeling hurt and possibly even vengeful towards their spouse. If by some miracle the marriage survives, the feelings of love and care will not.

 Flat-out ignoring Ephesian’s 5:21-

 Most Christians are very aware of the commands given to husbands and wives in Ephesians 5:22-33. Women are told to submit to their husbands and husbands are commanded to love their wives. It’s all good stuff. What most Christians don’t know is that the verse directly preceding those verses (Ephesians 5:21) tells spouses to “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” because its given first, its a prerequisite for applying the verses that follow. Mutual submission is the practice of adopting an attitude of mutual cooperation and compromise in all things. Submitting to one another in marriage may mean having sex more often than you would prefer or doing chores that don’t necessarily appeal to you after a long day at work. Mutual submission means giving rather than taking and refusing to hold a grudge when you don’t get what you want (Hebrews 12:15, Matthew 6:15). Without an attitude of mutual submission the other commands given in the Ephesians passage become more about gritting your teeth to get through it rather than living out the love of Jesus.  

 A refusal to be transformed-

 Marriage has been called “the ultimate growth opportunity” and it is, as long as both parties are willing to hear uncomfortable truths about themselves and then work on their junk. Truth-be-told Christians are more capable of growth and change than any other people on earth because they have Holy Spirit helping them and guiding them in all truth (Romans 12, 2nd Corinthians 3:18). When a Christian refuses change ultimately they are choosing to be disobedient to the Holy Spirit. An incredibly foolish act, indicating an epic level of spiritual and emotional immaturity.

 An incredibly wise pastor friend once told me: “any two reasonably mature Christians can make a marriage work if they are BOTH willing to put in the necessary effort.” He understood a truth that can be a game changer in relationships: divorce is unnecessary if both parties are willing to die to self and submit to God. When that happens anything is possible in a relationship. Dead things come to life and families are transformed into trophies of God’s grace and saving power (Ephesians 1:18-20).

How to Break Free From the Pull of The World-

Lisa M. PriceLeave a comment

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will~ Romans 12:2 NIV

I recently I wrote a post detailing five indicators you might be a believer who loves the world a little too much (1st John 2:15). I defined “loving the world” as taking our cues about how to live, love and function in this life from the world’s system rather than from the Bible (Romans 12:2).

 Loving the world is spiritually dangerous because it clouds our spiritual judgment and makes it nearly impossible to see life, people, and the circumstances we encounter from God’s perspective. Loving the world causes us to think like the world and adopt the characteristics of the world. When that happens we lose our ability to be the life-giving spiritual force our world urgently needs.

 The only way to effectively combat a worldly mindset is to work aggressively to break the world’s hold on our thinking. Changing our behavior begins with a change in our mindset. Knowing the Bible is key. the Bible gives us valuable insight into how God’s sees issues. However, simply reading the Bible regularly will not necessarily make anyone any less worldly. We also have to alter our behavior to bring it more in line with a biblical worldview.

 Making these five adjustments to our thinking and behavior will make a difference…

 Learning to practice generosity rather than consumption- Acts 4:32-35, Acts 2:42-47, 1st Peter 4:9, Hebrews 13:2

 The world system teaches us to maintain emotional distance from people and use resources such as our time, possessions, energy and money for our own benefit and pleasure. The New Testament urges Christians live life with an open heart and to give with an open-hand. Until we learn to freely give of our resources and our time we will remain forever stuck in a worldly mindset.

 Breaking the hold of worldly entertainment- Psalm 119:37, Job 31:1

 The entertainment industry wants more than anything to change the way we think about the world. It has been wildly effective at accomplishing that agenda. The abolitionist movement in America succeeded in ending slavery partly because leaders of the movement used powerful novels like Uncle Tom’s Cabin and Twelve Years a Slave to change the way the average person thought about slavery. Hollywood does the same thing with equal success for far less noble causes. Television shows with storylines about divorce, single motherhood and homosexuality preceded widespread acceptance of those practices in our culture. Next time you watch a television show, try and figure out what sin the producers are attempting to normalize. Then turn off the T.V. and go read a good book or hangout with your friends or family.

 Living out a biblical standard of sexuality- 1st Thessalonians 4:1-8

 Sexual immorality is a sin that is in a class all its own, mainly because it’s exceptionally damaging to all parties involved. Anytime we commit sexual sin, we sin against God, other people and we pollute our own bodies (1st Corinthians 6:18) all at the same time. Sexual immorality is placed at the top of a list of sins that God states will keep a person from inheriting kingdom (1st Corinthians 6:9-10). For those reasons (and a dozen others) Christians need to stop searching for loopholes in the rules. God cannot be tricked (Galatians 6:7). Sex before marriage is still sex before marriage. Viewing pornography is sex and emotional affairs inevitably lead to sex outside of marriage. Our lack of obedience in this one area has caused the church to lose all moral authority in the culture. We will only get it back through a commitment to repentance, purity and doing life God’s way.

