Tag: Love

The Best way to Pray for a Narcissistic Jerk-

Lisa M. PriceLeave a comment

When he became strong, his heart was so proud that he acted corruptly, and he was untrue to the Lord his God, for he entered the temple of the Lord to burn incense on the altar of incense- 2nd Chronicles 26:15 NASB

Every once in a while, a concept comes along and takes popular culture by storm. The concept (whatever it may be) quickly becomes the thing everyone talks about. Inevitably, many individuals begin to believe they possess expert-level knowledge of the subject. One such concept is narcissism. An individual cannot scroll a social media feed, listen to a podcast, read a self-help book, turn on a television or read a newspaper without coming across an article or program referencing narcissists or narcissism.  

For the record: narcissists are real. 

Narcissists have an unhealthy preoccupation with themselves and a grandiose sense of their own significance. Narcissistic people believe deep down in their inmost being they are better and more important than pretty much everyone else. As a result, they see others as insignificant in comparison to themselves. As a result, narcissists treat people very badly unless they want something from the other person. The most dangerous narcissists are proficient, unrepentant, shameless liars. A narcissist will gleefully distort truth, gaslight and fabricate stories out of whole cloth to make others look bad and paint themselves in a positive light (Psalm 40:4). 

Popular culture typically presents narcissism as an unpardonable sin. Many believe narcissists are so heartless, wicked, malevolent and lacking in self-awareness they are for all intents and purposes, irredeemable. Even many Christians present narcissists as so lost they can never be found. This is simply untrue, no one is beyond God’s reach or so far gone they cannot be saved (John 3:16, 2nd Timothy 2:3-5), not even a narcissist. 

The Bible talks about narcissism at length and warns against it in the strongest possible terms. However, the Bible never uses the word narcissist or narcissism. From a biblical perspective narcissists are just people with a pride problem. A very serious pride problem but a pride problem, nonetheless.  God despises pride because it causes people to become so braggy and self-willed they forget God or write Him off as unimportant and irrelevant (Deuteronomy 8:14, 2nd Chronicles 26:16, Proverbs 16:5). People who sideline God inevitably become manipulative, mean, self-focused and sometimes even violent (Psalm 17:9-11, Psalm 56:2, Psalm 140:5). 

Narcissism is a growing problem (2nd Timothy 3:1-5). 

The further our world drifts away from God the more people become bloated with the sin of pride. Because this is where we are living right now most of us know a narcissist and many love a narcissist (or two). If we want to see narcissists come to know Jesus and be transformed into the image of Jesus it is critical we love them well and pray the following four prayers for them: 

Pray you will love them how they need to be loved-

Loving a prideful, narcissistic jerk is no easy task (Luke 6:32-33, 1st Peter 4:8, Luke 17:3-4). All people need to be loved. Narcissists need to know they have people who love them and will be there for them. However, prideful people also need firm boundaries. Narcissists need people who will love them enough to call them out on their hurtful shenanigans. Narcissists do NOT need people who will make excuses for their behavior or minimize their sin. It is not loving, kind or Christian to excuse away sin, manage others sin or make it easy for people to sin. This is especially true with narcissists. God is the only one who can give someone the strength, wisdom and discernment to love a narcissist well. If you love a narcissist pray daily for the wisdom, discernment and moral strength to love like God loves. God’s love is the personification 1st Corinthians 13:1-7. God’s love always believes the best is possible in a person’s life, but it never devolves into people-pleasing (codependency) or cheap grace (Titus 2:11-12).

Pray they will see themselves as they really are-

All narcissists have a distorted view of themselves. They tend to see themselves as unflawed and the hero of their own story. It is our job to pray that they will begin to see themselves as they really are, warts and all. Seeing our own sin as sin is the first baby step towards salvation. It is also the only thing that makes true personal growth possible. Pray for a spirit of revelation and wisdom to invade the life of the narcissist you love (Ephesians 1:17). If necessary, pray God will bring enough pain into their lives to make them open to the truth about themselves (James 1:2-3). 

Pray they see God as He really is-

One key to a healthy (not overly grandiose) sense of self is to have a clear-eyed understanding of who God is and what He’s all about. God is eternal, perfect, all-powerful, all-knowing and completely free of sin and immorality (Matthew 5:48, Deuteronomy 32:4, Psalm 19:7). He is also the standard of what is good and bad. When we compare ourselves to other people it is easy to believe we are better than we really are (Ecclesiastes 7:20). When we understand God’s perfection, we automatically have a much clearer grasp of our own sin and moral frailty. 

And finally,

Pray your narcissist will experience godly conviction concerning their pride- 

Godly conviction is a gift (2nd Corinthians 7:10). Godly conviction is simply the voice of the Holy Spirit telling us the truth about ourselves (Romans 3:23, 1st John 1:9-10). If it is responded to properly, godly conviction has the power to make the vilest, most prideful sinner as white as snow and a beautiful trophy of God’s grace and mercy (Isaiah 1:18, 2nd Corinthians 7:11, 2nd Corinthians 5:17). Without godly conviction we would all be lost. 

God’s Prescription for Dealing with Toxic People-

Lisa M. PriceLeave a comment

Put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator. Colossians 3:10b ESV

Toxicity has become the latest buzzword in pop culture lingo. One cannot scroll social media, read a magazine or peruse a news site without finding at least one article, reel or post disparaging toxic people and lamenting the impact they have on others.  Most content focuses on traits associated with either “narcissism” or “codependency”.  Narcissism is characterized by a grandiose sense of self-importance, lack of empathy, a need for excessive appreciation, and the belief that one is unique and worthy of special treatment. Codependency on the other hand is characterized by extreme neediness and a desire to control and manipulate others into doing what the codependent person feels is best. Codependent people feel most significant when they are needed. As a result, they will go to great lengths to become the most essential and indispensable person in every given relationship. 

