Satan’s Diary- September 2022

The Lord said to Satan, “Where have you come from?” Satan answered the Lord, “From roaming throughout the earth, going back and forth on it.” Job 1:7 NIV

Dearest Diary,   

 I recently received third-quarter reports from all regions and I’m pleased to report all is well on earth and in hell. 

Seriously.

2022 has been good to me so far.

There are two “pet projects” I decided to prioritize this year and both are off the charts successful. The first is the one I like to call “lies about life”. 

It’s going splendidly! Just splendidly! 

I have convinced the younger generations having a child is the very worst thing that could ever happen to them. Young adults have been raised to believe seeking pleasure is the highest value and self-sacrifice is for idiots. It was beyond easy to convince them parenthood is worse than cancer and prison combined.  Because so many believe this lovely little lie I concocted, those short-sighted chumps will do ANYTHING to maintain the right to kill their own offspring. It warms my icy heart to watch them march around wearing their “I Hate Babies” tee-shirts at their silly little rallies. Such fools! They don’t have a clue! They are so determined to keep abortion lawful they repeatedly vote for bungling and corrupt politicians simply because those politicians have vowed to keep abortion legal. They literally love abortion so much they willingly accept economic ruin to keep it. 

I AM A LITERAL GENIUS! I TELL YOU. LITERAL!

It is now fashionable for firms in the U.S. to provide “comprehensive abortion coverage” for their female employees. Companies pay for both an abortion and the traveling expenses to have the abortion. This as a major win for me AND for the company. The woman is damaged emotionally and spiritually by the abortion (whether she recognizes it or not). This damage is likely to lead to self-loathing and all sorts of other goodies for me, such as addiction, promiscuity and self-harm. 

I just adore addiction and self-harm. 

The corporations who participate in this ghoulish little practice win because they get to promote themselves as do-gooders and champions of women’s rights WHILE they weasel out of paying for the insurance costs for the birth of the baby, maternity leave and insurance coverage for the little parasite after it’s born.  I have no words for how much I adore corporate greediness disguised as good deeds! 

 Some fear losing the “right” to abortion to such a degree they are voluntarily choosing to have hysterectomies or vasectomies. Most are in their prime childbearing years. Such a win! Apparently, those morons haven’t heard of this little thing called birth control! I’m literally laughing out loud as I write this! I literally cannot wait until the day these fools realize what they’ve done all in the name of virtue signaling. 

LOVE!

Speaking of cutting off healthy organs. 

My absolute favorite most treasured project of all time “gender affirming care” is going better than I could have imagined.

It’s beautiful really. 

If a child shows the slightest bit of discontent with their biological gender then an army of school teachers, medical professionals, social workers and trans-activists swoop in to convince the child what they really need to do is explore the “gender spectrum”. 

I just adore the gender spectrum. It’s the best thing I ever came up with. Seriously. I’m a friggin genius. 

The child starts out by “transitioning socially” They choose their preferred pronouns, a new name and begin wearing clothing that matches their new gender identity. It’s very common for the child to decide they really are the gender they have been identifying as. I love this. Seriously, It’s so destructive to the child. It’s beautiful. 

At this point a teacher, counselor, doctor or social worker will suggest the child go on puberty blockers to “pause” natural puberty. The short-term side effects of “pausing puberty” include fatigue, menstrual disruption, headaches, insomnia and muscle aches. The long-term effects are my personal favorite. They can include loss of bone density, loss of fertility and loss of I.Q. So good.

SUCH A WIN! 

Most children who begin taking puberty blockers later take cross-sex hormones. Side effects of cross sex hormones include cardiovascular disease, sterility, cancer, mood swings and psychosis (WIN). The next step is having their sex organs cut off (BIGGER WIN!). Whatever they decide later, these children are left disfigured for life from this “medical care”. If anyone tries to object to this course of action they are assured the child will commit suicide if they are discouraged from transitioning. 

I just adore bullying. 

The child is left infertile by this little social experiment, which will cause them to become bitter towards all the adults who encouraged this idiocy once they grow up. As an extra added bonus they will never experience the emotional growth and maturity that comes with parenting a child! 

WIN! WIN! WIN!

Thanks to abortion, aggressive trans activism, government meddling, a failing economy, divorce, pornography and rampant sexual sin, the family is in tatters. I literally could not be more thrilled with this development. There is nothing I despise more than a happy, healthy, stable family.

