If you Want to be Like Jesus do This one Thing-

If you, Lord, keep account of sins Lord, who can stand? But with you is forgiveness and so you are revered- Psalm 130:3-4 NABRE  

Christianity is more than just a get out of hell free card. 

Ultimately, Christianity is the path to looking like and acting like Jesus (Romans 12:2, 2nd Corinthians 3:18). 

 When we put our faith and trust in Jesus, God forgives our sins and removes our guilt and shame (Psalm 103:12). In return Jesus’ goodness and righteousness is credited to us (Romans 4:5, James 2:23). When God sees us, He no longer sees the horrible, awful things we’ve done. Instead, He sees the righteousness of Jesus. Imputation of righteousness is the fancy-pants theological term for this incredibly beautiful exchange (2nd Corinthians 5:17) 

However. 

 We don’t wake up the day after our salvation experience looking and acting like a little Jesus. In fact, most of us wakeup the day after our salvation experience feeling somewhat different but with all the same problems, attitudes and behaviors we had pre-Jesus. The only difference is now we feel bad about those things instead of simply accepting them as a standard part of our operating system. 

That’s where sanctification comes in.  Sanctification is the lifelong process of becoming like Jesus (1st Corinthians 6:11, 1st Thessalonians 4:3). Paul called this process “working out your salvation” (Philippians 2:12-13).  We become sanctified (holy) by letting go of old behaviors that are normal part of our human nature and taking on new behaviors and attitudes that imitate Jesus (Colossians 3:5-14, Ephesians 4:1-3, Galatians 5:16-26).

  One critical step in the sanctification process is learning to forgive like Jesus forgave.  

 Forgiveness is hard. It is, perhaps, the hardest part of becoming like Jesus. It just kind of goes against the grain of our human nature to forgive wrongs committed against us. However, forgiveness is absolutely essential because we are never more like Jesus than when we are actively choosing to forgive (Psalm 103:2-4, Isaiah 1:18). In order to forgive we have to get past the notion forgiveness is something we do for other people. Most of the time, the people we forgive will never even know we forgave them. Forgiving others is something we do for our own spiritual, psychological and emotional well-being. Corrie Ten Boom spent nearly a year of hell in Ravensbruck concentration camp. She later said this about forgiveness: 

Forgiveness is the key that unlocks the door of resentment and the handcuffs of hatred. It is a power that breaks the chains of bitterness and the shackles of selfishness.

God longs for His people to be free of resentment, bitterness and selfishness because freedom is what transforms us into the image of Jesus and prepares us to do the ministry He has for us (Ephesians 2:10, Colossians 4:17).  

 Forgiveness is a process, not an event. In order to forgive we must:

 Understand the call to forgive-  

Forgiveness is not an optional activity or something we get to do when we feel like it.  Our willingness to forgive others is closely connected to God forgiving us and directly affects the level of freedom and joy we feel as Christians (Matthew 6:15, Luke 6:38, Luke 7:36-47).   

Acknowledge the genuineness of the offense-  

Unfortunately, forgiveness is rarely as easy as simply saying the words “I forgive you”. This might work in situations only involving minor hurts or social slights, however, in the case of a big hurt or a massive injustice this simply will not work. Instead, it is absolutely critical we acknowledge the wrong we suffered rather than attempting to stuff or pretend it was nothing. This means taking some time to process through the hurt we experienced in prayer and with a trusted Christian friend, a wise pastor or Christian counselor (Proverbs 11:14). Because some hurts are significant and not everyone we need to forgive is remorseful, God does not command us to be besties with the people we forgive. We are only called to forgive.  