These folks wreck a lot of havoc.

Therefore, nearly all the content recommends kicking toxic people to the curb and purging one’s life of their noxious existence forever. A whole industry has built up around this issue. There are therapists who specialize in helping folks to separate from narcissistic, annoying, overly needy and controlling people. The internet is flooded with influencers who center ALL their content around identifying and avoiding toxic people. There are entire books written about removing of toxic people from one’s life. This has become a movement. 

This movement is not Christian (sorry). It is not okay for Christians to adopt an attitude of unforgiveness towards anyone (Matthew 6:15, Matthew 18:35, Ephesians 1:7, Colossians 3:12-14), James 3:12-17), no matter how aggravating they happen to be (Matthew 18:20-22). I understand reality. There are truly abusive and/or evil people in this world. God does not call us to be friends with those who have abused us or done us wrong in a really big way. I am not suggesting Christians stop saying no, allow themselves to be truly abused, forgo healthy limits or become doormats. God calls His people to use common sense and discernment (1st Kings 3:9, Proverbs 10:13).  

That being said.

Like it or not, God calls His people to be kind, tender-hearted and forgiving towards all people, even really annoying and/or stupid people (Ephesians 4:23, Luke 6:27, 2nd Timothy 2:23-26, 1st Peter 3:9). There are no provisions in Jesus’ commands on forgiveness and love that grant anyone permission to exclude jerks, narcissists or needy people who thrive on control from the commands to love others and forgive from the heart (Matthew 5:46, John 13:34-35, Romans 12:10, Romans 13:8). Sometimes I wish there was, but there’s not. I’ve done the research. 

We must understand that no one is without sin (Romans 3:23, 1st John 1:9-10) Everyone on earth (you and I included) have some (or many) toxic personality traits (Matthew 15:19, Jeremiah 17:9, Proverbs 6:16-19, Romans 1:18-29). We are all defensive, lustful, pretentious, vindictive, judgmental, rude, lazy, deceitful, competitive, lacking in self-awareness, argumentative, selfish, prideful, arrogant, passive-aggressive, domineering, manipulative and/or needy at least some of the time. It’s called being human. 

 God does not want us to run away from people who have toxic personality traits. God wants us to learn to love those who are totally unlovable and toxic (Matthew 5:44, Romans 12:20, 1st Peter 3:9, Proverbs 24:17, Proverbs 25:21). It is critical we learn to love difficult people because we too are unlovable (at least sometimes), and we reap what we sow. In His infinite wisdom God has set the world up in such a way that we always receive more than we give. (Hosea 8:7, Hosea 10:12, Matthew 25:14-30, Galatians 6:7-8). I don’t know why, but I do know it’s true. If we make a regular practice of forgiving others, loving well and giving grace we will be loved, forgiven and given grace we don’t deserve. However, if we make a practice of holding grudges, judging others, withholding forgiveness or cutting people out, we will at some point find ourselves receiving the same treatment.    

No one wants that. 

Dealing with toxicity comes down to three things. We must learn to:

Apply grace-

Some synonymous for grace are mercy, kindness and compassion. God gives human beings boundless grace (Romans 3:23-25, Ephesians 2:8-9). God is always merciful, kind and compassionate towards our failings. Our primary job in this world post-salvation is to take on as many characteristics of God as possible (Romans 8:29, 1stCorinthians 3:18, Ephesians 2:10, Colossians 3:3). Becoming gracious towards the failings of others is probably the best place to start in our journey to become more like Jesus. I believe anytime a Christian refuses to give grace to others they are turning away from the Christian gospel and embracing a worldly (non-Christian) belief system (Galatians 1:6-7). 

Pray like crazy-

Prayer is critical when dealing with difficult people because there are some things humans simply cannot do without God’s help (Mark 9:14-29). No one can love a difficult or sinful person without God’s power working in them. No one can forgive certain offenses without the aid of the Holy Spirit. Prayer is where we get the power to do the impossible (James 1:5, John 15:7).  

And finally, we need to:

Seek wisdom-

None of this is simple or easy. Situations are often complex. There are few (if any) one-size-fits-all solutions for dealing with difficult people. This where wisdom comes in: sometimes God is calling us to say “yes” even when we don’t feel like it. Other times “no” is the wiser and more godly option. Sometimes we need to love more demonstrably, other times limits need to be set and adhered to.  No one will get any of this right without godly wisdom. We get wisdom by searching the Bible for it, seeking godly (not worldly) counsel and asking God to give us wisdom in abundance (Luke 21:14-15, Colossians 1:9, James 1:5). God never says “no” to that request. 

Five Steps to Letting go of Bitterness-

Lisa M. PriceLeave a comment

 For I see that you are poisoned by bitterness and bound by iniquity- Acts 8:23 NKJV 

Everyone (no matter how spiritual) is tempted to hold onto feelings of bitterness at some point in their lives. This is because bitterness rarely occurs in a vacuum. Too often life is wildly disappointing. Moreover, people can be disappointing. People sometimes hurt us in ugly and shocking ways that make resentment, anger and unforgiveness make sense in our minds. Disappointment and bitterness go hand-in-hand. Further complicating the whole messy muddle, entertaining feelings of bitterness feels kind of awesome, at least for a while. The writer of Hebrews 12:14 warns bitter feelings allowed to run wild will eventually grow into a “root of bitterness”. It says:

See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many become defiled- NASB

The writer of Hebrews is obviously warning their readers that bitterness is (for want of another term) super bad. The writer also wants readers to understand bitterness is grotesquely consequential. No one in their right mind wants to miss out on the grace (mercy, kindness, generosity) of God. Nor do normal, spiritually healthy people want to defile (corrupt, ruin, pervert) others with the corruption of their own heart.  

