Category: Feelings

Five Things every Christian Ought to Think About Everyday-

Lisa M. Price1 Comment

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things~ Philippians 4:8 NIV

 I have been “cursed” with a temperament that tends to overthink just about everything. I also veer towards thinking a lot about a lot of different issues. There is literally no end to the number of random thoughts and ideas that flit through my head in a given day. Regrettably, I do not have a mind like a steel trap. As a result, most of those thoughts and ideas depart as quickly as they appear.

All that being said, occasionally someone will say something that will cause a random thought to take root and I will spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about a subject and that subject makes its way into a blog post. 

Such was the case this past week. 

 We have teenager in our home who states at least six times a day that she “just didn’t think” about something. The things the girl does not think about are things most people think about all the time without even realizing they are thinking about them. Her curiously vexing acknowledgement has gotten me thinking a great deal about the subject of thinking. More specifically, I have been thinking about how what we think about (or don’t think about) shapes who we become and what we do. In the NASB version of the Bible Proverbs 23:7 says that what a man thinks about he eventually becomes and Jesus further expresses the same idea in Mark 7:21 when He states that evil thoughts always precede evil behavior. 

 Very few (if any) Christians are inclined toward the kind of thinking that leads to openly evil behavior. Rather, most Christians tend towards the kind of wrong thinking that leads to misguided or incorrect behavior. The problem with misguided or incorrect behavior committed by Christians is that it almost always leads to a kind of passive evil that hurts people on an eternal level because it is done in the name of religion. The bottom line on this issue is that what Christians choose to think about matters. I came up with five random things I believe we should all think about on a regular basis because if we don’t we suffer and so does everyone else.  

Beginning with:   

People really can change-

The gospel (good news) of Jesus Christ is about far more than simply sidestepping an eternity spent in hell (although that message is definitely in there). The really good news of the gospel is that sinful, dirty, mucked-up human beings can be entirely transformed into new people with new desires and new attitudes when they put their faith and trust in Jesus Christ (Romans 12:2, 2ndCorinthians 3:18, 2ndCorinthians 5:17). When we forget this categorically startling truth it diminishes the churches power to transform the culture because we tend to sideline those Christians we deem less desirable due to their lack of education, past mistakes or upbringing. It also keeps individuals from personally seeking the radical transformation necessary for every Christian to reach their full potential in Jesus. 

God loves people we don’t love just as much as He loves us-

God loves all of us in spite of our idiocy, faults, weaknesses and inability to pull it together and get the job done. That means that God wants the ridiculous, bothersome, entirely not self-aware people in our lives to learn from their mistakes, grow in their relationships and become better people. He might even be using us to orchestrate those things in their lives. Keep this truth at the forefront of your mind next time another Christian starts to bug you.  

 Feelings are mostly wrong-

Recently, a real live human (a Christian) told me with a straight face that if they “felt that something was true their feelings made it true”. I will not lie, it took me a minute to recover my bearings. I am categorically unaccustomed to hearing that kind of bold-faced insanity being spoken aloud. Once I recovered, I quickly pointed out that two people can have opposing feelings about the exact same issue or situation.  When that kind of conflict develops it has to be an agreed upon set of facts that becomes the deciding factor in what is true. If any other standard becomes the norm we will devolve into moral and intellectual chaos.

Politics and religion are not equal-

I have some strong political views, most of them are solidly conservative. I try to base my views on biblical truth rather than my feelings or what our Western culture believes about a particular issue. However, even with those qualifiers my political views are not on the same level as my religious beliefs. We should be very careful about writing off other people based entirely on their political opinions. Rather, we should attempt to persuade those who think differently than we do with reason, grace and biblical truth. 

 And finally, mercy is way better than judgment, I am a truth person. This reality is demonstrated in the fact that every spiritual gifts’ test I have ever taken I consistently scored lowest on mercy. Every. Single. Time. Even the times I tried to cheat and game the test I still scored dead last on mercy.  I am not proud of this fact but it is a fact. I fought against this fact for years and tried desperately to be softer and squishier than the way God made me. It took me a while to realize that people like me add something necessary to the body of Christ. We keep the feelers from getting excessively feely and the mercy folks from handing out cheap grace like it was fun-size candy on Halloween. That being said, with God mercy always wins out over judgment (James 2:13) and if I want to be like Jesus I have to embrace the grace and mercy He came to give. 

