Category: Hard Conversations

Where we’re at with the Gender Debate-

Lisa M. Price4 Comments

 Watch, stand fast in the faith, be brave, be strong.Let all that you do be done with love- 1st Corinthians 16:13-14 NKJV 

Satan is alive and well and partying it up on planet earth.  

This spring at a YMCA in Springfield Illinois, sixteen-year-old Abigail Newton became uncomfortable with a transgender female (biological male) using the same women’s locker room as her girls’ swim team.  When her parents expressed concern over the situation YMCA administrators dismissed their objections and Abigail was suspended from the swim team.  

Meanwhile in Washington State: 

A bill has passed into law allowing children as young as twelve to live in tax-payer-funded youth shelters while receiving tax-payer-funded “gender affirming care”. This “healthcare” (hormones and surgery) can be accessed without parental consent or even notification.  In the once great state of Washington, it is now “abusive” for parents to object to or attempt to interfere with an underage child’s gender transition. 

These situations are not isolated occurrences of lunacy.  

This is because most public universities have been teaching gender theories (multiple genders, we are the gender we think we are etc.) as fact for decades. As a result, there has been a “trickle-down effect” in education. The idea there is a smorgasbord of genders to choose from is now taught in public schools beginning in the pre-school and elementary years because that’s what teachers have been learning in college for more than a decade.  Fewer teachers in red states advocate for radical sexual propaganda to be taught and the ones who do are quieter about it than in blue states. Nevertheless, that does not mean gender is not an issue everywhere.  

Gender propaganda is impacting public policy on every level. Women are forced to compete against biological men in women’s sports, anyone who sees this as unjust is written off as a bigot and snubbed in polite society. Pronouns are a huge deal these days, using the wrong one or “mis-gendering” someone, even on accident can cost you a hefty fine in many cities. Forty-four percent of young adults believe mis-gendering someone should land a person in jail. In eighteen states anyone can use whatever restroom they wish. Men can identify as women capriciously, making it possible for men to enter female-only spaces anytime they wish, regardless of how they are dressed or whether or not they have fully transitioned.   

Here’s the thing: 

This is the new normal and things will likely get worse before they get better. This because gender ideology has deeply spiritual roots. Anytime human beings in large numbers begin to ignore the evidence for God found in creation they eventually fall face-first into idolatry (Galatians 5:19-21). When this happens the whims and wishes of fallible human beings take the lead and God’s wisdom is either disregarded or treated as “damaging”. This inevitably leads people down a rabbit hole where their thinking becomes confused and darkened (Ephesians 4:18, Romans 1:18-32, 2nd Timothy 3:1). Wrong thinking inevitably leads people to embrace strange ideas about life and sexuality.  

This is where we’re living right now.  

Modern-day idolatry is focused almost entirely on the worship of self. Every aspect of our culture encourages people to do what feels good and to accept, nurture and embrace with open arms their most “authentic self”. Unfortunately, because humans are fallen beings our most authentic self is typically confused, chaotic, sinful and prone to believe all sorts of deception. The things that feel best to us are often the most detrimental to our mental and spiritual health. 

Sigh.   

The only way out of this rabbit hole will be an incredibly far-reaching revival that impacts people everywhere, including those in the highest levels of government and education. Pandora’s box has been flung wide open and Christians need to get busy figuring out how to live in and make a difference in this brave new world.  

 So, what do we do?  

This is not the time for wishy-washy pandering to the feelings of sinners, nor is it a time for cooperation with the world (Colossians 2:8). The body of Christ cannot compromise on this issue. We must be firm that there is no such thing as a third, fourth or sixty-third gender option. God made male and female (Genesis 1:27). That’s it. Period. Christians should support public officials who embrace a traditional view of gender. We should refuse to purchase products produced by companies who openly push radical sexual views and theories. Gender ideology is a powerful social contagion that cannot be allowed to infiltrate the church. Christians should leave churches where gender theory is taught as fact or acceptance of gender theory is encouraged by leadership. 

 However.  

 It is equally as important to be kind and that we do our best to speak this hard truth with minimum vitriol (Ephesians 4:15). This is not a time for cruelty or name-calling. These issues are deeply spiritual; therefore, this is a time to set aside our own agenda and desires and make the time to pray with other believers for our culture. We must understand that for the most part, these folks really do believe what they say they believe about gender. Countless numbers of people today are victims of a powerful satanic deception. They have been taken captive in their thinking by the enemy (Matthew 24:4, 2nd Thessalonians 2:9-10, 1st Peter 5:8). We should never fault the lost for being lost (Luke 15:4).  Instead we ought to do our level best to extend the compassion and love of Jesus while we lovingly hold firm to the timeless truths of Scripture.     