 Callously rooting out sin in our own lives- John 5:14, 1st Corinthians 15:34

 Sin is a pernicious thing. It creeps into our lives, oftentimes without our awareness or consent. The only way to combat sin’s encroachment into our lives is by asking God daily to reveal the sins we do not see in ourselves and then repenting (turning away from) the sin we do recognize in our selves.

 Praying about everything- Ephesians 6:18, Philippians 4:6, Colossians 4:2

 Nothing is too big or too small to talk to God about. Without the discipline of prayer we inevitably lose connection with God and unwittingly open ourselves up to the influence of the world. Prayer safeguards us against worldly thinking by reminding us that we are not wise enough to do life without God.

 Rooting out worldly thinking and behavior in our lives is not an optional exercise or an elective spiritual discipline—it’s a matter of spiritual life and death.

How do we “Love the World”?

Lisa M. PriceLeave a comment

Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them~ 1st John 2:15 NIV

 I grew up tragically ignorant of all things Christian.

 Following my conversion to Christianity as a young adult, I did my level best to expand my biblical knowledge base. My quest to gain understanding involved a great deal of reading, studying, church attendance, attending Bible studies, Christian conferences and even formal ministry training.

All that frenzied activity helped in some ways but hurt in others. My overall knowledge of the Bible grew. However, it also led me to believe the Bible said some things it actually didn’t say; for example, at one point I was literally shocked to discover that the phrase “be in the world, but not of it” was not actually a Bible verse but rather a pithy saying that became popular sometime around the turn of the 20th century.

The”worldliness” I was warned about as a new Christian was almost entirely focussed on outward appearances: language, clothing choices and entertainment. I was taught Christians were to “look” different and act different from the world and looking different was all about outward behavior.  No one talked about heart attitudes (Matthew 5:8, Matthew 5:28, Matthew 15:18-20). Since those days, the church and the people in it have changed a great deal. There is far less emphasis placed on outward appearances and more of an emphasis placed on the need for Christians to  be authentic and love people unconditionally.

This isn’t a bad thing.

 Loving people pleases Jesus (Matthew 5:44, Mark 12:30-31, John 3:16), at least until our love devolves into sloppy sentimentalism or a focus on feelings rather than the state of a person’s soul. That kind of love is closer to what the Bible calls “loving the world” rather than truly loving people.

 We “love the world” when we take our cues about how to live, love and function from the world’s system rather than from the Bible (Romans 12:2). It’s shockingly easy for Christians to love the world without even knowing it. Following are five ways Christians love the world and leave true faith behind:

 We love the world when we hate on the people in the church-

 Jesus promised us that the world would hate the church (John 15:19). He did not promise that the church would hate its own members. It almost goes without saying that the church in America has some serious issues and is in need of reform. It’s also true that some Christians have driven people away from the church with hypocrisy, perversely high standards, bad attitudes and expectations that cannot be found anywhere in the Bible. However, that does not make it okay for Christians to hate on other Christians, as some have taken to doing. It’s no wonder unbelievers don’t want to give church a chance when Christians are so critical of those in the church.

 We love the world when we refuse to call out sin-

 There is no clearer indicator we have become far too comfortable with the world than when we accept the world’s standard of morality. In many Christian circles it is now considered offensive to even hint that behaviors like divorce, drug use, adultery, homosexuality (1st Timothy 1:9-11), promiscuity and drunkenness (among others) are sinful. The effect of relaxing our standards has been dramatic. Many believers no longer feel shame, or even regret, over actions the Bible clearly calls shameful and society is devolving into a chaotic muddle due to our lack of moral leadership.  

 We love the world when we use love as a cover for inaction or silence regarding the dangers of sin-

 Our current definition of love has morphed into something early Christians never would have imagined. Love has become a justification for silence, spiritual inertia and the tolerance of every kind of evil behavior. We have forgotten that biblical love speaks the truth and tirelessly promotes righteousness (Ephesians 4:15).

 We love the world when we wallow in its behaviors and use “fitting in” as an excuse to continue wallowing-

 Contrary to popular belief, the Bible does not call Christians to “fit into” society (Romans 12:2). Christians are told to stand out and be different, at times to the point of peculiarity (1st Peter 2:9). The moment we begin to conform to the world, we cease to be effective at what God has called us to do (Matthew 28:16-20, Matthew 5:13-16)

And finally, 

We really show our love for the world when we make our entertainment choices an idol we refuse to let go of.  There was a time in the recent past when most Christians shunned secular entertainment out of fear that it would adversely affect their behavior and attitudes. They feared worldly entertainment would make them too much like “the world”. For the most part, Christians have lost that fear and now the people in the church look more like the people in the world than at any other time in church history. We need to start being real with ourselves about what we’re watching and how it affects our ability to think and reason in a Christian way. If we wouldn’t watch a show or movie with Jesus in the room, it won’t make us any more spiritual or bring us any closer to Jesus and it probably needs to go.