Is the Bible Unloving? It’s a Question that Needs an Answer-

Lisa M. Price1 Comment

The Word (Jesus) became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth~ John 1:14 NKJV

 It’s been a long, miserable week in the the Pacific Northwest. Most of our region is literally on fire right now and the city I live in is so smoky and gross the whole house smells like we’ve been barbecuing in the basement. The local health department has officially classified the air quality as “hazardous”.

 The heat, smoke and air quality left me feeling more than a little unmotivated. As a result I found myself struggling to come up with a topic for this weeks blog-post. Inspiration came early Tuesday morning when I opened Facebook and ran across what I felt at the time was a rather innocuous quote from Bible teacher, Beth Moore…    

 You will watch a generation of Christians—OF CHRISTIANS—set the Bible aside in an attempt to be more like Jesus. And stunningly it will sound completely plausible. This will be, perhaps, the cleverest of all the devil’s schemes in your generation. Sacrifice truth for love’s sake, you will rise or fall whether you will sacrifice one for the other.

  Beth Moore literally could not to be any more on point with her observations. The spiritual tension that exists between biblical truth and the culture’s definition of love is the greatest theological conundrum of our generation. I have believed for a long time that if the church doesn’t get its proverbial act together and figure out a way to communicate the truth concerning this critical issue, biblical Christianity will dwindle down to a tiny remnant within a generation.

Here’s the thing:

If we set aside truth in favor of “love” we’re done. The entire world will enter a spiritual and moral dark ages, the likes of which the world has not seen since the dawn of the Christian age.

 It was not Beth Moore’s words that got me spoiling for a smackdown. It was the absurd responses to her quote I found frustrating.  To my astonishment, most of those who commented disagreed with Beth Moore. Some vehemently. All the dissenters called her unloving and accused her of lacking compassion. A few even called her out for making an idol out of the Bible.

 Seriously? Is that even a thing?

 Sadly, too many Christians have twisted love into something not found anywhere in Scripture.

 There are two truths we need to acknowledge concerning Jesus, love, and the Bible. First, we simply cannot separate the words of Jesus from the rest of the Bible. In the book of John, Jesus is referred to as The Word. By using that particular designation to describe Jesus, John is making a powerful statement about who Jesus is and what exactly Scripture is meant to reveal.

In John 1:1 the Apostle declares that Jesus is the personification and expression of all of the words of God. This means Jesus is the substance and incarnation of all that had been written in the Old Testament law and all that was to be written in the New Testament letters.

In a very real sense: Jesus IS the Bible. 

 This means that the statements Jesus made in the gospels (the red letters that contemporary Christians get all excited about) are no more or less significant than the Old Testament Law and the New Testament letters. Jesus is the perfecter of our faith and the author of ALL of Scripture. Not just the Scripture we feel comfortable with or those that reflect our current cultural values and sensibilities (Hebrews 12:2, 2nd Timothy 3:16, Luke 24:27).

 Jesus fulfilled the ceremonial requirements of the law and we no longer live in a theocracy, so as 21st century Christians we no longer sacrifice animals to have our sins forgiven (Jesus took care of that for us). Nor do we follow the civil laws that were given specifically to the nation of Israel. However, that doesn’t mean that the entire Old Testament should be tossed out because much of the Old Testament FEELS unloving to contemporary readers who have a nasty habit of leaning on their own understanding of reality rather than the revealed truth of God (Proverbs 3:5-6)

 The second truth we must understand and come to terms with is that the good news of the gospel is wrapped up in a whole lot of really bad news. The good news is: God loves people so much that He sacrificed His only son so that we could be forgiven and spend eternity with God (John 3:16).

