Category: Living it out

The Biblical Blueprint for Surviving a Painful Personal Betrayal-

Lisa M. PriceLeave a comment

Keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.  Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer- Romans 12:11b-12 NASB

Hurt and betrayal happen in this life.

Both are the sad but predictable outcome of living life in a fallen world (Genesis 3:16-19, Romans 5:12, John 16:33). 

Perhaps the most crushing hurt is the kind that occurs due to a personal betrayal. A personal betrayal can be defined as an event where someone we love and/or trust to do right by us does us terribly wrong. Infidelity, meanness, a falling-out, slander, deception and breaking a confidence are all common forms of personal betrayal.

  The biblical patriarch Joseph (Genesis 37-48) is the biblical poster child for surviving a nightmarish personal betrayal. Among a bunch of other personal calamities Joseph’s own brothers sold him into slavery.  There is no rational justification for their behavior.  Joseph was young and a bit full of himself, but he didn’t do anything awful enough to warrant that kind of treatment.  His brothers were just jealous jerks who lacked impulse control and basic human decency. Joseph’s story is a tough one to read but it gives us with a blueprint for dealing with the pain of betrayal in way that makes space for God to do big things in us and the people around us. In order to survive a personal betrayal, we must:

Do what God puts in front of us to do- 

Joseph could have become an angry person; he had every reason to be. He could have allowed his hurt, anger and depression to harden into bitterness and hate (Hebrews 12:15). No one would have blamed him. He could have curled up in a ball (metaphorically speaking) and just kind of tapped out of life. That reaction would have made sense. He didn’t do any of those things. Instead, he did what God put in front of him to do and he did it all really well (Colossians 3:23).  By making that hard choice, he prevented all the above-mentioned issues, and he changed the course of human history. Most of us will not do anything as historically dramatic as Joseph did. However, we will avoid bitterness, hate and depression if we choose to invest in our relationships, look for the good and honor God in whatever work He gives us to do in the midst of a betrayal. 

Understand the nature of the situation- 

In a very real sense, every betrayal is deeply spiritual (Ephesians 6:10-12). God does not cause people to betray us (Romans 5:12, 1st John 1:5, James 1:13, Romans 8;28). That said, personal pain is one of those things God will use for our good (Genesis 50:20, Romans 8:28) and Satan wants to use for our destruction. In the aftershock of a personal betrayal the enemy will swoop in and whisper that God allowed this awful thing to happen because God doesn’t really see us or love us. The enemy will work overtime to get us to turn away from the only one who can truly give us the help and comfort we need in our deepest pain (2ndCorinthians 1:3-5).  When we understand the spiritual battle at the root of every betrayal it makes it easier to run towards God instead of away from Him (Psalm 17:6, Psalm 30:11). 

Choose to hold on to your integrity- 

Anytime we experience deep pain or loss it’s normal to want to give into fleshly responses like lust, unforgiveness and revenge. This can even morph into a feeling that we are somehow entitled to sin in whatever manner we choose. If we give into temptation our character will wither and nothing good or life-giving will come out of our trial (James 1:12).  Joseph understood this reality. When the opportunity to find consolation in illicit sex came his way, he ran (Genesis 39, 2nd Timothy 2:22). When he was forgotten by a man who owed him a huge favor, he overlooked the offense (Genesis 40, Proverbs 19:11). When he had the opportunity to extract revenge, he blessed those who sold him into slavery (Genesis 45, Romans 12:19). Choosing to hang onto our integrity in the darkest of times gives God space to bless us both in the middle of the mess as well as in the long-term (Genesis 39:19-23, Genesis 41).

Feel out opportunities for reconciliation when they arise- 

Not every betrayal will end in joyful reconciliation (Genesis 45). People don’t always change and as a result reconciliation is not always possible or even wise.  However, it is critical we do what Joseph did and feel out the opportunities for reconciliation when they present themselves, but we need to do it wisely. In what can only be described as a very weird series of events Joseph kept his identity secret and tested his brothers. He gave them a series of tests and then carefully scrutinized their behavior to see if they had changed enough to make reconciliation realistic and healthy (Genesis 42-44). Like it or not, forgiveness is a requirement in a betrayal (Matthew 6:15) reconciliation is not. That said, we are never more like God than when we forgive and then reconcile with people who have wronged us (Matthew 5:48). Therefore, it should almost always be considered. 

And finally, 

We must choose to allow God to work on us and in us in the midst of the betrayal. Betrayal is a given in this life. We live in a fallen world inhabited by sinners. That being said, we get to choose what comes out of us when we are betrayed. We can choose bitterness and hate, or we can choose to let God work in us and on us.  If we choose to let God mold us we will come out of it something beautiful the Father can and will use for His glory (Isaiah 61:3-4). 

How do we Survive the Unrelenting Ickiness of this Age?

Lisa M. PriceLeave a comment

 He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away.”And He who sits on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.”- Revelation 21:4-5a NASB

I’ve been a little down in the dumps lately and I haven’t been able to figure out for the life of me why. There have been no recent calamities in my life.  Like every human on earth, I have some personal stuff I’m dealing with but most it has been around for a while and isn’t going anywhere anytime soon. I’ve learned to manage those realities.  

I prayed about it, and I got my answer in record time. 

God showed me that it wasn’t one big, ugly thing that been responsible for my recent stay in Dumpsville. It’s a whole bunch of little things.  

I’ve spent more time than is wise scrolling on social media lately (I know, not smart).  This has caused me to become much more aware of a whole bunch of things I would love to know nothing about.  I have been assaulted by a whole lot of weird perversion that has not only been normalized but is also being celebrated with wild abandon (Romans 1:18-32). Thanks to the internet I know all about polyamorous relationships. I also know about some really sketchy uses for IVF (invitro fertilization) and what happens to all the unwanted leftover humans created in the process (Jeremiah 1:5, Ephesians 2:10). There are a lot of really mean, insanely intolerant people who are convinced behaving in a hateful manner is somehow the agreeable, kind, loving thing to do. Too many people appear to be entirely focused on themselves, their feelings, their needs and their rights (Philippians 2:3-4). Because people are so focused on their own feelings and rights petty revenge has become alarmingly common and celebrated (Luke 6:31, Romans 12:19). Apparently, forgiveness and turning the other cheek is for nincompoops and losers (Matthew 6:15). Don’t even get me started on the division and hate in the political realm. I will never shut up. 