 

 

 

 

 

Another Steaming Pile of Subversive Crap-

Lisa M. PriceLeave a comment

 So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days.  Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do~ Ephesians 5:15-17 NLT

Reader warning:

The subject matter of this post is not a topic I would typically choose to discuss and I apologize in advance for the rawness of the subject matter. It is not my intention to shock or offend, there is simply no polite way to discuss this issue. I had a long debate with myself (I do that sometimes) about whether or not to even address this issue (mostly because it’s kind of icky and offensive). In the end I decided it was wrong not to address an issue that has such deep ramifications for our culture.

 Teen Vogue (a magazine for girls between 11 and 17) won the cultural race to the bottom this month when they featured a graphic how-to on anal sex aimed at teenage girls. The article presented heterosexual anal sex in the most positive terms imaginable. Which is odd considering the fact that even the dependably progressive cheerleaders for teen sex and unfettered abortion at the Alan Guttmacher Institute have nothing positive to say about the practice.

 Not a word was spoken concerning the risks associated with anal sex, although the Alan Guttmacher Institute stresses in their literature that anal sex is an extremely risky behavior. Short-term risks include extreme pain and anxiety during sex, emotional trauma after, and anal tearing (sometimes requiring surgery to repair). Long-term risks include an increased risk of anal cancer, a 17 times greater risk of contracting HIV from an infected partner and fecal incontinence (and yes, that means exactly what you think it means).

 Understand that I am not judging or attempting to dictate what consenting adults do privately. That is simply none of my business. However, I cannot help but think that a list of the potential medical risks would be relevant information to include in an article concerning a demonstrably risky sexual practice. It seems to me that even consenting adults would value that information and are in fact entitled to receive it. .

 I believe the Teen Vogue article exposes some seriously ugly truths concerning our civilization (I use that term loosely). Most notably, it clearly reveals that we are not a society that cares about the heath and welfare of women, especially young women.

 The woman assumes virtually all the risk during anal sex. Yet Teen Vogue did not see fit to warn their readers concerning any of the risks involved in this type of sex. Teen Vogue also neglected to mention the violence that frequently surrounds this sexual practice. A study done by the Alan Guttmacher Institute reveals that 25% of women who participated in anal sex admitted to being forced into it at least once. Sadly, this is not the only topic where sex educators and progressives display an obvious lack of concern for the psychological, emotional and physical welfare of women.

 Abortion is another situation where the man benefits (by walking away from the moral and financial responsibility of parenthood) while the woman is left dealing with the potential physical and emotional consequences of the procedure. Those risks include distress during and following the abortion, bowel and bladder perforation, infection, cervical laceration, hemorrhage, infertility and depression.

 Sadly, progressives typically present abortion as a sanitary, beautiful and necessary equalizer and liberator for women. No one ever mentions that abortion is just another avenue for men to escape the responsibilities of their sexual choices.

 The very existence of a magazine like Teen Vogue reveals a disturbing lack of good sense on the part of too many parents in this country. When my oldest daughter was a young teen (and asking to read Teen Vogue) I paid a visit to the local library and read through a couple of issues of both Teen Vogue and Seventeen Magazine. As a result I was not at all surprised to learn Teen Vogue had published a how-to on anal sex.

 I am thunderstruck that there is a parent alive who would voluntarily shell out their hard-earned cash for even a single copy of that steaming pile of subversive crap (feel free to insert a stronger word here if your theology will allow it).

 Seriously.

 Parents who choose to purchase this or any other magazine for their children without carefully reading through it first are hopelessly naïve and doubtless contributing to the moral downfall of their children. Parents in this country need to wake up and recognize the ugly truth that the publishing industry is plagued with unscrupulous, amoral people who do not care about the spiritual health of our children.

 Christians must commit to praying daily for revival and a return to our collective senses. As a culture we have moved away from God and even the most basic of truths and as a result we have become the most pitiable kind of fools. Fools who promote dangerous practices for no good purpose other than to corrupt the hearts and minds of the most vulnerable among us.

 Judgment cannot be far off.

  

 

 

Why Aren’t we Connecting in Church?

Lisa M. PriceLeave a comment

 All those who had believed were together and had all things in common. They were taking their meals together with gladness and sincerity of heart, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord was adding to their number day by day those who were being saved~ Acts 2:44a, 46b, and 47 NIV

 Connecting people is a passion of mine.

