Shortly afterward, I had a weirdly painful moment of spiritual clarity. It occurred to me that as a 21st century American I probably (obviously) have some fairly twisted views on what exactly constitutes a trial and what I was put on earth for. Truth-be-told in my heart-of-hearts I tend to think (unconsciously, most of the time) that the point of life is for me to be happy, milk as many experiences out of life as possible and enjoy the fruits of my labor.
I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed but at this point I was beginning to get an inkling that “Tom” was not seeking to understand or to be understood. He simply wanted to back me into corner and force me to call him evil.
I wasn’t in the mood to bite at that hook so I simply informed him he was wrong rather than evil and that there was a huge difference between being evil and wrong. Needless to say, things did not end well and “Tom” and I did not become “friends” on social media
All the pre-marital preparation in the world will not overcome stupidity, meanness, willful sin or relationship mismanagement. What we do after the vows are said is every bit as important (if not more so) than what we do before they are said. There are a number of common blunders people make in marriage that go way beyond mere mistakes, poor choices or communication snafus. They are behaviors and attitudes that will literally kill a marriage if they are not corrected (and repented of) quickly
We also have more than our fair share of curious worries. Even really normal people worry about stuff past generations would have thought a bit odd. Things like microbes; random terror attacks, getting old, and despotic dictators in distant countries. The more neurotic in our midst (i.e. me) do not worry about “normal things” instead we worry about more exotic issues like the long-term effects of worry on our health and whether or not cell phone radiation is scrambling our brains and turning us into a horde of mindless zombies (please don’t judge).
I am keenly aware that in the grand scheme of life and eternity none of my problems are all that significant. I have a roof over my head, a solid marriage, healthy children, a relationship with God and some close friends that I trust. In other words, all the stuff that really matters in this life is still okay in my world.
However, knowing all that did not stop me from wallowing around in negativity like a pig in the mud. I spent the better part of a day making terrible dietary choices and feeling sorry for my pathetic self.
My concerns with this trend might appear to be a bit silly and trivial on the surface, but unlike some of my other peeves this one really isn’t all that petty. This one actually has some potentially serious practical and theological ramifications.
By far, the nastiest and most damaging form of church hurt comes at the hands of so-called shepherds (Isaiah 56:11). False teachers, who use and abuse their spiritual authority to control, manipulate, defraud or sexually exploit those they have been tasked with caring for.
There are situations common to modern life so far outside of human control that they are literally the stuff of nightmares. Things like earthquakes, church shootings, terrorist attacks, forest fires, school shootings, superbugs, category five hurricanes and random acid attacks. Then, in a class all his own, we have the pudgy, punk dictator hell-bent on using nuclear missiles to prove some absurd point that I’m not even sure he understands.
If resentment is allowed to fester and grow it will eventfully mutate into bitterness. Bitterness is a destructive and defiling force that will prevent us from doing anything good in this world (Ephesians 4:31, Hebrews 12:15). For those reasons (and at least a dozen others) it’s critical we deal with any resentment we may be harboring so we can move on to a healthier way of looking at and dealing with the present situation.
Words like “revolution” “resist” and “obstruct” have become the petulant war cry of mollycoddled middle-class snowflakes (not just college students) and politicians that howl about and sometimes even riot against all things conservative and capitalist. These folks appear to be blissfully ignorant of the fact that their cushy and sheltered existence is a direct result of the system they claim to loathe.