 Thankfully, Jesus predicted all this. He also warned what the outcome could be.

Because lawlessness will be increased, the love of many will grow cold- Matthew 24:12 ESV

I used to think this verse meant that in the last days there would be a lot of law breaking and good, Godfearing people would be harmed by it. This would cause their love for and trust in God to just kind of dissolve. 

 I have rethought my original interpretation. 

Now I think Jesus foresaw that the day would come when people would no longer follow long-accepted rules of human decency. Jesus knew people would become merciless, vengeful, cruel and extraordinarily petty. He also foresaw the day when wicked people will believe they are morally superior to anyone who does not act just like them (1st Timothy 3:1-5). Living in a world with all those mean/lawless/self-righteous people will cause those who love God to become cold towards God and hardhearted towards other humans. This is kind of where we are living right now.

So, what do we do about it?

Do we scream and cry? Rail against the evils of our time? Grieve what we’ve lost as a society? Yes. Those responses are all thoroughly appropriate. However, we can’t stay there. I am convinced that getting stuck in repulsion, rage and/or despair over the ugliness of life is how we eventually end up with cold hearts towards God and people. 

Instead, we must commit to a couple of things. We must commit to learning and living out the word of God. Knowing the Bible helps in a couple of ways. It keeps our expectations about what life in this world is going to be like reasonable. The Bible is clear: THINGS ARE NOT GOING TO IMPROVE.  People will get eviler, and the moral climate will devolve (Matthew 24:37, 1st Tmothy 4:1, 2nd Timothy 3:1-5). That being said, the Bible does more than focus on the bad. The Bible also gives us the hope we need to endure to the end (Daniel 12:1-13, Matthew 24:13,1st Peter 2:19, 1st Corinthians 10:13). This world with all its unrelenting ickiness is not our home, nor is it forever. Someday God will make all the wrongs right, He will dry our tears and reward those who were resolutely faithful to Him in spite of the difficulties (Matthew 25:21, Proverbs 12:22, 2nd Corinthians 4:16-18). 

It’s also critical we stay faithful in prayer. We are in a spiritual battle and prayer is the most effective weapon we have at our disposal (Ephesians 6:10-18).  Prayer keeps us faithful in affliction and steadfast in times of testing (Matthew 26:14). When we make a regular practice of taking every hurt, every concern, every fear and every point of confusion to God in prayer it becomes the solution to all the ickiness around us. God may not take away the ickiness. However, if we ask Him to, He will give us the strength we need to withstand the evil and the wisdom we need to fight the darkness with His love and grace (John 13:35, 2nd Timothy 4:7). 

It is also critical we battle against the “if you can’t beat em join them” mentality that is so quick to take root in the human heart. We fight the temptation to become like the people around us by making a steadfast commitment to love God and people (Matthew 22:34-40). We fight it by choosing to become less like us and more like Jesus.  When that happens all of heaven rejoices and all of hell shudders. 

Lessons we can Learn from one of the Really Bad Guys of the Bible-

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 Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice, mend your ways, be comforted, be like-minded, live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with you- 2nd Corinthians 13:11 NASB

The books of 2nd Kings and 2nd Chronicles are mostly just a historical account of the Kings of Isreal and Judah prior to the Babylonian invasion of Jerusalem in 605 B.C. Most of the stories in these books are really splendid illustrations of how to do life and faith all wrong. The vast majority of the kings were really bad guys. 

Among the worst of the worst was Ahaz. 

 If good parenting was all it took to make a person good and God-fearing, King Ahaz would have been awesome. Ahaz was blessed with a father (Jotham) who loved and revered God. Jotham did most things right and (presumably) taught little Ahaz all about the God of Israel and His instructions for holy living.  God was impressed enough with Jotham that He blessed his leadership in some miraculous ways (2nd Chronicles 27:1-9, 2nd Kings 15:32-38). 

Ahaz was nothing like his dad.  

The biblical narrative tells us King Ahaz “walked in the ways of the kings of Israel” (2nd Chronicles 28:1-2). This was neither a compliment nor a ringing endorsement of his leadership albitites. Following the death of Solomon Isreal devolved into civil war and eventually split into two separate nations: Israel and Judah (1st Kings 12). Some of the kings of Judah did their best to obey God and promote godly living. Conversely, ALL the kings of Israel were universally awful; there wasn’t a decent man among them. 

 Ahaz went to great effort and expense to encourage idol worship in Israel, especially Molech worship (2ndChronicles 28:2-4). Molech was a popular pagan deity that demanded human sacrifice (Leviticus 18:21).  If one wanted to win the favor of Molech they had to burn one of their children (preferably a firstborn son) alive on a creepy metal altar.  Ahaz was more than happy to comply with these terms (2nd Chronicles 27:2-4). Ahaz also built altars to random idols on every street corner in Jerusalem and worshipped idols on all the high places and under every green tree in Judah (2nd Chronicles 27:4, 2nd Chronicles 28:24). 

 God eventually lost patience with Ahaz’s idolatry and sin. 

As a result, when Ahaz went to war against the Syrians (Aram), his army was defeated in the most humiliating manner imaginable. One-hundred-twenty thousand soldiers were killed in a single battle, including most of Ahaz’s inner circle (2nd Chronicles 28:5-9) and Syria wasn’t the only country that bested Ahaz.  Israel formed an alliance with Syria in the battle and two-hundred thousand citizens of Judah were taken as slaves. 

Most folks would have done some soul searching at this point. Even some heathens would have concluded God wanted them to head in a different direction, but not Ahaz.  Ahaz proved he was not only evil; he was also insanely stupid. 

