Q&A Friday-

Today’s question comes from a reader in Georgia:

Should Christian parents consider taking their kids out of public schools? 

YES. YES. YES.

Just a few years ago, my answer would have been far more nuanced.  

However, times have changed dramatically. 

Public schools have become monolithic machines that churn out leftist anti-God propaganda aimed at indoctrinating children with progressive ideas about sexuality, the climate, history, race and God.  Very few public schools teach children how to think about issues.  Instead schools teach kids what to think. This has produced a generation of young people who lack basic academic skills, have few morals and zero wisdom and discernment about the most basic of issues. 

Furthermore. 

God gave parents not the state ultimate responsibility for training and teaching children. Very few public schools respect the authority of parents anymore. In many states (including my own) a child can change genders, get an abortion, or obtain birth control without so much as parental notification. 

Sadly.

 Public schools are not spiritually safe for children. Public educators assert public schools are value neutral, meaning schools don’t teach values, they simply give information. Unfortunately, the information schools choose to give on sexuality, justice, genders and religion communicate progressive, anti-God, anti-parent, pro-transgender, pro-sexual experimentation values.  It is very difficult for Christian families to effectively counter the ideas and philosophies given at public school given the sheer number of hours kids spend there. 

I do understand private schools or even homeschooling are not always viable options for every family. Christian schools are expensive and homeschooling requires a large investment of time. That said, I urge Christian parents to explore the options. There are wonderful video options available, home schooling co-ops and some Christian schools offer discounts based on income. 

Satan’s Diary- August 2021

For even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light. So it is no surprise if his servants, also, disguise themselves as servants of righteousness. Their end will correspond to their deeds- 2nd Corinthians 11:14-15 ESV

Dear Readers, 

Beginning October 1, 2021 will no longer be sponsoring my blog posts on Facebook. However, I will continue to post all new blog posts on my personal Facebook page and my A Wise Life Facebook page for right now. There are a couple of reasons for this change: first I can no longer in good conscience give Facebook my money when they actively censor what I say by refusing to promote any blog they deem too “political”. Second, with so many people getting off of Facebook my reach has shrunk and it is no longer worth the hassle of being careful about what I say just to get a little promotional help.  This means that it will be much harder for readers to find A Wise Life. It will no longer simply pop up on your feed. You have two options if you want to continue reading A Wise Life. You can search for my page every week or you can subscribe for free. Subscriptions are easy: just go to the bottom of this blog where it says “subscribe” and type in your email address. A Wise Life will arrive in your email every Sunday night. I will not sell or give your email address to anyone. I would appreciate it if you would “do me a solid” and continue to share any blog you feel is worth sharing on social media. That is the only way I will continue to acquire new readers. 

Thanks, 

Lisa Price 

Dearest Diary, 

Life is so truly beautiful here in hell. I have found myself cackling with joy randomly! 

Semiannual reports from all regions are simply off the charts. Every measure of spiritual unhealth is higher than it’s been in a thousand years.

 Things are going especially well with the children on that wretched planet. 

Few parents recognize public schools are at the root of much of the dysfunction in Western civilization and it’s all thanks to me and my efforts.  I have labored diligently behind the scenes for more than a century and my efforts in the educational field are finally paying off in spades.

So good!  

 Most school teachers are educated in liberal universities. Thanks to the breakdown of families, a sharp decrease in church attendance and the absence of discipleship in most churches few young adults start college equipped with the spiritual discernment or ethical judgment to tell truth from lies. These really are the best of times. 

Once kids hit the campuses I see to it they are besieged with half-truths and total lies day-in and day-out on every subject conceivable. Well-intended but self-deceived professors lie to students about sexuality, history, government and what it takes to make people “happy”. Most students leave college morally bankrupt and prideful about what they think they know. Which is essentially nothing.

Thanks to these insanely effective efforts most public-school teachers now aggressively teach progressive opinions as fact. Many public-school teachers see themselves as crusaders and the liberators of children. Educators sincerely believe they are heroically freeing children from the oppression of old-fashioned values and the conservative thinking of their parents and grandparents. In reality, they are setting the stage for children to live their whole lives in bondage to every kind of sin imaginable (LOVE).  The few educators who aren’t on board with the new line of thinking are too worried about being “canceled” to push back against the lunacy. 

SO GOOD!  

Sexual confusion is the new normal and it starts early. I have cartoons that teach gender is a societal construct (as if!). Many kids now believe they get to choose whether or not they are a boy or a girl (I am literally laughing out loud as I write this). Teachers encourage children to choose their own pronouns.  The attention kids receive from choosing their gender becomes a hook that’s hard to let go of.  Some elementary schools actually help children to begin the process of surgically changing their gender without the consent of parents! Such a huge win for me!  I adore gender reassignment surgery! It takes advantage of the innocence and shortsightedness of children! The completed surgery leaves children’s bodies mutilated and unable to have children of their own. These children will inevitably become embittered toward their shortsighted and foolish parents. On top of that these kids will miss out on the maturity that is a natural outcome of parenthood when they are adults.  