The kind of bitterness the writer of Hebrews is warning their readers about is more than just temporary anger or fleeting resentment. A bitter root is anger and resentment that takes up habitation in a person’s heart and becomes a focus of their thinking. A bitter root is offense that has mutated into deep-seated unforgiveness (Ephesians 4:26). Bitterness is initially directed at the person or people who caused the pain. However, if bitterness is allowed to settle it becomes directed towards those who had nothing to do with the hurt. When we allow bitterness to become a stronghold, we can even become bitter towards God.  

Yikes.

Bitterness is choosing anger and resentment over forgiveness and mercy (Matthew 18:21-23, Matthew 6:12-15).  This choice stalls our spiritual growth and steals our personal peace. Bitterness can even steal the joy of our salvation. All that to say, a bitter root is bad. Really, really bad.  So, what do we do about bitterness? How do we deal with it effectively? There are five steps to effectively dealing with bitterness:

Recognize it-

Satan is able to tempt people to become bitter because many people (including many Christians) lack a healthy level of self-awareness (1st Peter 5:8). It is critical we know our own feelings and understand the state of our own heart. Self-awareness allows us to see when feelings of bitterness are creeping in and defiling us. We obtain self-awareness by making a practice of naming our feelings and tracing those feelings back to the incident that is making us feel bad/angry/hurt/bitter. Once we know what is at the root of our bitterness we can do something about it. 

Pray for the person who made you bitter- 

Praying for those who hurt us is critical and not because fervent prayer is guaranteed to change the person who hurt us into a better person. It might and it might not. People must cooperate with God to experience transformation (Romans 12:2, 1st Corinthians 5:12).  The world is full of people who reject and/or disobey God, these folks are incapable of genuine heart-change. That being said, anytime we choose to pray God changes us. Prayer changes us into people who forgive the people who have done us wrong.  This allows us to move on in a way that is healthy for us and honoring to God.  

Trust God with what He’s allowed. 

I almost said we need to forgive God for the things He allows into our lives but that’s REALLY TERRIBLE THEOLOGY. People don’t forgive God because God does not sin (Deuteronomy 32:4, Psalm 145:17, James 1:13, Titus 1:2). God is perfect in all His ways (whether we understand them or not), therefore, God has not done anything that demands our forgiveness (Psalm 19:7, Matthew 5:48). Nonetheless, we need to get to a place where we are okay with whatever God has allowed into our lives. That means we need to trust that God would never allow anything into our lives that won’t somehow be used for our good and His glory (Romans 8:28-39). This is no easy task. It takes faith and willingness to trust God with things we may never completely understand this side of heaven (Hebrews 11:1-39).

Release the person to God- 

The essence of forgiveness is to surrender our right to seek revenge (Romans 12:19). The only way to effectively surrender that right is to give the person who hurt us over to God and trust Him to deal with the situation appropriately. This is never easy and it’s it’s rarely a one and done. Typically, we have to give people over to God repeatedly before our hearts change and we no longer feel bitter. 

And finally: 

We must choose to forgive-

Forgiveness is moving on and letting go of the hurt. It’s choosing to not look back on the offense all the time. To do this, we must grasp the reality that God has more for us than bitterness, unforgiveness and resentment. However, we can only receive the fullness of what God has for us if we choose to forgive (Matthew 6:14-15). A wise and perceptive person once said choosing bitterness is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies. That strategy has never worked for anyone in the whole history of forever. Choosing to be bitter has no impact on the other person. Nonetheless, bitterness destroys us emotionally and spiritually. In the process, we lose our joy, stop growing and become spiritually ineffective. No one wants that. 

How does Jesus Expect us to Work out Ephesians 4:32 in our Daily Lives?

Lisa M. Price5 Comments

Put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so must you do also- Colossians 3:12b-13 NASB

Earlier this week as I was scrolling my social media feed I came across a post on boundaries. I know about boundaries. I read the book on boundaries.  I have even taught a couple of classes on boundaries.  I routinely advise folks I work with in ministry settings to set boundaries. I’m not unaware of what boundaries are, nor am I against setting them. Please don’t send me an email explaining boundaries to me. It will just make me feel misunderstood. 

That out of the way, I do feel compelled to share the experience I had with the Holy Spirit this week. I will warn readers ahead of time, this post might be challenging (offensive) to some. 

Okay, so.

I was reading through the post on boundaries and not really thinking too deeply about what I was reading. I certainly wasn’t bothered or offended by what I read. The author did not say anything I hadn’t heard before. Then (out of nowhere) a verse popped into my head. It was word-for-word perfect in the ESV translation:

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you- Ephesians 4:32

 I have been a Christian for a long time.  I know enough about how the Holy Spirit works to know that when a random verse pops into my head as I’m mindlessly reading an article it means something. At the very least, it means I’m supposed to go a little (lot) deeper and figure what God is trying to say (Hebrews 12:25). 

So, I dug deeper.

The word the Holy Spirit impressed on my heart was tenderhearted. So, I whipped out my handy-dandy Greek dictionary and looked it up. The Greek word for “tenderhearted” means to take pity on someone or to show mercy. Then I looked up “kind” in Greek. It means to be gentle, gracious and good natured toward others. At that point, I decided I might as well look up “forgiving” as well. It means not to exact punishment.  I concluded that Ephesians 4:32 could be translated:

Be good natured and gracious toward others. Take pity on people who don’t know better or don’t do better even when they know better.  Do not exact punishment on people because they annoy or hurt you.

I will not lie. I experienced some conviction. 