Own our part (if there is one)- 

Oftentimes (but not always) we bear a certain level of responsibility for what went wrong in a relationship or a situation. “Our part” might be as basic as refusing to address issues and problems when they first came up (which always leads to more issues and problems) or as complicated as being complicit in a sinful relationship or situation.  Jesus is clear: truth sets us free (John 8:32). Telling ourselves and God (and in some cases the other people involved) the truth about our part in a situation will keep us firmly in God’s grace and go a long way in freeing us from the prison of bitterness (James 5:16, 1st John 1:8-10, Hebrews 12:15) 

Remember how much we have been forgiven- 

Forgiveness is easier when we are real with ourselves about our own level of sinfulness. We may not have done the awful thing that was done to us, but we all do and have done awful things (Romans 3:23). Recognizing this uncomfortable reality keeps us from becoming bloated with pride and it makes it much easier to forgive others (Psalm 51:10-17) 

And finally: 

The essence of genuine forgiveness is completely letting go of the right we have to punish and hate those who hurt us (Romans 12:19). This is the hardest of all the hard things and it simply cannot not be done without dedicated, intensive and repetitive prayer. Letting go of hate is hard because in a very real sense we all have a “right” to hold people’s sins against them, just like God has the right to hold our sins against us. Nonetheless, God in His infinite kindness chose to be merciful and forgive our sins when we were least deserving of forgiveness (Romans 5:7-8). 

 Can we do any less?     

How do we Become Healthier more Self-Aware Christians?


Examine
 yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you—unless, of course, you fail the test? 2nd Corinthians 13:5 NIV

Christianity is not a faith based on a bunch of rules we follow in order to get God to like us (Matthew 22:37-40). 

Consequently,

There are grey areas in Christianity.

Although, the term “grey area” is not found anywhere in the Bible. Instead, the apostle Paul tells us that all things are permissible (meaning things not forbidden in Scripture). Nonetheless, many of those “permissible” things are not beneficial to our souls or supportive to our growth (1st Corinthians 10:23-33, 1stCorinthians 6:12). 

This basically means there are things Christians can do that we should be really careful about doing (if we do them at all). A classic example would be alcohol use. It is not sinful to use alcohol. However, there are numerous warnings concerning alcohol that should cause all Christians who use alcohol to put some serious guardrails around its use (Proverbs 23:21, Proverbs 20:1, Romans 13:13, Ephesians 5:18) 

Conversely.

There are a lot of things Christians don’t have to do—things not commanded in Scripture that we ought to at least consider making a regular practice of doing, simply because those things help us grow.  

Handling the grey areas of the faith well is all about practicing wisdom. It’s about having the foresight to seek the Lord for direction and going above and beyond to do life His way (Proverbs 3:5-6). We don’t do these things in a legalistic attempt to earn God’s love. We cannot earn something that’s already been freely given (John 3:16). Instead, we choose to live honorably as a way of saying “thank you” for what we have graciously been given (Ephesians 4:1).

One thing Christians are not commanded to do, that we should probably consider doing is what I call a “personal self-check”. The apostle Paul calls self-checks: self-examination (2nd Corinthians 13:5). 

Self-checks are one of the “what’s” of the faith. 

God wants us to do self-checks because frequent self-checks lead to self-awareness. Self-awareness protects us from falling into patterns of behavior that eventually lead to sin. Without frequent self-checks we run the risk of having “a Nebuchadnezzar moment” where we are warned about our sin but refuse to see our sin or refuse to own our sin despite God’s warning and ample time to repent. Anytime we willfully choose the Nebuchadnezzar route, we receive all the possible consequences of our sin rather than God’s mercy (Romans 1:24-32). The full penalty is always a world of hurt for us and the people closest to us (Daniel 4:4-24).

Sigh. 

A self-check is just a series of questions we ask are ourselves on a regular basis. My personal self-check questions are all designed to keep me on the straight and narrow by forcing me to think about my life holistically rather than in just pieces and parts.  

They are as follows:

Am I in the faith?

