Category: Relationships

Four Practical ways to Love the Unlovable Without Enabling Sin-

Lisa M. PriceLeave a comment

We urge you, brothers and sisters, admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with everyone. See that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always seek what is good for one another and for all people- 1st Thessalonians 5:14-15 NASB 

One of the most challenging aspects of being twenty-first century follower of Jesus is the disparity between how Christians are commanded to behave in Scripture and how the world encourages people to behave. This contrast is especially glaring when it comes to dealing with the unlovable among us.

The message we get from the world concerning this subject could not be more straight-forward and clear. Most non-Christians (including most secular counselors) believe and teach that unlovable people should be ejected from one’s life as quickly and efficiently as possible. If a friend, co-worker, parent, child or spouse is needy, rude, selfish, sinful or even just kind of dumb that person should be given the old heave-ho the second they indicate a lack of willingness (or ability) to change. 

I won’t lie. 

My flesh finds the counsel of the world appealing in this situation.  Life is short and unlovable people are, well, not fun to love. So, why waste time and energy on anyone who is less than awesome or reluctant to change?

Well. 

As much as I like this advice on a personal level, I also find it super hard to rationalize from a biblical perspective. Nowhere in the Bible are we given permission to eliminate unlovable people from our lives. Truly evil people, yes, the Bible has no issue with Christians avoiding truly evil, totally unrepentant people. We are also called to avoid those who might corrupt our character (1st Corinthians 15:33). That being said, Jesus made it abundantly clear that we are to love the unlovable (Matthew 5:44-46, Luke 6:27-32) and even pray (nice prayers) for those who mistreat us, even when they do it on purpose. Jesus followed His own admittedly hard advice. He prayed for those who crucified Him (Luke 23:34) and loved the man who would eventually turn Him over to be crucified (Judas). He forgave Peter for denying Him three times and He forgives US for ALL the really stupid stuff we do. None of us are Jesus. However, God has given us the power (through the indwelling Holy Spirit) do what Jesus did (John 14:11-13, Matthew 7:7, Luke 10:19). Here’s how to love an unlovable person without enabling bad behavior that makes the person even more unlovable:

Set and enforce limits- 

Unlovable people are oftentimes boundary busters. They overstep, ask for more than is reasonable and show little (or no) respect for what other people want or how they feel. This can become a valid source of bitterness for the person whose boundaries are being busted. Bitterness is bad. It should be avoided at all costs (Ephesians 4:30-31, Hebrews 12:15). The answer to this problem is not to kick the unlovable person to the curb. All that does is make the unlovable person bitter. The answer is to set limits for the person who will not set limits for themselves. There does not need to be a lot of discussion around these limits. Just decide what you will and will not do and then stick to your guns. This will keep you from becoming bitter. Getting free from the bondage of bitterness frees us up to love from the heart. 

Forgive as often as necessary- 

Forgiving others is something Christians are straight-up commanded to do (Matthew 6:14-15, Matthew 18:15-35, Mark 11:25-26). However, contrary to popular belief forgiveness is not something we do for other people. Most people we need to forgive do not care all that much about being forgiven. Most unlovable people are more than happy to keep on making other people angry and bitter. Forgiveness is something we do for the sake of our own souls. Forgiving others is truly the ultimate in selfcare. When we forgive an unlovable person God frees us from anger, resentment and bitterness (Ephesians 4:31, Hebrews 12:15). That freedom allows us to love (and forgive) others joyfully, whether they deserve it or not. 

Fight for the good- 

Fighting for the good does not mean putting up with endless abuse, sin or disrespect. In fact, fighting for the good is the exact opposite of putting up with all sorts of sinful behavior in the name of being “loving”. It is not loving to allow people to sin; in fact, it’s the exact opposite of loving someone.  We fight for the good when we lovingly confront sin and refuse (in a kind way) to allow people to sin against us or anyone else (Galatians 6:1-5,1stThessalonians 5:14, James 5:19-20). Paul’s experience with Peter in Galatians 2:11-13 is a perfect example of this in action. The apostle Peter was sinning against Paul and the gentile Christians by refusing to eat with them when the Jews were around. Paul called him out on it and (apparently) Peter repented and started treating everyone the same all the time. If Paul had refused to confront Peter on his behavior it would have surely led to more sin. Not good. 

And finally, we must:

Do the things- 

We must behave in a loving way towards unlovable people whether we feel the desire to do so or not. Showing kindness and love is not optional for believers in Jesus. It’s a command (Ephesians 4:32, Luke 6:35, Colossians 3:12, 2nd Timothy 2:24). It’s also the key to loving the unlovable in such a way they experience God’s love and care for all people. When we love the unlovable from the heart we become the hands and feet of Jesus in a sin-sick world. 

How does one Christian Protect the Faith of Another?

Lisa M. PriceLeave a comment

I am giving you a new commandment, that you love one another; just as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all people will know that you are My disciples: if you have love for one another- John 13:34-35 NASB

This week as I was reading through Matthew eighteen, I came across a statement Jesus made that no one really likes to talk about. Mostly, because no one really likes to think about what it really means:

Woe to the world because of its stumbling blocks! For it is inevitable that stumbling blocks come; but woe to the person through whom the stumbling block comes! Matthew 18:7

Contextually this verse is a part of a greater statement Jesus made about the faith of children. Because this verse (on the surface at least) appears to be ONLY about children it is rarely given the consideration it probably deserves. 

I suspect Jesus wants us to apply a broader brush.

Matthew eighteen is not just about the faith of “children” because Jesus says that all people must become “as children” in order to enter the Kingdom of God. So, when Jesus talks about people causing other people to stumble, I believe we should assume He is giving a general warning about how we conduct ourselves as Christians (Luke 17:1, Romans 14:13, 1st Corinthians 8:9). 

