Tag: Sex

How can Christians deal Effectively with the Gender Madness Sweeping our World?

Lisa M. Price4 Comments

Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them- Genesis 1:26a-27 NIV

Like every human over the age of forty, I have witnessed a great deal of change over my lifetime. Some of these changes have been wonderful, others meh and some others have been simply awful. It’s fair to say that no area of human society has seen more change in the last two decades than the areas of gender and sexual expression.

Back in the day, there were men and woman.

Those two options pretty much covered the scope and scale of the gender spectrum. A man might have wished he was a woman or dressed like a woman but all of society would have agreed that if a human was born with a penis that was all the evidence needed to declare the person a man.  There were women who impersonated men but it never occurred to anyone that a woman behaving like a man might actually be a man. How one chose to express their sexuality (gay, straight, bi-sexual) had no bearing on whether or not a person was male or female. Gender was determined by this thing called biology. 

Biology is so 1955.

There is now a whole gender spectrum to choose from. Among the plethora of options, one can now be male, female, androgynous, transgender, gender queer, non-binary, gay, straight, bi-sexual, pansexual, asexual, gay trans, bi-sexual-trans, binary trans, gender questioning and gender fluid. 

Sigh. 

For all sorts of really rational reasons average Christians have struggled to address this issue in a logical, respectful and kind way. It’s a difficult issue to wrap our minds around. Further complicating the whole messy muddle any objection to or questioning of the gender spectrum is perceived by most non-Christians and some Christians as transphobic, homophobic, regressive and mean. Consequently, Christians have either ignored the problem altogether, avoided discussing it outside of Christian circles or ridiculed the whole situation openly. Regrettably, none of the aforementioned strategies actually do anything to help Christians act as salt and light in our increasingly confused and broken world (Matthew 5:13-16). 

Ephesians 6:14 commands Christians to stand against evil ideas. In order to do that we have to understand from a biblical perspective what’s wrong with a particular philosophy and where it will likely lead us. 

The gender spectrum is clearly one of the Satanic schemes the Bible warns us about (Ephesians 6:11, 1st Peter 5:8). The notion that there is a gender smorgasbord out there with dozens of different options from which to choose from is an assault on God’s design. It is also a direct contradiction to God’s assertion that He created human beings as male and female only (Genesis 1:27). Among other things, this particular assault is intended to generate doubt concerning the goodness and truthfulness of God in the minds of people who are struggling with questions regarding sex, sexuality and gender. It’s critical we remember Satan has been planting doubt concerning the goodness and truthfulness of God since the dawn of the human race (Genesis 3:1) 

Human beings were made for connection with God (Genesis 3:8). It’s inherent in our design. Because most in our culture have rejected the Creator gender identity and sexuality have become a strange form of religious expression for those who have spurned belief in God (Romans 1:24-32). This explains the peculiar post-modern practice of folks introducing themselves by stating their name, sexual orientation and gender identity. Sexuality and gender give their life meaning and is where they find their identity. 

This turn of events ought to break our hearts because it breaks God’s heart, It should not drive us to despair or hateful rhetoric. Rather, we should be overwhelmed with grief for a generation that has lost its way morally, spiritually and sexually. There are six practical things Christians can do to help lead our culture come back to a healthier understanding of sexuality and gender and back into right relationship with God. 

We must:

Love our neighbors- 

We should look for ways to love everyone, even those super messy people who freak us out a little bit. We must search for ways to engage people who are different from us. The engagement must be done in a spirit of both truth and love. It helps no one when we bend our beliefs to placate the culture. That being said, people need to know there is God who loves them beyond measure who wants to free them from the spiritual and sexual bondage they’ve gotten themselves into.   

Pray for revival-

It almost goes without saying our world has problems that cannot and will not be solved using human methods. We have fallen too far down the proverbial rabbit hole. We supernatural intervention. Stat. Prayer is the only way to get the intervention we need (Ephesians 6:18, 1st Thessalonians 5:17). Prayer has the power to transform unbelievers and give believers the spiritual power needed to love the lost and hurting. Christians are commanded to make a practice of praying for everyone all the time. If your church has a regularly scheduled prayer time, go and pray. If your church does not have a scheduled prayer time consider starting one in your home. Invite your friends and begin by praying for revival. When people truly get right with God their view of gender and sexuality will align with what the Bible says about these issues.  

Model healthy families-

It has never been more critical for Christians to have healthy, functional family units. The world needs to see families where men protect and nurture their wives and children and where women respect their husbands and make mothering children a priority.

Celebrate the differences between men and women-

God made men and women and different from each other. The diversity in the created order is a beautiful thing that deserves celebration because both men and women reflect the image of God in different ways (Genesis 1:27) Little boys should be told it’s a good and special thing to be a boy and little girls should be told it’s a beautiful thing to be made female. If we don’t the world will step in and tell them something different.

Stop being weird-

There are Christians who believe it is wrong for men to cook or do housework because it’s “not manly” and an “affront to God”.  Others believe that women should never work outside the home or attend college. There are still Christians who sincerely believe a woman should remain “under the authority “of her Father until she is married. These absurdly antiquated ideas are almost impossible to backup biblically without twisting Scripture and they make Christianity look really weird to non-Christians, weird does nothing for our cause.

Last but not least.

Christians must speak the truth with an attitude of love and grace. Admittedly, this is tricky and difficult. But it must be done. We simply have to find ways to engage people in hard conversations where we tell them the truth in loving tones and with a spirit of humility rather that self-righteousness (Ephesians 4:15). If we can do this we might have a shot of not just changing their minds on gender but also turning their hearts towards Jesus.

Six Rules (Yes Rules) That Keep Christians From Going Totally Sideways In Life-

Lisa M. Price1 Comment

Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Then, whether I come and see you or only hear about you in my absence, I will know that you stand firm in the one Spirit, striving together as one for the faith of the gospel~ Philippians 1:27 NIV  

I am not really much of a rule-follower, in fact I despise them with every fiber of my being.  