Being in the faith is about more than praying a sinner’s prayer “once a upon a time”. It’s also about more than church attendance. One can attend church and even lead a church and still be very much outside the faith (Matthew 7:22-24). When we are “in the faith” we seek God on a daily basis, we actively seek to disentangle ourselves from sinful attitudes and behaviors. Being in the faith means going out of our way to shore up the weak areas in our spiritual lives. Lastly, those in the faith make church and friendships with other believers a priority (Hebrews 10:25, James 5:16, 1st John 1:7, 2nd John 1:5). 

What do my relationships look like?  

The state of our closest relationships is oftentimes an indicator of our spiritual health. If our life is strewn with relationships that have been damaged or broken due to our willful sin, selfishness, rudeness or lying. We have a problem that needs immediate attention or our Nebuchadnezzar moment may be right around the corner (Proverbs 11:3, Hebrews 12:14, 1st Peter 2:17, Ephesians 5:21-22, Ephesians 5:25-28, Ephesians 6:4).

Am I walking in integrity? 

The best and most basic definition of integrity is being the same person all the time. People with integrity are not chameleons who adapt to fit into whatever situation they happen find themselves in (Proverbs 10:9). Integrity is closely linked to fear of the Lord (Proverbs 1:7). If we truly believe God is who He says He is and will do what He says He will do. Then we will do our level best to stay within the lines He has drawn for us. If we don’t we won’t.  

Is there any area of my life I’m hiding from God or other people?  

If there is a part of our life we feel we need to keep on the down-low we most definitely have a problem that requires our immediate attention. Openness and honesty are the hallmarks of a holy, God-fearing people (Romans 13:12). 

What does my thought life look like? 

Our thoughts determine our actions and our actions determine the course of our life (Matthew 15:18-20, Mark 7:20-22, Ephesians 2:3, Hebrews 3:1). Therefore, every Christian ought to pay attention to what types of thoughts routinely flit through their head. If we frequently think mean, lustful, judgy, angry or greedy thoughts we need to spend some time asking the Lord what’s at the root of these attitudes. Then we need ask God to reorder our thoughts and give us the mind of Christ (1st Corinthians 2:16, Romans 15:5-6).

The “what” of daily spiritual self-checks are absolutely critical to our spiritual health in our broken sin-sick world. Self-checks keep our hearts soft towards God, our relationships with other people healthy and our lives free from the spiritual and moral drift that does us in (Hebrews 2:1)

What Do the Election Results tell us?

Therefore, with minds that are alert and fully sober, set your hope on the grace to be brought to you when Jesus Christ is revealed at his coming– 1st Peter 1:13 NIV

Okay, so a couple of things:

First, just in case you happened to be on another planet for the last five months or so and missed it, there was a mid-term election last week. 

It was kind of a big deal. 

Second, I’m fairly conservative in my political views. I am not conservative because I believe baby Jesus was born with a copy of the constitution in His teeny-tiny hand.  Nor, am I conservative because I believe a person must think a certain way politically in order to become a Christian. I am a conservative because I tend to believe Jesus would be on the side of individual responsibility and personal accountability. Mostly, because responsibility and accountability lead to healthy outcomes and happy people. I also think Jesus would be on the side of life (because He created it) and I’m pretty sure He would be all-in when it comes to limiting the gender spectrum to male and female because it is the design he chose for this world (Genesis 1:27, Genesis 2:23-25)  

For most conservatives the election was a full-on bummer. It was not what we wanted, or prayed for. I know it could have been way worse. That said, it was still, objectively speaking, extremely discouraging. Who would have thought soaring inflation, layoffs, war, cultural chaos and four-dollar a gallon gas would not be punished at the ballot box? But it was not. 

Here’s the thing:

 Christians are commanded to make disciples (Matthew 28:18-20). One aspect of that command is a call to transform whatever culture we happen to be living in into a better, healthier, more Christ-like version of itself. Because that’s the call, we probably ought to spend some time thinking about this election and what it says about the current state of affairs in this country. We also need to figure out God wants us do about that state of affairs.

