Category: Wisdom

The How-to of Keeping any Relationship Healthy, Happy and Drama-free-

Lisa M. PriceLeave a comment

Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift- Matthew 5:23-24

 Relationships.

 They are without question both the blessing and the bane of human existence.

 When our closest relationships are healthy and thriving, life is good.  When a close relationship goes bad there is literally nothing more miserable and angst-inducing.  

 In our chaotic, sin-sick world messy, fragmented relationships are pretty much the new normal.

Sigh.

Nearly, half of marriages end in divorce, friendships end as quickly as they begin, business relationships no longer stand the test of time and churches routinely split over the stupidest stuff imaginable.

Our culture has been steeped in a it’s “all about me” mentality of relationship care for decades now. This has created an environment where it feels natural, normal and healthy to treat relationships like disposable commodities. It is not at all unusual even for Christians to write-off relationships as “toxic” and move on with little thought to the consequences of doing so. We have forsaken the principle found in Proverbs that tells us we should never forsake a friend or even the friend of a family member (Proverbs 27:10a). 

 The Bible clearly teaches Christians bear an extra measure of responsibility when it comes to the care, keeping and healing of relationships. We are reminded over and over again in Scripture that human relationships are not always easy but the difficulties involved in developing and maintaining healthy relationships make us better people (Proverbs 27:6, Proverbs 27:17) and bring joy to our lives (Proverbs 17:17, Proverbs 18:24).  Christians are directed to treat others the way they want to be treated and commanded to take the initiative when it comes to reconciling broken relationships (Matthew 7:12, Ephesians 4:32, Matthew 5:23-24, Luke 12:58).  Repairing damaged relationships and helping others to do the same is probably the most basic task Christians are called to in this life (2nd Corinthians 5:12-18).  The process begins with understanding and choosing to live out six principles:

 If something feels wrong in a relationship assume something IS wrong-

 Never trivialize or ignore the niggling sense you may have caused offense or alienated another person (Proverbs 18:19). When in doubt ask how the other person is feeling and/or modify your behavior. The earlier a damaged relationship is attended to the easier it is to repair.

 Do not short-circuit the recovery process-

 Anytime we jump to simply restoring a broken relationship without working through the issues that fractured the relationship in the first place we set in motion a series of events that will inevitably lead to even more brokenness and hurt. Problems need to be talked out, not glossed over if we want to see permanent recovery in the relationship and personal growth in ourselves. 

 Be willing to assume at least partial responsibility for any relationship fracture-  

 I truly loathe the adage: “perception is reality”. Mostly because if you really break it down it sounds like something a super crazy person would say. However, when it comes to hurt in relationships perception really is reality. It is critical we remember ALL human beings tend to be self-absorbed and blind to their own faults. For that reason, it is possible to hurt another person without knowing how we hurt them. Healthy, mature believers are always open to the idea that they may not understand how their words or actions have affected another person

 Accept the other person’s opinions regarding the situation-

 If someone lets you know the relationship has been broken or feels they were wronged by you it is not wise, kind or emotionally intelligent to write that person off as stupid, incorrect, easily hurt or just plain clueless. As Christians we owe it to God and people to find out why others feel the way they feel about situations that involve us—even when we truly believe we have done nothing wrong.  Not caring about the other persons perspective is both painfully narcissistic and grossly sinful.  The only time we are free from the obligation of exploring the other person’s perspective is if the individual flatly refuses to communicate with us.

 Be willing to let some things go-

 Our personal relationships matter to God partly because relationship health is a measure of our spiritual health and maturity level. It is also reasonable to say that from God’s perspective relationships are nearly always worth preserving (Proverbs 17:9). The key to achieving relationship health is a willingness to let some things go. Cruelty, gas lighting, unfaithfulness in marriage or flagrant disrespect for the other person is never okay. That said, most other issues can be worked through if both parties are willing to listen, change and forgive. 