Yet another win for me!

For decades I have worked hard to dramatically underscore the importance of sexuality.  This plan is working out better than I could have imagined. Most young adults are whole-heartedly convinced sex is not just something a person does but the sum total of who they are. Those idiots begin conversations explaining how they like to have sex and who they want to have it with. It’s comical, really! And the names they have come up with to cover sexual identity: straight, gay, trans, pan, fluid, binary, non-binary, demi sexual, gynesexual, abrosexual.  The madness never ends and everything is permissible as long as no one judges anyone else for what they do or feel. The pornography industry has been incredibly helpful to me in this area. Sexual proclivities that were so far out of the mainstream few people even knew they existed are now normal in many people’s minds. 

SO GOOD!

 Immature children who don’t even completely understand sexuality are now expected to “identify” both their sexual identity and gender identity before they leave elementary school. Thanks to increasingly graphic sex-education curriculum in public schools third and fourth-graders are so busy trying to figure out their sexuality they don’t have time for activities that will help them grow psychologically and most parents are none the wiser. Some parents actually think all this absurdity is awesome. They are hands-down my favorites.  Idiots! Fools! I literally cannot wait to see the outcome of this trend.  

But sex isn’t my only win these days. 

I personally authored Critical Race Theory. It’s one of the doctrines of demons that stupid Bible warns people about and some Christians actually support it! I love biblically ignorant Christians! They are AWESOME! So easy to manipulate for my purposes! 

But I digress. 

Critical Race Theory teaches people to judge everyone by the color of their skin in the name of making life equal.  It’s already creating division where none exists! 

The stupidity of the human race is beyond beautiful! 

Then there’s the insistence that small children wear masks to prevent an illness that rarely affects them.  Their outlook on risk is being overblown. Many are afraid of intermingling with strangers because they fear germs. COVID will never completely go away so if I play my cards right many will remain fearful all of their lives.  This could easily be the most neurotic and phobic generation in history! 

LOVE! LOVE! LOVE!

There are a few things I find a wee-bit troubling. There are a few parents who seem to be waking-up to the madness (I hate them). There is a movement encouraging conservatives to run for local school boards. Some parents are homeschooling their kids, others are choosing Christian schools. Ultimately this could create chaos for me.  Thankfully, few parents are teaching their kids a biblical view of life. Even fewer adults are sincerely seeking God for wisdom in every area of their lives. No one really wants to sacrifice for the greater good.  Churches are still making Sunday morning playtime for kids. It’ll be alright. Good even. Humans have a long history of overlooking the obvious. I’ll keep distracting them! 

WIN! 

Sincerely, 

Lucifer

Some Hard Counsel for Christian Women-

Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate– Psalm 127:4-5 ESV

Okay, so.

 Generally speaking my ambition is to live a quiet life and tend to my own affairs (1st Thessalonians 4:11).  As a rule, I have zero desire to be a busybody or to butt into other people’s business (2nd Thessalonians 3:11).  On the infrequent occasions I have made it my thing I usually end up feeling sorry.  

Today, I’m willing to run that risk. Here goes:

In recent years, I have noted an attitude making its way into the church. It has become quite common for Christian women to minimize and disparage the roles of wife and mother.  As an older woman I clearly see this thinking is a tool the enemy is using to weaken Christian families. The attitudes developing in the church are potentially detrimental to the future of the church and the family because the Christian family has historically been God’s most powerful and fruitful means of evangelism and discipleship.  

Please understand—I do not believe that wife and mother are the only truly significant roles a Christian woman can or should play in this life. In my experience, when a Christian woman is walking in step with the Holy Spirit she will fulfill many functions and play a variety of different roles throughout her life. Some of those roles will be in the home, some in the church and others will be in the workplace. That being said, the role women play as wives and mothers is critical and should never be demeaned. So, my dear sisters in Christ, today I’m going to share some direct counsel that I believe is desperately needed in this cultural moment. 

First: 

Stop being weak. It’s gross- 

As a mother of four, I get that being a Mom is a demanding job. This is particularly true in the early years of motherhood when money is often tight and children have lots of needs and no real ability to manage themselves. That being said. It’s not that hard and I’m very disturbed by the “Mommy needs a drink” mentality that has drifted into the church. No one needs to become a drunk in order to manage the pressures of motherhood. Seriously. Women have been caring for children since the dawn of time without modern conveniences such as disposable diapers, baby swings and iPads. This generation is no less capable than our predecessors. Though, I suspect we are less resilient and tough-minded. It is critical we understand that a Christian woman is a soldier of Jesus Christ (2nd Timothy 2-4, Ephesians 6: 10-13).  If a Christian woman has children her primary mission in life is to teach and train her children to fear the Lord and walk in His ways.  The early years of parenting are critical. Kids need a Mom to create a stable, loving environment for them to learn about God, themselves and life. No one can provide any of that wasting precious energy whining about how hard and miserable it is to be a Mom. 