HOWEVER.

We should all assume that causing a child to sin, whether they love Jesus—or not— is a particularly outrageous form of wickedness that genuine Christians will avoid like the literal plaque. Seriously. 

But I digress. 

Jesus’ warning begs a couple of questions: 

What is a stumbling block? 

How does one person cause another to stumble? 

Inquiring minds want to know, because inquiring minds recognize this issue is obviously a VERY big deal to Jesus.  A stumbling block is something one person does that causes another person to doubt the goodness of God or causes them to think it’s okay to do something that is unwise or even wrong. When we avoid certain attitudes and behaviors we protect the faith of those around us and we avoid becoming a stumbling block. Ultimately, it’s all about loving people well and avoiding the following:

Grumbling- 

I’m will not belabor this point, mostly because I wrote in-depth about grumbling just last week. Nevertheless, there are things that bear repeating. This is one of them. Grumbling, and its ugly counterparts (complaining, fault-finding, lack of gratitude) are contagious and can easily cause those weaker in the faith to stumble especially when the grumbling is focused on other Christians and/or Christian leaders.

Refusing to Grow-

Paul describes the church as a body where all the members are connected to one another. Not only that— we need one another (1st Corinthians 12:12-26). One way this works is through older Christians modeling the path of spiritual maturity to younger (or newer) believers (Titus 2:1-5). Anytime a believer refuses to grow and mature in Christ (Colossians 3, 2nd Peter 1:3-11) they hurt themselves and all the younger and/or less mature Christians who need to their positive example to aid in their own growth. 

Demanding perfection from others-

Nothing is more discouraging or sure to create a stumbling block with a new believer than an older believer who lacks patience and grace (1st Corinthians 13:4, 1st Thessalonians 5:14). New believers are a little bit like children (3rd John 1:4). Children are by their very nature messy, they make a lot of mistakes and sometimes they create chaos (1st Corinthians 13:11, 1st John 2:1-2).  Actual children and spiritual children need the big people around them to love them well and patiently lead them towards adulthood. They do not need people to make them feel like failures when they miss the mark. 

Being flippant about our Christian freedom-

Contrary to popular belief, Christian freedom is not about getting away with as much stuff as we can without getting sideways with God. True Christian freedom is about having a clear conscience and the spiritual power/moral fortitude to do what’s right (Galatians 5:1). When we use grace and/or Christian freedom as an excuse to walk as close to sin as possible we quickly become a stumbling block to others, especially those who are newer to the faith or who have a delicate conscience (1st Corinthians 8:9, Galatians 5:13, 1st Peter 2:1).

 Never getting around to the repentance part- 

Repentance is central to the Christian faith (Matthew 3:2-8, Luke 13:3, Acts 3:19, 2nd Corinthians 7:10, Revelation 2:5). However, many Christians lack a solid theology of repentance. We must understand that true repentance is not simply about changing our behavior. Repentance is about aligning our thinking about every issue under the sun to God’s way of thinking. When we think the way God thinks our behavior inevitably comes into line with God’s will (Romans 12:1-2) 

And finally, we become a stumbling block when we let people’s problems or issues in life keep us from investing in them or loving them well. Christians are called to be as much like Jesus as possible. Jesus was the ultimate investor in people. He was willing to die (the biggest investment one can make) so that we could have forgiveness for sin, a clear conscience, eternal life and relationship with God. We are most like Jesus when we are willing to look past a person’s problems and love them anyway. Love like that means we never become a stumbling block to anyone (1st Peter 4:8).

Does “Judge not” Mean what we all Think it Means?

Lisa M. Price1 Comment

Do not speak against one another, brothers and sisters. The one who speaks against a brother or sister, or judges his brother or sister, speaks against the law and judges the law; but if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge of it. – James 4:11 NASB

 Judge not lest you be judged (Matthew 7:1) is without question, the best known, most memorized verse in the history of history. Bible believing Christians as well as those who have never darkened the door of a church know it by heart.  Precious few hesitate to whip it out anytime a discussion veers into any sort of moral judgement call about any activity under the sun. 

But what did Jesus really mean when He said “judge not”? 

Is Matthew 7:1 really a blanket condemnation of condemnation? Is Jesus flatly forbidding the making of moral judgements? 

Nope.

 Jesus made all sorts of hard and fast judgments concerning all sorts of issues. Those issues include (but are not limited to) divorce and remarriage (Matthew 19:1-10), those who refused to care for aging parents (Mark 7:6-9), murder (Matthew 5:21-22), unforgiveness (Matthew 5:23-26) and adultery (Luke 18:19). Moreover, the entire New Testament was in a very real sense written by Jesus (John 1:1-3, 1st Timothy 3:15-16). The New Testament includes all sorts of passages that make judgments concerning a myriad of behaviors and attitudes (1st Corinthians 6:9-11, Galatians 5:19-21, Colossians 3:8-10, 2nd Timothy 3:1-5, 1st Thessalonians 4:3-8). Furthermore, Jesus is God, if He was concerned about the Bible coming off as judgmental He could have easily done something about it. 

Seriously. 

 The notion that Jesus somehow forbids moral judgments concerning right and wrong is absurd. Matthew 7:1 is (in my opinion) more about making assumptions (which are really just judgments) concerning how and why people end up in certain situations. Jesus wants us to understand no one can really know anyone else’s backstory. Therefore, it is totally inappropriate for anyone to make judgments about who does and does not deserve to be in a particular situation. 

Individuals have always tended to assume every mess or bad situation is a consequence of sin. Jesus confronted this thinking head-on in John chapter nine. Jesus and His disciples met a man born blind. The disciples just naturally assumed that the man was blind because someone sinned. They weren’t sure if it was the man or his parents but they KNEW someone in this situation must be a terrible sinner. 