Choose to view relationship troubles as opportunities for growth- 

 No normal, healthy or sane human being likes to have problems in their personal relationships. That said, truly mature people view all problems including relationship problems as an opportunity for growth rather than a hassle or a personal attack.

 The health of our relationships really and truly is the greatest measure of our maturity. It is also a powerful witness to unbelievers. A God who has the power to help a person have happy, healthy relationships is a God worth following. For that reason, alone Christians should do everything they can do to ensure their relationships are healthy and God honoring. 

How Should a Christian Respond to the Gender Spectrum?

Lisa M. Price4 Comments

Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them- Genesis 1:26a-27 NIV

Like every human over the age of forty, I have witnessed a great deal of change over my lifetime. Some of these changes have been wonderful, others meh and some others have been simply awful. It’s fair to say that no area of human society has seen more change in the last two decades than the areas of gender and sexual expression.

Back in the day, there were men and woman.

Those two options pretty much covered the scope and scale of the gender spectrum. A man might have wished he was a woman or dressed like a woman but all of society would have agreed that if a human was born with a penis that was all the evidence needed to declare the person a man.  There were women who impersonated men but it never occurred to anyone that a woman behaving like a man might actually be a man. How one chose to express their sexuality (gay, straight, bi-sexual) had no bearing on whether or not a person was male or female. Gender was determined by this thing called biology. 

Biology is so 1955.

There is now a whole gender spectrum to choose from. Among the plethora of options, one can now be male, female, androgynous, transgender, gender queer, non-binary, gay, straight, bi-sexual, pansexual, asexual, gay trans, bi-sexual-trans, binary trans, gender questioning and gender fluid. 

Sigh. 

For all sorts of really rational reasons average Christians have struggled to address this issue in a logical, respectful and kind way. It’s a difficult issue to wrap our minds around. Further complicating the whole messy muddle any objection to or questioning of the gender spectrum is perceived by most non-Christians and some Christians as transphobic, homophobic, regressive and mean. Consequently, Christians have either ignored the problem altogether, avoided discussing it outside of Christian circles or ridiculed the whole situation openly. Regrettably, none of the aforementioned strategies actually do anything to help Christians act as salt and light in our increasingly confused and broken world (Matthew 5:13-16). 

Ephesians 6:14 commands Christians to stand against evil ideas. In order to do that we have to understand from a biblical perspective what’s wrong with a particular philosophy and where it will likely lead us. 

The gender spectrum is clearly one of the Satanic schemes the Bible warns us about (Ephesians 6:11, 1st Peter 5:8). The notion that there is a gender smorgasbord out there with dozens of different options from which to choose from is an assault on God’s design. It is also a direct contradiction to God’s assertion that He created human beings as male and female only (Genesis 1:27). Among other things, this particular assault is intended to generate doubt concerning the goodness and truthfulness of God in the minds of people who are struggling with questions regarding sex, sexuality and gender. It’s critical we remember Satan has been planting doubt concerning the goodness and truthfulness of God since the dawn of the human race (Genesis 3:1) 

Human beings were made for connection with God (Genesis 3:8). It’s inherent in our design. Because most in our culture have rejected the Creator gender identity and sexuality have become a strange form of religious expression for those who have spurned belief in God (Romans 1:24-32). This explains the peculiar post-modern practice of folks introducing themselves by stating their name, sexual orientation and gender identity. Sexuality and gender give their life meaning and is where they find their identity. 

This turn of events ought to break our hearts because it breaks God’s heart, It should not drive us to despair or hateful rhetoric. Rather, we should be overwhelmed with grief for a generation that has lost its way morally, spiritually and sexually. There are six practical things Christians can do to help lead our culture come back to a healthier understanding of sexuality and gender and back into right relationship with God. 

We must:

Love our neighbors- 

We should look for ways to love everyone, even those super messy people who freak us out a little bit. We must search for ways to engage people who are different from us. The engagement must be done in a spirit of both truth and love. It helps no one when we bend our beliefs to placate the culture. That being said, people need to know there is God who loves them beyond measure who wants to free them from the spiritual and sexual bondage they’ve gotten themselves into.   