It occurred to me that people, even church people (me included) talk a lot about empathy, kindness, mercy and compassion. Nonetheless, it’s fair to say we have lost our way when it comes to living out the biblical commands to be kind, tenderhearted and forgiving in our day-to-day lives (Luke 6:35, Romans 13:8, Colossians 3:12). Truth-be-told, many believers (me included sometimes) are taking their cues about how to treat people from the world rather than Jesus. The social media post I mentioned earlier serves as a relevant example. The writer (who I do not know) is a professing Christian who basically made a case for boundaries being the ultimate conflict resolution tool. They suggest that if anyone hurts you or even just annoys you, the best solution is to go “no” or “low contact”.  Conflict solved. The poster openly defined boundaries as cutting difficult people out of one’s life (1stJohn 4:1). 

What? 

Here’s the thing: cutting a person out of one’s life is not setting a boundary (John 13:35, John 15:12, 1stCorinthians 13).  God does not call His people to build thick walls to keep annoying people out of their lives (Romans 12:10). Anyone who believes ending a relationship without a really compelling reason (like genuine abuse) is God’s will or a good example of a biblical boundary is just plain wrong. Boundaries are meant to be like fences with gates that swing open on both sides, not walls that block contact with the outside world. God wants us to figure out ways to maintain and heal relationships not obliterate them (Romans 12:16, 2nd Timothy 2:23-25). Boundaries ARE about setting limits concerning what you will or will not do. Boundaries are not meant to punish people for past sins (Romans 2:1).  Unless a person is currently doing something truly egregious and stubbornly unrepentant (being annoying, rude or stupid is not egregious) Christians don’t cut people out of their lives.   Furthermore, cutting contact or even limiting contact with someone is not conflict resolution. Ending the relationship will halt the conflict, but it will never resolve anything. 

Moreover, what if Jesus started treating us the way we treat annoying people? We would be in all kinds of trouble. Every single one of us is annoying in some truly profound way. We are slow to learn, slow to obey and super stupid sometimes, especially if perfection is our standard.  We need Jesus to take pity on us daily and not punish us for our sin and stupidity. 

God commands His people to be a light to the world (Matthew 5:14-16). One way to do that is to take pity on others for their lack of consideration, wisdom and social grace. No where in Scripture are we told to view frustrating, rude or even mean people as impediments to our peace or as problems to be eliminated. Oftentimes God uses those very people (warts and all) to grow us and mature us into the image of Jesus.  We must never forget that God the commands to love others in spite of their deficiencies and irritating behaviors (John 15:12, Romans 12:10, Romans 13:8, 2nd Corinthians 13:11, Ephesians 4:2). 

Just like He does with us. 

The Things (and People) that Cause Bitterness-

Lisa M. PriceLeave a comment


A foolish son brings grief to his father and bitterness to the mother who bore him- Proverbs 17:25 NASB 

In my last post I wrote about bitterness and the trouble it causes. Choosing to entertain a bitter spirit is the fast track to a life of misery, distance from God, loss of spiritual purpose and broken relationships.  

Bitterness is bad.  

Really bad. 

This is why God straight-up commands Christians to avoid bitterness at all costs (Hebrews 12:15, Ephesians 4:30-31). 

As I reflected on the turmoil bitterness inevitably produces, I found myself making a mental list of the multitude of things that cause folks to become bitter. It occurred to me (kind of out of nowhere) that I have written a lot on what bitterness does, but precious little about what causes bitterness. Then it occurred to me (kind of out of nowhere) that if someone understood the causes of bitterness it could go a long way in preventing bitterness in the lives of a lot of people. 

I would call that a major spiritual win and there is nothing I love more than a major spiritual win.

Contrary to popular belief, the things that make people bitter do not always fly out of nowhere and smack us around. Sometimes they do (more on that later). However, there are also situations where bitterness is caused by our own choices and/or events that might have been avoided with a bit of foresight and a smidge of wisdom. The four things most likely to make a person bitter are:

Sin- 

Sin makes folks bitter. It just does. It does not matter if we are the ones sinning or we are the ones being sinned against. It doesn’t even matter if it the whole messy muddle was a mutual agreement to sin. Sin is the number one cause of human bitterness (Ecclesiastes 7:26). Sometimes, we are sinned against and there is little we can do to prevent feelings of bitterness. When this happens, we must ask God for the strength and power to forgive so fully that our bitterness dissolves. Forgiveness is hard, but it’s also essential because it is the only way to get free from the bondage of bitterness (Ephesians 4:31-32, Matthew 6:15). That being said, anytime we knowingly place ourselves in a sinful situation, we run a high risk of making ourselves bitter.  Bitterness is just the natural consequence of sin.  All sin has the potential to produce bitterness. However, the sins most likely to create bitterness are sexual in nature. This is because these sins have far-reaching, sometimes even generational consequences (Ecclesiastes 7:26, Proverbs 5:3-5, Isaiah 5:20). The best way to avoid bitterness is to make a commitment to stay away from all forms of sexual immorality, including adultery, homosexuality, promiscuity and pornography. Nothing good will come from any of it. 

Totally foreseeable circumstances- 

 The best-known biblical admonition against bitterness begins with a “see to it” (Hebrews 12:15).  Anytime the New Testament begins some bit of instruction with a “see to it”, we are being told we have at least some agency in the situation (Luke 21:8, Colossians 2:8, Hebrews 12:25). Hebrews 12:15 is teaching that at least to some degree, some of the time, bitterness is avoidable. One critical aspect of preventing a bitter root is to avoid situations where we can look into the future and see there is a decent chance that we will become bitter towards the person or people involved if we don’t put an end to their antics quickly.  An example of this might be a woman offers to babysit her best friend’s child on Tuesday morning so her friend can run errands and get some “me time”.  In turn, the friend just assumes it’s okay to bring the child by EVERY Tuesday morning so she can run errands and get some “me time”. The woman who is taking advantage of the situation is obviously a source of bitterness. However, the kind-hearted woman who offered to babysit has an obligation to end the madness so that she does not become bitter towards her friend. Modern people call this “putting up boundaries”. It’s also bitterness prevention 101. 