That said, there was brief period early-on in my Christian journey when I had a short but ill-fated love affair with legalism. Needless to say, it was not my finest hour. Over time through Bible study, the guidance of a gentle mentor, and some spiritual growth I concluded that laws are intended for law-breakers (1stTimothy 1:9). It is now my firmly held conviction that if Christians would simply seek godly wisdom, follow biblical principles and do what God tells us to do, there would be little need for extra-biblical rules. 

That being said.

Recently, I was thinking about how one person can be incredibly successful from a spiritual perspective while another person in a similar set of circumstances can go completely sideways in every respect (1stTimothy 1:18-19). As I was thinking through the how and why of all that. I came-up with was a list of attitudes and behaviors that spiritually successful people tend to have (Galatians 5:22-23, Colossians 1:9-11). Then I spent an inordinate amount of time trying to come up with a way to express my thoughts without using the “rules” word, mostly because I know rules are  a hot-button issue in some Christian circles.  Ultimately, I decided it was the only word that really made any sense. Sigh. 

Here they are:

Be teachable-

Being teachable is basically just being open to the notion that we might be wrong about something (doctrine, attitudes, beliefs, behaviors). Being teachable means owning it when we are not doing life well or we need help or guidance from other people. Being teachable is the polar opposite of being prideful. Teachable people ask God on a regular basis to reveal their blind spots and the areas of their lives that need work.  Then they ask for help and seek wisdom. Help and wisdom can come in the form of a wise friend, a Christian counselor, Christian books, a pastor or a spiritual mentor. What matters is that we are willing to humble ourselves and ask for it when we need it. 

Be obedient-

There has been some serious misunderstanding regarding obedience and legalism in recent years. For the better part of the 20thcentury the cultural pendulum in church world swung towards extreme legalism.  Beginning in the 1980’s the pendulum began to swing in the extreme opposite direction which eventually landed us where we are at now (extreme worldliness).  The simplest definition of legalism is the practice of adding manmade rules to straightforward biblical commands. For example: Christians are commanded to avoid sexual immorality (sex before marriage, adultery, homosexuality, pornography, prostitution etc.) Christians are NOT told to abstain from dating or told to only practice courtship or to avoid kissing or dancing. It is legalistic (adding to God’s commands) to prohibit dating, dancing or kissing. However, it is clearly NOT legalistic to tell someone to stop hooking-up with strangers or to stop looking at porn (1st Thessalonians 4:3-8, 1st Timothy 1:10, 1st Corinthians 6:8-10, 1st Corinthians 6:15).

Engage the world around you- 

We only get one shot at this life (Hebrews 9:27). Our time here is so short that the Bible refers to human life as a flower that springs up for a season (1st Peter 1:24, Job 14:1-2). Every season of life tends to be shorter than we think it will be. We all have a limited amount of time to be married, parent our children, love our neighbors, pastor our churches, lead the people around us and impact our corner of the world for Jesus.  It would benefit us all to put down our phones, shut off the T.V. and be a lot more intentional about engaging the world and the people in it. Not only would we have a bigger impact on our world we would probably also enjoy our time here more.  

Recognize and run from unhealthy people and situations-

Sadly, in this fallen world there are individuals and situations that can be detrimental to our spiritual and emotional health. Those folks repeatedly take us to a place where we doubt God, lose faith in our ability to do the things God has called us to do and sometimes they even cause us to sin (Matthew 18:6, Luke 17:1). I am not a big supporter of simply cutting people out of our lives without a really good reason. That said, there are situations where a little or in some cases a lot of distance is just wise.

Become a friend of God-

Believe God is who He says He is and that He can do what He says He can do. Get to know Him on a personal level rather than simply acquiring information about Him and God will consider you His friend and even confide in you (Psalm 25:14, James 2:23).   

 Develop people- 

Jesus spent the vast majority of His time helping people to become better and healthier versions of themselves. He wants us to do the same. Make a point of helping friends, strangers, co-workers and subordinates to become the best version of themselves they can become. In the process you will become an improved version of you. 

Five Reasons Christians are not Hitting it outa the Park Right now-

Lisa M. Price1 Comment

Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out and that times of refreshing may come from the Lord~ Acts 3:19 NIV

 The Church should be hitting it out of the park right now.

The dawn of the internet has made the Bible widely available to basically everyone.  There are more solid Christian resources (radio, television, podcasts and books) available to more people in more languages than at any other time in history. Higher rates of literacy mean more people are capable of accessing and making the most of available resources. But, sadly no one could accuse the church of setting the world on fire (metaphorically speaking) at this point in history.

 This means that the church is not completing the one task that Jesus commanded us to accomplish (Matthew 28:16-20). I understand that one very real danger in talking about “the church” in broad terms is that sometimes we forget the church isn’t a building, group of leaders or an institution. The church is people who identify as followers of Jesus (1stCorinthians 12).  So, if the church isn’t getting the job done it means that individual people are the problem rather than some nebulous institution or group of leaders.

 The problems the church is having are not the fault of every person in the church. However, there are too many people in the church who do things or allow things that are simply unacceptable for God’s holy people (Ephesians 5:3-18). The list includes:

Church people have not really dealt with the sin of racism-

 The whole notion that some skin colors, genders or races are somehow superior to others is a weird and sinful social construct that has no place in churches (Colossians 3:11, Galatians 3:28, John 3:16). Every person regardless of race, skin color or gender is both equally loved and equally in need of a savior in God’s eyes. Therefore, prejudice and bigotry have no place in the church. Alas, some church people have failed to really take hold of that message and live it out in their day-to-day lives. The church’s reputation is suffering as a result.  