Pray for revival-

It almost goes without saying our world has problems that cannot and will not be solved using human methods. We have fallen too far down the proverbial rabbit hole. We supernatural intervention. Stat. Prayer is the only way to get the intervention we need (Ephesians 6:18, 1st Thessalonians 5:17). Prayer has the power to transform unbelievers and give believers the spiritual power needed to love the lost and hurting. Christians are commanded to make a practice of praying for everyone all the time. If your church has a regularly scheduled prayer time, go and pray. If your church does not have a scheduled prayer time consider starting one in your home. Invite your friends and begin by praying for revival. When people truly get right with God their view of gender and sexuality will align with what the Bible says about these issues.  

Model healthy families-

It has never been more critical for Christians to have healthy, functional family units. The world needs to see families where men protect and nurture their wives and children and where women respect their husbands and make mothering children a priority.

Celebrate the differences between men and women-

God made men and women and different from each other. The diversity in the created order is a beautiful thing that deserves celebration because both men and women reflect the image of God in different ways (Genesis 1:27) Little boys should be told it’s a good and special thing to be a boy and little girls should be told it’s a beautiful thing to be made female. If we don’t the world will step in and tell them something different.

Stop being weird-

There are Christians who believe it is wrong for men to cook or do housework because it’s “not manly” and an “affront to God”.  Others believe that women should never work outside the home or attend college. There are still Christians who sincerely believe a woman should remain “under the authority “of her Father until she is married. These absurdly antiquated ideas are almost impossible to backup biblically without twisting Scripture and they make Christianity look really weird to non-Christians. Weird does nothing to further our cause.

Last but not least.

Christians must speak the truth with an attitude of love and grace. Admittedly, this is tricky and difficult. But it must be done. We simply have to find ways to engage people in hard conversations where we tell them the truth in loving tones and with a spirit of humility rather that self-righteousness (Ephesians 4:15). If we can do this we might have a shot of not just changing their minds on gender but also turning their hearts towards Jesus.

Practical Things all Christians Can Do to Push Back the Darkness-

Lisa M. Price1 Comment

Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed- John 3:20 NIV

I have not been cursed with a ton of vices. 

Drugs, alcohol, and gambling are not enormous temptations for me. Nor am I into video games, binge eating, hoarding, porn or nicotine. I do sometimes use shopping as a stress release. However, I hate credit card debt slightly more than I love shopping so the odds I will morph into a full-blown shopping addict are fairly slim.   

Politics is my vice. 

Much to the chagrin of my far less politically minded husband, I follow political parties the way a gaming addict follows NFL teams and a gambling addict follows the ponies. The Presidential elections are my super bowl and I begin gearing up for them a good two years prior to the actual election. 

 As a history geek I am fascinated by the reality that democracy is a relatively new development in human government, having only existed as we know it for a few hundred years.  In my nerdier moments (there are many) I like to ponder the evolution of politics and government. As a Christian I am intrigued by the fact that in our system the election of a single person often has an enormous impact on the political, economic and moral landscape of our nation, sometimes for decades. 

Unfortunately, this understanding can cause me to fall into the trap of thinking that if the right person or group of people get elected the outcome will magically alter the moral landscape of our country permanently.  Recently, I came heard a quote that threw a truth grenade on the folly of my thinking: 

We are not seeing terrible things in our culture because we vote the wrong way. We are seeing terrible things in our culture because men love darkness more than light-Voddie Baucham

It is a sad fact that people love darkness more than they love light (John 3:19). At the heart of every “hot-button” issue we are dealing with as a culture is a powerful battle between right and wrong, light and darkness, good and evil. If hearts are changed political and moral views will change too. Changing hearts is way above any of our pay grades. That’s God’s job. However, the Bible is clear that individuals do have influence over others and there are things that can be done to push back the darkness.