Lack of wisdom and foresight- 

Wisdom is an undervalued commodity. Few people care about acquiring wisdom,  although everyone ought to. Wisdom is a protective force (Ecclesiastes 7:12, Proverbs 2:11-12, Proverbs 3:13-18). Wisdom provides safety, protection and it increases our odds of success in every arena. Wisdom also prevents bitterness. When a person is wise, they have foresight or prudence (Proverbs 1:3-5, Proverbs 8:12). Foresight gives people the ability to see around the corners of life (metaphorically speaking). This allows them to predict which situations or people will cause us them to become bitter. Anyone can get wisdom, all we have to do is ask for it (Proverbs 4:7, Proverbs 19:8, James 1:5-6).

And finally:

Evil people cause bitterness- 

Ultimately, evil people are also selfish people. Selfish people simply do not care about the hurt or turmoil they create. Consequently, evil people spread bitterness everywhere they go. Sadly, we live in a fallen world (Genesis 3, Romans 5:12), therefore avoiding evil people is not always a viable option (Matthew 18:7). However, we can choose to put evil people in the hands of God and trust Him to deal with them in His own way and time (Proverbs 3:5-6, 1st Peter 2:6). Choosing to trust God and believing in His goodness is the number one way to prevent bitterness.

Six Prayers Every Prodigal Desperately Needs Someone to Pray for Them-

Lisa M. Price1 Comment

This is what the Lord says: “Restrain your voice from weeping and your eyes from tears; For your work will be rewarded,” declares the Lord, “And they will return from the land of the enemy.  There is hope for your future,” declares the Lord, “And your children will return to their own territory- Jeremiah 31:16-17 NASB

Prodigal. 

In the Greek it means “wasteful”, “extravagant” or “reckless”. 

A prodigal is anyone who knows about God who has chosen to live their life apart from God. Spiritually speaking this type of living is extravagantly “reckless” and “wasteful”. Christians most commonly use the word prodigal to describe a child who grew up in a Christian home and has chosen to walk away from what they were taught (Luke 15:11-32). 

There are a lot of prodigals in this world (2nd Timothy 3:1-5). 

Some have chosen to ignore God and live their lives as if He doesn’t exist, others openly rebel against Him (Psalm 14:1). Sadly, a good number of prodigals have walked away from their families as well.  The reasons for the spiritual defection are varied. Some had negative experiences with church as children or young adults that soured them on Christianity. Some prodigals simply love sin more than they love God. Some had questions or concerns about Christianity that never got answered. Still others have been ensnared by a toxic therapy culture which encourages people to ditch anyone or anything (including God or the families that raised them) that does not make them feel great about every choice they make. 

To the people who love them a prodigal is a walking heartbreak. 

The most valuable thing anyone can do for a prodigal (child, sibling, friend or parent) is to pray for them. No one has ever been talked out of a life of sin, self-interest, or debauchery. Nonetheless many people have been prayed out of such things and into the kingdom of God (Romans 8:26, 1st Corinthians 6:9-11).  Sometimes family members find themselves at loss as to HOW to pray for their prodigal. The spiritual condition of a prodigal is precarious. They have willfully denied truth.  This choice will lead nowhere good without an intervention from the Holy Spirit. Therefore, hard prayers are very much in order. Following are five prayers every prodigal needs someone to pray for them daily. 

Pray they will weary of worldliness and sin-

When we choose not to follow God we always choose worldliness or sin of some sort. The thing about sin and worldliness is that they will never satisfy the soul, bring peace or deliver what they promised. Truth-be-told, worldliness and sin do the exact opposite, sin always leaves the sinner in turmoil and wanting more. Pray your prodigal will experience in their soul the emptiness of sin and weary of the life they have chosen. 

Pray their pride will be broken-

Anyone who looks around at the way this world was created and chooses to conclude there is no God is irrational and arrogant (Romans 1:18-20, Psalm 14:1).  Those who believe there is a God but also believe they do not need God or are above bowing their knee to God is bloated with pride (Proverbs 16:18). One or the other of these scenarios is a reality with all prodigals. Those who love a prodigal must pray that God will do what needs to be done to get their prodigal to a place where they set aside their pride and submit their life to the leadership of the God who made them (Luke 15:14-20).  

Pray they will be surrounded by people who know and love God-

Because of pride and/or shame few prodigals seek out their family members for advice or spiritual wisdom even when they want or need it. Therefore, it is critical every prodigal has at least one person in their life who loves Jesus. We must pray that God will surround our loved one with spirit-led Christians who will love them with the love of Jesus and speak truth to them. 

Pray deception will be lifted so they can see the truth- 

The goal of Satan is to blind people to the truth of God so that they will reject God (2nd Thessalonians 2:9-10, 1stPeter 5:8). Satan uses lies and deception to keep prodigals from seeing where their choices will eventually lead them. It is critical we pray that the any deception the enemy is using to divert or deceive our loved one will be lifted so that are capable of seeing spiritual and moral truth. 

Pray they will see the underbelly of whatever lifestyle they have chosen over God- 

Many prodigals leave what they have been taught about God to embrace a lifestyle that is contrary to biblical teaching. Those lifestyles are often centered around sexual immorality of one sort or another (promiscuity, adultery, homosexuality, transgenderism). All these lifestyles feel good (at least in the beginning) but they all have an ugly underbelly, a dark side that people need to see so they will want to break free of spiritual bondage that accompanies those choices.  Pray your loved one will have the eyes to see what’s wrong and icky with the life they have chosen.

And finally, 

Pray they will come to understand how deeply God loves them. I am convinced prodigals never really knew God or understood how much He loves them. If they did, they would never have walked away. Pray your prodigal will come to understand the depth of the love God has for them (Zephaniah 3:17, John 3:16, Romans 8:37-39, Ephesians 2:4-5) Knowledge and gut-level understanding of God’s love is total gamechanger in the life of a prodigal. 