 Church people do not model healthy male-female relationships-

 I do not understand why a place filled with people who are commanded to practice self-control (Galatians 5:22, Titus 2:11-12, 2nd Peter 1:5) appears to be the only place on earth where men and women cannot work together without things getting decidedly weird. By “weird” I mean sex becoming an issue in some way. Christians have managed to convince themselves that men and women are incapable of actually practicing self-restraint where sex is concerned and this has become a self-fulling prophecy in many Christian circles. We do need to be vigilant concerning the appearance of evil and I know all about the Billy Graham rule (conceived by Billy Graham rather than Jesus). That said, I do not believe separation of men and women in church settings is either biblical or the answer to the problem of sexual immorality in the church. That standard has created at least as many problems as it has solved. It does not require adult Christians to practice self-discipline (a biblical mandate) and because of that standard church people tend to become suspicious anytime they see men and women together (even if they work at the same church). Female opinions have effectively been silenced in the church out of fear that if a woman is near a man who is not her husband sexual sin of some sort will swiftly commence. We must do better. Even the pagans have figured this one out. We should too because it’s hurting our effectiveness and our witness.

  Church people worry about protecting institutions rather than people-

 Too many Christian women have been pressured into staying in marriages that really should have ended (due to sexual sin or physical abuse) because some church leaders care more about the institution of marriage than they do about the woman in said marriage (Micah 2:14-16). Then there are the thousands of children who have been sexually abused and deprived of justice because too many people in the church care more about the institution of the church than the souls of abused kids (James 1:27, Isaiah 10:1-3). Not cool. Not biblical. Not okay.

 Church people tolerate pornography-

 Anytime a Christian man is caught in sexual sin the first question asked is always: “Is it just pornography?”.  Every. Stinkin. Time. The “just” is ALWAYS put in front of the word pornography. As if pornography without some other form of sexual deviancy attached to it is somehow less sinful than other sexual sins (Matthew 5:28). Pornography is every bit as sinful as “having an affair” (maybe even worse) because “having an affair” (unless the sex is with a prostitute) is almost always a consequence of some sort of a problem in the marriage. Affairs rarely occur in a vacuum, something else is always wrong: communication is bad, the couple is not connecting, the couple is unkind to one another, eventually one partner pursues companionship with someone else.  Conversely, pornography and sex with prostitutes is a result of lust, lack of self-discipline and covetousness. I am categorically not stating that an affair is acceptable simply because a person is in a difficult marriage (it doesn’t work that way). I am saying that the church will never have a measurable spiritual impact on the culture unless we deal with the sin of pornography in our own ranks.

 Church people don’t evangelize-

 Seriously, we just don’t. A recent study revealed that forty-seven percent of all millennials actually believe it is wrong to evangelize the lost (Matthew 28:18-20, 1st Peter 3:15). Sadly, very few Christians have ever shared their faith with anyone and sixty-four percent believe that evangelism is an optional activity for Christians. Until we change this one thing we won’t change anything.

There has never been a time in history where it was more important than it is now for Christians to get the Christianity thing right (2nd Timothy 3:1-5, 2nd Timothy 4:3). Not for us but for the world around us (Luke 18:8). None of us have control of what other people do but we do have control over ourselves. If every Christian would commit to making a few changes, to a little more holiness and a little less worldliness we might just start hitting outa the park again. 

Four Weird ways Churches Inadvertently Encourage Sexual sin-

Lisa M. Price3 Comments

Things that cause people to stumble are bound to come, but woe to anyone through whom they come. So, watch yourselves~ Luke 17:1 & 3 NIV

 Most of the stupid things people do are not done deliberately.  Most people just kind of fumble around blindly doing stuff without putting a whole lot of thought into the long-term consequences of their actions.  

 Sadly, this is true of Christians too.   

  Sometimes we make decisions out of impulse or reflex. This unfortunate reality has merged with a tendency to look at what the culture is doing rather than thinking through issues from a Biblical perspective.

 Sadly, these predispositions always play themselves out in one of two equally wrong responses. Either Christians do a “Christian” version of whatever is popular with the culture; or conversely, we go so far in the opposite direction of what the world is doing that we become a peculiar, cartoon-like version of what God intended the Church to be.

 Nowhere is this truer than in the area of sex.

 On one end of the spectrum, there are churches that have lowered their sexual standards in an effort to help unbelievers feel more comfortable in church settings. As a result, these churches have unwittingly adopted the same attitudes towards sex as the unbelieving world. Other Christians have simply embraced a slightly more “Christian” version of the worldly standard. For example: many believers do not care if an engaged couple has sex before marriage (as long they are careful keep it on the down-low). However, these same people are appalled at the mere thought of two Christians living together before marriage.

 On the other end of the spectrum, we have churches whose entire spiritual identity is built around preventing sexual activity of any kind from taking place in the lives of unmarried people. These churches spend more time addressing the spiritual threats of swimsuits, hand-holding and premarital front-hugs than they do discussing salvation and related issues such as repentance and discipleship. This is not only a serious derailment from the churches principal mission (Matthew 28:17-20, 2nd Timothy 2:4, Matthew 10:8). It also makes Christians look like a bunch of sex-obsessed weirdos.  

 Sigh.

 The absurdity of all this aside, the bigger problem with how churches handle sexuality these days is that we actually encourage sexual sin in four ways:

 The church is far too soft on the sin of adultery (especially where men are concerned)-

 The immense pressure placed on Christian women to forgive their cheating husbands simply cannot be overstated. Women are too-often coerced by well-intentioned but ridiculously overeager clergy to forgive their husband’s infidelity and restore the relationship right away. This typically happens long before the woman has processed her grief or the man has demonstrated sincere repentance. This has resulted in a shocking number of Christian men and some women who appear to have no qualms about committing adultery over and over again (Proverbs 6:32). It has also created a sizable group of women and a few men who have been shamed into doing something they are under no biblical obligation to do (Matthew 5:32). Forgiveness is always required of Christians (Matthew 6:15). However, marital reconciliation should only take place if the injured party is truly willing and the adulterer (male or female) has demonstrated sincere repentance and a readiness to grow into a better spouse and Jesus follower.  Anything less simply encourages sinful behavior in the church by minimizing the consequences of sin (1st Corinthians 5:11).