Beginning with:

Prayer-

No one should talk about prayer or extol the virtues of prayer unless they are taking time out of their day to actually pray (1st Thessalonians 5:17, Matthew 26:41).  Christians should pray because prayer has the power to change things. More importantly prayer changes our attitudes towards people and it makes our hearts soft towards God all critically important things if we want to push back darkness.  

Get some theology- 

The whole notion of holding tightly to beliefs concerning God, the Bible and life has been scoffed at inside and outside the church in recent years. Some well-known pastors have publicly criticized Christians who place a high value on Bible study.  The Apostle Paul’s proclamation that “knowledge puffs up” has been taken out of context so many times that most people do not realize that the apostle was referring to knowledge concerning a specific issue (idols).  Christians have been told repeatedly that all they need to do to effectively live out their Christian faith is love God and people.  Believing that “love” is all Christians need to communicate Christ effectively is a tragically immature understanding of both Christianity and love (1st Peter 3:15). Our post-Christian world does not define the word love by a biblical standard. Therefore it is impossible to know how to love God or love people without theology as our guide. We should get in the habit of asking ourselves what the Bible says about every issue and then study the Bible to know the answers (2nd Peter 1:3-9, Proverbs 18:15). 

Live right-

Holy or righteous living is another tragically misunderstood issue our time. There are actual church-going people who believe it is legalistic to expect Christians to live by the standards laid out for us in the New Testament. It’s not. Holy living is what gives Christians credibility and the right to speak out concerning the issues of our day (1stCorinthians 1:2, Ephesians 5:3, 1st Thessalonians 4:7, Hebrews 12;14).  

Serve–

If we want to push back the darkness it is critical we serve in our local church. Christians should volunteer to do whatever needs to be done at their church and work to make their local church as strong and healthy as possible. It is equally important Christians find creative ways to serve those outside the church. This is done best when we become intentional about getting to know the people in our neighborhoods and workplaces.  

Vote wisely-

I hope I already made it clear I really and truly do not think politics are the answer to our problems. HOWEVER, if Christians vote for leaders who openly embrace darkness we should not be surprised when our world suddenly becomes a darker place. 

Don’t be a jerk-

Just don’t. Our world has enough jerks. By all means speak the truth, the world needs it desperately. Just do your level-best to be as non-jerky as you can manage while you do it.

And finally,

Whatever else you do, do not waver in doing good and living righteously (Galatians 6:9). No matter how tempted you might be to do so. Spiritual quitters never accomplish anything good or life-giving, so learn the Bible, set shamelessly high biblical standards for yourself. Live by those standards and beliefs. Speak the truth loudly and proudly and above all else love the lost with everything you’ve got. Do not allow the culture persuade you to do anything else. We were made for times like these.

Why it’s Christian to Know History and tell the Truth About History-

Lisa M. Price3 Comments

These days should be remembered and observed in every generation by every family, and in every province and in every city. And these days of Purim should never fail to be celebrated by the Jews—nor should the memory of these days die out among their descendants~ Esther 9:28 

In an interview, the congresswoman from Minnesota, Rashida Tlaib, explained that when she thinks about the holocaust she experiences a “calming feeling”. Ms. Tlaib expounded by saying she feels “heartened” by the knowledge that the Palestinian people worked hard and made many sacrifices to create a safe haven for the Jews after the holocaust.

Anyone with access to even a poorly written history book knows that Ms. Tlaib, is best case scenario ignorant of some key facts and, worst case scenario is intentionally rewriting some elementary points of history. It is true that that the Palestinian people did make room for the Jews after World War II ended. However, it is also true that the Palestinian people did not do this willingly, joyfully or without a fight.  Another key detail being omitted by Ms. Tlaib is that the Palestinian leader (mufti) at the time (Amin al-Hussenini) was a staunch ally of Hitler and hardly a gleeful advocate of a Jewish homeland. 