Every. Single. Time. 

What is our Political Landscape Telling us?

Lisa M. PriceLeave a comment

Therefore, with minds that are alert and fully sober, set your hope on the grace to be brought to you when Jesus Christ is revealed at his coming– 1st Peter 1:13 NIV

Okay, so a couple of things:

First, our country is a dumpster fire. 

Seriously. It just is.

Second, I’m pretty dang conservative in my political views. I am not conservative because I believe baby Jesus was born with a copy of the constitution in His teeny-tiny hand.  Nor, am I conservative because I believe a person must think a certain way politically in order to become a Christian. I am a conservative because I believe Jesus would be on the side of individual responsibility and personal accountability. Mostly, because responsibility and accountability lead to healthy outcomes and happy people. I also think Jesus would be on the side of life (because He created it) and I’m pretty sure He would be all-in when it comes to limiting the gender spectrum to male and female because it is the design he chose for this world (Genesis 1:27, Genesis 2:23-25)  

For most conservatives the last election was a full-scale bummer. It was not what we wanted, or prayed for. I know it could have been way worse. That said, it was still, objectively speaking, extremely discouraging. Who would have thought soaring inflation, layoffs, war, cultural chaos and four-dollar a gallon gas would NOT be punished at the ballot box? But it was not. 

Here’s the thing:

 Christians are commanded to make disciples (Matthew 28:18-20). One aspect of that command is a call to transform whatever culture we happen to be living in into a better, healthier, more Christ-like version of itself. Because that’s the call, we probably ought to spend some time thinking about this election and what it says about the current state of affairs in this country. We also need to figure out God wants us do about that state of affairs.

So here goes:

It is becoming increasingly more clear that we are living in a post-Christian society. The values Christians have traditionally held dear are no longer a part of the greater cultural narrative.   One illustration of this reality is abortion. Fox News conducted a massive exit poll after the 2022 midterm election. Their goal was to discover what issues motivated voters that election cycle. The number one answer was the economy (not a shocker). However, abortion was a very close second.

It was pro-abortion voters who swung the election.   

 This means at least half of our society cares more about keeping abortion legal than they do about their own economic well-being, safety and future prosperity (Leviticus 18:21, Jeremiah 32:35). At least half the people in this country feel killing the unborn is more important than having a healthy bank account or safety in their streets.

Yikes. Let that sink in.

It’s not good.

Every lefty politician who won in the last election campaigned entirely on keeping abortion as available and unrestricted as possible. Love of abortion is not the only sign our civilization is in trouble. Violent crime against complete strangers is way up. Euthanasia is rapidly becoming a new normal and the possible benefits of infanticide are very much up for discussion. It will undoubtedly be offered as an option for new parents at local hospitals in the very near future.  

Our society is literally hurtling backwards in time towards pre-Christian, heathenish ethics. Most folks are motivated by their individual impulses rather than a desire to build a better future for their children and grandchildren. Our obsession with freedom could actually lead to our own extinction. Literally. A large portion of our population is doing everything possible to keep from reproducing in the name of personal freedom. It could be our downfall.  Human beings are becoming more and more savage as our society has begun to value personal freedom over personal responsibility. Our infatuation with freedom will inevitably lead to less actual autonomy. Governments will be forced to step in and control people if they cannot or will not control themselves (Romans 13:4). 

Sigh. 

All that being said. The current chaos could turn out to be a good thing. The culture will likely get worse. Sometimes bad is good. Hard times cause people to think. Whereas prosperity tends to lead to greater acceptance of whatever the cultural norms are and God knows we don’t need any more acceptance of the current cultural norms.  

So, what is a Christian to do? 

First. 

As strangers living in a strange land (and that’s what Christians are) we must do our level best to live within God’s design for the human race (Genesis 1:27, Hebrews 11:13-16, 1st Peter 1:1-2). Christians should get married, have a bunch of kids, work out their problems and stay married. They should also buy houses, build healthy community and strive to be the kindest, most generous people in their cities and towns (Jeremiah 29:4-8). Living joyfully, well and within the boundaries of God’s design is the first step in “making disciples” in our messy, godless, death obsessed culture.

Then. 

We must be prepared to explain to our friends and neighbors the reasons why we do what we do (1st Peter 3:15). We need to pray like crazy for wisdom and power and boldness. Then we need to open our mouths and tell anyone who will listen about Jesus and the hope He brings to even the most messy and shattered lives. We need to give the world the hope we have received and trust our merciful and good God to bring about the change we need.

How Should Christians deal with the very real Issue of Racism?

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So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets- Matthew 7:12 ESV

I grew up a bubble. 

My family was poor and we lived in small towns in Alaska, Oregon and a short stint in Utah. There were very few minorities in the towns I grew-up in.  However, if the town we were living in happened to have a minority population there was a pretty decent chance they lived in the same neighborhood we lived in. I don’t recall much, if any real racial tension in those neighborhoods. Poverty tends to create a bond between kids regardless of race. 

My parents invited all kinds of different people into our home and nothing was ever really made of it. People were just people. I don’t recall either of my parents ever using racial slurs. However, I do remember one of my brothers using one once. We all learned pretty quickly that sort of thing just didn’t fly. All-in-all the way my parents handled issues of race was one thing they did really well. 

However. 

The bubble I grew up in led me to believe that contemporary racism was a myth or at the very least a problem that had been solved with the end of Jim Crow, the dawn of the civil rights movement and programs like affirmative action. Growing up, I knew a few people who said racist things but they were mostly viewed as oddballs and social pariahs. It wasn’t until I moved to the deep south as a young adult that I realized racism is still alive and well. That said, I also observed that the most racist people I knew tended be older. My own children had friends from all races and backgrounds and no one thought anything of it. This reality gave me hope that perhaps racism would die off as older people and the attitudes they had been raised with also died off. 