 We do not treat pornography like the sin that it is–

 If I hear one more male Christian leader refer to pornography as “just pornography” I will need to be medicated and/or physically restrained. Sixty-eight percent of Christian men routinely view pornography precisely because it is treated as a lightweight and trivial sin. Choosing to view pornography is not only a categorically icky form of sexual immorality (Hebrews 12:16, Hebrews 13:4). It is also a clear violation of Matthew 5:28. Like most sins, the sin of viewing pornography leads to other sins such as hypocrisy, adultery, dehumanizing others through lust, spiritual and social isolation and sometimes even an inability to perform the “marital duty” (1st Corinthians 7:3).

Sigh. 

 Some churches cover-up pedophilia-

 The Catholic church has gotten a lot of bad press over this issue in recent years. However, it is far from unheard of in Protestant and Evangelical churches.  A valued leader gets accused of touching a child inappropriately and the church decides to deal with the problem “in-house”. At that point the whole messy mess gets swept under the rug or the leader is simply asked to leave the church. This is never okay. When this is happens the leader simply goes somewhere else and more little lives are ruined. Every accusation should be thoroughly investigated by the proper authorities (the Elder or Deacon board is NOT the proper authorities). Yes, this is hard, yes it makes the church look bad but not nearly as bad as it does when the church fails to protect the most vulnerable in a congregation (Luke 17:2, Matthew 25:45). 

 We don’t help young adults to date-

 The Bible is clear that marriage is a noble and necessary thing (Genesis 2:24, Proverbs 18:22, Hebrews 13:4). That being said, for some inexplicable reason there is a ton of shame in the Christian culture surrounding Christians participating in the process of finding a spouse.  Because dating is taboo in many Christian churches most churches do not give Christian kids a lot of instruction on how or who to date and there are literally no opportunities for Christian young people to get to know each other inside the church. As a result, most young people date outside of the church which leads to a lot of missteps (Tinder, bars, campus parties, drunken hook-ups). Those missteps inevitably end in sexual immorality and sometimes even a departure from the faith. Maybe it’s time for churches to be intentional about setting-up opportunities for young Christians from similar denominations to get to know one another so they can get married; rather than shame them for having a natural desire to find a spouse.

Seriously. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Should Anyone ALWAYS be Believed?

Lisa M. PriceLeave a comment

One witness is not enough to convict anyone accused of any crime or offense they may have committed. A matter must be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses~ Deuteronomy 19:15 NIV

 I am a woman and as a woman I have been offended on behalf of women-kind countless times throughout my life.

 I simply do not have the words to describe the level of moral outrage my little nine-year-old-self experienced the day my mother casually informed me that women were not allowed to vote until 1920. As a teenager I was appalled to learn that throughout most of human history women were not thought to be reliable witnesses in most courts of law.  It still makes me angry that women in some Islamic countries are not allowed to drive cars or decide for themselves who they will marry.  

 Because I have been offended on behalf of women-kind more times than I care to recall.  One might be inclined to think that I would be elated with the new line of reasoning that has emerged from the Senatorial Goat Rodeo/Kavanaugh Hearings asserting that women who claim they have been sexually assaulted “should always be believed”. 

 I do not believe women should ever be dismissed out-of-hand when they claim to have been assaulted. Every woman has a right to be heard. Furthermore, I have argued for years that rape is clearly a hate crime and should be charged as such. I believe that reports of sexual assault should be thoroughly investigated and that perpetrators (once it is proven they are actually perpetrators) should be punished for the crimes they have committed.  

 That being said, it is my sincerely held belief that we are setting a dangerous (and quite possibly insane) standard with our sudden insistence that “all women should be believed” regardless of the evidence (or lack thereof).  I am convinced (as a woman) that women should not always be believed for six reasons:

 Women are people-

  I have known a lot of people in my life and I have never known a person (male or female) who could say, without lying they never lie (Psalm 5:9, 1st John 1:10). Even decent people lie on occasion. People lie for a multitude of reasons. Sometimes people lie because telling a lie is less complicated than telling the truth. Sometimes people lie because it benefits them in some way. Sometimes people lie to avoid hurting other people’s feelings. Sometimes people lie to avoid conflicts. Sometimes people lie to inflame conflicts or because telling a lie advances a personal agenda they have. Some people tell lies because they have underlying mental health issues that need to be dealt with. Because it is categorically true that all people lie, at least occasionally. Serious allegations should be thoroughly investigated before anyone (male or female) is simply believed.

 Fairness-

 It is simply unfair to believe one group of people over another group of people simply because of their DNA. If we as a society choose to “believe all women” without clear-cut evidence that individual women are telling the truth about a particular situation we will be guilty of perpetuating injustice and oppression on another group of people (in this case men). Societies that encourage oppression and injustice tend to have very messy revolutions.  Revolutions rarely end well. We do not want a revolution.

 People have a sin nature-

 Because all people (male and female) are sinners at the core of their being (Romans 3:23).  Sometimes even “good” people do things out of selfish and/or evil motives (Galatians 5:19-21). The whole point of having a court system is to keep our individual sin natures from running wild and hurting other people (Romans 13:1-5).