The Holocaust is not the only historical event or movement being retold from a less than honest perspective these days. Communism has also gotten a complete makeover. Gone are the historical accounts of gulags, propaganda crusades, starvation campaigns, nepotism and genocide. The evils of Communism have been retold as a Scandinavian success story whose reputation has been sullied by a few bad actors in some Eastern bloc countries (Soviet Union, Romania, East Germany, etc.) who failed to implement a righteous movement properly.  As a result, the horrors of communism have been largely forgotten and it is now cool to light things on fire and demand the end of the capitalism system

In the United States there is a movement afoot to erase all details of any unpleasantness from early American history. Statues commemorating the Civil War have been torn down and the names of those Founding Fathers who owned slaves have been removed from schools and official buildings. History curriculums have been rewritten to focus only on the negative facets of early American leaders who owned slaves or held views that are now discredited.  

  In some instances (as with the Civil War statues) the twisting is done in the name of ensuring that no tender soul is triggered by some unpleasant historical fact. This is a noble but deeply misguided desire Christians must fight against (Psalm 45:4). It is impossible to learn anything from a history we are ignorant of and God calls His people to truth (John 8:32). The whole truth about history must be told to prevent it from being repeated.  We need society to grow from the mistakes made by our ancestors. Furthermore, it is critical we judge historical figures in the context of their time rather than ours. It is perfectly reasonable to wonder how a rational human being could possibly think it was okay to own another person. That said, our generation would be wise to stop being so ridiculously patronizing and scornful of previous generations.  We should be much more cautious about judging those long dead for actions and attitudes that were culturally accepted and legally permitted during their lifetime. There is a plethora of culturally accepted and perfectly legal behaviors in our time that history may judge our generation harshly for in the future (Matthew 7:1-3). 

Seriously. 

Our society is in a precarious place.

There has never been a time when it was more important for wise, thinking, Christian people to know history, teach their children history and to be willing to call out those who are attempting to rewrite history (Deuteronomy 32:7). 

Our liberty, religious freedom and the health of our culture might just depend on it (Jeremiah 7:28). 

How Christians Unintentionally Encourage Sexual sin-

Lisa M. Price3 Comments

Things that cause people to stumble are bound to come, but woe to anyone through whom they come. So, watch yourselves~ Luke 17:1 & 3 NIV

 Most of the stupid things people do are not done deliberately.

 In my experience, most people just kind of fumble around blindly doing stuff without putting a whole lot of thought into the long-term consequences of their actions. Unfortunately, this creates all sorts of unintended consequences.

 Sadly, Christians sometimes do the same thing.   

  Lots of decent, well-intended followers of Jesus make choices out of impulse or reflex, rather than using a careful study of God’s word as their guide. At the same time, this unfortunate reality has merged with a tendency to look at what the culture is doing, or what’s popular rather than thinking through issues from a Biblical perspective or asking God for guidance.

 Sadly, these predispositions always play themselves out in one of two equally wrong responses. Either Christians do a “Christian” version of whatever is popular with the culture; or conversely, we go so far in the opposite direction of what the world is doing that we become a peculiar, cartoon-like version of what God intended the Church to be.

 Nowhere is this truer than in the area of sex.

 On one end of the spectrum, there are churches that have lowered their sexual standards in an effort to help unbelievers and immature Christians feel more comfortable in Christian community. These churches have unwittingly adopted the same attitudes towards sex as the unbelieving world. Other Christians have simply embraced a slightly more “Christian” version of the worldly standard. For example: many believers do not care if an engaged couple has sex before marriage (as long they are careful keep it on the down-low). However, these same people are appalled at the mere thought of two Christians living together before marriage because the sin is out in the open instead of carefully hidden.