His response proves my point: 

Now during the time of his distress, this same King Ahaz became even more unfaithful to the Lord.  For he sacrificed to the gods of Damascus who had defeated him, and said, “Because the gods of the kings of Aram helped them, I will sacrifice to them so that they may help me.” But they became the downfall of him and all Israel- 2nd Chronicles 28:22-23 NASB

You read that right. 

In his distress Ahaz decided that the best course of action would be to double down on something that was clearly failing.  As a result, old Ahaz became even more unfaithful to the Lord. Predictably, his choice led to nothing except more defeat and humiliation. Ahaz died in disgrace. The people of Judah thought so little of him that wasn’t even buried with the other kings of Judah. He just got some random plot somewhere in the city. 

I must admit I was feeling pretty dang smug as I read through this story. I congratulated myself more than once for being way smarter and more saintly than Ahaz.

 But then it hit me (kind of out of nowhere) that when I am under distress, I too, sometimes double down on some pretty stupid stuff. I don’t sacrifice my kids or grandkids to creepy pagan deities. However, I do worry like a crazy person sometimes (Matthew 6:24-34).  I have been known to eat my feelings instead of praying through whatever it is that’s causing me distress. I have also been known to lose my temper and say stupid things out of fear or frustration. 

 I have an Ahaz side to me. 

We all do. 

We all tend to turn to something sinful and foolish in times of trouble and distress. For some it’s astrology, pornography, sexual sin, drugs, shopping or some other thing or substance. Some vent their anger like crazy people or become ridiculously passive when life gets hard. 

It’s all sin and all sin leads to the same place it led Ahaz: more defeat. 

However, Ahaz’s sin didn’t have to end in humiliation and defeat. The beautiful reality Ahaz failed to grasp is that God is, at the core of who He is, compassionate, kind and forgiving (Psalm 109:21, Deuteronomy 4:31, Nehemiah 9:31, Matthew 14:14). Because God is so good, I believe with all my heart that if Ahaz had chosen to turn to God in repentance God would have forgiven him and restored him. 

Ahaz’s story could have ended in glory rather than defeat and disgrace. 

We all need to repent sometimes. It’s part of the whole being human thing. Most people think repentance is only about behavioral change. Repentance actually begins with a gut-level understanding that we have violated God’s standards of right and wrong. In order to truly repent we must choose to align our thinking with God’s revealed will in the word of God (Romans 12:2). When that happens, behavioral change comes more easily.   

Thankfully, the God of the universe does not treat us as our sins deserve. Instead, every day is fresh chance to for a do-over. Making the most of those do-overs ensures we become everything God wants us to be.   

How we Maximize our Spiritual Potential-

Lisa M. PriceLeave a comment

Be on the alert, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. All that you do must be done in love- 1st Corinthians 16:13-14 NASB

Every believer in Jesus is literally bursting with all sorts of spiritual potential.  

It’s true.

Even those who don’t think they have it, have it. Spiritual potential is a fundamental component of the salvation starter package all Christian receive (Romans 10:9-11, Ephesians 1:13-14).  Therefore, anyone who yields their life to the Lordship of Jesus is blessed with gifts, talents and opportunities to use their gifts and talents to glorify God. We glorify God and maximize our spiritual potential by building the Kingdom of God and becoming more like Jesus in word and deed (Romans 12:2-8, 1st Corinthians 12:4-31, Hebrews 2:4). 

However. 

Spiritual potential can be maximized as well as squandered (Matthew 25:14-30). There are those who make the most of their potential for a season and get tripped up by sin or selfishness or just garden-variety idiocy (Matthew 13:3-9, Mark 7:21-23, Galatians 5:7, Ephesians 4:26-28). Others use their giftedness for their own gain. Some lack the moral discipline necessary to become spiritually stable and never really grow enough to maximize their potential (Judges 13-16).

Mercifully, all those outcomes are completely preventable. 

The Holy Spirit is our helper and guide (John 14:26). Therefore, we have everything we need to make a positive difference in this world. Maximizing our spiritual potential means always keeping a healthy fear of the Lord in mind all the time (Psalm 25:14, Proverbs 1:7, Philippians 2:12). We work out our salvation by being intentional about what we do and don’t do (Ephesians 5:14-16). If we live prudently, we will successfully squeeze out every drop of spiritual potential and be greeted with “well done good and faithful servant” when we see Jesus for the first time (Matthew 25:21). Spiritual success begins with:

Making Jesus our center-

Jesus cannot simply be an accessory or an add on if we want to maximize our potential. Jesus must be central to everything we do (Psalm 22:23, Matthew 5:16, Romans 15:5-7). He must be the truth that we declare everywhere we go and the one that we ultimately aim to please. God has given us all a mission field. Therefore, if you’re a stay-at-home mom, make God known to the other stay at home moms. If you’re a doctor or a dentist or a whatever God called you to be, make sure the people in your sphere of influence know who you serve and why.  

Refusing to circle the temptation- 

Nothing wastes spiritual potential faster than foolishly allowing a temptation to morph into a sin. Everyone has a sin that is uniquely appealing to them. These inclinations used to be called “besetting sins” or “ruling passions”. Besetting sins are the behaviors and attitudes we tend to go back to and struggle to let go of. For some it’s a longing to numb out with alcohol, food or drugs (Ephesians 5:18). For others it’s an unhealthy desire to be admired that results in conforming to the world system to make friends and keep the peace (Romans 12:2, Proverbs 29:25, John 12:43). For still others, it’s greed, self-centeredness (Ephesians 5:5) or lying (Colossians 3:9, James 3:13-15). For many the temptation is sexual in nature (1st Corinthians 6:9-11). One key to dealing with a besetting sin is to stay as far away from the sin or temptation as possible. Unfortunately, if we are not walking in the fear of the Lord, we will do the exact opposite (Galatians 5:16). We will try to get as close to the sin as we can without actually committing the sin. We will circle the temptation. We will look at it, touch it and think about how good it would feel to indulge ourselves. Circling the temptation inevitably leads to sin. The answer is to NEVER circle the sin. 