 I have worked at churches doing Connections and 1st Impressions ministry. But long before all that, I noticed the people most likely to stick around a Church or a group in a church were those who felt deeply connected to the people in the church or church group.

 The high school kids who had friends in the Sunday school class I taught were the ones who showed up week after week regardless of what I was teaching. I learned early on that if I could help a woman make a friend in the Bible study I was leading, the chances were pretty good that woman would come back and sometimes she would even bring a friend.

 Legitimate research has backed up my observations.

 Research done by Thom Ranier reveals that roughly half (49%) of all people stay in their current church because they have a deep connection to the people in the church. According to some of my own less-than-legitimate research (asking a bunch of nosy questions about why people stayed in or left their church) the number two reason people gave for leaving a church (number one was weak or shady leadership) was lack of connection to people.

 Even the most introverted of human beings were created to connect with one another. It’s a fundamental part of who we are and a reflection of God’s image in us (Genesis 1:26-27). Most adults who convert to Christianity do so within the context of friendship. Many who began attending church looking for friendships have found Jesus in the process.

 Hospitality and developing healthy relationships is a basic and often overlooked aspect of evangelism and we all bear some responsibility for the task. We build healthy groups churches by doing five simple things consistently.

 First:

 Show up-

 Sadly, in my experience many of the same people who attend services once or twice a month also grumble about not feeling a sense of belonging in their church. No one in the history of forever has ever grown spiritually, made a friend or become a functioning part of a church body without first committing to consistently attending a weekly church service (Hebrews 10:25).

 Join a small group-

 The group can be an adult Sunday school class, weekday Bible study or a small group that meets in a home. Go and do more than just show-up. Show-up early, stay late, participate in the discussions and invite people in the group into your home, your heart, and your inner circle (John 13:34-35). Do everything you can to make the group you’re a part of into a family and then encourage new people to become a part of the family (1st Corinthians 12:28).

 Be real-

 God only made one you. Being authentic about who you are and what you’ve experienced (without being excessively detailed or graphic) is honoring to God and can be useful (if it’s done right) to those who are struggling on their spiritual journey (2nd Corinthians 1:3-4).

 Don’t judge others for being real-

 Just don’t. Judgment destroys community (Romans 12:10, Matthew 7:1-3). Our role as Christians is to encourage, cheer-lead and occasionally correct or redirect in love and with grace (Galatians 6:1, Hebrews 3:13, 2nd Timothy 2:24-26). We must leave judgments to God. He knows more than we ever could. However, it’s equally critical we don’t buy into the lie that correction or redirection is the same thing as judgment. Lovingly correcting sinful or spiritually dubious behavior is NOT the same as judging. Correction is biblical AND necessary in a healthy Christian community (James 1:21, James 5:20).

 Use the gifts you have-

 My fondest wish for every Christian on earth would be for them to know and use their gifts to grow their local church (Ephesians 2:10, Romans 12:6-11). Sadly, many Christians have all but stopped serving and churches are dying as a result of our disobedience. Volunteering to teach a class, hosting a group in your home, baking cookies for VBS or serving on the greeting team or in the food pantry is about more than filling a spot. It’s about bonding with other believers, building community and being the hands and feet of Jesus in our broken and hurting world (Matthew 25:44-46).  

 And finally don’t close your circle. Building connections with people is both horribly complex and enormously rewarding. Keeping our hearts open to people and finding creative ways to meet their needs is one of the most significant and basic ways we serve God (1st Peter 4:9). It’s also the only way to build and be a part of a healthy Christian community.

Let’s Talk About Sex-

Lisa M. PriceLeave a comment

It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God~ 1st Thessalonians 4: 3-5 NIV

Sex and gender are not topics our culture shies away from.

 Public education has determined children as young as 3 should be exposed (no pun intended) to comprehensive sex education. This inevitably involves teaching the youngest of children all about the ever growing “gender spectrum”.

 Sexting (sending sexually explicit photos over text) is a common practice among middle school and even some elementary age kids. Teens are routinely encouraged to have as much sex as they can with as many people as possible as long as the sex is “safe”. In an effort to advance the objective of lots and lots of safe sex, condoms are available free of charge in most high schools. The morning after pill (a contraceptive designed to end a pregnancy) can be purchased from vending machines on most college campuses.

 Apparently even the older generation (65+) has hopped on the “if it feels good do it” bandwagon. The CDC reports syphilis infections have risen 52% and Chlamydia infections have risen 32% among senior citizens.

Yuck.

 Clearly our culture is obsessed with sex.