Children are the only lasting legacy we leave- 

It’s a clichéd saying that became a cliché because it’s so dang true: “No one has ever laid on their deathbed and wished they had worked harder on their career”. However, lots of people die wishing fervently they had put more energy into the only legacy that really lasts: their kids.  I have done a lot of things with my life, some of them significant by worldly standards. I am not sorry I put my energy into any of them. They were worthy endeavors.  That said, none of the things I have done will have a greater impact on this world than the children I have raised.  

Stop making marriage a contest, it’s not- 

A Christian marriage is intended to be a partnership where each partner sacrifices for the good of the other and the family they create together (Ephesians 5:21-33). A Christian marriage should not be about which spouse has the most impressive career or the most degrees. Those are temporal things that should be viewed as tools to build a legacy for the kingdom of God not as the desired end in its self. 

If you attempt to do it all at once you will do it poorly-  

Seriously. A woman can have a solid marriage, be a faithful Christian, raise amazing kids and have a rewarding career. However, attempting to do all those things all at once practically guarantees something critical will get lost in the shuffle and done poorly. Sadly, it’s the kids, marriage or relationship with Jesus most likely to hit the skids. Wise women recognize there really is a season for everything. It’s not wrong to have a job when kids are young as long both parents are committed to being really attentive to the kids during non-working hours. 

It is critical Christians guard their hearts and minds from adopting the attitudes and mindsets of the culture. Nowhere is this truer than in the area of how we view children and family. (Psalm 127:3-5). When we allow the world to dictate how we view these issues it’s the enemy who wins. 

How to Parent Without Cursing the Future

Teach them His decrees and instructions, and show them the way they are to live and how they are to behave~ Exodus 18:20 NIV

 A theme that remains consistent throughout the Bible is the notion of blessings and curses (Leviticus 28, Deuteronomy 30:19, Psalm 128:2, Proverbs 10:6, Malachi 2:2, 1st Corinthians 9:2). The Bible clearly communicates that certain attitudes and activities bring with them blessings and other (usually opposite) attitudes and behaviors bring with them curses.

 I, for one, have never been a big proponent of the view that the Almighty is sitting around heaven scrutinizing the actions of people searching feverishly for opportunities to bring curses down on people, their children, or their children’s children. Rather, I believe that we bring curses on others and ourselves (sometimes unwittingly) with the choices we make in this life.

 There is no area where this is truer than in the arena of parenting.

 The notion that parents bless or curse their children (sometimes without knowing it) is a biblical one (Ezekiel 18:2, Psalm 37:26, Proverbs 31:27-29, Ephesians 6:1-4). However, this concept is not just a Christian notion. It’s an idea even an idiot can grasp. One does not need a crystal ball to see that a child born to a married Mother and Father, determined to provide a stable and loving home, will have a much greater chance of success in life than a child born to a poor, drug-addicted Mother and an indifferent baby-daddy.

 It’s common sense.

 There is more to the notion of blessing children (and future generations) than simple economics or even marital status, and it’s bigger than just our kids or grandkids. No man (or woman) is an island; therefore the values one generation sows into their children impacts society in powerful ways, sometimes for generations to come. It is not excessively melodramatic to say that history can be altered (for good or bad) by the parenting choices of a single generation.

 That said, as a society we aren’t exactly hitting it out of the ballpark in this area. In fact, judging from the sorry state of our culture, we are long overdue for a gut check in how we parent our kids. I believe there are five changes we desperately need to make if we want to parent in a way that blesses rather than curses our children and our culture.

 Beginning with:

 Living lives free of addiction-

 Nothing does more to curse future generations than a drug, alcohol, or porn addiction. Period. The most productive thing one generation can for another is to stay off of drugs.

Letting kids lose-

 Educated middle-class American parents are undoubtedly some of the kindest and best-intentioned parents in the history of the world. Alas, the road to hell really is paved with good intentions. In an effort to shield children from the hurt, frustration and disappointment we all encountered as children we do stuff that looks and feels merciful and kind (like giving everyone a trophy). However, those acts of kindness keep kids from growing into adults who know how to work for what they want and who can handle the setbacks of life with grace and resilience. Kids who are not taught to handle disappointment inevitably grow into adults who act out and hurt others when the going gets tough.

 Being the leader-

 Some child-rearing “experts” have duped parents into believing that children instinctively know what is best for them. This twaddle is going to create a leadership crisis in the future because we learn to lead by following. Young children (under seven) are by their very nature immature, egotistical and for all practical purposes kind of dumb. God gave kids parents to teach them to be healthy, altruistic, thoughtful human beings (Ephesians 6:1). We do that by taking the reins and making most of the decisions when they are very young (under seven) and then coaching them into good decision-making (while still giving them freedom to fail), as they get older.  