 Jesus responded with: 

“Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him”-John 9:2-3. 

 Christians today are every bit as inclined to believe people in difficult situations “did something” to deserve their misery as those in Jesus’ day.  This is because the modern-day church has been intensely impacted by the enlightenment and modern psychology.  

The enlightenment was a period of scientific discovery that impacted every sphere of life. Prior to the enlightenment individuals were utterly clueless as to why stuff happened. Superstition was the norm. This was not good. Prior to the enlightenment many people groups were convinced a baby born with red hair (who didn’t have a parent with red hair) was a bad omen. The vast majority of people believed illness was the result of sin and judgment.

Enlightenment scientists taught that things happen for a reason.

Thanks to the enlightenment now we know recessive genes can be tricky and illness are caused by microorganisms called germs. Modern psychology sought to explain the roots (or reasons) for human behavior. Freud normalized the idea that everything we do is directly related to our childhood experiences. The western world has been deeply impacted by the teachings of Freud, they literally color how we see almost everything (Colossians 2:8). 

It’s not wrong or sinful to believe there are explanations for why things happen. It is wrong and sinful to assume that we know the “reason” why certain things happen, it is (in my opinion) a direct violation of Matthew 7:1. There are scenarios that breed judgement concerning the backstories. Some of those include:

Divorce

Cirrhosis of the liver 

Problems with their adult children 

Getting fired 

In the case of divorce, our assumptions will depend a little bit on our life experiences but typically we tend to assume the woman wasn’t a good wife or the man was abusive. We assume no one ever gets cirrhosis of the liver unless they’re a raging drunk. We assume issues with adult children are always due to bad and/or abusive parenting. Everyone assumes one ever gets fired unless they “deserve” it. 

I have been deeply convicted of my own tendency to make these kinds of assumptions. I do not believe I am alone in this. We all do it. However, truth-be-told, none of the above are universally true. Sometimes bad things happen. Period. Anytime, we make an assumption concerning a backstory we quickly lose our compassion. Or we stop listening to the hurting person and look for opportunities to instruct them on how to fix the problems that we believe got them in the bad situation in the first place. When we do this, we often end up giving advice that’s not related to the person’s problem and it ends up isolating the hurting person (Colossians 3:12, 1st Peter 3:8)

However.

Because we know Jesus we do better. We can learn to withhold judgment, we can take the time to really listen to their stories without assuming anything at all. We can love them like Jesus loves them.   

“Easter Eggs” and Eschatology-

Lisa M. Price7 Comments

A brother offended is harder to win than a strong city, And contentions are like the bars of a castle- Proverbs 18:19

The term “easter egg” is an expression that refers to a clue, detail or reference hidden in a movie, video game or other media. Easter eggs are designed to enrich the viewing experience and give viewers hints concerning future projects the studio is working on.  The term was coined in 1980 by Steve Wright the-then director of software development for Atari.

With all due respect to Mr. Wright, Atari and all the gaming/movie nerds in the world, it was God who conceived the whole concept of an easter egg. The Bible does not use the term “easter egg”, however it does give us clues and insights into future events, especially end time events. Jesus was clear:  no one knows the day or hour of His return, not even Jesus (Matthew 24:36, Matthew 25:13, Mark 13:32). 

Nonetheless, the Bible does give clues as to what the season of His return will look like. These “easter eggs” are critical to pay attention to because:

  1. Jesus instructs His followers to be ready for His return (Matthew 24:32-33, Luke 12:35-40, 2nd Peter 3:3-10)
  2. Jesus warns many professing Christian will NOT be ready for His return (Matthew 25:1-13, Luke 12:42-48, Matthew 25:31-46). 
  3. There will be a lot of spiritual deception specifically surrounding the return of Jesus (Matthew 24:12, 2ndThessalonians 2:1-12, Mark 13:5-22), making every clue critical. 

Some signs of Jesus return are familiar (earthquakes, wars, famines, rumors of wars, persecution, etc.), others, not so much. Over the course of the next few weeks I will discuss some of the lesser known signs of end time events. The first is found in Matthew twenty-four, a long discourse on the end of the age. It says;  

Many will be offended, will betray one another, and will hate one another- Matthew 24:10 NKJV

Offense or “getting offended” will be a huge issue just prior to the return of Jesus. There are those who believe this verse simply means people will be opposed to Jesus and the truth claims of Christianity. Without a doubt, opposition to Jesus and the Christian faith is growing. However, opposition to Jesus is not new. There have always been those who were offended by the truth claims and moral demands made in Scripture (John 14:6, Hebrews 12:14, 1st Thessalonians 4:3). The real easter egg in this passage is offense.  

This is kind of where we are living right now. Everybody is offended by everyone and everything these days.  Words are thought to be violence. As a result, there are all sorts of words that are no longer okay to say. Some make sense, no one sane would ever advocate for a return of racial slurs or misogynistic speech. 

That’s just gross.

However, there are a lot of folks who want to eliminate words that have been a part of our language for a long time, words like “manhole”, “ghetto”, “hooligan”, “uppity”, and “savage.” These same people want to ban phrases like “peanut gallery”, “food coma”, “long time no see”, and “grandfathered in” simply because they once (long ago) may or may not have been offensive to someone. This unparalleled attempt to control speech is either a clear indicator of widespread mental illness or a pervasive egocentric fixation on controlling other people, or both. 

Sigh.

The proclivity towards taking offense goes way beyond silly people attempting to criminalize words they don’t like. The Bible predicts narcissism will eventually take root in the hearts of the majority (2nd Timothy 3:1-5) and it has. Narcissists lack empathy, are hyper focused on personal boundaries, do not respect others and have no real fear of God, although they may be professing Christians.  Narcissists love themselves and are entirely self-focused. Anyone is entirely self-focused will inevitably be both easily offended and incredibly unforgiving. 