 Memories can be faulty-

 It has been proven that even the most vivid of memories can be factually incorrect. It’s called false memory syndrome and it’s a real thing (Google it). Those with false memory syndrome sincerely believe that the event they “remember” happening to them actually happened. There are people who have confessed to crimes they did not commit because they were suffering from false memory syndrome. There have also been cases of people who claimed to be innocent of crimes who were imprisoned based on a memory someone had who were later exonerated (usually because of DNA evidence). Simply choosing to believe everyone based on a memory they have is dangerous because memories are complex and sometimes unreliable.

 Due process-

  It is the law in this country that we assume people to be innocent until they are proven guilty beyond a reasonable doubt (Deuteronomy 19:15). We do this because our founders understood that anytime a court refuses to allow due process people get hurt (badly). The Salem Witch Trials serve as the ultimate example of what can happen when people in power make decisions based on uncorroborated testimony rather than facts, evidence, logic and truth. Sadly, the recent Carnival of Dysfunction (Kavanaugh Hearings) bear a much closer resemblance to the Salem Witch trials than they do to an unbiased and civilized search for truth.  

 No one sane wants to see baseless allegations (about anything) weaponized in the future-

 Events have transpired in recent weeks that should panic thinking people everywhere. The strategies employed during the Bret Kavanaugh hearings have been nauseatingly reminiscent of the show-trials of Nazi Germany and Soviet Russia. Unsubstantiated allegations were weaponized to discredit a man simply because he holds the “wrong” political views. The same thing that happened to Bret Kavanaugh could happen to anyone of us at any time. The key to preventing the loss of our Republic is to return to the standard of believing people (men and women) only when the facts support belief.   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why the Words we use to talk About sin Really do Matter-

Lisa M. Price1 Comment

In spite of all this you say, ‘I am innocent; He is not angry with me.’ But I will pass judgment on you because you say, ‘I have not sinned’~ Jeremiah 2:34-36 NIV

 The world we live in is a flaming-hot-dumpster-fire of a mess right now.

 Church attendance is down, biblical ignorance is up and Christian kids are leaving the faith quicker than rats abandoning a sinking ship. Thanks to immorality and bad behavior in church leadership Christians have completely lost their moral authority in the culture and we will not be getting it back anytime soon. Those are just the problems inside the church.

The problems outside the church are bigger, messier and even trickier to solve.

 Gender confusion is officially the new normal. Being born with a penis or a vagina is no longer something to be evaluated when a person is labeled either male or female (Genesis 1:27). Mental health professionals and many educators now claim normal masculinity is somehow toxic.  Drug use has become appallingly common among every age group and social demographic. Divorce has become so routine social commenters have coined the term “starter marriage”.  It is now considered an act of hate speech to suggest that anything some people find pleasurable is somehow morally wrong.

 Sigh.

 I do not pretend that I know everything there is to know about everything. Most of the time I am painfully aware of the fact that I really don’t know what I don’t know about most stuff. However, there is one thing I do know for absolute certain. There is simply no way we will get out of the mess we’re in until the church takes the lead and gets back into the business of calling sin sin.   

 We have developed a habit in the church of reframing sin in new (and far less offensive) terms. This issue was brought to my attention recently when I was asked to review a Bible study/curriculum intended to support, educate and guide women whose husbands have been routinely sexually immoral (adultery, pornography, homosexuality, etc.). All the women going through the curriculum are married to men who are professing Christians also attending study/support group.

 The authors of the curriculum clearly have good intentions. It’s obvious they want to help women who are suffering through no fault of their own. Good intentions notwithstanding, the execution of the program fails epically short. This is mostly due to the language the writers elected to use. Rather than labeling the men who have willfully chosen to disobey God and break their marriage vows repeatedly with terms like ne’er-do-wells, reprobates or adulterers (Hebrews 13:5, Hebrews 12:16, 1st Corinthians 6:18-20). The men are simply referred to by the sanitary term of “sex addicts”. If the men begin sinning after a period of repentance their transgressions are called a “relapse”.  

 The women are instructed to be endlessly patient with their straying husbands and to do everything within their power to keep their marriages intact. Not once are the women coached to treat their stubbornly unrepentant husbands like unbelievers or to go to the elders of their Church and ask for church discipline to be applied to the cheaters (1st Timothy 1:20, 1st Corinthians 5:5). Instead the women were encouraged to “make a safety plan” in the event of a “relapse”. None of examples of the safety plans included putting the guy out on the street until he gets his act together and repents permanently (Exodus 20:14, Proverbs 6:32, Matthew 5:27-28, 1st Corinthians 5:9-11).

 Insert eye roll here.

 It’s simply a fact that most of the men we refer to as “sex addicts” have experienced serious childhood trauma. The writers of the curriculum do an excellent job of explaining the roots of addiction and how childhood trauma can and does create addictive tendencies in some people. That being said, there was precious little said about personal holiness, taking personal responsibility for sin, the need for ongoing repentance or the role obedience to the Holy Spirit plays in living a life of holiness. Nor was there much said about God’s ability to permanently transform the heart and behavior of a sinful human being.

 Sadly, this is not the only example of reframing sinful behavior in more positive terms. Even in the church we call drug use a disease and drunkenness alcoholism. Even serious sins like adultery and theft have been renamed as “mistakes” or “moral failures” (Exodus 20:14-15). Language really does matter. And the language Christians are choosing to use is at least part of the reason many Christians are not taking personal responsibility for their sin.

Here’s the thing:

Sex addiction sounds like a virus someone caught due to no fault of their own while “sexual immorality” sounds like the terrible CHOICE it actually is. Addiction sounds like something outside of our control while “drunkenness” and “drug user” sound like the choices they are. No one can fix a problem they refuse to name or be honest about. Men who cheat on their wives are not sex addicts. They are people who have made the conscious choice to let their sin nature run wild. God will judge their choices if they refuse to repent (Hebrews 10:30, 1st Corinthians 6:9-10).