So here goes:

It is becoming increasingly more clear that we are living in a post-Christian society. The values Christians have traditionally held dear are no longer a part of the greater cultural narrative.   One illustration of this reality is abortion. Fox News conducted a massive exit poll post-election. Their goal was to discover what issues motivated voters this election cycle. The number one answer was the economy. However, abortion was a very close second. It was pro-abortion supporters who swung the election.   

 This means a large portion of our society cares more about keeping abortion legal than they do about their own economic well-being and future prosperity (Leviticus 18:21, Jeremiah 32:35). Most lefty politicians voted in campaigned entirely on keeping abortion as available and unrestricted as possible. Love of abortion is not the only sign our civilization is in trouble. Violent crime against complete strangers is way up. Euthanasia is rapidly becoming a new normal and the possible benefits of infanticide are very much up for discussion. It will undoubtedly be offered as an option for new parents at local hospitals in the very near future.  

Yikes. 

 Our society is literally hurtling backwards in time towards pre-Christian, heathenish ethics. Most folks are motivated by their individual impulses rather than a desire to build a better future for their children and grandchildren. Our obsession with freedom could actually lead to our own extinction. Literally. A large portion of our population is doing everything possible to keep from reproducing and it could be our downfall.  Human beings are becoming more and more savage as our society has begun to value personal freedom over personal responsibility. Our infatuation with freedom will inevitably lead to less actual autonomy. Governments will step in to control people if they cannot or will not control themselves (Romans 13:4). 

Sigh. 

All that being said. The current chaos could turn out to be a good thing. The culture will likely get worseSometimes bad is better. Hard times cause people to think. Whereas prosperity tends to lead to greater acceptance of whatever the cultural norms are and God knows we don’t need any more acceptance of the current cultural norms.  

So, what is a Christian to do? 

First. 

As strangers living in a strange land (and that’s what Christians are) we must do our level best to live within God’s design for the human race (Genesis 1:27, Hebrews 11:13-16, 1st Peter 1:1-2). Christians should get married, have a bunch of kids, work out their problems and stay married. They should also buy houses, build healthy community and strive to be the kindest, most generous people in their cities and towns (Jeremiah 29:4-8). Living joyfully, well and within the boundaries of God’s design is the first step in “making disciples” in our messy, godless, death obsessed culture.

Then. 

We must be prepared to explain to our friends and neighbors the reasons why we do what we do (1st Peter 3:15). We need to pray like crazy for wisdom and power and boldness. Then we need to open our mouths and tell anyone who will listen about Jesus and the hope He brings to even the most messy and shattered lives. We need to give the world the hope we have received and trust our merciful and good God to bring about the change we need.

How do we Stay Hopeful in a Clearly Unjust and Unfair World?

  There are those who turn justice into bitterness and cast righteousness to the ground- Amos 5:7 NIV

  I have been spending my elliptical time listening to The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill. The podcast chronicles more than just Mars Hill Church in Seattle. It tells the story of numerous leaders within the mega-church movement. The first-hand accounts of the people damaged by the pride, questionable doctrine and a longing for celebrity endemic within the movement left me grieving for the body of Christ. The unjust and sometimes even evil actions of a few have forever sullied the name of Jesus and caused many to leave the church.  

This morning when I turned on the news the first story I saw was about a mother whose soldier son was killed in the military withdrawal from Afghanistan. The woman is angry about the death of her son.  Very angry. She is frustrated with how the governing authorities have handled every sordid detail of the withdrawal. So, she did what many of us do in 2021 when we are angry and frustrated. She got on social media and vented her anger. Her evaluation of the situation was censored by the social media platform and shoved down the memory hole. This is wrong on a million different levels. A grief-stricken Mother should be permitted to vent her anger. The people in charge should own their mistakes and the memory hole should be forever left on the pages of George Orwell’s 1984.  

These are not the only examples of injustice and evil in our world. They are just two of at least a million possible examples out there. Injustice and evil have become ubiquitous. Truth is routinely twisted and lies have become so routine that in some situations it is really hard to know what’s actually true. We live in a time where good is called evil and evil is called good (Isaiah 5:20). 