The epidemic of narcissism in our world has led to an rise in people cutting friends and family out of their lives. Sometimes, this means ghosting folks (ghosting is when someone simply stops taking a person’s calls and responding to their texts). Other times this means going “no contact” or “low contact” with friends or relatives. Even some professing Christians have fallen headlong into the offense trap. Ghosting and “going no contact” typically happen without following the biblical standard for resolving conflict found in Matthew 18:15-17 and with zero grace or mercy (Matthew 5:7, Matthew 7:1-2, Luke 6:37).

Picking up offenses is more than just silly, annoying and potentially harmful to personal relationships. According to Jesus it’s dangerous because it makes us susceptible to spiritual deception and can even lead to a loss of faith. Seriously. Matthew 24:11-12 tells us: 

Then many false prophets will rise up and deceive many. And because lawlessness will abound, the love of many will grow cold- NKJV

Picking up an offense about anything causes a person to become hyper-focused on feelings. Anytime feelings are running the show the ability to discern truth from error is diminished. If we stay in the feelings zone for long enough, discernment disappears completely and we become a sitting duck for all of Satan’s schemes (Ephesians 6:11, 2nd Corinthians 2:11, 1st Peter 5:8). 

Like, seriously. ALL OF THEM. 

The Bible says the end times will be perilous because people will be awful in ways and to a degree they have never been before (2nd Timothy 3:1-5). Christians must live counter-culturally in these times. This means doing everything in our power to stay free from offense and the sin that comes with it (Proverbs 4:14-16, Romans 16:17-18). Doing so is a powerful protection against deception and it allows Christian to shine for Jesus in a generation that’s rapidly losing its way (Philippians 2:16-17).   

Yeses that Change Everything-

Lisa M. PriceLeave a comment

For no matter how many promises God has made, they are “Yes” in Christ- 2nd Corinthians 1:20

There is a teeny-tiny little word that does not get nearly enough credit for all the good it can do. 

Yes. 

I still remember the expectancy and joy I felt as a little kid anytime an adult would say “yes” to an appeal I made or give the A-Okay to one of my little kid plans. Most people, even those of us who are way past the little kid stage of life still feel a sense of anticipation and excitement anytime we get a “yes” to a request. 

It’s just how God wired us. 

Yes, is a word that can awaken hope and give a much-needed dose of encouragement. Hearing a yes after a season of no’s is like a breath of fresh air to our souls. Getting a yes is good. However, it’s saying yes to the right things that brings transformation to our souls and opens the door for every good thing in our lives.  

Following are five of the best, most life-giving, soul-impacting yeses a human being can embrace. The first is: 

Jesus-

Without a doubt the most powerful and life changing yes of all, is the “yes” we say to Jesus’ offer of forgiveness and salvation. Saying yes to Jesus is the first step in a new life of hope and transformation (2nd Corinthians 5:17, Galatians 6:14-16). Jesus’ offer of salvation is really the best of deals. When we say yes to faith in Jesus we exchange shame, hopelessness and fear of death for joy, peace, a sense of purpose and an eternity spent with God (Psalm 16:11, John 3:36, John 6:40, John 10:28, Romans 2:7, Galatians 6:8, Hebrews 2:14-16). All we have to do is ask for forgiveness for our sin and agree to live our life for Jesus (Acts 16:31). Seriously. It’s that easy. 

Forgiving others- 

Forgiveness is a not a suggestion God makes. It’s a command with promises and curses attached (Matthew 6:14-15, Luke 11:4, Colossians 3:13). It is also a nonnegotiable piece of the discipleship process (Romans 12:14-21).  God demands His people forgive others because He knows unforgiveness, holding grudges and the bitterness that always results from holding grudges causes people to become entirely self-focused and to dwell endlessly on the negative. Unforgiveness inevitably leads to self-centered, warped and faulty thinking. Self-centered, faulty thinking makes it difficult to have healthy, God-honoring relationships (Genesis 2:18, 1st Corinthians 12:27). Human beings were created for relationship. As a result, the inability to have healthy relationships short-circuits our purpose in Christ.  It works like this: when we choose to hold on to unforgiveness that choice gives the devil a foothold in our thinking (1st Peter 5:8, Ephesians 4:26-27). Unfortunately, a little, tiny foothold is all Satan needs to twist our thinking in such a way that seeds of bitterness are planted deep in our hearts. Our bitterness in turn colors everything we experience in life, defiling us and those we love most (Hebrews 12:15). Sadly, unforgiveness quickly becomes a prison with the lock on the inside (Hebrews 12:14, Ephesians 4:30-31). Saying “yes” to forgiveness is the only key that opens the prison door.  

A fresh start- 

Everybody messes up. Even Christians. Even the most committed followers of Jesus do stupid stuff, make mistakes, get caught up in foolish passions, go sideways in life and find ingenious ways to ruin their perfectly good lives. Thankfully, God, in His infinite mercy is always willing to give anyone who wants it fresh start and a new beginning. All we have to do is ask (Psalm 5:1-19). In order for the fresh start to take root in our lives we have to humbly submit ourselves to God by choosing to do life God’s way rather than try to figure right and wrong out on our own (Lamentations 3:21-23, 2nd Samuel 24:14, Acts 3:19). 

A new level of obedience- 

We become a Christian the moment we accept God’s offer of forgiveness. One aspect of becoming a Christian is making the choice to become a student of Jesus (Matthew 11:28-30). Because Jesus loves us and ultimately wants us to be the best people we can be, He is always calling us to a new level of obedience (2nd Corinthians 5:17, 1stCorinthians 11:9-11, Colossians 3). Saying “yes” to obedience always brings us to a new and higher level of functioning in our lives. 