 The bad news: is that God is a holy and perfect and He really hates sin. God decided before the foundation of the earth was laid what actions are and are not sinful. He has not modified or relaxed His standards on those issues. The penalty for for sin is awful: eternity in hell forever separated from God and all that is comforting and good. All people are sinners who cannot under any circumstances get right with God and be forgiven unless they are willing to leave their life of sin and follow Jesus wherever he leads (John 8:11, Mark 8:34).

 Those are two truths we must be honest about as we share the love of God with people. When we don’t tell the whole truth about life and sin and eternity we are really telling a lie that will eventually lead to the spiritual death of those we claim to love.

 There’s nothing loving about that.

A Defense of Motherhood in an age of Disdain for Children and Family-

Lisa M. PriceLeave a comment

  Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from God. Psalm 127:3 NIV

 They’re everywhere.

 Stories of women from around the world who freely admit they seriously regret having kids.

 The first time I saw one of the headlines I was dubious. Surely, the author was overstating the extent of the issue to get clicks? However, research revealed this is indeed a real thing. I found dozens of articles on the subject and a plethora of chat rooms and support groups that serve as safe spaces for women who sincerely wish they never had kids.

 My first impulse was to judge.

 Not because women feel the way they feel. I learned long ago, feelings (unlike actions) are not something easily controlled. And as someone who has had some pretty inappropriate thoughts and feelings concerning all sorts of things and people I would never judge anyone for feeling a particular way.

For reals.

 That said, I struggled to withhold judgment when I saw these women vomiting up their feelings all over social media. Call me old-fashioned, but even in the age of compulsive over-sharing I still believe there are circumstances where it is thoroughly appropriate to shut our pie-holes. I still believe some feelings are best left bottled-up nice and tight in the presence of most people. There are some feelings that should only be shared in the privacy of a counselors office or in the presence of a very close friend. Regret over giving birth to a person who might see those regrets in print is one of those times.

Seriously.

 Because defending something or someone is far superior to judging something or someone I will do my best to lose any judgment I’m struggling with and attempt to make a defense for the cause of Motherhood (Matthew 7:12). I will not attempt to gaslight you by feeding you some insipid or overly spiritualized line about how fulfilling and blissful every moment of motherhood is. That is simply not true. Like most things in life mothering does have its moments of blissful fulfillment, but it’s far from easy and blissful, especially in the early years.

 As the Mother of four I know for a fact that while you’re in the middle of raising young children, parenting FEELS like nothing more than a lot of hard work, exhaustion and frustration punctuated with moments of agonizing self-doubt and fear. That being said, as someone who has raised kids to adulthood I can also tell you that mothering is worth the effort for four reasons:

 Mothering impacts the future like nothing else-

 To my eternal shame my children know very little about their great-Grandmother. She was an amazing woman who sadly, died long before they were born. I doubt any of them could tell you her first name (it was Areta). They certainly don’t know what she did for a living or any details concerning her likes or dislikes. However, I see a lot of her attitudes and values including fair-mindedness, generosity, and the value of hard work living on in my own kids. She sowed those ethics into me and I have done my level best to pass her legacy on to them. Most people a hundred years from now will not know or care about what you did for a living but they will know exactly what you valued in life because they will see those values living on in your children and grandchildren.

 Mothering is the best discipleship opportunity you are ever going to get-

 Most Christians long to make a spiritual impact on the future (Matthew 28:18-19). Parenting gives us the better part of two decades to impart spiritual truth into the hearts of our kids. If we go the extra mile and live what we say we believe we will make a significant spiritual impact on the lives of the kids we raise and they in turn will make a spiritual impact on future generations (Psalms 127:4-5) .

 Mothering has the power to make us better people-

 Mothering reveals in gory detail every single one of our shortcomings and less-than-healthy coping mechanisms. When our weaknesses are exposed we have two options, we can ignore reality or we can become better people. There is nothing quite like having a couple of kids watching to give us the incentive needed to work at becoming better people. (Romans 12:1-2, 2nd Corinthians 3:18)

 Parenting makes us dependent on God for wisdom and direction-

 Seriously. Anyone who has parented a child for more than an hour knows parenting kids is scary. Being scared causes a lot of people to look to God and we are all better people when we look to Him for insight and assistance.