 Sex is an idol we worship in this culture and the lies we believe about sex are quickly leading us into a hell we will never crawl out of unless we start telling ourselves the truth and walking in that truth promptly. Walking in truth begins with pinpointing lies that have led us astray. I do not pretend to know everything there is to know about this subject. However I do know that the following five beliefs are lies many in our culture (including many Christians) have come to believe.

 Beginning with…

 Our personhood is defined by who we have sex with-

 Our culture has reached a place never seen before in human history. Many of us now define ourselves based entirely on whom we have sex with. It is now routine to divulge whether or not one is gay, straight, trans, bisexual, binary-trans, undecided, etc. as a form of introduction. This lunacy has led many to think that individuals ought to be granted special privileges, recognition and even accolades based entirely on what they do with their most private of parts. The peculiar crusade to define people based entirely on their sexual preferences has caused us to forget that sexuality is small a part of who we are, not the full manifestation of what makes us human. Even many Christians seem to have forgotten we are made in the image of a God who does not have sex and that Jesus was the fullest expression of humanity who ever lived and He did not have sex.

 Little boys grow up to be little girls (and vice-versa)-

  If a person is born a biological male or a biological female then they are the gender they were assigned at conception. Period. Hormones, “gender reassignment surgery” or a change of clothes cannot change DNA (Genesis 1:27). Period. There simply is no such thing as a male trapped in a female body or vice-versa. Some might FEEL they were born the “wrong gender” but that is an altogether different situation (I have nothing but sympathy for such people). That said, it is an act of madness to encourage confused people to believe delusions regarding anything including their gender.

 Pornography is victimless-

 Exposure to pornography changes the way we view the opposite sex. It causes us to see individuals (who were made in the image of God) as objects that we might gain the basest form of gratification from. So, in a sense, we are all victims of pornography. Pornography also feeds the prostitution industry. Most prostitutes are not prostitutes by choice. They are poorly treated slaves forced to have sex with up to dozens of people a day.

 Sexual preferences are hardwired-

 We are not “hardwired” at birth to make specific sexual choices (1st Corinthians 6:9-11). We might be born with a tendency or experience situations in childhood that produce sinful preferences (adultery, pedophilia, homosexuality, promiscuity). However, the decision to act on any inclinations we might have is a choice we are responsible for.   

 Love legitimizes sex-

 Most secular cultures in the past placed restrictions around sex that had little do with love because preceding generations were wise enough to understand that love is a fickle and often fleeting emotion. Those cultures understood that sex outside the confines of a committed marriage create confusion and heartache for individuals and trouble for society in the long run.

When in its proper place, sex is a positive, healthy and beneficial thing. It establishes and grows intimacy while perpetuating the human race. Outside of its proper place sex becomes a harsh and ugly idol that demands more and more of who we are while giving us nothing but brokenness and humiliation in return.

It’s time to put sex back in its proper place before we self-destruct.

Ending Political Hate-

Lisa M. Price5 Comments

Every kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and every city or household divided against itself will not stand~ Matthew 12:25b NIV

 My husband jokes that I grew up in a family that argued politics for the sport of it.

 His assessment is not all that far off.

 My parents were politically liberal. They grieved openly when they discovered I had registered as a Republican. However, they recovered slightly when I changed my affiliation to Independent. Both of them were intensely interested in all things political. We watched the news every single night while I was growing up. No matter how tight the family budget got there was always enough money for a newspaper subscription.

 Sometimes at the dinner table my Dad would explain both sides of a political issue to us kids and then have us debate our political viewpoint with him and each other. Thanks to my parents, I am a weird political junkie. To this day nothing makes me feel warmer, fuzzier, or more alive than a robust political debate or the drama that surrounds a presidential election year.

 I am no sissy when it comes to spirited political discourse. I have no problem hearing someone else’s point of view (even if I happen to think it’s utterly stupid and morally bankrupt). I was raised with a deep respect for the 1st Amendment and I will defend the right of anyone to say anything, even if I believe with every fiber of my being that their view is senseless and worthy of mockery.

 However.

 For the first time in my life I am deeply disturbed by the political discourse I’m hearing. Even “hard” journalists working for legitimate news outlets have taken to making inflammatory statements that would not have met the editorial “standards” of even the cheesiest tabloid opinion page a decade ago. Some of those statements ought to scare anyone with any sense at all, liberal or conservative.

 Two weeks ago an armed gunman (unhinged lunatic and Bernie Sanders disciple) attacked a group of unarmed Republican lawmakers during a baseball practice. Before he began shooting he was careful to confirm the lawmakers were indeed Republicans. Four legislators and one lobbyist were shot; one nearly died.