 Being in the room-

 In order to parent well, parents need to be fully present; it is all but impossible to be fully present while playing a game on your phone or perusing Facebook. Furthermore, kids learn to be good communicators (a prerequisite for a healthy future) by communicating. No one communicates effectively while preoccupied by a screen.

 Teaching them to work-

 The Bible clearly teaches that work is good (Colossians 3:23, 2nd Thessalonians 3:10). Work is important because it keeps us out of trouble, makes us productive, teaches us to manage our time and gives us the ability to share with those less fortunate. I firmly believe that young people should have at least one job working with the public. Working with people will keep them humble and free from the sin of elitism (James 2:1-9).  

 Fearing God-

 Loving God is good (Deuteronomy 11:1, Mark 12:30), but fearing Him is better (Proverbs 1:7, Proverbs 10:27, Leviticus 25:7). This is because the fear of the Lord leads to wisdom, (Psalm 111:10) obedience, (Psalm 128:1) the shunning of evil, (Job 28:28) long life (Psalm 14:27) and all of that leads to a society that thrives. We teach kids to fear God by teaching them that God is who He says He is and does what He says He will do.

 Anyone with eyes can see that our culture has serious problems. Most of our problems are a result of the choices parents have made with their children over the course of the last four decades. It is not too late to course correct, but it will take parents acting like parents again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What Does it Really Mean to Love “Your Brother (or Sister)?

For none of us lives for ourselves alone, and none of us dies for ourselves alone.  Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification~ Romans 14:7 and 19 NIV

 I live in the state of Washington.

 The state of Washington is famous (some would say infamous) for many things, some of them really are wonderful, others not so much. Those things include (but are not limited to) Nirvana, evergreen trees, coffee shops, the Space Needle, apples, rain, seafood, Jimi Hendrix, and of course legalized drugs.

 Sadly, it’s the drugs that tends to get the most attention.

 Typically when I talk to people from outside the state we eventually end up in a ridiculous discussion about drug use in general, and marijuana use in particular.

 The conversation typically goes something like this:

 Them: “So, you’re from Washington State?”

 Me: “Yes.”

 Them: “So is it true you can, like, buy pot anywhere?”

 Me: (tired sigh) “well, not exactly. There are special stores where you can buy marijuana. You can’t get it at Wal-Mart yet. But, I’m sure that’s coming.”

 Them: “I hear there are lots of tax benefits to legalizing marijuana. I bet your schools and roads have improved a lot.”

 Me: (barely controlling an overwhelming impulse to roll my eyes) “Well, no. Actually the schools are pretty much just bad as they have always been and our roads have potholes roughly the same size as the craters on the moon. However, our property taxes have gone up every year since marijuana was legalized. Oh, and fatal car crashes involving marijuana have more than doubled since it was legalized. Because of that our auto insurance rates have gone through the roof. So, I guess that’s something.”

 Them: “I sure wish my state would legalize marijuana.”

 Me: “Why?”

 Them: “I just think people should be able to do whatever they want as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone else.”

 At this point, one of two things typically happens. If I’m feeling charitable I politely tag out and go find someone else to talk to. If I’m in a bad mood or feeling feisty, I continue the conversation.

 I typically begin with the above-mentioned facts regarding taxes, car crashes and insurance rates. I follow all of that up with a few statistics concerning the countless social ills that inevitably follow drug legalization (Matthew 12:33). I usually include some statistics on addiction rates to harder drugs and point out the problems our society already has with children stuck in an overburdened foster care system because their parents are too addicted to drugs to care for them (Isaiah 5:20.

 The other person typically snaps back with what they believe is the final and conclusive response to every point I have made thus far in the conversation:

 “Well, it’s not like any of us are our brother’s keeper. Those are not my problems. Why should I be denied the “right” to use marijuana recreationally and responsibly just because some people move on to harder drugs or use drugs and drive.”

 At this point if my sweet husband happens to be within earshot he places his hand gently on my arm and attempts to lead me away from the unfortunate chump who is about to get an earful of my feelings on this subject.

The things is:

I do believe to one degree or another we are our brother’s keeper (Matthew 22:35-36). Each and every one of us has a sacred duty to look after the health and well being of the other seven billion souls who live on this planet whether we feel like it or not and this is not just about marijuana or drug legalization.

 It’s about a little thing we used to call “being human”.

 Here’s the thing: decent people voluntarily set aside their own interests and avoid doing things that have the potential to hurt others or lead weak people astray 1st Corinthians 8:1-13). That is why past generations avoided things like smoking marijuana, cursing in public, using hard drugs, looking at porn in public spaces, and dumping their spouses for younger models. Not just because some of those things were unlawful but also because they had the good sense to understand that those things can and do cause harm to other people, especially children (Matthew 18:6).