Our brave new world can leave even mature Christians feeling angry and bitter about bad leadership and lack of justice. Christ-followers are instructed to avoid the sin of bitterness at all costs (Hebrews 12:15, Ephesians 4:31), because it inevitably leads to attitudes and actions that have the power to defile every person in our circle of influence.  

There is no easy way to avoid feeling bitter towards unjust leaders.  However, there are four things we can do that will help us avoid bitterness if we do them routinely: 

Remember nothing escapes God’s observation- 

Because God is merciful He does not punish every sin or sinner in real time (2nd Peter 3:9). This can sometimes make it look and feel like God is unaware of injustice or that He doesn’t care about evil. If we believe that lie we will either become bitter towards God and the world or we will join in with the sinners and sin our heads off. Doing either of those things will cause us to quickly lose our ability to be salt and light (Matthew 5:13-16, Matthew 3:10). If enough Christians lose their ability to be salt and light the brokenness and evil in this world will win. The key to staying both holy and hopeful in these times is to remember that the Bible does promise that there will come a day when God will deal decisively with sin and those who have caused other people to sin (Mark 9:42, Romans 2:9-10, Revelation 20:11-15). 

Be the person this world needs right now- 

Seriously. Just do it. Be the person who stands up for the subjugated, who fights obvious injustice and loves without limits. Love and righteousness are transformative in culture and in relationships. Acting justly, loving mercy and walking humbly with God is the key to a living a life God blesses (Psalm 11:7, Proverbs 21:15, Micah 6:8)

Don’t give into the temptation to be vengeful- 

Vengeance can take many forms that don’t include acts of physical violence. It can take the form of rude verbal or written retaliation (my biggest personal issue, sigh.). Vengeance can also include things like refusing to pray for or do good things for people we view as our enemies (Matthew 5: 38-41, Matthew 5:44).  Jesus directly commands us to pray for and do good to those who do us wrong. Refusing to obey Jesus always leads to hardness of heart that leads to both more sin and more personal misery. 

Pray-

Okay, I get it, encouraging people to pray while the world goes to hell in a hand cart sounds trite and feels like a copout. Prayer is anything but a copout. Prayer transforms circumstances. I do not know or understand all the particulars on how all of that works but it does work. Prayer also transforms our hearts. Prayer, if it’s done consistently and in faith gives the person praying an awareness of God’s presence.  Awareness of God’s presence always leads to a love for others and a sense of hope for the future. 

Life is tough right now. Goodness, righteousness and justice are in short supply. The good news about dark times is it makes it much easier for our light to shine but we have to let it.

How Christians can be an Influence in the age of Cancel Culture-

When I stumbled, they gathered in glee; assailants gathered against me without my knowledge. They slandered me without ceasing– Psalm 35:15 NIV 

It was a bewildering week. 

First, it looked as if Dr. Seuss was the latest target of “cancel culture”. Then I was told this was simply not so.  Forbes and Newsweek reported Seuss Enterprises had simply “evolved” and chosen to stop publishing six of Dr. Seuss’ books due to “racist undertones”. It was clear: only unenlightened buffoons too dumb to grasp the nuances of the situation actually believed Dr. Seuss was being canceled. 

However.  

 President Biden did not mention Dr. Seuss or any of his books in his kickoff speech for National Read Across America Day. Which was unusual considering it usually coincides with the celebration of Dr. Seuss’ birthday on March 2nd. Then Amazon stopped selling Dr. Seuss books. Additionally, a number of school districts and libraries made it clear they would no longer use his books.  On top of all that a number of commentators have been quite busy throwing shade on the memory of Dr. Seuss.  

I’m no expert, but I’m pretty sure this means Dr. Seuss got cancelled. 

Sigh. 

For the record: I do not have an issue with individuals who choose NOT to purchase products from companies or individuals whose values or business practices do not jive with their own values. Quietly choosing not to buy products from businesses who use your funds to promote causes that tear down the values you hold dear is not the same as cancelling someone. 