I am not proposing Christians attack unbelievers with words like “sinner” or “reprobate” (1st Corinthians 5:12). What unsaved people choose to do is between them and God. I am proposing we intentionally change the language we use inside the church to better reflect what’s really going on when a person cheats on their spouse or jumps headlong into drug use or excessive drinking. The church does no one any favors by calling sin anything but sin (Ephesians 4:15-16).

Five Things That Must be Done Right Now to Make the Church Healthy-

Lisa M. PriceLeave a comment

We can be sure that we know him if we obey his commandments. If someone claims, “I know God,” but doesn’t obey God’s commandments, that person is a liar and is not living in the truth~ 1stJohn 2:2-4 NLT

 It’s been a long depressing week.

 A cursory glance at the news would quickly convince anyone that the whole stinking world has lost its mind.

 The rabble-rousers at ANTAFA have been protesting racism and fascism by lighting things on fire and punching strangers in the face. The news media is aiding and abetting this chicanery by openly defending ANTAFA’s methods and claiming that some punches are more “moral” than others (What?). Several American universities have begun stocking their men’s bathrooms with tampons in the name of gender equality and fairness (seriously, I am incapable of making this stuff up).    

 Sadly, that carnival of dysfunction pales in comparison to the news that came out of church world this week. Bill Hybels, guru of all things evangelical and lead Pastor of Willow Creek Community Church resigned after allegations of adultery, duplicity and ongoing sexual idiocy were confirmed. The resignation of the entire board of Willow Creek Church quickly followed when it was disclosed that they had dismissed and covered-up allegations of abuse from dozens of women over the years. Immediately following the news of that flaming-hot-dumpster-fire it was revealed that the Catholic Church in Pennsylvania lied about and aided in the systemic sexual abuse of thousands of children over the course of several decades.

Sigh.

 All this would be less worrisome if it weren’t simply the tip of the iceberg when it comes to shady behavior, sketchiness and sin in the church. It is not unusual for local church leaders to openly behave in ways that are questionable at best and downright sinful at worst. It is even more common for Christian laypeople to totally disregard clear instruction given in the Bible. Some have taken to treating bad behavior by other Christians as if clear-cut cases of sin were simply a matter of Christian freedom or lifestyle choices (1stPeter 3:16).

 This is not about freedom in Christ or the right some post-modern Christians think they have to be uninhibited by any and all rules (1st Corinthians 6:20, 1st Corinthians 8:9, 2nd Timothy 2:5). This is about people who do not know Jesus and probably never will because too many Christians flatly refuse to control their baser urges. It pretty much goes without saying (but I’m saying it anyway) that it is highly unlikely that even one of those little kids who were molested by their parish priests grew-up to become Christians. If we want to turn things around we need to do five things fast:

 We must redefine what qualifies as suitable entertainment for Christians-

 Recently, I watched a television show that was wildly popular twenty-plus years ago. Fifteen minutes in, I realized the real success of that program was in normalizing sin, especially the sins of pornography and homosexuality. When the devil can get us to giggle at behaviors that God forbids or to identify strongly with characters who are openly sinful and deeply flawed we are well on our way to accepting those behaviors as normal and even healthy. Over the course of the last two decades Christian attitudes towards sin has changed dramatically. Our entertainment choices are at least partly to blame.

 We need a return to church discipline-

 I get that this a touchy issue. I also get that we live in a ridiculously litigious society where few people (including most Christians) are willing to accept correction anymore. I also understand that Christians should be slow to judge and quick to forgive. I also know that too many churches have abused the notion of church discipline and used it as a means to bully, control and intimidate other Christians. That being said, Paul made it clear that certain behaviors are not be tolerated in Christian churches. He also gave clear-cut instructions on healthy church discipline and restoration of the repentant (1stCorinthians 5, 2ndCorinthians 2) 

 We should less time fretting about legalism and more time focusing on obedience-

 About two decades ago believers went on a crusade to eliminate every possible hint of legalism from the church. This is not a bad thing, so long as we do not equate obedience to New Testament commands with legalism. Until we recognize this has become a problem the church will continue to struggle with sin.   

 We need to stop thinking that attendance is the measure of a leader-

 Since the emergence of the first mega-church in the late 1980’s the ability to draw a crowd has become the gold standard for Christian leadership.  There is nothing wrong with having a guy on staff who can put butts in the seats and bucks in the offering plate. However, it is critical we remember that nowhere in the New Testament are those things considered a requirement (or even a consideration) for biblical leadership. Rather, we are told to look for leaders who serve as examples of morality, love, grace and human decency for the rest of us (1stTimothy 3:1-13, Titus 1:6-7)

 We need fear God-

 Seriously.  God knows everything and someday He will judge everything. Including the things people fool themselves into thinking are being done in secret (Hebrews 4:13, Revelation 20:12-13)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What is at the Root of the Gender Debate?

Lisa M. PriceLeave a comment

This is what the Lord says: “Stand at the crossroads and look;ask for the ancient paths,ask where the good way is, and walk in it,and you will find rest for your souls” Jeremiah 6:16a NIV

It was on of those weeks where life has reminded me repeatedly that we live in the civilization in decline.

Seriously.

 First, there was the “mental health professional” (I am not making this up) who felt dragging her nail technician across a parking lot with her car was a reasonable response to a less-than-perfect manicure. Then Chuck Schumer, Nancy Pelosi and Hilary Clinton (three of the most zealous supporters of abortion in the history of our Republic) appointed themselves America’s theologians in residence. They spent the better part of the week quoting Scripture and waxing eloquent on the importance of “caring for the children”. Then there was the Chicago principal who invited an activist who advocates killing the police to talk to elementary school children about career-day.

 Seriously, what the heck kind of career is that anyway?  