Sadly, racism is still very much alive.  

In fact, the problem appears to be getting uglier and more toxic by the day. There are reasons for this. Unfortunately, there are still those (including some Christians) who refuse to let go of sinful attitudes concerning race. Further complicating an already thorny problem, are politicians and community organizers who have learned that division and stoking racism are effective tools to raise money and bring about political change that really has nothing to do with race or fixing the problem of racism. 

Christians cannot control what non-Christians do or don’t do. Nor should we even try (1st Corinthians 5:12-13). God will judge the world in due time (Revelation 20:12-13). However, Christians are meant to be an example in all things, including social and moral issues like racism (Ephesians 5:1-3, 1st Timothy 4:12).

Following are five truths Christians must live out daily if we want to see God’s will be done in the arena of race relations (Galatians 3:28, Colossians 3:11):

Commit yourself to judging people only on the content of their character- 

Okay, so admittedly the above statement is hardly original.  That said, it’s still the only right and just way to judge another human being (Matthew 7:1-2). Christians must never view others through a lens of race. Instead, we should view others as people made in the image of God who have a choice about what they do and how they live. Those who live life well and treat others with respect and dignity deserve admiration. Those who don’t need our prayers. Period. 

Understand that violence and hate cannot end violence, hate or injustice-

Martin Luther King Jr. famously said that: Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that and hate cannot drive out hate only love can do that.  The world needs to hear the message that attempting to oppose darkness, hate and racism by using race as a political cudgel or as an excuse to riot and violently protest will only make the world a darker place.

Recognize the truth that the sins of past generations cannot and should not be atoned for by the current generation-

 God does not punish children for the sins of their parents, grandparents or great-great grandparents (Ezekiel 18) and neither should anyone else. Sadly, sins that were committed by people who are long dead cannot be atoned for, they can only be forgiven and learned from. Forcing atonement through reparations for the evil of slavery will do nothing but create more division and deeper and even more profound wounds that will lead to even more racism.  

Check yourself- 

Self-evaluation is critical (2nd Corinthians 13:5), especially when it comes to attitudes of the heart. Racism is a sinful attitude of the heart we must check for frequently and deal with decisively (Matthew 5:30)   

Embrace the reality that the consequences of bad choices are not the same as racism- 

When people do stupid things there is often a sad consequence. Running from police or resisting arrest is without question one of the dumbest, most foolish things a persona can do and it often has tragic consequences, regardless of the race of the person running away or resisting arrest. The consequences that result from resisting arrest or running away from a police officer are not racist acts. Even if the officer is white and the person running from the police is not. Period. 

It’s time for a rebirth of personal responsibility and commonsense in our world, especially where moral and social issues are concerned. The church must lead the way in showing the world the right way to handle the very thorny issue of race.  

It’s our high and holy calling (Acts 2:17).

The How-to of Keeping any Relationship Healthy, Happy and Drama-free-

Lisa M. PriceLeave a comment

Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift- Matthew 5:23-24

 Relationships.

 They are without question both the blessing and the bane of human existence.

 When our closest relationships are healthy and thriving, life is good.  When a close relationship goes bad there is literally nothing more miserable and angst-inducing.  

 In our chaotic, sin-sick world messy, fragmented relationships are pretty much the new normal.

Sigh.

Nearly, half of marriages end in divorce, friendships end as quickly as they begin, business relationships no longer stand the test of time and churches routinely split over the stupidest stuff imaginable.

Our culture has been steeped in a it’s “all about me” mentality of relationship care for decades now. This has created an environment where it feels natural, normal and healthy to treat relationships like disposable commodities. It is not at all unusual even for Christians to write-off relationships as “toxic” and move on with little thought to the consequences of doing so. We have forsaken the principle found in Proverbs that tells us we should never forsake a friend or even the friend of a family member (Proverbs 27:10a). 

 The Bible clearly teaches Christians bear an extra measure of responsibility when it comes to the care, keeping and healing of relationships. We are reminded over and over again in Scripture that human relationships are not always easy but the difficulties involved in developing and maintaining healthy relationships make us better people (Proverbs 27:6, Proverbs 27:17) and bring joy to our lives (Proverbs 17:17, Proverbs 18:24).  Christians are directed to treat others the way they want to be treated and commanded to take the initiative when it comes to reconciling broken relationships (Matthew 7:12, Ephesians 4:32, Matthew 5:23-24, Luke 12:58).  Repairing damaged relationships and helping others to do the same is probably the most basic task Christians are called to in this life (2nd Corinthians 5:12-18).  The process begins with understanding and choosing to live out six principles:

 If something feels wrong in a relationship assume something IS wrong-

 Never trivialize or ignore the niggling sense you may have caused offense or alienated another person (Proverbs 18:19). When in doubt ask how the other person is feeling and/or modify your behavior. The earlier a damaged relationship is attended to the easier it is to repair.

 Do not short-circuit the recovery process-

 Anytime we jump to simply restoring a broken relationship without working through the issues that fractured the relationship in the first place we set in motion a series of events that will inevitably lead to even more brokenness and hurt. Problems need to be talked out, not glossed over if we want to see permanent recovery in the relationship and personal growth in ourselves. 

 Be willing to assume at least partial responsibility for any relationship fracture-  

 I truly loathe the adage: “perception is reality”. Mostly because if you really break it down it sounds like something a super crazy person would say. However, when it comes to hurt in relationships perception really is reality. It is critical we remember ALL human beings tend to be self-absorbed and blind to their own faults. For that reason, it is possible to hurt another person without knowing how we hurt them. Healthy, mature believers are always open to the idea that they may not understand how their words or actions have affected another person

 Accept the other person’s opinions regarding the situation-

 If someone lets you know the relationship has been broken or feels they were wronged by you it is not wise, kind or emotionally intelligent to write that person off as stupid, incorrect, easily hurt or just plain clueless. As Christians we owe it to God and people to find out why others feel the way they feel about situations that involve us—even when we truly believe we have done nothing wrong.  Not caring about the other persons perspective is both painfully narcissistic and grossly sinful.  The only time we are free from the obligation of exploring the other person’s perspective is if the individual flatly refuses to communicate with us.