 America grieved for roughly fifteen minutes before things got weird and nasty. Newscasters blamed the Republicans who were attacked for being attacked. One well-known (and respected) journalist from CBS called the shooting “a self-inflicted wound”. Others said on-air (and no I’m not kidding) that Republicans deserved what they got for being opposed to gay marriage and not standing with the group Black Lives Matter.

 Sadly, this is not the only example of anti-conservative bias. Newscasters habitually refer to Trump as a “chump”, “fascist” “lunatic” “boob” “racist” and “loser”. Actors have taken to musing about assassinating the President while audiences cheer.

 Words like “revolution” “resist” and “obstruct” have become the petulant war cry of mollycoddled middle-class snowflakes and politicians that howl about and sometimes even riot against all things conservative and capitalist. These folks appear to be blissfully ignorant of the fact that their cushy and sheltered existence is a direct result of the system they claim to loathe.

 Perhaps the most telling indicator of our discord is revealed by fact that 29% of liberals and 8% of conservatives have blocked or un-friended someone on social media because of their political views. Most liberals and some conservatives admit they cannot imagine sharing a meal with someone whose political views differ from their own.

 We’ve become a house divided, and we will not stand, unless we make some smart changes fast.

 We need to recognize that it’s risky to call for a revolution unless one is actually needed. Recent history gives some alarming examples of what can happen in nations (Yugoslavia, Venezuela, Cambodia, Cuba) where socialists and rabble-rousers have screamed for revolution. Revolutions are messy, dangerous things that seldom end well. Never once in the history of forever has a heart or mind been changed by force. As a result, revolutions typically require a lot of killing to accomplish any significant social or economic transformation.

 We don’t need a revolution.

 We need people with common sense to stand-up and peacefully end the verbal madness before it escalates into something significantly scarier. Folks need to write letters to corporations that advertise on television networks where the vitriol has gotten out of hand and ask them politely to stop supporting the hate.

 If they refuse we should quietly stop purchasing their products.

 Legislators who have hopped on the “obstruct” “resist” “revolt” and hate for the sake of hating bandwagons need to be besieged with phone calls, e-mails and letters demanding they dial down the hate and get back to doing the work they are paid quite well to do.

 We also need a revival.

 And not just in the religious sense (although that almost goes without saying). We need a revival of common sense, common decency and common courtesy. We need a revival of people who use logic to draw conclusions rather than unrestrained emotion, we need people who will listen more than they talk and actually hear the other side out.

 But mostly we need people who will look to God rather than government for answers.  

The Problems Pride Creates-

Lisa M. PriceLeave a comment

 But when his heart became arrogant and hardened with pride, he was deposed from his royal throne and stripped of his glory~ Daniel 5:20 NIV

 Pride.

It’s weird.

 A tiny amount of the right kind of pride is actually a good and healthy thing (Romans 11:13, 2nd Corinthians 7:4, Galatians 6:4). However, even a smidgen of the wrong kind is a really terrible thing (Proverbs 16:18, Proverbs 13:10). Even too much of the right kind of pride can quickly become a really awful thing (1st Corinthians 8:1). Pride is the sin that transformed Lucifer (the Grand Poobah of angels) into Satan. 

Yikes.

 The thing about pride is it’s weirdly easy to spot in others but super hard to see in ourselves. The more of a problem we have with pride the less likely we are to believe we have a problem with it. The biggest problem with pride is that it causes us to think we are better and smarter than we really are. It also keeps us from seeking the God who has the power to actually make us better and smarter than we really are. Without question, the scariest thing about pride is that it can destroy a person without them ever even knowing they have a problem.

Yikes.

 There is little in this world God is more opposed to than pride. He has nothing good to say about it. Seriously. Literally, nothing.  Therefore Christians should regularly examine themselves to see if they have an issue with pride. When a God who defines Himself as love (1st John 4:8) says He hates something (Proverbs 8:13) we ought to do everything within our power to avoid getting tangled up in that thing. Pride typically manifests itself in one or more of the following tendencies:

 You refuse to take advice from anyone you view as less successful or feel is less intelligent than you are-

 One sure sign of pride is believing the only people who have anything to offer in the way of advice or counsel are those who are more successful than we are. While, I do not necessarily recommend seeking career advice from the pizza guy (unless, of course, you’re also a pizza guy), that does not mean the pizza guy doesn’t have some spiritual, moral or practical wisdom to impart.

 You rarely apologize or admit wrong-

 This is a biggie. If you can’t say you’re sorry even when it’s painfully obvious you have reason to be, trust me. You have a problem with the potential to destroy you.

 Everybody else’s sin is a bigger deal than your own-

 Prideful people constantly compare their sins to the sins of others. The problem with grading personal holiness on a bell curve is that it is never difficult to find SOMEONE who is more sinful than you are. It’s critical we remember God does not want us to be like other people. God wants us to want to be like Jesus.