And the world was better off for it.

 Christians are called to an even higher level of “being human” than the rest of humanity (1st Corinthians 9:22). The Apostle Paul went so far as to suggest we give up eating meat and drinking wine if our eating and drinking causes another person to stumble. I for one believe our society could use a fresh dose of that kind of thinking.

 

 

 

Raising a Kid Who Has a Conscience

Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it~ Proverbs 22:6 NKJV

The disturbing slaughter in Las Vegas last week caused me to think about a subject I rarely tackle in this blog: parenting. It struck me as I was watching the news that anytime there is a mass shooting the first thing we do is search for a motive to make sense of the senseless. If the killer is a minor we want to know if the killer was bullied by his peers or abused by his parents. If the shooter is an adult we want to know if the shooting was racially or religiously motivated. If those scenarios don’t fit, we search madly for something else to explain away the behavior of the killer: like a job loss or a mental illness.

 Stephen Paddock’s motivations are proving difficult to pin down. By all accounts he was financially secure, not obviously political, not obviously religious and apparently not angry about anything in particular. He was also seemingly in his right mind right up until the moment he opened fire on a crowd of strangers.

 Those facts make this mess much harder to sort out, until you look for the one denominator common to all mass shooters: a shocking absence of conscience.

 The Bible teaches that all humans are born into this world with a rudimentary conscience that bears witness to two simple truths. The first truth being that God is (Romans 1:19-20). The second is that some sins including murder, adultery and theft are universally wrong (Romans 2:14). The Bible teaches that a conscience can be seared or stunted by willful sin in adulthood, poor parenting in childhood and exposure to bad teaching or evil people (1st Corinthians 15:33, 1st Timothy 4:2, Proverbs 19:18, Proverbs 29:17).

 The best time to develop a conscience and prevent the types of tragedies we saw this past week in Las Vegas is early childhood (Proverbs 22:6). Following are five simple strategies to help your child develop a conscience. Starting with:

 Teach your child to put the needs of others first- 1st Corinthians 10:24

 Many parenting programs place teaching children to put-up boundaries as the number one parenting priority. Kids do need to learn healthy boundaries, especially when it comes to inappropriate touching. Kids also need to understand that it’s okay to say “no” to a person who is taking advantage of them. However, sometimes “boundaries” is just another word for selfishness. In order to develop a healthy conscience children need to learn that everyone else is every bit as important and special as they are. This is achieved by teaching them to put other people first, taking turns, sharing when they don’t feel like it and speaking to others (including their parents) respectfully.

 Teach kids to fear God- Proverbs 1:7

 If you’re teaching your kids to love God, you are only doing half the job. Kids also need to understand that God is the all-powerful and all-knowing Creator of the universe and that He expects people to show their love for Him through obedience to His commands (John 14:15, John 14:23-24, Luke 11:28). Kids also need to know that there will come a day when God will judge all people for everything they do, both good and bad (Revelation 20:12-13). When kids understand these basic facts it incentivizes them to do right by other people.

Expect Gratitude- 2nd Timothy 3:1-3

 Not in a “you should be grateful I fed you today, you miserable little wretch” sort of way. That is simply never okay. However, there are times when kids need to be reminded to be grateful for the things other people work hard to provide. It’s also good to expose kids to people who are less fortunate than they are. Exposure to the less fortunate will make them compassionate, thankful people. Appreciative, kindhearted people do not open fire on crowds of strangers.

 Teach kids to think about how their words and actions affect others- Matthew 7:12

 Children do not naturally think of others, nor do they automatically comprehend how their actions affect others. Kids who are not taught to think of others tend to grow-up to be the type of people who call-in sick when they’re not sick, cheat on their spouse or commit crimes without thinking about how their behavior will affect others.

 Only praise actual achievement- Proverbs 14:25

 Kids do need to be encouraged. However, telling children they did something awesome when they did something ordinary is a lie that inflates their ego and causes them to think they are better and smarter than they really are. This creates an ideal breeding ground for pride and arrogance to take root in their hearts. Prideful, arrogant people rarely care about others and caring about others is the foundation for building a healthy conscience.

 I know absolutely nothing about Steven Paddocks childhood nor do I know how his conscience became seared to the point where he felt okay about opening fire on a crowd of strangers. I do know that normal people with healthy consciences simply do not do such things. I also know that teaching kids to care about others and to fear their Creator is the one thing we can all do to prevent tragedies like this one in the future.

Another Steaming Pile of Subversive Crap-

 So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days.  Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do~ Ephesians 5:15-17 NLT

Reader warning:

The subject matter of this post is not a topic I would typically choose to discuss and I apologize in advance for the rawness of the subject matter. It is not my intention to shock or offend, there is simply no polite way to discuss this issue. I had a long debate with myself (I do that sometimes) about whether or not to even address this issue (mostly because it’s kind of icky and offensive). In the end I decided it was wrong not to address an issue that has such deep ramifications for our culture.