 On the other end of the spectrum, there are churches whose entire spiritual identity is built around preventing sexual activity of any kind from taking place in the lives of unmarried people. These churches spend more time addressing the spiritual threats of swimsuits, hand-holding and premarital front-hugs than they do discussing salvation and related issues such as repentance and discipleship. This is not only a serious derailment from the churches principal mission (Matthew 28:17-20, 2nd Timothy 2:4, Matthew 10:8). It also makes Christians look like a bunch of sex-obsessed weirdos.  

 Sigh.

 The absurdity of all this aside, the bigger problem with how churches handle sexuality these days is that we actually encourage sexual sin in four ways:

 The church is far too soft on the sin of adultery (especially where men are concerned)-

 The immense pressure placed on Christian women to forgive husbands guilty of adultery simply cannot be overstated. Women are too-often coerced by well-intentioned but ridiculously overeager clergy to forgive their husband’s infidelity and restore the relationship right away. This typically happens long before the woman has processed her grief or the man has demonstrated sincere repentance. This has resulted in a shocking number of Christian men (and some women) who appear to have no qualms about committing adultery over and over again (Proverbs 6:32). It has also created a sizable group of women and a few men who have been shamed into doing something they are under no biblical obligation to do (Matthew 5:32). Forgiveness is always required of Christians (Matthew 6:15). However, marital reconciliation should only take place if the injured party is truly willing and the adulterer (male or female) has demonstrated sincere repentance and a readiness to grow into a better spouse and Jesus follower.  Anything less, simply encourages sinful behavior in the church by minimizing the consequences of sin (1st Corinthians 5:11).

 We do not treat pornography like the sin that it is–

 If I hear one more male Christian leader refer to pornography as “just pornography” I will need to be medicated and/or physically restrained. Sixty-eight percent of Christian men routinely view pornography precisely because it is treated as a lightweight and trivial sin. Choosing to view pornography is not only a categorically icky form of sexual immorality (Hebrews 12:16, Hebrews 13:4). It is also a clear violation of Matthew 5:28. Like most sins, the sin of viewing pornography leads to other sins such as hypocrisy, adultery, dehumanizing others through lust, spiritual and social isolation and sometimes even an inability to perform the “marital duty” (1st Corinthians 7:3).

Sigh. 

 Some churches cover-up pedophilia-

 The Catholic church has gotten a lot of bad press over this issue in recent years. However, it is far from unheard of in Protestant and Evangelical churches.  A valued leader gets accused of touching a child inappropriately and the church decides to deal with the problem “in-house”. At that point the whole messy mess gets swept under the rug or the leader is simply asked to leave the church.  Then the leader simply goes to another church and more little lives are ruined. This is not okay. Every accusation should be thoroughly investigated by the proper authorities (the Elder or Deacon board do NOT qualify as the proper authorities). Yes, this is hard. Yes, it will hurt the reputation to the church. However, it will not hurt the churches reputation nearly as badly as when the community discovers a church failed to protect the most vulnerable in their congregation (Luke 17:2, Matthew 25:45). 

 We don’t help young adults to date-

 The Bible is clear that marriage is a noble and necessary thing (Genesis 2:24, Proverbs 18:22, Hebrews 13:4). That being said, for some inexplicable reason there is a ton of shame in the Christian culture surrounding Christians participating in the process of finding a spouse.  Because dating is taboo in many Christian churches most churches do not give Christian kids a lot of instruction on how or who to date and there are literally no opportunities for Christian young people to get to know each other inside the church. As a result, most young people date outside of the church which leads to a lot of missteps (Tinder, bars, campus parties, drunken hook-ups). Those missteps inevitably end in sexual immorality and sometimes even a departure from the faith. Maybe it’s time for churches to be intentional about setting-up opportunities for young Christians from similar denominations to get to know one another so they can get married; rather than shame them for having a natural desire to find a spouse. Seriously. 

The way churches have handled sexuality has hurt Christianity’s reputation as well as many people in the church. It’s time for change. It starts one church at a time.