It’s called “wise stewardship”. 

Cancelling is a relatively new practice. It takes the concept of a boycott to a level not seen in polite society since the Salem Witch trials. Cancelling is when a very public effort is made to thoroughly disgrace a person, remove their influence entirely, obstruct their ability to make a living and ruin their reputation. The cancelling is not complete until any good the person has done in this world is completely disavowed and then forgotten. The quickest way to get cancelled is to publicly support conservative ideas or not be “woke” enough. It is also possible to get canceled for espousing racist or sexist opinions. However, it should be noted standards on these issues are constantly evolving. Speech regarded as perfectly acceptable today may very well be deemed unacceptable tomorrow.  

Sigh. 

Anyone can get cancelled. Historical figures like Abraham Lincoln, George Washington, Dr. Seuss and Teddy Roosevelt have all been victims of cancel culture. Some well-known actors and actresses, the My Pillow guy and some random people who said racist things on camera when they were too young to know better have also all become unwitting victims of cancelling madness. Nor, is being cancelled limited to actual human beings. Pepe le Pew (a cartoon skunk), Peter Pan (a fictional character), and Dumbo the Elephant (another cartoon character) all found themselves on the old chopping block this past week.  

Those who endorse cancel culture obviously don’t understand that standards of what is socially acceptable change over time. They also fail to grasp the reality that social growth is almost always made in small increments that tend to build on previous small increments of social change. Smart people understand that historic figures and even fictional characters should always be judged in the context of the time they lived in or were created rather than by current values. For example, by contemporary norms the fifteenth century church reformer Martin Luther was a chauvinist-jerk-pig-idiot who should be roundly condemned for espousing sexist positions. However, in his time he was thought to be a flaming-liberal-hell bound-heretic because he argued equal education should be given to little girls. His belief that young girls were capable of understanding theology and should therefore be given the same education as boys was radical at the time. Girls receiving and education was also an incremental social change that paved the way for women’s rights in the Western world. By twenty-first century standards Martin Luther was a sexist loser. In actuality he was an incredibly open-minded, insanely progressive product of his time. 

Anyway.

It’s not my job to judge the culture. God will do that in due time (Galatians 6:7, 1st Corinthians 4:5, Revelation 20:12-13). It is my God-given calling to encourage Christians to live in a way that glorifies God and points unbelievers towards repentance and eternal life. The weird cultural moment we find ourselves in demands Christians live radically different lives than the rest of society. It is critical we avoid the harsh, judgmental tone culture has adopted and gently remind people that ultimately, we will all be judged by the same standards we place on others (Matthew 7:2). We must constantly remind our friends, neighbors and co-workers that God, the most powerful, purest being whoever existed or who will ever exist did not choose to cancel or condemn anyone for their evil behavior, sin or mistakes. Even though He would have been entirely justified in doing so. Instead God offers us redemption and grace through the death of His son. All He asks is that we believe in Him and offer others the same grace and mercy we have been freely given.  

That message would effectively end cancel culture forever. 

What Gets us through the Tough Stuff of Life with our Faith in Tact?

We sent Timothy, who is our brother and co-worker in God’s service in spreading the gospel of Christ, to strengthen and encourage you in your faith, so that no one would be unsettled by these trials. For you know quite well that we are destined for them- 1st Thessalonians 3:2-3 NIV

 There are three fundamental truths Christians must embrace in order to be holy, healthy and honest:

 Life is hard.

God is good even when life is hard.

When life is hard it doesn’t feel like God is good.

 Most Christians readily agree with truths one and three. However, many Christians (including myself), struggle to fully embrace truth two all the time. This hypothesis is backed up by an increasing number of Christians who have “deconstructed” their faith in an emotional moment and then turned their backs on God because life got hard or other Christians disappointed them.