 For decades now women have been force-fed the lie motherhood is a waste of their time, energy, and talents. That lie is spread in blogs, books and articles that promote a survivor approach to parenting. Social media is littered with snarky memes belittling motherhood with little adages like “Mommy needs vodka” and “don’t mind the mess the children are being a**holes”. With those attitudes so deeply rooted in our culture it’s not surprising that many women regret having kids. As Christians it is incumbent on us to take the long view of things and remember that we are not called to live comfortable, stress-free lives today, rather we are called to live our lives for the glory of God and future generations. If you’re a mom reading this you are doing a good thing that will make a difference.

God approves. I promise.

What to Do When You Don’t Know what to do-

Lisa M. Price2 Comments

Be strong and have strength of heart. Do not be afraid or shake with fear because of them. For the Lord your God is the One Who goes with you. He will be faithful to you. He will not leave you alone~ Deuteronomy 31:6-7 NLV

 I do not pretend to know everything there is to know about everything.

 I freely admit that there is more I don’t know than there is that I do know. Moreover, I am well aware that even after more decades on this planet than I like to talk about I probably still don’t know what I don’t know.

 Sigh.

 That said, there are some things I am convinced are true. The first is that God is a good God. He always has our best interests at heart, even when our feelings or circumstances tell us something different. The second is that spiritual truth simply does not change or become untrue because the culture in which we live tells us otherwise. God’s opinions do not “evolve”. If something was true from a spiritual perspective two thousand years ago then it is still true today. Notwithstanding all the reports you have likely heard to the contrary.

 And lastly, I am persuaded that every human being who walks through life on this silly, sin-sick planet has or will experience the frustration and confusion that comes with not knowing what to do or how to respond to a particular situation or problem. Sadly, there are times in this life when education, wisdom or extensive personal experiences still leave us thoroughly ill equipped to handle the junk life throws at us.

 An unpleasant and sometimes overwhelming sense of defeat generally accompanies these times. The muddle is further compounded by the fact that the stuff that vexes us most in life is generally profoundly personal and often deeply painful. This ends up leaving even the best of us feeling bewildered, vulnerable and peeved with God (Psalm 10:1, Psalm 13:1, Psalm 27:9).

 Which leads to doing a whole lot of nothing.

 I am convinced that the nuts and bolts story of how we got to this place in life matters a whole lot less than what we do with the circumstances we are faced with. Don’t get me wrong; there is value in self-examination (2nd Corinthians 13:5) . Self-examination and an honest assessment of our actions and reactions is the only thing that will keep us from repeating the same stupid mistakes over and over again.

 However.

It’s what we do when we don’t know what to do that determines our character and ultimately it’s our character that determines our destiny (please pardon the trite, overused platitude).

 Again, I do not know everything there is to know about this or any other subject. However, I do have more experience than I care to admit with not knowing what to do in a particular situation (don’t ask). So today I want to share a few tips for maneuvering through the morass of what to do when you don’t know what to do.

 First…

 Don’t get stuck in a muddle of misery and self-pity–

 Personal blows such as a job loss, personal rejection, business failure, or a divorce are horrendous, life-altering, episodes that really do warrant a legitimate grieving process. It’s crucial that we allow ourselves be sad or angry when we experience a big hurt or loss, it’s also crucial we don’t get stuck in feelings of sadness or self-pity. At some point we have to heal from the hurt, take risks again and find a new normal (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8).  

 Do something good–

 Anytime we make a big mistake or suffer through a hurtful situation it’s tempting to isolate ourselves and just kind of wait around for circumstances to change and for good things to come our way. Sadly, good things rarely just happen. Good things typically transpire because we are doing good things (Ephesians 2:10, Galatians 6:7). So turn off the phone, laptop and T.V and and go interact with humanity. Volunteer in a soup kitchen, get to know a lonely neighbor, or help out at your church. It may not change your circumstances but it will make you feel better about life (Matthew 6:12).

 Don’t blame God–

 Trust me, it’s not His fault. He is in fact, the one who cares most about you and your situation (Psalm 40:1, 1st Peter 1:3-9). You need Him now more than ever.