And finally,

Integrity is key-

Integrity is about more than simply doing the right thing when no one is looking, although that aspect of integrity cannot be understated. Every Christian should make a practice of examining their lives daily for obvious and not so obvious behavioral inconsistencies (2nd Corinthians 13:5). That said, ultimately integrity is about more than being good. It’s about owning our junk and admitting wrong when we get it wrong.  I am convinced most of the people in the Bible who encountered ugly longterm consequences for their sin (Saul, Nebuchadnezzar, Judas) were not punished for so much for the sin itself but more for their unwillingness to admit wrong and repent when God confronted them with the reality of their sin. One aspect of integrity is letting go of our pride.   Pride is a super bad, super ugly sin because it makes us too conceited to admit wrong, apologize for our errors and repent (Acts 3:19). Pride has a blinding effect; it makes us both unable to see our sin and unwilling to humble ourselves enough to own it.  Everybody fails. It just happens, having the humility to own our failure (Proverbs 29:23) ensures our missteps become steppingstones to growth and maturity. If we combine the humility that comes with true integrity, holiness and a commitment to making Jesus our center we will become spiritually unstoppable and make the most of every once of potential God has given us.

How to Prove Oneself a Fool-

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 Listen to advice and accept discipline, So that you may be wise the rest of your days- Proverbs 19:20 NASB

A friend and I have been reading through the book of Proverbs. Less than halfway through the book it is becoming painfully obvious that God has set a dividing line between the foolish and the wise. God calls His people to live a life of wisdom (Proverbs 4:5-7, James 1:5). He makes it clear in His word that only a fool refuses to listen to advice or receive correction (Proverbs 1:7 Proverbs 12:1, Proverbs 12:15, Proverbs 15:5).

It could be argued that there are a lot of fools in our culture.

 If I were looking for the most efficient way to get “cancelled” by the largest number of people or for the fast track to becoming a social pariah I would just offer advice and correction to everyone I met whether they asked for it or not. Even if the advice I gave was good (and it would be), no one would like me. There is simply no easier way to offend the average person in our culture than to offer unsolicited advice or correction. 

Nobody likes it. 

However, just because the average person dislikes something does not mean it’s necessarily wrong or bad. Listening to advice and hearing correction is a little bit like eating fruits and vegetables. It’s not the most enjoyable thing in the world and most folks would prefer to do something else or eat something else. It is true that an individual CAN go their whole adult life without listening to advice or eating vegetables. Nonetheless, sooner or later those choices will catch up to them (and their colon) in profoundly unpleasant ways. 

 I am not suggesting anyone should blindly FOLLOW every bit of advice they are given or agree with and then act on every word of correction they receive. Well-meaning people sometimes correct without knowing all the facts and people are wrong about all sorts of things. Moreover, some advice is just plain bad. To sort through this issue, we must understand the differences between following advice and listening to advice. Listening to advice is just a willingness to hear someone out.  It’s not a commitment to anything. It’s choosing to evaluate what we hear from others. Following advice is doing what we are told.  Listening to advice is a sign of wisdom and maturity. No one should blindly follow advice without taking some time to think and pray through what’s been said. 

God gave us brains. He expects them to be used. 

 All that being said, there are some serious consequences to living life on the wrong side of God’s divide. Some of those are:

We end up avoiding wise people-  

If we avoid advice, it will not be long before we are surrounded by fools or evil people who cheerfully tell us exactly what we want to hear. Truly wise people just kind of radiate wisdom. They can’t help it. To fools and those who are not accustomed to hearing wisdom spoken, wisdom sometimes sounds like an awful lot like advice even if the person speaking is not intending to give advice. If wise counsel annoys us, we will naturally steer clear of wise people (Proverbs 9:8-9). This is a huge problem because the Bible is very clear: we become like the people we spend time with (Proverbs 13:20, 1st Corinthians 15:33). 

We prove ourselves stupid- 

It is a rare thing for a stranger to attempt to correct a person. Correction is typically only offered by those who care most about our future happiness and success.  The consequences of refusing to at least hear out those who lovingly attempt to set us on a wiser path is that we prove ourselves to be hopelessly stupid (Proverbs 12:1, Ecclesiastes 10:3). 

We invite death into our lives-  

Refusing to hear advice or correction is just refusing an opportunity to gain wisdom (Proverbs 10:8) and snubbing wisdom is taking the fast track to death of one kind or another (Psalm 38:5, Proverbs 2, Proverbs 8:33-36, Proverbs 11:19, Proverbs 14:12). Sometimes the death that results in refusing wisdom is spiritual death, the death of opportunities or the death of relationships (Proverbs 14:1). Other times refusing wisdom results in actual death death. The easiest way to avoid the death of anything good in our lives is to love wisdom (Proverbs 12:28). One critical aspect of loving wisdom is hearing advice and evaluating any correction we are given. 

We stunt our growth-

Wisdom is the key to growth. It’s the key not just to spiritual growth but also all healthy growth in all areas of our lives. We cannot grow relationally, spiritually or in any other way without wisdom. Wisdom often comes through advice given by people (1st Corinthians 3:6-7). Anytime we willfully spurn correction or refuse to listen to wise counsel, we pretty much guarantee we will remain immature and ignorant in every area of our lives (1st Peter 2:2). 

And finally, 

We refuse Jesus-

Jesus is more than just the creator of the world or our savior and Lord. He is also the manifestation of all the wisdom in the universe (Luke 2:40, Colossians 2:1-3, 1st Corinthians 1:30, 1st Corinthians 2:6-8). Oftentimes Jesus speaks His wisdom through His people. Refusing to at least evaluate the wisdom other Christians have to offer is a form of refusing God when He speaks (Hebrews 12:25). However, making the choice to hear people out is a fast track to flourishing (Psalm 92:12-15).    

The Things (and People) that Cause Bitterness-

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A foolish son brings grief to his father and bitterness to the mother who bore him- Proverbs 17:25 NASB 

In my last post I wrote about bitterness and the trouble it causes. Choosing to entertain a bitter spirit is the fast track to a life of misery, distance from God, loss of spiritual purpose and broken relationships.  

Bitterness is bad.  