Some who walk away from Christianity are spiritual snowflakes. These folks truly believe an unkind comment on social media is a brutal form of persecution.  Deep down in their heart-of-hearts they think God is lucky to have them on His team and they are too special to suffer. When life gets just a little bit tougher than they are comfortable with they melt under the heat of adversity, get miffed at God and stop being Christians. Spiritual snowflakes are easy to spot:they tend to carry their snow-flakiness into other areas of their lives including relationships. They’re quick to take offense and get their feelings hurt. They readily abandon anything that challenges them in any way.

 Then,

 There are individuals who turn their backs on God after experiencing legitimately horrific situations. They lost a child or had a loved-one murdered or lived through horrible abuse of some sort. The folks in this category all came up against a situation they couldn’t find a reasonable answer for and they simply determined they could not live the Christian life without that answer. So, they turned away from God either in anger or unbelief.

 The two groups are vastly different in nearly every way and one group is far more worthy of  compassion than the other. However, both groups share a common problem that has become endemic in Christianity.  

 They lack a theology of suffering.  

 Theology is not just for bookworm-y types of Christians. Theology is the most practical thing in the world. It is one-hundred-percent necessary to survive this life with our faith intact. Theology explains life and how God uses the stuff of life to accomplish His purposes in our lives.  Every believer in Jesus must have a solid theological grid to view life through; if they don’t they will never be able to effectively explain to themselves and others why they are experiencing the things they are experiencing.  

  One reason Christians lack theology in this area is because life is easier now than it has ever been before in human history.

 Think about it:

 Thanks to the miracle of central heat and air no one is ever too hot or too cold, unless, of course, they are freely participating in an activity that demands they be too hot or too cold. Just a hundred-years ago, most people spent the majority of their lives in a state of perpetual discomfort. Today, it is unheard of for people in the Western world to experience hunger unless they are attempting to lose weight. Even just a hundred years ago famine was still a reality even for much of the “developed” world. Illnesses that once wiped-out large portions of the human population have been controlled or eradicated with drugs, surgery and public health programs. It wasn’t that long ago when it was simply accepted fact that most mothers would not see all their children live to adulthood.

 This progress is undeniably awesome. However, improved living conditions have raised our expectations for happiness to a level that cannot always be met. Truth-be-told most of us (including me) feel entitled to be comfortable, healthy, happy and entertained all of the time. We tend to get a bit cranky with God when life is anything less than perfectly pleasant.

 A couple of theological facts:

 First, we live in a fallen world that is not fully redeemed (Romans 8:19-22). This simply means that no matter how good humans get at making the world a comfortable place to live we will never be completely free of adversity and tragedy (John 16:33). Secondly, Christians probably experience more difficulty and hardship than non-Christians. This is because God is relentlessly working to conform us into the image of Jesus (Romans 8:29, 2nd Corinthians 3:18).  This is no easy task and apparently it requires some hardship to get the job done (James 1:2, 1st Peter 1:6-7, Revelation 2:9-10).  Furthermore, we have an enemy who is personally invested in seeing our faith in God crumble (1st Peter 1:8, Job 1:6-8, 1st Thessalonians 2:18). On top of all of that life is full of tests (Luke 4:1, 2nd Corinthians 13:5, 1st Thessalonians 2:4, Hebrews 11:17, James 1:12). God does not test us so He can find out where we are at. He already knows everything there is to know about us. However, God sometimes allows us to be tested so we will know where we’re at so we can make changes that lead to growth.

 Finally,

 In order to develop a theology that takes us through the tough stuff of life we must change HOW we view the Christian life: Someday we will dwell in heaven. When we get there there will be no more tears, sickness, longing, pain or evil (Revelation 21:1-7). Life will be perfect and we will be perfect. We aren’t there yet. At this point in the story we are soldiers in a war living an in-between (Philippians 2:25, 2nd Timothy 2:3-4, Philemon 1:1-2) where we are fighting for the hearts and minds of our fellow human beings (Ephesians 6:10-20) and our own growth. Wars are messy and painful.  In order to survive the war we must treat God as our source of safety and run to Him in times of trouble, suffering and difficulty instead of away from Him (Proverbs 18:10, 1st Peter 5:7). 