How People Curse Themselves-

Lisa M. PriceLeave a comment


Like a sparrow in its flitting, like a swallow in its flying, so a curse without cause does not alight~ Proverbs 26:2 NASB

 The word curse or curses is used a total of 178 times in the Bible. The conspicuously large number of times the word is used in both the Old and the New Testaments has led some (both Christian and non-Christian) to believe God is all about cursing anyone who crosses Him. These folks sincerely believe God scans the planet looking for those He can lay a horrible hex on.

  In the interest of fairness, I feel the need to point out that the only record I could find of God actually cursing anyone or anything is in the book of Genesis (Genesis 3:16-19). In chapter three God lays out a series of curses related to Adam and Eve’s disobedience in the garden of Eden.

 Issues of fairness aside, the Bible does not hesitate to reference the concept of curses.  The better part of Deuteronomy twenty-eight is just one long list of ghastly curses that will befall the Israelite people if they don’t get their spiritual act together and keep it that way. That passage coupled with the many other references to the word beg the question: Does God curse people for doing the wrong thing?

 Nope.

 Not that I don’t believe curses are a real thing. There are simply too many biblical references to the subject for a serious Christian to dismiss the whole thing as antiquated twaddle or voodoo (Proverbs 3:33, Proverbs 28:27, Hebrews 6:8). That said, God does not curse people willy-nilly simply because they displease or annoy Him.

 It’s a bit more complicated than just that.

 God has designed the universe in such a way that if we do certain things certain consequences are inevitable. If someone places their hand on a hot stove, pain predictably follows. God does not cause anyone to put their hand on a stove and God certainly does not burn anyone’s hand.  Consequences occur because they are built into the design of the universe.  God doesn’t curse us.  We curse ourselves.  Following are four weird ways we bring curses on our own stupid selves.

 We curse ourselves when we refuse to break sinful patterns in our family line-

 Many believe they are cursed to do stupid stuff because they a had a parent or grandparent or great-grandparent who did stupid stuff.  They believe that because some distant relative sinned in some foolhardy way God cursed the entire family line to sin exactly the same way for the rest of history.  It is true that patterns of sinful behavior run in families. It is also true that sinful behavior and attitudes can run deep. That said, the Bible makes it clear that God does not hold children responsible for the sins of the parents (Ezekiel 18:1-32). Furthermore, these types of curses are not difficult to break. Once a person repents of a sinful attitude or behavior the curse is broken.  Case closed.    

 We curse ourselves when we harshly judge situations we don’t understand or haven’t lived through–

 Back in the day, my husband and I had some friends who were extremely critical and vocal in their criticism of how we parented our oldest daughter. We weren’t strict enough, we let her stay up too late, we let her eat too much candy, we didn’t discipline her enough or in the correct way. We naturally assumed that when these people had kids their kids would be the best behaved, sweetest, most well-mannered children in the history of children. They weren’t. They were awful. Those children were so dreadfully awful both sets of grandparents flat refused to babysit them. I don’t say this to gloat (at least I am trying really hard not to) rather to make a point. When we judge people, we tend to repeat the same sins of the people we judge (Matthew 7:2, Psalm 58:1), typically, we do this without even realizing we are doing it.

 We curse ourselves when we choose to become bitter-

 Anytime we chose the path of bitterness over the path of forgiveness we are cursed to become exactly like the people we refuse to forgive. I am not entirely certain why or how this happens. That said, I have observed it happen enough times to know it’s a real thing. I suspect we become like the person we are bitter towards because bitterness causes us to become extremely focused (in a very unhealthy way) on that one person. Having so much of our mental energy focused on the negative aspects of one person causes us, over time, to take on the characteristics of that person without being aware of what we are doing. So, if you do not wish to become a mirror image of your gossipy, critical Mother or your angry, alcoholic Father I strongly suggest you forgive immediately (Ephesians 4:31, Hebrews 12:15, Job 21:25).  