 You refuse to go to Church-

 There are at least a million excuses for not going to church. Some of the more popular include “church is boring”, “the people are too judgmental” “our family is super busy”, “the kids have sports” “the music is too girly/too hard to sing along with/too loud/too old/too new” and “the pastor is an idiot/talks over my head/is a hypocrite”. At the heart of most spiritual excuse making is a lack of willingness to submit to the spiritual leadership of others and/or a sinful desire to completely control our intake of spiritual food.

 You refuse to forgive-

 It takes humility to forgive others, because at the heart of forgiveness is the acknowledgement that we ourselves are far from perfect. Humble people forgive because they recognize their own desperate need for forgiveness. Prideful people rarely (if ever) acknowledge their own sinfulness and therefore have a tough time forgiving others and letting go of grudges.

 You’re sure you understand all the facts all the time-

 Prideful people tend to think they have the inside track when it comes to understanding the motives and actions of everyone around them. The truth is most of us know a whole lot less than we think we know about why people do what they do. There is nothing wrong or sinful about judging the rightness or wrongness of a person’s actions (Luke 12:57, Acts 4:19, 1st Corinthians 5:12). However, motives are an altogether different issue. Only God knows the inner workings of the human heart. The best policy where motives are concerned is to assume good intent and leave the judging of motives to God (1st Corinthians 4:5).

 The only way to deal with pride is through brutal self-honesty, constant self-reflection (2nd Corinthians 13:5) and a heartfelt commitment to making real and lasting changes in the way we view others and ourselves. Dealing with our pride is worth any effort it takes because God promises grace, spiritual power and peace to the humble in heart (James 4:6, James 4:10, Luke 14:11, 1st Peter 5:5-6).

 

 

 

 

Four Keys to Staying Sane when Life Hits You with an Unexpected Curveball-

Lisa M. PriceLeave a comment

My days have passed, my plans are shattered. Yet the desires of my heart turn night into day; in the face of the darkness light is near~ Job 17:11-12 NIV

 Regular readers of this blog know that I typically write out of my own personal experience and only very rarely tell the stories of others. There are numerous reasons for my reluctance to tell other people’s stories.

 First, I feel really weird telling other people’s stories and I really hate feeling weird. I also worry excessively (probably neurotically) about violating the privacy of others. Moreover, I only know what I know, not what other people know, so I am reluctant to assign motives to others and it’s hard to tell some stories without assigning motives. And finally, I avoid offending others unnecessarily and there is no quicker route to provoking an offense than to tell someone else’s story and get it wrong or to assign the wrong motives.

 Sigh.

 All that being said, this week I feel inclined to share what I gleaned from watching someone else live out a really unpleasant chapter of their story with honesty and grace.

 I have a close friend who has been through more tough stuff in the course of the last two weeks than one could reasonably expect to experience in a decade of living. In the interest of protecting my friend’s privacy, I will spare you the nitty-gritty details of her private hell. I will tell you that the situation manifested itself suddenly and with no warning. Within days it morphed into the kind of nightmare we all secretly fear will happen to us and pray never does.

 Life has hit my sweet and strong friend with some nasty curveballs in recent days.

 I define a curveball as any situation we were not expecting that abruptly alters our life in an unpleasant and unanticipated way. Curveballs are frustratingly common in this life. No one, no matter how well they manage their personal affairs, makes it through this life without experiencing at least one season of curveballs.

 Curveballs come in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes they come in the form of an unforeseen job loss, a financial or health crisis, divorce, affair, or the death of a loved one. In truth, the details of said situation matter less than how we handle them.

 Today I am going to share four strategies for managing the curveballs of life I picked-up from observing my friend this week.

First:

 Run to God rather than away from Him-

 Alas, the first instinct many of us have when trouble strikes is to get mad at God. We do this because logic tells us that God is the omnipotent maker of the universe and if anyone is capable of preventing trouble, it’s God. While that may be true, it ignores a couple of vital truths. First and foremost, trouble and hardship are a sad but inescapable consequence of living in a fallen world (John 16:33). Even Jesus experienced hardship and trouble in this life (Hebrews 2:10). Secondly, God wants to be there for us and give us comfort in the midst of our trials. And finally, God sometimes uses hardship and trouble to shape us into the people He has called us to be and to prepare us to minister effectively to others. God cannot do any of the things He wants to do in us or for us if we push Him away in anger.

 Accept help-

 God does some of His best work through His people. Anytime someone offers to help in a crisis we should view that person as the hand of God reaching out to offer practical support in our time of need. It’s essential we take the help that’s offered.