Thankfully, most Christians don’t want to hear anything about any of it. It’s just too terrifying and icky. Most are too distracted by their own problems to care about the state of the world (winning!). Few tell others about Jesus. The vast majority have no clue what’s going on in their child’s classroom and more than half of them refuse to vote, the ones who do vote seldom think about or pray about what or who they’re voting for. 

Some don’t even attend church!

LOL! As if they’re going to survive without Christian community and fellowship! If this continues I will be running the whole place in no time! 

Until next time my dearest diary,

Satan 

What’s Next for the Pro-life Movement?

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord- Romans 12:9-11 NIV

Last week God graciously answered almost fifty years of heartfelt prayers in one fell swoop when Roe vs. Wade was miraculously reversed by the Supreme Court. Like all pro-life Christians, I rejoiced at the news. There are no words for how good it feels to have a wrong that’s led to the death of sixty-million human beings righted by the courts after so much evil and injustice. 

However. The reaction from abortion supporters was far less joyful. 

It was Crazy Town.

 Seriously. 

There was literal wailing and literal gnashing of teeth and I mean that literally.  Mothers marched in protest to the ruling, some with their children wearing signs saying things like: “don’t force anyone into this” (meaning motherhood). Other protesters wore t-shirts saying: “I hate babies” or “I’m not pro-choice I’m anti-baby”. News anchors immediately began making wild predictions about all the other rights (birth control, gay marriage, interracial marriage) that will vanish into thin air because Roe has been repealed. A parade of women shared their personal abortion stories in glowing terms. Some openly lamented there will be women who won’t get the opportunity to abort their offspring like they did. Activists vowed to help women living in states where abortion is banned get abortions, using any means necessary. Joe Biden promised the federal government would do everything within its power to make chemical abortions readily available to every woman in every state in America. Elizabeth Warren and Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez want the federal government to set up pop-up abortion clinics on federal land and inside national parks in states that outlaw or place limits on abortion. The governors of Washington, Oregon and California formed a creepy little alliance aimed at making the entire left-coast “abortion welcoming”. One governor even promised to do everything he could to make abortion free in his state. God help us all. 

The whole spectacle was sad and gross and disheartening.

Legalized abortion has created a culture of irresponsibility around sexuality. As a result, abortion has become something many people see as a need. Overturning Roe vs. Wade will not miraculously make men or women more sexually conscientious. Nor will it change the “children are messy, gross, fun-wrecking little liabilities” outlook that’s taken over our society by storm. Overthrowing Roe won’t make the baby haters love children. Nor, will it make abortion go away. In fact, reversing Roe will likely make abortion more common, at least in some places. There will be states where abortion laws become even more permissive than they were before. 

The pro-life movement still has a lot of work left to do.

Federal law may have changed, but hearts remain hard towards unborn children and minds remain closed to truth. Sex is a creepy little idol in our culture. The average person has bought into the belief that having sex is the thing that makes us fully human and the only route to true happiness and fulfillment.  That belief that is at the root of our culture’s willingness to sacrifice the unborn on the altar of their own happiness. Idols are not easily displaced in the lives of worshipers.  

We have to get busy. 

Changing a human heart is the most difficult thing in all the universe. In this case it simply will not happen without a literal miracle. Therefore, prayer must be our first order of business. Christians must pray diligently God does whatever it is that needs to be done in the hearts and mind of our friends, neighbors and family members to give them compassion and empathy towards unborn children and a desire to be more responsible in their sexual lives.  Without genuine, heartfelt, attitudinal transformation abortion numbers will remain unchanged despite the change in the law. We must pray diligently God will help those on the other side of the abortion divide understand the nature of the abortion “choice” once and for all.  

Change is neither free or easy.  

Changing hearts and minds takes time energy and money. Lots and lots of it. Please continue to donate open-handedly to pro-life organizations, especially pregnancy resource centers. The workload for these centers will get larger rather than smaller with the repeal of Roe. In the states where abortion remains legal centers will need to double down on their efforts to help, support and educate both Mothers and Fathers on what abortion is and why parents should choose life for their child.  In states where abortion is banned or limited there will be an army of women needing help, support and care with their unplanned pregnancies. 

This is an opportunity for the church to be the church. Let’s get it done.