Gratitude

Saying “yes” to gratitude is a spiritual gamechanger. A heart of gratitude actually has the opposite effect on our thinking that unforgiveness does. While unforgiveness twists our thinking and causes us to focus on ourselves and the negative, gratitude towards God gives us clarity and empowers us to see the good in the world.  Saying “yes” to gratitude is a powerful form of spiritual protection that keeps the enemy from gaining a foothold in our thinking (Colossians 3:16, 1st Thessalonians 5:18, Colossians 2:6-7). 

Truth-be-told, there is very little in this world we have complete control over. However, what we say “yes” to is one thing we do have control over. When we choose to say yes to things that please and honor God, God, in turn, blesses our choices. Then we are formed into the image of Jesus and become a blessing (Romans 12:2, 2ndCorinthians 3:18)

It’s a win-win. 

The Four Keys to Surviving and Thriving in the Hard Places-

Lisa M. PriceLeave a comment

 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong- 2nd Corinthians 12:11 NIV

Daniel chapter three opens with what can only be described as an exhibition of unbridled narcissism.  After hearing how awesome he was (Daniel 2:37-38). King Nebuchadnezzar decided to declare himself a god and have a massive statue created in his own image (Romans 1:25). When his little vanity project was complete he threw a dedication party and commanded all the leaders in Babylon to attend.  (Daniel 3:1-3).  The attendees were instructed to bow down and worship the statue anytime the music played. 

In classic Nebuchadnezzar fashion he informed the crowd that if anyone, for any reason, failed to worship the monument to his own awesomeness he would have them thrown into a blazing hot furnace (Daniel 3:4-6). Posthaste. Three Jews, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego stubbornly refused to get on board. It didn’t take long for one of the court sycophants to take notice and rat them out to the king. 

Nebuchadnezzar was not accustomed to being told “no”. Their refusal enraged him. He had the three men be brought before him and gave them one more chance to submit or face the consequences. 

They chose the consequences. 

But not before, making perhaps, the most beautiful statements of faith found anywhere in all the Bible (Daniel 3:16-18). Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego flatly refused to submit to an idolatrous act, defend themselves, or beg for mercy. Rather, they calmly informed the king they believed their God did indeed have the power to save them. They also conceded God might choose NOT to save them. Either way there was zero chance they were going to bow down to some silly statue. Period.  

God did save them.  Spectacularly.  

Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego were bound with ropes and thrown into a furnace so blazing hot it killed the men tasked with executing them. When Nebuchadnezzar looked in on the men, not only were they alive and well, there was also a fourth man walking in the furnace with them. It is commonly believed the fourth man in the fire was the pre-incarnate Jesus. The God of the universe was so pleased with their loyalty and obedience He got into the fire with them. They walked out of that hell without so much as the smell of smoke on them. 

Dang. 

In the face of the worst kind of pressure these three young Hebrews retained their composure, fidelity to God and faith in God’s goodness. 

It’s a great story.

However, it’s more than a story. It’s also a bit of a sneak peek into future events. (Revelation 13:1-8, Matthew 24:15).  The Bible predicts that as the end of this age approaches, society and the people in it, will become scarier, less open to truth, more immoral and much more lawless (2nd Timothy 4:3, 2nd Timothy 3:1-5, 2nd Thessalonians 2:1-7, Matthew 24:1-25). All that will result in tyranny and intense persecution of anyone who refuses to worship the gods of this world. 

Christians are told to watch for signs of these times (Mark 13:34, 1st Peter 4:7). 

Our world is becoming more lawless and corrupt all the time. Barring a massive revival life will only get tougher for God’s people as the world continues to wind down (Daniel 7:21-22, Daniel 12:1, Matthew 24:9-13).  Christians should always be ready for persecution and trouble.  Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego were prepared for spiritually challenging times. Each was able to maintain their loyalty to God in the hardest of places because they chose to do four essential things.

First:

They knew God intimately and were familiar with His word-

The law (Bible) was their true north (Psalm 119). Their understanding of the law gave them knowledge about God that fueled their love for God. Knowing God, His word and how fiercely they were loved by God (Isaiah 49:15-16) kept them spiritually resilient in literally the toughest of situations. 

They were intentional about forming community-

From day one Shadrach, Meshach, Abednego and Daniel resolutely pursued community and the accountability community provides (Daniel 2:17-18). The strength they derived from their little community empowered them to resist the pressure to adapt to the Babylonian way of life. When the going got tough they had each other and that was often enough to keep them from caving to the enormous pressure to take the easy way out of a hard set of circumstances (Daniel 3). 

They decided ahead of time where the lines would be drawn-

Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego knew the time to prepare for persecution is not when things start to get scary. We prepare for persecution by building our spiritual strength slowly over time. Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego committed from day one to saying “no” to the worldly temptations that would normalize sin that were so prevalent in Babylon (Daniel 1:6-21, Colossians 2:8, 1st Peter 4:12. 1st John 13:13, Titus 2:11-12). Because they went into their situation expecting persecution they were not spiritually disillusioned or confused about where God was in their situation.

And finally. 

Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, believed with all their hearts that losing their lives (dying) would gain them something infinitely better. None of them were hung up on hanging onto the things of this world (Matthew 10:39). Their theology of heaven empowered them to walk through hell here on earth. 

We are no different from Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego.

 We have everything we need to survive and thrive the worst the world throws at us when we choose intimacy with the Father, Christian community, obedience and belief in a better future with Jesus.

How to Become a Healthier Christian-

Lisa M. PriceLeave a comment


Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you—unless, of course, you fail the test? 2nd Corinthians 13:5 NIV

Christianity is not a faith based on a bunch of rules we follow in order to get God to like us (Matthew 22:37-40). 

Consequently,

There are grey areas in Christianity.