 Teen Vogue (a magazine for girls between 11 and 17) won the cultural race to the bottom this month when they featured a graphic how-to on anal sex aimed at teenage girls. The article presented heterosexual anal sex in the most positive terms imaginable. Which is odd considering the fact that even the dependably progressive cheerleaders for teen sex and unfettered abortion at the Alan Guttmacher Institute have nothing positive to say about the practice.

 Not a word was spoken concerning the risks associated with anal sex, although the Alan Guttmacher Institute stresses in their literature that anal sex is an extremely risky behavior. Short-term risks include extreme pain and anxiety during sex, emotional trauma after, and anal tearing (sometimes requiring surgery to repair). Long-term risks include an increased risk of anal cancer, a 17 times greater risk of contracting HIV from an infected partner and fecal incontinence (and yes, that means exactly what you think it means).

 Understand that I am not judging or attempting to dictate what consenting adults do privately. That is simply none of my business. However, I cannot help but think that a list of the potential medical risks would be relevant information to include in an article concerning a demonstrably risky sexual practice. It seems to me that even consenting adults would value that information and are in fact entitled to receive it. .

 I believe the Teen Vogue article exposes some seriously ugly truths concerning our civilization (I use that term loosely). Most notably, it clearly reveals that we are not a society that cares about the heath and welfare of women, especially young women.

 The woman assumes virtually all the risk during anal sex. Yet Teen Vogue did not see fit to warn their readers concerning any of the risks involved in this type of sex. Teen Vogue also neglected to mention the violence that frequently surrounds this sexual practice. A study done by the Alan Guttmacher Institute reveals that 25% of women who participated in anal sex admitted to being forced into it at least once. Sadly, this is not the only topic where sex educators and progressives display an obvious lack of concern for the psychological, emotional and physical welfare of women.

 Abortion is another situation where the man benefits (by walking away from the moral and financial responsibility of parenthood) while the woman is left dealing with the potential physical and emotional consequences of the procedure. Those risks include distress during and following the abortion, bowel and bladder perforation, infection, cervical laceration, hemorrhage, infertility and depression.

 Sadly, progressives typically present abortion as a sanitary, beautiful and necessary equalizer and liberator for women. No one ever mentions that abortion is just another avenue for men to escape the responsibilities of their sexual choices.

 The very existence of a magazine like Teen Vogue reveals a disturbing lack of good sense on the part of too many parents in this country. When my oldest daughter was a young teen (and asking to read Teen Vogue) I paid a visit to the local library and read through a couple of issues of both Teen Vogue and Seventeen Magazine. As a result I was not at all surprised to learn Teen Vogue had published a how-to on anal sex.

 I am thunderstruck that there is a parent alive who would voluntarily shell out their hard-earned cash for even a single copy of that steaming pile of subversive crap (feel free to insert a stronger word here if your theology will allow it).

 Seriously.

 Parents who choose to purchase this or any other magazine for their children without carefully reading through it first are hopelessly naïve and doubtless contributing to the moral downfall of their children. Parents in this country need to wake up and recognize the ugly truth that the publishing industry is plagued with unscrupulous, amoral people who do not care about the spiritual health of our children.

 Christians must commit to praying daily for revival and a return to our collective senses. As a culture we have moved away from God and even the most basic of truths and as a result we have become the most pitiable kind of fools. Fools who promote dangerous practices for no good purpose other than to corrupt the hearts and minds of the most vulnerable among us.

 Judgment cannot be far off.

  

 

 

Where We Went Wrong With the Millennial Generation

When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things~ 1st Corinthians 13:11 NKJV

 Over the last dozen or so years a countless number of articles and blog posts have been written on the subject of the Millennial generation and their well-documented indifference towards organized religion in general and Christianity in particular.

 Most writers focus almost entirely on solving the immediate spiritual crisis. Concerned parties want to reach the eighty percent who have wandered from the faith, before the entire generation is irrevocably lost to secularism, humanism, and atheism. I truly care about reaching the millennial generation on a spiritual level. However, I believe its every bit as imperative we understand how we got into this mess in first place.

 History is always critically important.

 Unless we know where we went wrong in a particular area we will be doomed to repeat the same stupid mistake until we die. Sadly, a countless number of blunders were made with the millennial generation. Parents, schools and churches all carry a share of the blame.

It all began with how my generation was raised.

Few in my generation were ever told we were special or smart when we were kids. This was true even when we did things that were genuinely special or smart. We were seldom permitted to voice our opinions or encouraged to share our thoughts. It was NEVER okay to contradict an adult. So when we became parents we did what Americans do when they encounter a wrong.

 We overcompensated.