 Forgive the jerks that hurt you–

 Lack of forgiveness keeps us trapped in a never-ending cycle of bitterness that makes it almost impossible to see a way out of our current circumstances. The only way to break the cycle is to let go of resentments and forgive (Acts 3:19, Matthew 6:12-15). Forgiveness is beautiful because it frees us up to see the future that God has prepared for us.

 There is one other thing I am staunchly persuaded is true. I am sure God never allows anything, no matter how painful or futile it may feel to us, into our life without a greater purpose (Romans 8: 18, Romans 8:28, Philippians 2:13 ). Sometimes when we don’t know what to do, God just wants us to take a little time get to know Him better. When that task is accomplished, then He will show us what to do.

What Does Authentic Christian Love Look Like?

Lisa M. PriceLeave a comment

 

If we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us~ John 4:12

  Every couple of years I switch out my current Bible translation for a new one.

My absurd fondness for novelty aside, the slight differences in the text forces me to pay attention to what I’m reading. It keeps me thinking, and I have found thinking is always better than the alternative.

Over the years I have made my way through the NIV, NKJV, NASB and The Message.

 With the notable exception of The Message (TOO MANY WORDS) whatever version I am currently reading typically morphs into my new favorite. My current favorite is the English Standard Version. However the ESV it is certainly different than the last version I read (NASB) and the differences have led to some thought-provoking discoveries.

 This last week was a challenging one and I found myself in desperate need of a spiritual kick in the pants. So I headed to Romans chapter twelve, it’s kind of my go-to passage anytime I need little spiritual straight-talk or a firm reminder of what the whole Christian thing is all about (Romans 12:1-21). Over the years I have probably read that particular chapter at least a hundred times, but, for some reason verse nine caught me up short and got me thinking and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it ever since. 

 It simply reads…

 Let love be genuine.

 Because the text tells us our love should be genuine, then logic dictates there is a form of love Christian people sometimes express that is NOT real or genuine. It is somehow fake, phony or counterfeit, and like every decent counterfeit, it looks genuine, at least on the surface. It’s also safe to assume that this verse serves as a warning to Christians to be vigilant about how we love others.

 All this made me want to find out what other people think about the subject of love. So I did what people do these days when they want to know what people think about a subject.

 I posed a question on social media.

 I got sixty-five responses and the responses were divided into two distinct groups. The first group defined love almost entirely in terms of feelings. They talked about how they felt about family and friends. They described the security they felt with certain people, general thoughtfulness and those they care about or people that care about them.

 Others focused more on actions. This group tended to define love in terms of what we do rather than how we feel about other people. Many used words like commitment, thoughtfulness, selflessness, and compassion. Some spoke of courage, personal sacrifice, providing for the physical and emotional needs of others and grace.

 All good stuff. But not exactly what I was looking for.

 The answers I was looking for didn’t come from the internet (surprise!) but they did come. It kind of hit me out of nowhere (thank you Holy Spirit!) that genuine Christian love is unique because it is about more than just warmhearted sentimentality, or even a firm commitment to sticking with another human being through thick and thin.

Authentic Christian love is distinct and categorically different from any other kind of love. Christian love goes beyond providing for daily needs or showing grace to a struggling soul. Love is about more than simply being kind, although kindness, care for others, commitment and grace are at the very core of authentic love. There is no love without those things. Nonetheless, Christian love is much deeper and more complex than all of that. Authentic Christian love is about more than making people feel good about themselves or the choices they’ve made in life.

 Genuine Christian love is chiefly concerned with the eternal destiny of other people (John 3:16, Mark 8:35, Romans 1:16-17, Romans 13:10).

 All Christians should be kind, generous, courageous, compassionate and gracious people . Christians should do everything possible to help meet the physical and emotional needs of others (1st Corinthians 13:1-13, James 2:14-17). Christians should always consider the feelings of others before they speak or act (James 1:19-20).

Those are all givens.

However any expression of Christian love that does not attempt to change the eternal destiny of the other person by telling the truth about heaven, hell and the sin problem of mankind is not really love at all.

 It’s a fake, a fraud, a phony, a counterfeit.