Really bad. 

This is why God straight-up commands Christians to avoid bitterness at all costs (Hebrews 12:15, Ephesians 4:30-31). 

As I reflected on the turmoil bitterness inevitably produces, I found myself making a mental list of the multitude of things that cause folks to become bitter. It occurred to me (kind of out of nowhere) that I have written a lot on what bitterness does, but precious little about what causes bitterness. Then it occurred to me (kind of out of nowhere) that if someone understood the causes of bitterness it could go a long way in preventing bitterness in the lives of a lot of people. 

I would call that a major spiritual win and there is nothing I love more than a major spiritual win.

Contrary to popular belief, the things that make people bitter do not always fly out of nowhere and smack us around. Sometimes they do (more on that later). However, there are also situations where bitterness is caused by our own choices and/or events that might have been avoided with a bit of foresight and a smidge of wisdom. The four things most likely to make a person bitter are:

Sin- 

Sin makes folks bitter. It just does. It does not matter if we are the ones sinning or we are the ones being sinned against. It doesn’t even matter if it the whole messy muddle was a mutual agreement to sin. Sin is the number one cause of human bitterness (Ecclesiastes 7:26). Sometimes, we are sinned against and there is little we can do to prevent feelings of bitterness. When this happens, we must ask God for the strength and power to forgive so fully that our bitterness dissolves. Forgiveness is hard, but it’s also essential because it is the only way to get free from the bondage of bitterness (Ephesians 4:31-32, Matthew 6:15). That being said, anytime we knowingly place ourselves in a sinful situation, we run a high risk of making ourselves bitter.  Bitterness is just the natural consequence of sin.  All sin has the potential to produce bitterness. However, the sins most likely to create bitterness are sexual in nature. This is because these sins have far-reaching, sometimes even generational consequences (Ecclesiastes 7:26, Proverbs 5:3-5, Isaiah 5:20). The best way to avoid bitterness is to make a commitment to stay away from all forms of sexual immorality, including adultery, homosexuality, promiscuity and pornography. Nothing good will come from any of it. 

Totally foreseeable circumstances- 

 The best-known biblical admonition against bitterness begins with a “see to it” (Hebrews 12:15).  Anytime the New Testament begins some bit of instruction with a “see to it”, we are being told we have at least some agency in the situation (Luke 21:8, Colossians 2:8, Hebrews 12:25). Hebrews 12:15 is teaching that at least to some degree, some of the time, bitterness is avoidable. One critical aspect of preventing a bitter root is to avoid situations where we can look into the future and see there is a decent chance that we will become bitter towards the person or people involved if we don’t put an end to their antics quickly.  An example of this might be a woman offers to babysit her best friend’s child on Tuesday morning so her friend can run errands and get some “me time”.  In turn, the friend just assumes it’s okay to bring the child by EVERY Tuesday morning so she can run errands and get some “me time”. The woman who is taking advantage of the situation is obviously a source of bitterness. However, the kind-hearted woman who offered to babysit has an obligation to end the madness so that she does not become bitter towards her friend. Modern people call this “putting up boundaries”. It’s also bitterness prevention 101. 

Lack of wisdom and foresight- 

Wisdom is an undervalued commodity. Few people care about acquiring wisdom,  although everyone ought to. Wisdom is a protective force (Ecclesiastes 7:12, Proverbs 2:11-12, Proverbs 3:13-18). Wisdom provides safety, protection and it increases our odds of success in every arena. Wisdom also prevents bitterness. When a person is wise, they have foresight or prudence (Proverbs 1:3-5, Proverbs 8:12). Foresight gives people the ability to see around the corners of life (metaphorically speaking). This allows them to predict which situations or people will cause us them to become bitter. Anyone can get wisdom, all we have to do is ask for it (Proverbs 4:7, Proverbs 19:8, James 1:5-6).

And finally:

Evil people cause bitterness- 

Ultimately, evil people are also selfish people. Selfish people simply do not care about the hurt or turmoil they create. Consequently, evil people spread bitterness everywhere they go. Sadly, we live in a fallen world (Genesis 3, Romans 5:12), therefore avoiding evil people is not always a viable option (Matthew 18:7). However, we can choose to put evil people in the hands of God and trust Him to deal with them in His own way and time (Proverbs 3:5-6, 1st Peter 2:6). Choosing to trust God and believing in His goodness is the number one way to prevent bitterness.

The Four Kinds of Trouble Caused by Bitterness-

Lisa M. Price1 Comment

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you- Ephesians 4:31-32 NIV

Bitterness is bad. 

Really bad. 

In every reference to the emotion of bitterness, the Bible either clearly identifies bitterness as a sin or as the direct consequence of sinful human choices (Ecclesiastes 7:26, Proverbs 5:3-5, Proverbs 17:25, Jeremiah 4:18). Christians are straight-up commanded not to be bitter (Ephesians 4:31, Hebrews 12:15). The writer of Hebrews warns that bitterness is especially problematic for Christians because it triggers a unique kind of “trouble” for believers (Hebrews 12:15). It’s not overstating facts to say bitterness is an exceptionally toxic spiritual poison.  When we allow bitterness to take root it produces a playground for the enemy of our souls (Ephesians 4:26-27, 1st Peter 5:8). It also defiles (ruins, taints, corrupts) both the bitter person and the people they love. 

Yikes. 

Bitterness produces a special kind of trouble, one that has the power to trip of even the best and brightest of God’s people. That trouble includes:

Hindering our ability to worship God-

One of the biggest spiritual issues with bitterness is that it profoundly impairs our ability to worship God. At the heart of all genuine worship is a spirit of gratitude and thanksgiving (1st Chronicles 16:34, Psalm 107:7, Colossians 3:16). It is literally impossible to be grateful to God and bitter at the same time. It simply cannot be done; salt water and fresh water cannot come from the same source (James 3:10-12). A person can worship God or they can hang out in the bitter barn. No one can do both. Additionally, I have observed it is very common for bitter people to simply quit church altogether. This is because a bitter person struggles to worship God freely and worship is the primary reason Christians gather. If you are a Christian and worship holds no appeal to you, or worse yet annoys you, bitterness is likely an issue. 