Sadly, all of paled in comparison to what I found in one of my son’s textbooks. Alex is attending a university recognized for its academic programs. For some reason I still don’t completely understand, my Business Major son is currently taking an elective course entitled “Sports, Adolescence and Schools”.  

Here’s the thing.

The class isn’t really about schools, adolescence or sports. Those subjects are simply a convenient pretext for what the class is really about.  The class is really about gender. More specifically, the class is aimed at convincing students (who paid $1625.00 plus the cost of the book) there is no such thing as gender. Gender is simply a societal construct.

The whole boys have a penis and girls have vagina thing is a clever lie we were told by our Neanderthal parents and grandparents to pigeonhole us into performing functions and roles that never needed to be filled. Penises and vaginas are irrelevant because there is no such thing as boys or girls.  There are just random humans who are born with random sex organs that have no real effect on anyone or anything. Those random humans should get to decide for themselves whether or not they want to identify as a boy or a girl or whatever they feel like identifying as at the moment.

Sigh.

My initial reaction to this madness was to shrug it off as just another piece of evidence in the ever-growing pile of evidence that we are in a state of cultural, moral and intellectual decline. But as the week wore on it hit me, the debate over gender is about a whole lot more than gender.

The gender debate is not really about gender at all.

The gender debate is about truth. It’s about whether we can know truth and whether or not our feelings about an issue ought to trump truth. Science is clearly and irrevocably on the side of the existence of only two genders. We are born male and female. DNA proves this beyond a shadow of a doubt. DNA does not offer a third, fourth, fifth, or sixty-third option. Doctors can place a person on the best cross-sex hormones in the world and the give them the best plastic surgery available but ultimately a simple DNA test will still give them away.

Every. Single. Time.

Proponents of gender change insist that none of that matters. They tell us that science is irrelevant, it’s how a person feels that really matters. If someone feels like a woman, they are a woman. If someone feels like a man, they are a man. If someone feels a man some of the time and a woman some of the time they are “gender fluid”. Sex organs, DNA, God and common sense be damned.

Because truth matters, this is a battle Christians need fight.  If we lose this battle and feelings are allowed to win out over facts, I fear we will slip into a state of moral and intellectual decay that we will never recover from (Romans 1:28-32).

 People need to hear the truth (John 8:32). That said, we must tell the truth in a kind, respectful, but firm way (Ephesians 4:15). We need to take our emotions out of the discussion and lay out the facts. Science is on the side of common sense. There is no scientific evidence for being born in the wrong body, gender fluidity or for sixty-three genders or any of the post-modern gobbledygook that is making the rounds these days. It is imperative that our friends and neighbors understand that when a man believes he is a woman or a woman believes she is a man that person is suffering from a mental illness called Body Dysmorphic Disorder and they need our help, they need our care and they need God. They do not need their friends, family, society or the medical community to play make believe with them.

Christians need to do their homework and then speak the truth courageously, but kindly. We also need to pray fervently that society comes to its collective senses before any more damage is done.

Behaviors and Attitudes to Avoid at all Costs to Keep Love Alive in a Marriage-

Lisa M. PriceLeave a comment

Whoever loves a quarrel loves sin; whoever builds a high gate invites destruction~ Proverbs 17:19 NIV

 Marriage season is upon us once again and because my husband and I have reached the stage in life where we get invited to attend a lot of weddings I have been thinking quite a bit about the subject of marriage.  More specifically I have been thinking about why some marriages go the distance and others don’t.

 Contemporary wisdom tells us that prevention is key to avoiding marital shipwrecks.  Finding the right person, getting the right counseling beforehand and “being ready for marriage” are exalted as the gold standard of divorce prevention. It would be the height of foolishness to argue against the need for relational compatibility and pre-marital counseling. The importance of those things is obvious, and while I don’t think anyone is ever truly “ready for marriage”. Reaching a certain level of maturity before getting married is without question helpful to the over-all success of any marriage.  

 That said.

 All the pre-marital preparation in the world will not overcome stupidity, meanness, willful sin or relationship mismanagement. What we do after the vows are said is every bit as important (if not more so) than what we do before they are said. There are a number of common blunders people make in marriage that go way beyond mere mistakes, poor choices or communication snafus.  There are behaviors and attitudes that will literally kill a marriage if they are not corrected (and repented of) quickly.  

 The seven marriage killers are:

 The silent treatment-

 The silent treatment is a control tactic used by narcissistic people to bring about change they want to see in the relationship without actually discussing issues or compromising on solutions to problems. The silent treatment is at best, a sign of serious emotional immaturity and at worst it is a serious form of abuse. Those who use it need to understand that it tends to backfire over time. In the beginning of a relationship most partners will respond to silence by doing whatever they think needs to be done to get the conversation started again and the relationship back on track. That said, healthy people will eventually tire of the game playing and begin to distance themselves emotionally from the silencer, if emotional distance is not course-corrected in a marriage divorce is almost always inevitable. It all comes down to learning to use your words and being willing to compromise (Ephesians 5:21). It’s what grown-ups do in grown-up relationships.   

 Pornography-

 Conventional “wisdom” tells us that pornography is only a problem if one party in the relationship objects or if one person looks at pornography without the other being present. This “wisdom” is worldly idiocy. Nothing does more to create an environment where sin can flourish or trust erodes between two people more quickly than pornography (Exodus 20:14). Looking at pornography is the act of bringing other people into the part of the relationship that was intended (by God) for only the husband and the wife. Bringing pornography into a marriage directly contradicts the command given in Hebrews 13:4 to “keep the marriage bed pure and undefiled”. Pornography is not an acceptable or smart way to “spice things up”.

 Deceit-

 Deceitfulness can take on many different forms including emotional affairs, physical affairs, hiding financial information or just generally keeping secrets from the other person. Whatever form deceitfulness takes it puts up walls in the relationship and destroys trust. Marriages simply will not survive without trust.  (Leviticus 19:11, Colossians 3:9, Proverbs 17:19, Deuteronomy 5:18).