And finally,

 We curse ourselves when we refuse the Holy Spirit. Anytime God tells us to do anything in His word or the Holy Spirit prompts us to action and we choose to ignore those promptings we curse ourselves.  Ignoring the voice of God hardens our hearts (Hebrews 3:7-8, Hebrews 4:7). The harder our hearts become the more difficult it becomes to discern truth from God’s word, to hear His still-small voice or even to care when the Holy Spirit prompts us to action.

 That perhaps is the worst curse of all.

Finding Authentic Freedom-

Lisa M. PriceLeave a comment

For the Lord God is a sun and shield; The Lord gives grace and glory; No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly~ Psalm 84:11

 Content warning ahead:

 Our family drove to the Oregon coast this past weekend to connect with my four siblings for the first time since our Mother died eight-years-ago. The reunion was a blessing in every sense. However, it was also chaotic (in a good, loud, big-family kind of way) and a marathon of frenzied activity from start to finish.

 I left the beach emotionally gratified and seriously sleep deprived.

 The emotional hullabaloo and lack of sleep combined with too much time to think on the drive home left me feeling a bit navel-gaze-y. Evidently, one possible side effect of too much reflection is an overly emotional blog post. That little disclaimer out of the way, I do believe that I may have hit on some spiritual truth in the midst of at least some of my musings.

 For that reason I pray you’ll give it a read.

 As we passed through a really ugly part of Eastern Oregon it occurred to me that Christians seldom talk about the fall of mankind anymore. We should because our world and everything in it was dramatically distorted in the blink of an eye and not just spiritually. The fall altered how we relate to God, one another and even the natural world. Relationships that were once carefree and easy to navigate suddenly became complex and even adversarial.

 One of the results of living in a fallen world is that even the best stuff in life often has a distinctly sad edge to it.

 Reunions are happy but the separations that instigated the reunions never are. Parenthood is one of the most joyful events a person experience in this life; it is also one of the most difficult and befuddling. Roses have thorns; every profit has a loss built into it. Human innovation typically has at least one unintended and profoundly unpleasant consequence- and cake makes us fat.  

 This reality plays out in the spiritual realm as well.

 Spiritual growth and the blessings that go with it can only be achieved through an oftentimes-painful surrendering of our very selves. Forgiving others brings freedom but at the cost of forfeiting the basic right most of us feel we should have: the right to seek revenge on the jerks that hurt us. The fall even affected our feelings about right and wrong and our perception of reality. Wrong typically feels right and is usually the path of least resistance. Right is always the harder road to traverse.

 Even the grace of God has a sad side to it. Grace, that thing we rejoice in, venerate and write songs about is only necessary because of sin, sin ruined literally everything and sin breaks the heart of God.

 Gloomy, I know.

Grace is necessary because human beings blew it and were powerless to stop blowing it for even a single minute. God is relentlessly generous, so when it became appallingly obvious that there was no way any of us could be good on our own God stepped in. He sent His son to die for us and gave us the grace we needed.

 This realization was almost too much to bear. I was done in.

 Mostly because I have come to believe that our generation has a fundamental misunderstanding of the nature of grace and our lack of understanding is keeping us from becoming the people God has ordained us to be. We tend to view grace as nothing more than a massive bucket of forgiveness we can dip into anytime we have a sin that needs forgiving. We treat forgiveness like a magic concoction we apply to sin to make it acceptable, rather than an essential concession to our sinfulness.

 Thankfully, grace is much more than just a big bucket of forgiveness.

 Grace is power that frees us from the oppression of sin. The grace of God does more than simply forgive our transgressions. The grace of God gives us the power to overcome the sin nature that plagues us all (Titus 2:10-12). When we make the choice to live a holy life (Colossians 3:5-14, 1st Thessalonians 4:3-8, 2nd Peter 1:3-11) God dispenses the grace we need when we need it. That grace empowers us embrace the behaviors we need to embrace and let go of the behaviors we need to let go of so that we can be like Jesus.