Becoming bitter short-circuits the only good thing that can come out of a trial- 

It’s simply a fact that if we experience enough trials in rapid succession without processing them properly, trials will make us bitter (Ruth 1:1-21). However, it is also true that trials serve a valuable spiritual purpose (1st Peter 1:5-7, James 1:2-4). Trials refine us and help us to understand what’s important in life. Trials also give us a deeper and more profound longing for heaven, unless we allow ourselves to become bitter. If we become bitter due to trials all we get out of them is cynicism, broken relationships and lost spiritual opportunities. If a trial (or series of trials) has left you angry, reclusive or depressed bitterness may be to blame. 

Bitterness hinders our spiritual purpose- 

God could rapture His people off the planet as soon as they come to faith in Jesus. He’s fully capable and it would make things easier for us, but He doesn’t. Instead, God leaves us in our families, friend groups and communities for the specific purpose of being His faithful witnesses to a lost and dying world (Matthew 28:19-20, Acts 1:8). One of the chief objectives of salvation is to become as much like Jesus as we possibly can so that the unbelievers and skeptics around us see Jesus in us and want to know Him better (2nd Corinthians 3:18). Bitterness makes effective evangelism nearly impossible, partly because bitter people reflect God poorly.   

Bitter people make people bitter- 

I am convinced that with a few notable exceptions, bitter people don’t intend to make other people bitter, but they do. Bitter people spread bitterness like a bad cold because bitterness makes people entirely self-centered.  The constant self-focus leads the bitter person to do outlandishly thoughtless and just plain mean things to the people they care about most.  Sadly, the bitter person is so self-focused they are either blinded to what they are doing to others, or they feel justified in their behavior. When someone is routinely hurt or mistreated by someone being eaten alive by bitterness, they quickly become bitter themselves, this is how bitterness “defiles many”. 

Bitterness is never inevitable; it can always be avoided or dealt with. The best way to avoid bitterness (or deal with it effectively) is to routinely examine our lives (2nd Corinthians 13:5).   Ask yourself the following questions:

Do I become excessively angry at the sins or folly of others?

Do I lack grace? 

Do people annoy me for no reason? 

Do I have a pattern of cutting people out of my life? 

Do I routinely make bad decisions because I refuse to take advice from others?

All of the above are signs of a bitter spirit. 

Anger, resentment and irritation are the precursors to bitterness. Anytime we begin to feel those feelings on a regular basis, it’s a sign bitterness is beginning to take root in our hearts. The antidote to bitterness is honest prayer and a willingness to forgive those who hurt us (Matthew 18:21-35, Mark 11:25, Luke 6:37, Colossians 3:13). We must make a habit of sorting out our hurt, pain and disappointment with life and people before the Lord. Honest prayer is rarely a one and done when it comes to correcting a bitter spirit. We must be willing to take our feelings before God until our hearts soften, and we are walking in alignment with the God who forgives completely and loves without limits ( John 3:16, Acts 10:43, 1st John 3:1, Psalm 103:12)

What are the Fruits of Salvation?

Lisa M. Price1 Comment

Those are the ones sown with seed on the good soil; and they hear the word and accept it and bear fruit, thirty, sixty, and a hundred times as much- Luke 8:15 NASB

Doctrinal controversies and theological disputes are not new to Christianity. Early Christians began hotly debating the finer points of the faith shortly after Jesus ascended into heaven (Acts 15). Early believers argued endlessly over what role (if any) the Law of Moses should play in Christianity.  They also fought over the nature of Jesus, which holy days should be celebrated and whether there was secret knowledge certain Christians possessed that others did not (Colossians 2).   

Contemporary Christians still debate issues. However, we tend to argue over an entirely different set of controversies.  Contemporary Christians will throw down over things like the role of women in the church, spiritual gifts and Bible translations. But by far, the most contentious argument in the church today is over what role Christian fruit (or works) should play in the Christian life. 

The role works play in salvation is a settled issue. 

 All people are saved the same way. We are saved by God’s grace when we turn to Jesus in faith. Salvation is a gift. No one can earn salvation. No one, no matter how good they are is good enough to earn access to heaven. We are all just too dang sinful (Romans 3:23). Once we humbly accept the reality of our own unworthiness, Jesus mercifully cleanses us from all unrighteousness, and we begin our faith journey (1st John 1:8-10). 

However. 

Bearing fruit, sometimes called “works” post salvation is another issue altogether (Matthew 5:16, James 2:14-18, 1st Timothy 6:18-19). Some Christians believe that suggesting there should be any works post-salvation is nothing short of heresy and an insult to God’s grace (Ephesians 2:8-9). These folks believe freedom in Christ (Galatians 5:1) means freedom from all rules, works and standards of behavior.  This group is well-intended, and not entirely wrong.  We cannot earn our salvation, nor do we have to “be good” to keep it.  If we had to be good to stay saved one would stay saved because we all fail daily. It’s an aspect of our human nature no one can escape. 

However. 

If expecting believers to “bear fruit” or do “works of righteousness” is heresy, then Jesus was a flaming heretic. 

Seriously. 

On numerous occasions Jesus straight-up commanded His followers to “bear fruit” (John 15:2, Mark 4:20, John 15:16) and do good works (Matthew 5:16, John 14:12). Matthew’s last recorded sermon of Jesus (Matthew 24:42-25:46) is really all about the importance of Christians bearing spiritual fruit. Matthew 24:42-25:46 also contains some rather alarming warnings concerning what happens when a follower of Jesus refuses to bear fruit.