 We told our kids a hundred times a day that they were smarter, more special and better informed than any children in the history of forever. If they pooped we threw a party, complete with M&M’s and party hats. If they shared an opinion, we celebrated that opinion no matter how irrational or poorly thought-out it happened to be. We insisted every kid get a trophy and made certain no child ever felt less than AWESOME about his or her academic or athletic abilities, regardless of actual ability.

 Educators were quick to focus on feelings rather than facts and hop on to the self-esteem bandwagon. Discipline went out of fashion and subjects like history were taught from an extremely one-sided perspective. Kids were rarely expected to examine both sides of an issue nor were they taught to judge historical figures actions and attitudes in the context of the time period they lived in. Absurd viewpoints were rarely, if ever challenged in academic settings.

 Churches and youth ministries focused on having fun, forming relationships and making kids feel good about themselves. Learning the Bible was dropped in favor of “service projects” and “doing life together”. The whole notion of sin was marginalized. Youth ministries focused on transforming children not yet out of puberty, including some who exhibited no indications of salvation into “leaders” who would “reach their generation for Jesus”. Do not judge, lest you be judged (Matthew 7:1) was the one Bible verse every high school student memorized.

 The end result of this collective madness has been devastating to our culture.

 Many millennials never let go of childish ideas about life and reality. It’s appallingly common for grown people to think that feelings are more important than facts and that if you believe something to be true then it must be. Many become anxious and overwrought when a flaw is pointed out in their thinking or when a viewpoint that differs from their own is presented. That is why we now have “safe spaces” on college campuses and in workplaces, to shield people from words or ideas that make them uncomfortable.

 Sigh.  

 The most tragic consequences of our folly have manifested themselves in the realm of the spiritual. Many millennials believe that if a Bible verse FEELS wrong to them then the Bible got it wrong on that subject. Because teenagers were placed in positions of spiritual leadership long before they were actually converted, acquired any wisdom or knew much of anything about the Bible; many are prideful and will not tolerate correction, even when the correction comes directly out of the Bible.

 Sadly, that is the root reason many millennials have left the church to “work out their own spiritual experience”. They simply cannot tolerate the fact that there is a higher authority than them, be it God or the Bible.

 We must change the way we look at life, God, parenting, and the nature of reality. It’s time to put away childish thoughts about such things and think like adults, this is especially true for Christians.

 It is time to acknowledge some basic truths: facts are more important than feelings, believing something does not make it true and only children shield themselves from ideas that challenge their thinking or hurt their feelings. While we’re at it we need to get back to the understanding that God is real and due to His position as Creator and Sustainer of all things He really does have a fundamental right to tell us what to do.

 Before it’s too late.

Dear Derek

Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth~ Psalm 127:4

 Dear Derek,

 Congratulations, and welcome to the roller coaster. Only a few weeks in and I am sure that you have already discovered that few experiences in this life compare with the sweet pandemonium of early parenthood.

 You have undoubtedly already observed that your capacity for both love and worry has increased exponentially with the arrival of your sweet little human. The expansion for both has only just begun. As your little human grows and matures your capacity for love will grow with them. You will also worry about problems and situations you don’t even know exist at this point.

 In your message you asked if I had any advice for you and your wife as you begin your journey as parents. Thanks for asking. I am always a little dumbstruck when I discover that people actually read what I write. It blesses me beyond words when someone asks for more. I will do my best to give you something you can use.

 Four kids (two grown, one adopted) and well into the third decade of my own journey. I have concluded that successful parenting is predicated on the same principle any other productive enterprise is built upon:

 Begin with the end in mind.

 Decide now what qualities you want to see manifested in your adult children (my husband and I made a list). Once you settle on some objectives, model, teach and discuss those virtues all the time. The goal should be to mold their thinking and character around the values that matter most to God. Start early. If you want an adult child who is honest, moral, considerate, loyal and hardworking (all character traits on our list), the time to plant the seeds of those virtues is long before your son or daughter turns seven.

 It’s essential to take a long view when dealing with kids. Children mature quickly and many behaviors and attitudes that are precocious and even a little endearing on very young children (think extreme competitiveness  sexual precocity’ and disrespect), are disturbing to witness in a teenager; and thoroughly detrimental to the success of a fully-grown man or woman.

 Beginning with the end in mind is critical when it comes to sowing faith into our kids. It is never too early to begin passing on what you believe about life and God to your kids. Deuteronomy 6:5-9 is the key:

 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.  These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates…

 This passage presupposes two realities. The first is that the parents are following hard after God in a tangible and authentic way in their own lives. If you and your wife put obedience to God above your own preferences, are humble enough to admit your own failures, and are willing to receive counsel from others, your children will be more likely to embrace your beliefs. Sadly, there are no guarantees with kids, however faithfulness and humility increase your chances of a good outcome.

 The second assumption this passage makes is that the instruction and training of children will take place in the context of a close and affectionate relationship. You will discover quickly that children need and even long for firm boundaries. However, your child will also need to know with absolute certainty that you are one hundred percent in their corner all the time, especially when you are disciplining them. Bitterness and rebellion in older kids are generally the outcome of lack of healthy connection with parents.  