This fact ought to cause us all to evaluate how we choose to love others. Is our love primarily focused simply on kindness? Not hurting people’s feelings? Providing physical needs? All of these things are good things.  

However.

They fall tragically short of fulfilling the law of Christian love (James 2:8).  

 

How Should Christians Respond to Weird, Ugly or Hurtful Words?

Lisa M. PriceLeave a comment

I too will have my say; I too will tell what I know. For I am full of words, and the spirit within me compels me; inside I am like bottled-up wine, like new wineskins ready to burst~ Job 32:17-19 NIV

 My father-in-law died seventeen years ago without warning from a massive stroke. He was a good man, relatively  young and healthy. His death was an enormous shock. Immediately following the funeral one of his work colleagues “comforted” my husband by telling him he could “relate to his grief” because his dog had died the week before.

 I know a man in his sixties who still remembers with tears in his eyes the sting of having his first-grade teacher tell him he was struggling to learn to read because he was “dumb.”

 I have a who friend suffered through the heartache of infertility and several miscarriages before giving birth to two healthy children. After each miscarriage at least one person told her she should be grateful she miscarried because “there was probably something wrong with it anyway”.

 If had a dollar for every time some nitwit encouraged me in an overly calm tone to “just relax” when freaking out was clearly the reasonable option, I would be writing from a lawn chair on a sunny beach right now.  

 Words.

 Anyone who has lived longer than a decade in this world has undoubtedly been the casualty of stupid, hurtful or just plain thoughtless words. The most painful kind of hurtful words are words that attack things about ourselves that we cannot change, such as our looks or intellectual abilities. Insensitive words wound by getting inside our heads and altering how we see ourselves and view the world.

 God has a lot to say on the subject of words. The writer of Proverbs cautions his readers:“The tongue has the power of life and death.” 1st Corinthians thirteen teaches one significant aspect of loving others well is avoiding the use of rude or boastful words (1st Corinthians 13:4-5). In Matthew 12:36 Jesus warns of looming judgment for those who habitually speak without carefully considering the impact their words might have on others.

Yikes.     

 Decent, mature people universally agree words should never be spoken impulsively nor should they be unnecessarily rude (Proverbs 16:21). Nor should anyone speak without quickly considering how they would feel if someone said the same thing to them in the same situation (James 1:19).

 All that being said, how we respond to the stupid stuff people say to us, is from a spiritual perspective, every bit as important as being careful about what we say to others. Responding with grace to hurtful words begins with the sometimes-difficult admission that we too have hurt others with our words just as we have been hurt by the thoughtless words of other people. I once informed a boy who declared his affection for me in a love note that I would never return his feelings because he “smelled weird” (proof-positive mean things are also sometimes true). I still squirm when I think about some of the hurtful “guidance” I hastily doled out to others when I was beyond old enough to know better.

 There is an inclination in our day and age for people, even Christian people, to take hurtful words to heart and nurture their hurt by ruminating on hurtful words rather than choosing to forgive and move on (Proverbs 19:11). Nurturing hurt does nothing but create a breeding ground for bitterness and inevitably leads us to use our wounds as a justification to:

  1. Shut the offender out of our lives completely.
  2. Gossip about their lack of empathy to any who will listen.
  3. Freak out, say whatever is on OUR minds and then demand an apology that the offender probably won’t mean even if they do say it.

 All of the above reactions feel great but are categorically wrong and spiritually dangerous (Proverbs 10:19, James 4:11, Proverbs 16:28, Proverbs 17:9, Proverbs 27:10). Each reaction feeds our sin nature, shuts down communication and effectively ends the relationship. Offense and unresolved hurt over careless words are the devil’s preferred playground (1st Peter 5:8) .

Offense keeps us self-focused, bitter and unable to see ourselves or others clearly (Proverbs 18:19, Hebrews 12:15, James 3:14).

 Letting go of hurt is not an easy thing to do and it is rarely a one and done. We have to discipline our minds to take the hurt we feel to God and ask Him to empower us to let go of hurt, rather than nurturing it and hanging on to it. We must be willing to pray that people who say foolish, mean or hurtful things, will become more self-aware and we must choose forgiveness every time.