 There are at least five kinds of fruit Christians are expected to produce. The first is: 

The fruit of repentance- 

Jesus called for repentance a lot (Matthew 4:17, Luke 5:31-32, Luke 13:1-5, Luke 15:7-10). He also chastised those who refused to repent (Matthew 7:21, Matthew 11:20, Matthew 12:41). Jesus did not forbid His forerunner (John the Baptist) from demanding repentance (Matthew 3:3-8, Luke 3:1-17). Repentance is not simply a change of behavior. Repentance is a process that begins with a change of thinking so dramatic it leads to behavioral transformation (Romans 12:1-2).  Coming to a place in our spiritual maturity where we agree with Jesus about right and wrong, is the first step in bringing our behavior into alignment with God’s will (1st Corinthians 6:9-11, Colossians 3, 1st Thessalonians 4:1-8, Ephesians 4:17-30). When we change our minds about sin we bear the fruit of repentance.

The fruit of obedience- 

Jesus is more than just our savior, He’s our Lord (Luke 14:27, John 13:13, Colossians 2:6, Psalm 86:11). Making Jesus our Lord means we put Him and His will for our lives above our own desires and even all earthly authorities (Exodus 20:3, Matthew 10:37-39, Philippians 2:9-11). When we choose devotion to Jesus above all else, we bear the fruit of obedience. 

The fruit of holiness- 

Contrary to popular doctrinal belief, holiness is not legalism. Holiness is the fruit of gratitude for our salvation. Believers in Jesus are called to be holy just as God is holy (Ephesians 1:4, 1st Peter 1:15-16). This does not mean we live a life of sinless perfection (we can’t). It does mean we choose to honor God by shunning intentional sin. When we do our best to live holy lives we bear the fruit of holiness.  

The fruit of love-

Christians are called to love all people all the time (John 13:34-35). This does not mean Christians should seek to be “nice” all the time. Biblical love is kind and compassionate, but it is also truthful about all things, even hard things. True biblical love always seeks the best for all people.  When we live and love by the standards set in 1stCorinthians 13, we bear the fruit of biblical love. 

The fruit of faith- 

Faith is the foundation of all things Christian, and bearing the fruit of faith is no easy thing. Faith is literally trusting God when it makes zero sense to do so. Faith is believing God will do what He said He would do when we aren’t seeing change. Because faith is hard, faith pleases God in ways that are almost impossible for the human mind to grasp (Hebrews 11). 

Truth-be-told seeking to bear spiritual fruit can easily drift into pride and spiritual smugness. The secret to avoiding spiritual pride is to remember that no one, no matter how good they are can do any of this in their own power. We simply do not have enough inherent goodness in us to pull it off.  The Holy Spirit is our guide and helper in every aspect of the Christian life (John 14:26, Hebrews 13:6). When we fully and completely submit our lives to God the Holy Spirit does the work in us. 

How does one Christian Protect the Faith of Another?

Lisa M. PriceLeave a comment

I am giving you a new commandment, that you love one another; just as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all people will know that you are My disciples: if you have love for one another- John 13:34-35 NASB

This week as I was reading through Matthew eighteen, I came across a statement Jesus made that no one really likes to talk about. Mostly, because no one really likes to think about what it really means:

Woe to the world because of its stumbling blocks! For it is inevitable that stumbling blocks come; but woe to the person through whom the stumbling block comes! Matthew 18:7

Contextually this verse is a part of a greater statement Jesus made about the faith of children. Because this verse (on the surface at least) appears to be ONLY about children it is rarely given the consideration it probably deserves. 

I suspect Jesus wants us to apply a broader brush.

Matthew eighteen is not just about the faith of “children” because Jesus says that all people must become “as children” in order to enter the Kingdom of God. So, when Jesus talks about people causing other people to stumble, I believe we should assume He is giving a general warning about how we conduct ourselves as Christians (Luke 17:1, Romans 14:13, 1st Corinthians 8:9). 

HOWEVER.

We should all assume that causing a child to sin, whether they love Jesus—or not— is a particularly outrageous form of wickedness that genuine Christians will avoid like the literal plaque. Seriously. 

But I digress. 

Jesus’ warning begs a couple of questions: 

What is a stumbling block? 

How does one person cause another to stumble? 

Inquiring minds want to know, because inquiring minds recognize this issue is obviously a VERY big deal to Jesus.  A stumbling block is something one person does that causes another person to doubt the goodness of God or causes them to think it’s okay to do something that is unwise or even wrong. When we avoid certain attitudes and behaviors we protect the faith of those around us and we avoid becoming a stumbling block. Ultimately, it’s all about loving people well and avoiding the following:

Grumbling- 

I’m will not belabor this point, mostly because I wrote in-depth about grumbling just last week. Nevertheless, there are things that bear repeating. This is one of them. Grumbling, and its ugly counterparts (complaining, fault-finding, lack of gratitude) are contagious and can easily cause those weaker in the faith to stumble especially when the grumbling is focused on other Christians and/or Christian leaders.

Refusing to Grow-

Paul describes the church as a body where all the members are connected to one another. Not only that— we need one another (1st Corinthians 12:12-26). One way this works is through older Christians modeling the path of spiritual maturity to younger (or newer) believers (Titus 2:1-5). Anytime a believer refuses to grow and mature in Christ (Colossians 3, 2nd Peter 1:3-11) they hurt themselves and all the younger and/or less mature Christians who need to their positive example to aid in their own growth. 

Demanding perfection from others-

Nothing is more discouraging or sure to create a stumbling block with a new believer than an older believer who lacks patience and grace (1st Corinthians 13:4, 1st Thessalonians 5:14). New believers are a little bit like children (3rd John 1:4). Children are by their very nature messy, they make a lot of mistakes and sometimes they create chaos (1st Corinthians 13:11, 1st John 2:1-2).  Actual children and spiritual children need the big people around them to love them well and patiently lead them towards adulthood. They do not need people to make them feel like failures when they miss the mark. 

Being flippant about our Christian freedom-

Contrary to popular belief, Christian freedom is not about getting away with as much stuff as we can without getting sideways with God. True Christian freedom is about having a clear conscience and the spiritual power/moral fortitude to do what’s right (Galatians 5:1). When we use grace and/or Christian freedom as an excuse to walk as close to sin as possible we quickly become a stumbling block to others, especially those who are newer to the faith or who have a delicate conscience (1st Corinthians 8:9, Galatians 5:13, 1st Peter 2:1).