Although, the term “grey area” is not found anywhere in the Bible. Instead, the apostle Paul tells us that all things are permissible (meaning things not forbidden in Scripture). Nonetheless, many of those “permissible” things are not beneficial to our souls or supportive to our growth (1st Corinthians 10:23-33, 1stCorinthians 6:12). 

This basically means there are things Christians can do that we should be really careful about doing (if we do them at all). A classic example would be alcohol use. It is not sinful to use alcohol. However, there are numerous warnings concerning alcohol that should cause all Christians who use alcohol to put some serious guardrails around its use (Proverbs 23:21, Proverbs 20:1, Romans 13:13, Ephesians 5:18) 

Conversely.

There are a lot of things Christians don’t have to do—things not commanded in Scripture that we ought to at least consider making a regular practice of doing, simply because those things help us grow.  

Handling the grey areas of the faith well is all about practicing wisdom. It’s about having the foresight to seek the Lord for direction and going above and beyond to do life His way (Proverbs 3:5-6). We don’t do these things in a legalistic attempt to earn God’s love. We cannot earn something that’s already been freely given (John 3:16). Instead, we choose to live honorably as a way of saying “thank you” for what we have graciously been given (Ephesians 4:1).

One thing Christians are not commanded to do, that we should probably consider doing is what I call a “personal self-check”. The apostle Paul calls self-checks: self-examination (2nd Corinthians 13:5). 

Self-checks are one of the “what’s” of the faith. 

God wants us to do self-checks because frequent self-checks lead to self-awareness. Self-awareness protects us from falling into patterns of behavior that eventually lead to sin. Without frequent self-checks we run the risk of having “a Nebuchadnezzar moment” where we are warned about our sin but refuse to see our sin or refuse to own our sin despite God’s warning and ample time to repent (Daniel 4:1-37). Anytime we willfully choose the Nebuchadnezzar route, we receive all the possible consequences of our sin rather than God’s mercy (Romans 1:24-32). The full penalty is always a world of hurt for us and the people we love.

Sigh. 

A self-check is just a series of questions we ask are ourselves on a regular basis. My personal self-check questions are all designed to keep me on the straight and narrow by forcing me to think about my life holistically rather than in just pieces and parts.  

They are as follows:

Am I in the faith?

Being in the faith is about more than praying a sinner’s prayer “once a upon a time”. It’s also about more than church attendance. One can attend church and even lead a church and still be very much outside the faith (Matthew 7:22-24). When we are “in the faith” we seek God on a daily basis, we actively seek to disentangle ourselves from sinful attitudes and behaviors. Being in the faith means going out of our way to shore up the weak areas in our spiritual lives. Lastly, those in the faith make church and friendships with other believers a priority (Hebrews 10:25, James 5:16, 1st John 1:7, 2nd John 1:5). 

What do my relationships look like?  

The state of our closest relationships is oftentimes an indicator of our spiritual health. If our life is strewn with relationships that have been damaged or broken due to our willful sin, selfishness, rudeness or lying. We have a problem that needs immediate attention or our Nebuchadnezzar moment may be right around the corner (Proverbs 11:3, Hebrews 12:14, 1st Peter 2:17, Ephesians 5:21-22, Ephesians 5:25-28, Ephesians 6:4).

Am I walking in integrity? 

The best and most basic definition of integrity is being the same person all the time. People with integrity are not chameleons who adapt to fit into whatever situation they happen find themselves in (Proverbs 10:9). Integrity is closely linked to fear of the Lord (Proverbs 1:7). If we truly believe God is who He says He is and will do what He says He will do. Then we will do our level best to stay within the lines He has drawn for us. If we don’t we won’t.  

Is there any area of my life I’m hiding from God or other people?  

If there is a part of our life we feel we need to keep on the down-low we most definitely have a problem that requires our immediate attention. Openness and honesty are the hallmarks of a holy, God-fearing people (Romans 13:12). 

What does my thought life look like? 

Our thoughts determine our actions and our actions determine the course of our life (Matthew 15:18-20, Mark 7:20-22, Ephesians 2:3, Hebrews 3:1). Therefore, every Christian ought to pay attention to what types of thoughts routinely flit through their head. If we frequently think mean, lustful, judgy, angry or greedy thoughts we need to spend some time asking the Lord what’s at the root of these attitudes. Then we need ask God to reorder our thoughts and give us the mind of Christ (1st Corinthians 2:16, Romans 15:5-6).

The “what” of daily spiritual self-checks are absolutely critical to our spiritual health in our broken sin-sick world. Self-checks keep our hearts soft towards God, our relationships with other people healthy and our lives free from the spiritual and moral drift that does us in (Hebrews 2:1)

How to make Peace Rather than Keep Peace-

Lisa M. Price2 Comments

Prophets and priests alike, all practice deceit.They dress the wound of my people as though it were not serious. “Peace, peace,” they say, when there is no peace- Jeremiah 10b-11 NIV

Humans are hardwired to pursue peace. 

Deep down in our souls we know every good and valuable thing human civilization has to offer was developed, advanced and flourished during a time of peace. The best art, music, theology, medicine and literature are all the outcome of extended periods of peace.

Without peace marriages dissolve, children wither, mental health declines, churches splinter, governments breakdown and societies crumble. 

Peace is an important element of Christian doctrine. 

Jesus’ official title is the Prince of Peace (Isaiah 9:6). He got that title by coming to earth, dying on the cross and rising from the dead in order to pay the penalty for human sin and rebellion. His purpose in doing all that was to broker peace between a sinless God and sinful humanity. Because Jesus is the bringer of peace, Jesus’ followers are instructed to make peace whenever and wherever possible (Matthew 5:9, Romans 12:18, Hebrews 12:14). The Bible teaches that the mere presence of a healthy Christian can bring peace to a place or situation. (Matthew 10:13). One of the most profound benefits of knowing Jesus is the peace He brings to our hearts even in the midst of the worst kinds of trouble and chaos (John 14:27, John 16:33). 