 I cannot overstress the importance of enjoying the ride. The early years of parenting are overwhelming and every sane parent wonders if it will ever end. The key to enjoying the journey lies in not getting bent of shape of over the little things, my Father-in-law used to remind us “sometimes spilled milk is just spilled milk”. He was right.

I wish I had been more inclined to listen to his wise counsel. 

 Finally, and perhaps most importantly, love each other well. Let your child see affection, consideration and grace reflected in your interactions with one another. A healthy view of marriage is one of the greatest gifts we can give to our kids.

 God be with you both as begin your journey!

 Lisa

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Summer Parenting Series- How to Avoid Parental Heartbreak

It has been a long week, packed with blessings, celebrations and memories. The week began with a drive from Arizona to Oregon, crossing four states (we can be stupid cheap sometimes). We stayed at the home of my amazingly gracious sister-in-law, spent one unbearably short day with my only sister, and got to know my adorable niece and nephew all over again. I was reminded that family is a tremendous gift.

 My husband and I hiked through a rainforest with the kids and were blown away by the magnificence of God’s handiwork. We spent a day in Portland. Sadly, it was much dirtier and far less charming than I remembered. We reminisced over a long dinner with old friends and were reminded that there are no friends like old friends. We ended the week at the lovely wedding of our son’s childhood friend. Witnessing the marriage of a now-adult child we watched grow up was a bittersweet reminder of how quickly time passes.

 As I write, we are headed back to Tucson and I have little to do but think. My mind keeps wandering back to some conversations I have had over the past weeks. All the folks have different stories but they do share a common bond. All have adult children that have broken their hearts.

 Some of the kids got caught up in drugs and were unable to free themselves from the trap. Others became alcoholics. Bad company and or worldly philosophies led more than a few astray. All who strayed have turned their backs on the faith they were raised in.

 There was precious little I could say to comfort these parents over the course of our conversations. Once an adult child has gone their own way there is not a lot that can be done to bring them back. The ultimate outcome of their story is between them and God. Because there are few cures for this particular brand of heartache, prevention is imperative. There are five steps Moms and Dads can take over the course of the parenting years to prevent a world of hurt when their kids reach adulthood.

 Get married and stay that way –

 Divorce wrecks kids. Children of divorce universally believe that if they were smarter, cuter or better behaved their parents would have stayed together. This false view of reality sets them up for all sorts of self-image and relationship issues later in life. Perhaps the biggest problem with divorce is that it diverts attention that should be on kids back to the parents. Parents spend a lot of time licking their wounds and searching for relationships to shore up their own shattered self-confidence in the years following a divorce. This leaves kids with loads of time to develop sketchy friendships and lots of opportunities to experiment with dangerous behaviors. To make matters worse, stepparents are rarely passionate about raising someone else’s kids. Kids sense the tension and it causes them to feel like interlopers in their own homes. If you feel you absolutely must divorce, do your kids a favor and commit to singleness (and celibacy) until they reach adulthood.

 Don’t overlook character issues-

 Inclinations towards substance abuse, self-centeredness, deceit, spiritual apathy, laziness, and the tendency to withdraw have their roots in childhood. Be aware of your child’s predisposition to certain sins and deal with issues early on.

 Be selective about which influences you allow-

 Friends, relatives, educators, television and even music powerfully influence how our kids view the world. It is vital that we know who and what is shaping our kids. Parents are sometimes hesitant to say “no” to people and things that are having a detrimental impact on their kids out of fear of appearing controlling. There are no do-overs in childrearing. Once harm is done, it’s done. Don’t hesitate to limit or even eliminate influences that are inclined to lead your kids down the wrong path.

 Don’t be a fraud-

 Do not pretend to be better than you really are and refuse to be satisfied with living a feeble, partially committed Christian existence. Deal with the sin in your life decisively (Matthew 5:30). You must deal with the sin in your life because your child’s spiritual future is hinging on your ability to model truth for them. You don’t have to be perfect but you do need to be making an authentic and concerted effort toward becoming holy.

 Commit to a Bible-believing Church-

 A good Church has innumerable benefits: it provides a good place to make friends, teaches truth, provides accountability and helps keep kids busy and grounded during the teen years. It is possible for a person to be very involved in Church and not have a relationship with God. That said, kids understand almost intuitively that our involvement with Church is huge indicator of how serious we are about our relationship with God. Your kids will likely never be more committed to God or Church than you are, so get committed to God, find a good Church and stick with it.

 There are no guarantees in child rearing. It is possible to do everything right and still have a kid who breaks your heart. The odds of parental heartbreak are significantly diminished when you strive to nurture a good marriage, seek a vital relationship with Jesus Christ, keep an eye on influences and live transparently.