 Never getting around to the repentance part- 

Repentance is central to the Christian faith (Matthew 3:2-8, Luke 13:3, Acts 3:19, 2nd Corinthians 7:10, Revelation 2:5). However, many Christians lack a solid theology of repentance. We must understand that true repentance is not simply about changing our behavior. Repentance is about aligning our thinking about every issue under the sun to God’s way of thinking. When we think the way God thinks our behavior inevitably comes into line with God’s will (Romans 12:1-2) 

And finally, we become a stumbling block when we let people’s problems or issues in life keep us from investing in them or loving them well. Christians are called to be as much like Jesus as possible. Jesus was the ultimate investor in people. He was willing to die (the biggest investment one can make) so that we could have forgiveness for sin, a clear conscience, eternal life and relationship with God. We are most like Jesus when we are willing to look past a person’s problems and love them anyway. Love like that means we never become a stumbling block to anyone (1st Peter 4:8).

The Big Uglies that Lead to Bigger Trouble-

Lisa M. PriceLeave a comment

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new- 1st Corinthians 5:16-17 NKJV

Most Christians get what sin is.  

The most basic definition of sin is disobedience to God’s commands. We sin when go our own way and do our own thing with no thought to God and His will for His creation (us). Because we are endlessly creative in our degeneracy it is nearly impossible to give an exhaustive list of ALL the possible sins. Some classifications of popular sins would include sexual immorality, deceit, murder, and idolatry. 

Here’s the thing though: 

Sin is much more complex than a simple act. There’s always a lead-up. No one just wakes up one day and out of the clear blue sky decides “today I will commit murder”. The book of James tells us that sin has roots. James calls these roots “desires”. Some translations use the word “lusts” (James 1:15, James 4:1). 

I call them the big uglies. 

The big uglies are the attitudes and aspirations that, if left untended eventually give birth to life destroying sins like adultery, bitterness, murder, greed, deceit and slander. If we allow ourselves to entertain these attitudes sin is without question knocking at our door (Genesis 4:7). 

The top five spiritual uglies are:

Pride-  

Pride is perhaps the most pernicious of the uglies. Pride was the sin that transformed Lucifer into Satan (the deceiver) and got him thrown out of heaven (Ezekial 28:12-15, Isaiah 14:13-14).  Pride is easy to spot in others but difficult to see in ourselves. Prideful people see themselves as more important than others and therefore entitled to certain rights and privileges others are not allowed.  Prideful people are reluctant (to the point of unwillingness) to admit wrong even when it’s painfully obvious, they are wrong. Prideful people (sometimes called narcissists) refuse to humble themselves, or admit fault (Proverbs 29:23, 1st Peter 5:5-6). Prideful people believe in their heart-of-hearts they are better than others. This makes them unforgiving and unwilling to extend grace (Matthew 6:15, Ephesians 4:32, Matthew 18:4). A prideful person will do ANYTHING to save face and come out on top. Anything includes (but is not limited to) big sins such as lying, controlling others, slandering and boastfulness (Leviticus 19:16, Psalm 101:5, Romans 1:3, Revelation 21:8). God despises pride (Proverbs 6:16-19, Luke 14:11). 

Rebellion- 

Rebellion is the stubborn rejection of legitimate authority. Rebellion is the big ugly sin that led to the fall of mankind (Genesis 3). Rebellion is closely related to pride. Rebellion begins with a prideful belief that “I know what’s best” and usually ends with a determined unwillingness to take “no” for an answer. Rebellion eventually manifests itself in open defiance towards all authority including God. A rebellious person has an “it’s all about me” view of life. They have no respect for authority, rules or the needs of others.  God puts rebellion in the same category as witchcraft. Rebellion is ultimately a veneration of self and therefore a super icky form of idolatry (1stSamual 15:23). 

Selfish ambition-

Selfish ambition is the yearning to create a following for oneself.  It’s a longing to be a big deal. Selfish ambition hurts the church because the selfishly ambitious person is mainly interested in using Jesus to become well-known and well-thought of (Philippians 1:17, Galatians 5:19-20, Philippians 2:3). Selfish ambition sometimes looks like “spreading the gospel” or “growing the Kingdom”.  It’s not. Those things always lead to peace, flourishing and healthy community. Selfish ambition, on the other hand always leads to strife, envy and conflict in the church (James 3:14-16).  The whole point of Christian leadership is to point people to Jesus and help them grow into the image of Jesus (Ephesians 4:11-12). At the end of the day a selfishly ambitious leader is always more interested in elevating themselves than Jesus. 

Jealousy- 

These days most folks see jealousy as more of a character defect or a moral shortcoming rather than an actual sin. However, God sees human jealously as one of the foulest and most dangerous of sins. Jealousy or envy is deeply rooted in the sin of covetousness (Exodus 20:17). Jealousy is never content with what it has (1st Timothy 6:6, Hebrews 13:5). It wants what others have and will stop at nothing to get it. The pharisees were so profoundly jealous of Jesus authority and influence they murdered Him (Matthew 27:18). A truly jealous person cannot stand to share the stage with anyone. 

 Self-reliance-

Self-reliance is when we choose to do any part of life without consulting God through prayer and Bible study for direction.  Self-reliance is choosing to lean on our own flawed understanding of the world rather than seeking God’s wisdom and moral insight (Proverbs 3:6). A self-reliant person often sees God’s commands as cumbersome and difficult rather than God’s way of protecting His people from harm. This stupidity harms the self-reliant person and creates chaos in the lives of those they lead and influence. 

Here’s the thing about the big uglies: 

Literally, ANYONE can get entangled in a big ugly (Hebrews 12:1). Seriously. Some of God’s best and brightest drifted toward pride, rebellion, selfish ambition, jealousy and self-reliance (David, Solomon, Hezekiah, Peter). The key to avoiding the attitudes that lead to us (and those we love and serve) to hell is a gut-level commitment to sticking as close to Jesus as we can possibly get. No one can escape the appeal of sin without God’s help. Therefore, it is imperative we make God, prayer, God’s word and intimacy with God our number one priority.