Because peace is so vital to human flourishing most folks will go to super human and sometimes even sinful lengths to get it and keep it. A craving for peace is why there are divorce lawyers. Peace is the reason our culture loves pharmaceuticals and there are so many bars. It’s why society collectively spends billions on police and it explains the existence of the military industrial complex.  Peace is so critical to human health people will fight wars just to keep it.  

This essentially means:

 Peace has a dark side. Peace is not always all sunshine and gummy bears. There are situations in life when the presence of peace is neither good, beneficial or life-giving. Peace quickly becomes toxic anytime we: 

Get it in the wrong way–

Interestingly enough, the most totalitarian and repressive countries on earth are also, at least on the surface, some of the most serene and peaceful places on earth. You don’t see a lot of dissent or griping or protesting in dystopian regimes. However, the people in those places are not behaving in a peaceful manner because they are thrilled with their circumstances and all is well their souls. Beneath the veneer of peace and tranquility, there is a tyrant who rules with an iron fist. No one is allowed to tell the truth or say what they believe unless the tyrant gives them the go ahead. The same thing can happen in our families, churches, businesses and friendships. A strong personality or leader keeps the peace, not by leading well, working through interpersonal problems or helping people to figure out how to figure out their issues. Rather, the leader keeps the peace through intimidation and coercion. Sometimes the coercion is stated verbally. Most of the time it’s implied. Sometimes the threat is physical, more often it’s social or relational. Typically, anyone brave enough or dumb enough to voice their concerns ends up on the “outside” of the church, family or friend group. The only way to deal with a leader who sows false peace is to leave the situation or confront the problem head-on. 

Want it for the wrong reasons-

Some people make peace simply because they are so averse to any kind of conflict, even healthy conflict they will do anything or tolerate anything just to avoid the social discomfort that comes with rocking the relational boat. Psychologists call this kind of peacemaking: codependence. Codependence is bad. Really bad. The peace we broker through codependent capitulation never leads to anything healthy or life-giving. Instead, codependent peacemaking always leads to repressed anger, game playing, bitterness and passive-aggressive revenge seeking. None of which pleases God or brings health to a situation (Hebrews 12:15, Matthew 5:37). The only way to achieve real peace is by moving forward with hard conversations in spite of any personal embarrassment or discomfort we feel.  Hard conversation is hard but it allows us to work through the issues in the relationship honestly and come to a place of real peace where people can flourish and grow.  

Take shortcuts to get it-

There are all sorts of shortcuts we can take to achieve a pretense of peace in our marriages, churches, friendships and workplaces. We can gloss over real problems, limit hard conversations, crush dissent, hide the conflict, avoid people who make us uncomfortable or pretend everything is “fine” when it clearly is not. All of these shortcuts do give an illusion of peace, at least for a season. The problem with shortcuts is they also inhibit intimacy, limit growth, and straight-up kill healthy communication.  There really is no shortcut or easy way to achieve real, authentic and lasting relationship health. We just have to be willing to be patient as we work through the conflict to get to the good stuff (cooperation, intimacy, friendship, trust). 

The pursuit of peace is a good, upright and noble thing—if we go about it in the right way. If we go about the wrong way we might get a short-term payoff that feels good in the moment but is in reality a cheap counterfeit, that brings with it a lot of long-term pain. 

Where Good Churches go Wrong-

Lisa M. PriceLeave a comment

 Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by this some have entertained angels without knowing it– Hebrews 13:1-2 NASB 1995

Let’s be real. 

Church can be tough. 

Even if you’ve attended church forever and totally “get” church. Church can be hard.  Finding a new church is even harder. Meeting new people is hard. Stepping into an environment where you don’t understand all the rules is hard. Putting yourself out there is hard. Knowing out how to fit in is hard. Making new friends is hard.  All of those things are baked into finding a church home.

 Church is also important. 

Church really is a nonnegotiable for any serious follower of Jesus.  Church is the place where unbelievers become believers and learn to obey all that Jesus taught .Church was Jesus’ idea (Matthew 16:18, John 3:3). He decided what it should look like (Matthew 5-6, Matthew 18:15-17). He prayed for it (John 17:1-25). He invested in it (Matthew 11:1, Mark 4:33).  He died for it (Matthew 26-27, Mark 15, Luke 23, John 19, Matthew 14:22-33). He rose from the dead to redeem and empower it (Matthew 28, Mark 16, Luke 24, John 20. Then He sent His people out to build it (Matthew 28:16-20).

All that makes church a biggest of big stinking deals.  

It also makes the following story super sad. I have a friend who is looking for a church. I won’t share the unpleasant details but suffice it to say her reasons for leaving her old church were one-hundred-percent valid.

Anyhoo.

My friend has attended four churches in nine weeks. She realized immediately the first two were a poor doctrinal fit. The third was tiny (not necessarily a problem). However, the pastor was also seriously unprepared (an actual problem). Number four was promising. The size was right, not too big, not too small. It was a healthy mix of age groups (young families, older adults, teens and young adults). The music was beautifully done and doctrinally on point. The sermon was solid and the doctrinal statement was sound. 

One problem. 

No one talked to her. There were greeters and they all smiled politely and made eye contact but did not say anything more significant than “hello” to her. Not once. There was a welcome time prior to the sermon and no one welcomed her. She did all the stuff you’re supposed to do. She showed up early and stayed late. She bathed. She dressed and behaved appropriately. Even with all that, no one, not even a staff member interacted with her.  

Nonetheless.

She soldiered on. A serve day was announced from the pulpit. She knew getting out and serving her community would be a good thing to do. She also knew it would give her a chance to interact with some of the people she was going to church with. 