 Be willing to let some things go-

 Our personal relationships matter to God partly because relationship health is a measure of our spiritual health and maturity level. It is also reasonable to say that from God’s perspective relationships are nearly always worth preserving (Proverbs 17:9). The key to achieving relationship health is a willingness to let some things go. Cruelty, gas lighting, unfaithfulness in marriage or flagrant disrespect for the other person is never okay. That said, most other issues can be worked through if both parties are willing to listen, change and forgive. 

Choose to view relationship troubles as opportunities for growth- 

 No normal, healthy or sane human being likes to have problems in their personal relationships. That said, truly mature people view all problems including relationship problems as an opportunity for growth rather than a hassle or a personal attack.

 The health of our relationships really and truly is the greatest measure of our maturity. It is also a powerful witness to unbelievers. A God who has the power to help a person have happy, healthy relationships is a God worth following. For that reason, alone Christians should do everything they can do to ensure their relationships are healthy and God honoring. 

How Hospitality can kill Christian Community-

Lisa M. Price2 Comments

We cared for you. Because we loved you so much, we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well~ 1stThessalonians 2:8 NIV

There is a theory circulating in the academic corners of Christianity that every four to six hundred years God shakes things up and the result is a seismic shift in the way Christians do church. The first shift occurred at the Council of Nicaea in A.D. 325. The second transpired when the Eastern and Western Churches parted ways in A.D. 1054. The third occurred on October 31st 1517 when Martin Luther posted his 95 theses in the sleepy little hamlet of Wittenberg Germany.

 It is being theorized by the wise and learned that the Church is in the middle of one of those seismic shifts right now. Recent political and social changes could have a dramatic impact on the way church is done a hundred years from now.

I am by no means a scholar. However, I do have a keen interest in Church history and a passion for weird theories. It occurred to me that the aforementioned shifts have resulted in a net loss and a net gain of something enormously significant to the church. At the council of Nicaea, the Church gained respectability but lost its simplicity and doctrinal purity. When Luther posted his theses, the Church gained a much-needed anchor (biblical truth) but lost its unity, cohesiveness and eventually its authority. 

As the modern church shifts due to technological, social and political changes Christians have no control over, we are in danger of losing important things we do have control over.  One of those things is community. The sense of community the early church experienced was the beacon that drew both gentiles and Jews into a life-changing relationship with Jesus. It was community that fueled the evangelistic fire of the early Church (Acts 2:42-47)

The church is losing community because Christians have adopted a non-biblical view of the Christian concept of hospitality. This is doubtless due to the influence of wildly popular cable channels like Food Network and HGTV. These networks have drilled into us that hospitality is simply preparing tasty food and decorating our homes in an appealing manner. In. reality true, biblical hospitality is the glue that binds community together. Following are four lies Christians believe about hospitality that can kill community and true closeness:

Hospitality and entertaining are the same thing-

Hospitality and entertaining guests look similar because one piece of hospitality is entertaining guests in our homes (Acts 16:15). That said, it is possible to have guests in our home on a regular basis and not actually practice biblical hospitality. Hospitality in the Christian sense of the word means caring deeply for the emotional, physical and spiritual needs of other people in an intimate setting (Acts 18:26, Romans 12:13, 3rd John 1:8). An intimate setting can be a home, a coffee shop, a church foyer, a street corner or a public park because intimacy is about the emotional and spiritual environment we generate with our presence, not our physical location.

Hospitality is optional-

 Hospitality is a command rather than a suggestion (Hebrews 13:2, 1st Peter 4:9, 1st John 2:3). When we practice hospitality, we not only show people we love them but we also demonstrate that God loves them too (Galatians 5:22-23, John 13:34). There is nothing optional about loving and caring about people if you’re a Christian.  

Hospitality has nothing to do with Evangelism- 

Hospitality is intrinsically connected to evangelism. Caring for the physical, spiritual and emotional needs of others is the fertile ground where the seeds of faith take root and grow (Colossians 4:4-5, Galatians 5:14).

I don’t have time for hospitality- 

This is by far the most common reason given for not practicing hospitality and on the surface, it looks and feels legitimate in our culture. People are busy, in most households the husband and the wife both work outside the home. Kids are frequently involved in extracurricular activities and sports. These activities eat up much if not all of our spare time.  Most are overwhelmed at the prospect of managing and maintaining close family relationships. Adding yet another relationship to the mix feels like an unreasonable burden.  All of these objections are perfectly defensible if the definition of hospitality is entertaining. However, if the definition of hospitality is caring for the needs of others in an intimate setting (and it is). Then all of a sudden, the reasons we give for not being hospitable sound more like poorly constructed excuses than rock-solid reasons. We are commanded in Scripture to make time to care about people, to listen to their problems and find out what’s going on in their lives. Saying we do not have time to be hospitable we are essentially saying we don’t have time to care.  I openly question the salvation experience of a “Christian” who says that they do not have time to care about the spiritual, emotional and physical needs of others (Matthew 22:39, John 13:34, 1st Thessalonians 2:8, Matthew 25:31-37). If we don’t have time to care, we need to cut something else out so we do have time to care. 

 Hospitality is not about getting it’s about giving (1st Peter 4:9). Christians should always be ready and willing to provide a listening ear, a warm meal, a soft heart and an open door.  When we don’t have time for those things we’ve lost the essence of being Christian.