 Using sex as a weapon–

 Sex is one of those sticky-wicket issues many couples avoid talking about to the detriment of their relationship. Don’t. Sex is one of the key reasons most people (especially Christian people) get married so it ought to be something we are very open about. Avoid getting in the habit of withholding sex as “punishment” for real or imagined offenses. It’s not nice and it’s not biblical (1stCorinthians 7:4).

 Disrespect-  

 Disrespect covers a whole range of behaviors. It encompasses screaming, rudeness, spitefulness and not taking the other person’s desires, preferences or needs into consideration.  The worst and most damaging kind of disrespect almost always involves the words we use (Proverbs 12:18, Colossians 4:6, Ephesians 4:29). Cursing, belittling or name-calling during a conflict is a surefire way to kill romantic love quickly.  If we all just obeyed the command Jesus gave in Matthew 7:12 and treated our spouse how we want to be treated the vast majority of marital problems would disappear overnight.

 Abuse-

  Seriously, this one is a no-brainer (Malachi 2:15-17). It should never be tolerated. If it’s a problem in your marriage get help immediately.

 Refusing to become a team-

 No marriage will survive unless the husband and the wife are both one-hundred percent committed to the good of the other. Once we say “I do” it ceases to be about us and becomes about the two of us (Matthew 19:5-6). Teamwork in marriage means willingly sacrificing our own personal wants, needs and desires at least some of the time for the good of the other person and the relationship (Ephesians 5:20-33) . If at any time sacrificing becomes habitually one-sided the team will crumble and so will the marriage.  

The bottom line:

Marriage is either a tiny preview of heaven on earth or the bane of our existence. There is rarely much middle ground. How it turns out is very much up to us. In order for a marriage to work BOTH parties must be willing to work hard, be humble, forgive freely and examine themselves often.

When we do that God blesses. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How the Battle Between the Sexes is Hurting the Church

Lisa M. Price1 Comment

When God created mankind, he made them in the likeness of God. He created them male and female and blessed them. And he named them “Mankind” when they were created~ Genesis 5:1-2 NIV

 I rarely write follow-up posts. This is mostly due to the fact that I have a ridiculously short attention span and I prefer to make all the points on a topic in one post. Then I move on to another topic and a new post.

 It’s how I roll.

 However, last weeks blog was not actually finished. One observant reader pointed out that I said there were five reasons I felt Christians shouldn’t support the #MeToo movement and then proceeded to make four points. Truth-be-told I planned on making five points and then only made four, mostly because the post was getting a bit long and the point I wanted to make was not the kind of point that can be made effectively in a hundred words or less. After some thought I decided that the point I initially intended to make is still something that needs to be said.

 So here goes.  

 One issue I have with the #MeToo movement is that they tend to see interactions between men and woman in black and white and nearly always in negative terms. They routinely paint women as victims of men and men as victimizers of women. This view is skewed and dangerous. It is true that some men do indeed victimize women. However, not every woman is blameless and not every man is a victimizer. Sometimes the woman is the one doing the victimizing and the man is the victim. Men and women are both sinners (Romans 3:23, 1st John 1:10) and there is no end to the ways both sexes can and do victimize one another. Painting men or women with an overly broad brush oversimplifies complex issues and pits men and women against one another.

 Many so-called “advocates of women” appear to believe that men and women are mortal enemies. That is a pernicious lie. Sadly, it’s a lie people have bought into since the dawn of time. That lie has generated chaos between the sexes and is currently wrecking havoc on our culture and destroying the effectiveness of the Christian community.

 It is simply a fact that men and women are distinctly different from one another. The differences between men and women run far deeper than the obvious plumbing issues and are not (contrary to popular belief) a result of eons of successful social conditioning. Men and women think differently, behave differently and oftentimes see the exact same situation from radically different perspectives. Contrary to popular opinion, ‘different’ in this case is not bad a thing (Genesis 1:26-31).

I believe with all of my being that the differences between men and women are not something that should be minimized or eliminated. The differences between the sexes should be celebrated, refined and merged to make the world a better place. Sadly, we don’t see a whole lot of this happening even in churches which, arguably, ought to be the most unified and integrated places on earth (Galatians 3:28).

 Sloppy Bible translation is part of the problem.

 The word used to describe the role of the woman in in Genesis 2:18 is traditionally translated into “helpmate” in English. The Hebrew word (ezer) is far less milk-toasty and flaccid than the word chosen by early Bible translators. The word ezer is a powerful word, one loaded with military and tactical overtones. Ezer is used twenty-one times in the Old Testament. It is used five times to describe the role of women and sixteen times to refer to God as Israel’s helper in times of trouble. The varied use of this tells us that God designed men and women to be partners, allies and co-laborers in every sphere of life (Genesis 2:18, Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, Proverbs 18:3).

 For far too long, too many Jesus followers have bought into the lie that women should stand by quietly while their brothers in Christ do the hard work of Kingdom building. We have forgotten that men and women are better together because we were made by our Creator to be better together. It’s time to end the war so we can work together and do what God has called us to do. If we want to reach the world we need to respect and celebrate our differences and work together for the sake of the Kingdom.

 Lives are literally hanging in the balance.

 

 

*My views on this issue have evolved over the years with input from a number of sources. One of those sources is the Bible, and another is the author Carolyn Custis James. Her books (The Gospel of Ruth, Lost Women of the Bible, When Life and Beliefs Collide) are well-researched, unfailingly respectful towards men, incredibly challenging and in my opinion ought to be required reading for all Christians- male and female- regardless of denomination. If you have read her books you undoubtedly saw some of her views reflected in my own. If you have not read her books, I highly recommend them.