What is the Right way to deal with Bad or Questionable Spiritual Leadership?

Lisa M. PriceLeave a comment


Have confidence in your leaders and submit to their authority, because they keep watch over you as those who must give an account. Do this so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no benefit to you~ Hebrews 13:7 NIV

 Anyone who has been a Christian for any length of time has experienced one of the following scenarios:

A trusted spiritual leader (a pastor or Bible study leader) says something (or a lot of somethings) troubling from a doctrinal perspective-

We feel uneasy with the direction the pastor is taking the church-

We have (or know someone who has) a spiritual, physical or emotional need not being met in the church-

We feel the church has become dangerously inwardly focused-

Our feelings have been hurt in some way by the pastor or another leader-

We suspect our pastor (or someone in the church) is not living a moral life-

 These situations are not unique to contemporary church life. The church has been dealing with sticky issues since the very dawn of church (Acts 6:1-7, 1st Corinthians 5:1-11, Galatians 2:11-14 Acts 15:36-39). How church people choose to handle these types of situations matter. Unfortunately, they are typically handled rather poorly in one of two ways: either leadership problems are talked about but not with the leader (Ephesians 4:26): or, conversely someone (or group of someones) confronts the leader with a long list of the leader’s faults, problems and inadequacies. In both cases a sensitive situation is handled with all of the elegance and grace of a herd of wild goats running free at a tea party (Proverbs 13:3, Proverbs 29:20).

 Both ways of dealing with the issue inevitably end in disaster.

The first typically ends with a large group of unhappy people quietly leaving their church and taking their unresolved issues with them.  Sadly, these folks rarely explain why they left or go back and work things through with the leader. The leader remains forever bewildered by the desertion and never learns anything that might make them a better person or leader. Those who leave take their anger and resentment with them to the next church where they perpetuate the cycle of unresolved problems and church hurt (James 1:20). When leaders are confronted in a harsh way or in a way that makes them feel blindsided it typically results in a hurt leader who feels bullied by the people he or she has loved and invested in. It is not at all unusual for these leaders to leave the ministry in anger and disillusionment. 

 Either way, Satan wins and everyone else loses.

 We have to do better. The health of the body is on the line. Following are five recommendations for having a tough conversation with a spiritual leader.

 Keep your leadership expectations in line with reality-

 Here’s the thing: even the very best pastors and leaders are fallible, broken and inclined towards stupidity, pride and cluelessness (Romans 3:23). Because leaders are in the process of working out their salvation with fear and trembling (like all Christians) they need grace as well as prayer (Philippians 2:12). This does not mean a spiritual leader is above correction or redirection. There are times when leaders need to be corrected and should be corrected. That said, if we want to facilitate healthy change (and avoid the sin of pride) we must recognize the reality that no human (leader or follower) will ever be perfect or do things perfectly. Our expectation for spiritual leaders should not be perfection but rather a teachable spirit and a desire to become better and more Christlike (Proverbs 9:9, Proverbs 10:8).    

 Ask questions and seek to understand (Proverbs 12:18)-

 Many confrontations with leaders are a result of decisions people did not like or understand. It’s critical we recognize sometimes leaders make decisions based on information the rest of the congregation simply doesn’t have. Therefore, it is imperative we ask questions with an attitude of humility before we assume we understand why things are being done the way they are being done.

 Figure out if there is something deeper driving you before you confront-

 Sometimes a pastor or spiritual leader will rub us the wrong way for reasons that really and truly have nothing to do with them or their leadership. Sometimes we will reject a new leader because we really loved the style and personality of the old leader and what we really want is to get our old leader back. Other times a leader will irritate us because they remind us of a family member we have unresolved issues with. It’s unfair and unkind to project our weird junk onto others. Therefore, it’s imperative that we examine our hearts and our attitudes before we begin a conversation.

 Pray before you do or say anything-

 Pray like crazy. Begin with praying for yourself before you pray for the leader. Ask God to reveal any weird and/or destructive attitudes/motivations you have that may be driving the desire to confront. Ask for wisdom (James 1:5). Most critically,  pray everyone’s heart (including yours) will be open to healing the relationship and ready to receive truth.

 Say what needs to be said without assigning motives-

 No one but God knows why anyone does what they do. Therefore, it is critical that we be very careful about accusing people of doing things out of motives that we do not know for an absolute fact they have (Proverbs 3:7). Always stick to discussing the issues while being careful to leave discerning the motives to God.