At the serve day, she was assigned to a team and she tried to engage the other people on the team. She asked good questions, complimented the pastor on the sermon the week before and just generally did her best to be an agreeable, involved and helpful member of the team. To no avail. No one attempted to engage her when she arrived on site. No one asked her questions about herself. No one noticed when she left and went home. 

Two things. 

First.

Not every church is unfriendly. There are churches that do an outstanding job greeting new people and finding creative ways to integrate them into their church family. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. If this were the first story I heard about an otherwise solid church where the congregants appeared to lack basic social skills I would cheerfully write it off as an anomaly. It’s not. This stuff is real. Lots of people have lots of stories just like my friends’ story. 

Second. 

I know this woman. She is a committed and mature Christian. She gets church. She has social skills. She understands reality. She knows relationships are a two-way street. She did not show up at church and expect everyone to do the work for her. She was more than willing to smile, ask good questions, be friendly and get involved in the activities the church was offering. 

However.

My friend is not the only type of person who shows up at churches. Some people who show up at church don’t know Jesus. Some are clueless about how church works. They don’t understand how to get involved or make friends. Some of have poor social skills or a chip on their shoulder. Some are looking for an excuse to reject Jesus. This does not mean they need Jesus any less than anybody else. We give them the excuse they’re looking when we don’t make every effort to engage new people in a meaningful way. 

 Sometimes we become so fearful of rejection we refuse to step outside of our own tiny relational circles.  Or we become so locked into a tight little friend group that we have no room for anyone new. The problem  with letting fear or self-centeredness run the show we give the devil a foothold in someone else’s life and run the risk of running them out of church (Ephesians 4:26-27, 1st Peter 5:8). 

Here’s the thing:

Just because you feel welcome and loved at your church it doesn’t mean everyone who walks through the door feels the same.  Next week when you go to church, say a prayer, look around, let the Holy Spirit to lead you to the person who’s all alone or looks lost. Say hello, ask some questions, maybe invite them to lunch. Love on them. It’s the little things that make the biggest difference for the kingdom. 

Where Real Life is Lived-

Lisa M. Price2 Comments


How abundant are the good things that you have stored up for those who fear you, that you bestow in the sight of all, on those who take refuge in you– Psalm 31:19 NIV

My Dad died over the holidays. 

Death is never pleasant or easy. The Bible teaches death is not something human beings were created to experience (Genesis 2:16-17). Therefore, every death is grim, traumatic and depressing on some level. All that being said, as far death goes, his was less terrible than many. My Dad died quietly and peacefully in our home two days after Christmas. He didn’t linger on the edge of death for weeks or months as some do, nor was he terribly uncomfortable as he neared the end as some are. 

We were fortunate to have all four of our children with us the night he passed. Each shared something they loved about my Dad or a fond memory they had about him then we all prayed for him. A few minutes after we were done praying he breathed his last breath and that was it.

He was gone. 

The next day I gave information so his death certificate could be filed with the state. The woman filling out the paper work asked all manner of questions about my Dad’s life. Among other things, she wanted to know: where was he born?  What kind of career did he have? How many years was he married? How many children did he have? What level of education did he receive?  

On paper my Dad’s life looked pretty good.  

He graduated from college. He remained married to the same woman for forty-two years. He had a rewarding career in entomology. He travelled extensively and lived in a number of interesting places.  He fathered six children: four boys and two girls. At the end of the conversation the woman gathering the information commented that it sounded as if my Dad had lived a full and happy life. The reality of his existence was a bit different. My Dad was not a horrible man. He wasn’t evil and I doubt it was ever his intention to cause harm.  

However.

My Father did live a life that was unaltered in any conspicuous way by the restorative and redeeming work of the Holy Spirit. I’m not saying my Dad was an unbeliever. I honestly do not know if he was or he wasn’t. His spiritual state was a bit of a mystery. I do know he and I talked at length about a commitment he made to Jesus shortly after my Mother died. I also know that over the last few years my husband and I and many other Christians attempted to have a number of spiritual conversations with him. However, in his later years’ dementia became an ever-increasing issue in his life so it was hard to know exactly where he stood spiritually. I do know after his “conversion experience” he never really grew spiritually or allowed his attitudes and behaviors to be transformed by the Holy Spirit (Romans 12:2, Colossians 3:5-16, 2nd).  Like so many people in this world who commit their lives to Jesus my Father remained exactly what and who he had been all of my life. In his case this meant he was a hard man with a bad temper and a whole slew of bad habits, who judged others with a measuring stick he refused to use on himself.  Sadly, he had few friends as he neared the end of his life. He died estranged from four of his six children and his two brothers. 

Sigh.

For the sake of my own sanity I choose to believe the best about my Dad’s eternal state. The mercy of God is great and the word of God never returns void (Hebrews 4:12, Isaiah 55:11). Therefore, I am choosing to believe I will see my Dad again someday. He will be an entirely new man and we will have the relationship we were always meant to have (2nd Corinthians 5:17)  

That being said.

In my more navel-gazy moments of grief and loss I wonder what my Dad would say now that he is firmly on the other side of the great divide that exists between the living and the dead (Luke 16:26).  

If he could I believe my Dad would say that a life lived for self is ultimately a wasted life. He would advise the living to mend fences and build bridges with the people we love while we have the opportunity to do so because there will come a day for all of us when those opportunities will be gone forever. He would likely have a lot to say about the importance of avoiding bitterness and not sinning in fits of anger (Ephesians 4:26, Hebrews 12:15, Ephesians 4:31. Most significantly, I believe with all of my heart and soul my Dad would tell us all to take any commitment we have made to Jesus seriously. He would advise us to do the things the New Testament tells us to do so we will grow into the people God designed us to be.  Because then—and only then—we get the full and abundant life Jesus promises those who believe enough to put God’s words into action. 

Because that is ultimately where real life is lived.