 Own what you need to own-

 With a few notable exceptions, curveballs rarely just appear out of nowhere. Many times, there’s a history of choices that led up to the life-altering mess. It’s crucial we take responsibility for any part we may have played in creating the situation that led up to the curveball. Taking ownership of mistakes and failings keeps us from blaming God and will ultimately set the stage for us to make better and wiser choices in the future.  

And finally:

 Find someone you trust and be as real as you need to be about how you feel. Talking is the ONLY way to stay sane in a curveball situation. Sadly, we simply cannot be honest with everyone because not everyone is worthy of trust or equipped to deal with the negative emotions that accompany a curveball. So find the one or two people who will listen, pray, and offer wise counsel without judging and share what you need to share to preserve your sanity.

 

 

  

 

 

Should Christians and Non-Christians be Friends?

Lisa M. Price5 Comments

 Do not be misled: Bad company corrupts good character~ 1st Corinthians 15:33 NIV

 I subscribe to a number of Christian leadership blogs, podcasts and websites. Most of the stuff I subscribe to is pretty good. A few are hit or miss and one or two are just kind of meh. The best ones consistently tackle issues I have never thought very deeply about, challenge my biases, and help me think more imaginatively about problem solving. The not-so-great ones tend to hit on the same dozen or so issues over and over again and never really give any answers, just raise a lot questions.

 Over the course of the last couple of years, I have noted a clear trend regarding the subject matter of many of the blogs I subscribe to. All of them have been encouraging Christians to be bolder in their pursuit of authentic and meaningful friendships with sinners (their word, not mine). A few have openly scolded other Christians for not having and pursuing more intimate friendships with non-Christians. Every article I’ve read on the subject holds Jesus up as the example we ought to follow when it comes to pursuing friendships with “sinners”.

For the record, I believe with all my heart Christians ought to pursue friendships with non-Christian people (more on that later). However, I am convinced this teaching trend has become dangerously unbalanced because it presumes without offering cautions.

 I will begin with the presumptions.

 The most common presumption is that Jesus spent most or all of His time just chilling with sinners. To hear many pastors and teachers tell it, Jesus spent every moment of His life on earth at the local bars, crack houses and brothels hugging and high-fiving the local riff-raff.  

 He didn’t.

 A careful reading of the gospels reveals that Jesus did indeed attend events and parties where “sinners” were present (a very big deal in His world). We also know that Jesus was kind and welcoming to everyone (including sinners) and He definitely wasn’t shy about interacting with sinners or building meaningful relationships with very messed-up people (Luke 19:1-9, John 4). However, that was one part of His over-all ministry. Jesus spent most of His time with the twelve disciples and others (Luke 8:1-3, Luke 10:1) who were interested in following Jesus and learning to live a holy life.

 The second assumption many make is that the culture Jesus ministered in was exactly like the culture we live in.

Its’ simply not true.

Jesus lived in and ministered to a predominately Jewish culture where even the most messed-up “sinners” understood exactly what the Bible had to say about sin (John 4, Luke 9:1-9). This meant that the pre-evangelistic work of helping folks recognize the reality that they are sinners in need of redemption was done long before they came into contact with Jesus. We live in a post-Christian/atheistic culture where few people know or care about what the Bible has to say about much of anything. Even fewer feel guilt or remorse over their behavior. This difference is subtle and may seem trivial. However, it’s a difference that dramatically affects the dynamics of interacting with non-Christians. At the very least it makes spiritually productive conversations more difficult, and relationships trickier to navigate.

 And finally:

Some are assuming we are all a heck of lot more like Jesus than we actually are. Jesus was the perfect, sinless Son of God on a mission to save the world from the bondage and consequences of sin.

We are not Jesus.

 Even in our redeemed state we are still people who possess a sin nature (1st John 1:8). We are people who have been saved by the kindness and mercy of  a seriously benevolent God and nothing else (Ephesians 2:9). We are also people who have been commanded by a holy God to live a life of purity, holiness and righteousness (1st Corinthians 1:2, Ephesians 5:3, 1st Thessalonians 4:7, 1st Peter 1:14-16, Hebrews 12:14). Our calling to holiness is sometimes made more difficult by our choice of friendships (Proverbs 13:20, Psalm 1, 1st Corinthians 15:33).

 All that being said, I still really believe Christians ought to be intentional about seeking out friendships with non-Christian people. People have to be led to Jesus and the only way that will happen in this culture will be through cultivating relationships. However, we need to initiate relationships with non-Christian people wisely and prayerfully, keeping two truths firmly in mind.

 First, the Bible warns us repeatedly concerning the dangers of spending an inappropriate amount of time around those who may tempt us to sin (Jude 22, 2nd Corinthians 6:14-15, 1st John 2:15-16). Secondly, we need to remember that we will NEVER lead anyone to Jesus if we make a habit out of sinning with them.