And finally:

 Do not write a letter. Seriously. I know I just lost some people because not writing a letter or email feels counterintuitive to a lot of Christians. However, it’s important to understand leaders get a LOT of letters and letters tend to feel like an ambush rather than an adult conversation. A text is a great way to arrange a meeting and it might be helpful for you to write down your thoughts and concerns before you go into a meeting.  There is nothing wrong with taking notes into a meeting. That said, letters are a one-way conversation that offer zero opportunity for the other person to explain their side or defend themselves and their decisions. As a result, letters without a followup breed resentment and hurt with the receiver.   If you absolutely must send a letter then arrange for a face-to-face followup when you send it so the other person can have their say in the matter (Proverbs 18:17, John 7:51). If you aren’t ready to meet with the person face-to-face you probably shouldn’t be sending a letter.

Keep praying until you are because the church should be a place of healing. 

Is the Bible Mean?

Lisa M. Price1 Comment

The Word (Jesus) became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth~ John 1:14 NKJV

 It’s been a long, miserable week in the the Pacific Northwest. Most of our region is literally on fire right now and the city I live in is so smoky and gross the whole house smells like we’ve been barbecuing in the basement. The local health department has officially classified the air quality as “hazardous”.

 The heat, smoke and air quality left me feeling more than a little unmotivated. As a result I found myself struggling to come up with a topic for this weeks blog-post. Inspiration came early Tuesday morning when I opened Facebook and ran across what I felt at the time was a rather innocuous quote from Bible teacher, Beth Moore…    

 You will watch a generation of Christians—OF CHRISTIANS—set the Bible aside in an attempt to be more like Jesus. And stunningly it will sound completely plausible. This will be, perhaps, the cleverest of all the devil’s schemes in your generation. Sacrifice truth for love’s sake, you will rise or fall whether you will sacrifice one for the other.

  Beth Moore literally could not to be any more on point with her observations. The spiritual tension that exists between biblical truth and the culture’s definition of love is the greatest theological conundrum of our generation. I have believed for a long time that if the church doesn’t get its proverbial act together and figure out a way to communicate the truth concerning this critical issue, biblical Christianity will dwindle down to a tiny remnant within a generation.

Here’s the thing:

If we “go there”, the entire world will enter a spiritual and moral dark ages, the likes of which the world has not seen since the dawn of the Christian age.

 It was not Beth Moore’s words that got me spoiling for a smackdown. It was the absurd responses to her quote I found frustrating.  To my astonishment, most of those who commented disagreed with Beth Moore. Some vehemently. All the dissenters called her unloving and accused her of lacking compassion. A few even criticized her for making an idol out of the Bible.

 Seriously? Is that even a thing?

 Sadly, too many Christians have twisted love into something not found anywhere in Scripture.

 There are two truths we need to acknowledge concerning Jesus, love, and the Bible. First, we simply cannot separate the words of Jesus from the rest of the Bible. In the book of John, Jesus is referred to as The Word. By using that particular designation to describe Jesus, John is making a powerful statement about who Jesus is and how He fits into Scripture.

In John 1:1 the Apostle declares that Jesus is the personification and expression of all of the words of God. Jesus is the substance and incarnation of all that had been written in the Old Testament law and all that was to be written in the New Testament letters.

In a very real sense: Jesus is the Bible. 

 This means that the statements Jesus made in the gospels (the red letters that contemporary Christians get all wound-up about) are no more or less significant than the Old Testament Law and the New Testament letters. Jesus is the perfecter of our faith and the author of ALL of Scripture. Not just the Scripture we feel comfortable with or those that reflect our current cultural values and sensibilities (Hebrews 12:2, 2nd Timothy 3:16, Luke 24:27).

 Jesus fulfilled the ceremonial requirements of the law and we no longer live in a theocracy, so as 21st century Christians we no longer sacrifice animals to have our sins forgiven (Jesus took care of that for us) or follow the civil laws that were given specifically to the nation of Israel. However, that doesn’t mean that the entire Old Testament should be tossed out because much of the Old Testament FEELS unloving to contemporary readers and modern readers like to lean on their own understanding of reality rather than revealed truth (Proverbs 3:5-6)

 The second truth we need to understand is that the good news of the gospel is wrapped up in a lot of really bad news. The good news is that God loves people so much that He sacrificed His only son so that we could be forgiven and spend eternity with God (John 3:16).

 The bad news for us is that God is a holy and perfect and He really hates sin. God decided before the foundation of the earth was laid what actions are and are not sinful. He has not modified or relaxed His standards on those issues. The penalty for for sin is awful: eternity in hell forever separated from God and all that is comforting and good. All people are sinners who cannot under any circumstances get right with God and be forgiven unless they are willing to leave their life of sin and follow Jesus wherever he leads (John 8:11, Mark 8:34).

 Those are two truths we must be honest about as we share the love of God with people. When we don’t tell the whole truth about life and sin and eternity we are really telling a lie that will eventually lead to the spiritual death of those we claim to love.

 There’s nothing loving about that.