 

How Should a Christian Respond to the Gender Spectrum?

Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them- Genesis 1:26a-27 NIV

Like every human over the age of forty, I have witnessed a great deal of change over my lifetime. Some of these changes have been wonderful, others meh and some others have been simply awful. It’s fair to say that no area of human society has seen more change in the last two decades than the areas of gender and sexual expression.

Back in the day, there were men and woman.

Those two options pretty much covered the scope and scale of the gender spectrum. A man might have wished he was a woman or dressed like a woman but all of society would have agreed that if a human was born with a penis that was all the evidence needed to declare the person a man.  There were women who impersonated men but it never occurred to anyone that a woman behaving like a man might actually be a man. How one chose to express their sexuality (gay, straight, bi-sexual) had no bearing on whether or not a person was male or female. Gender was determined by this thing called biology. 

Biology is so 1955.

There is now a whole gender spectrum to choose from. Among the plethora of options, one can now be male, female, androgynous, transgender, gender queer, non-binary, gay, straight, bi-sexual, pansexual, asexual, gay trans, bi-sexual-trans, binary trans, gender questioning and gender fluid. 

Sigh. 

For all sorts of really rational reasons average Christians have struggled to address this issue in a logical, respectful and kind way. It’s a difficult issue to wrap our minds around. Further complicating the whole messy muddle any objection to or questioning of the gender spectrum is perceived by most non-Christians and some Christians as transphobic, homophobic, regressive and mean. Consequently, Christians have either ignored the problem altogether, avoided discussing it outside of Christian circles or ridiculed the whole situation openly. Regrettably, none of the aforementioned strategies actually do anything to help Christians act as salt and light in our increasingly confused and broken world (Matthew 5:13-16). 

Ephesians 6:14 commands Christians to stand against evil ideas. In order to do that we have to understand from a biblical perspective what’s wrong with a particular philosophy and where it will likely lead us. 

The gender spectrum is clearly one of the Satanic schemes the Bible warns us about (Ephesians 6:11, 1st Peter 5:8). The notion that there is a gender smorgasbord out there with dozens of different options from which to choose from is an assault on God’s design. It is also a direct contradiction to God’s assertion that He created human beings as male and female only (Genesis 1:27). Among other things, this particular assault is intended to generate doubt concerning the goodness and truthfulness of God in the minds of people who are struggling with questions regarding sex, sexuality and gender. It’s critical we remember Satan has been planting doubt concerning the goodness and truthfulness of God since the dawn of the human race (Genesis 3:1) 

Human beings were made for connection with God (Genesis 3:8). It’s inherent in our design. Because most in our culture have rejected the Creator gender identity and sexuality have become a strange form of religious expression for those who have spurned belief in God (Romans 1:24-32). This explains the peculiar post-modern practice of folks introducing themselves by stating their name, sexual orientation and gender identity. Sexuality and gender give their life meaning and is where they find their identity. 

This turn of events ought to break our hearts because it breaks God’s heart, It should not drive us to despair or hateful rhetoric. Rather, we should be overwhelmed with grief for a generation that has lost its way morally, spiritually and sexually. There are six practical things Christians can do to help lead our culture come back to a healthier understanding of sexuality and gender and back into right relationship with God. 

We must:

Love our neighbors- 

We should look for ways to love everyone, even those super messy people who freak us out a little bit. We must search for ways to engage people who are different from us. The engagement must be done in a spirit of both truth and love. It helps no one when we bend our beliefs to placate the culture. That being said, people need to know there is God who loves them beyond measure who wants to free them from the spiritual and sexual bondage they’ve gotten themselves into.   

Pray for revival-

It almost goes without saying our world has problems that cannot and will not be solved using human methods. We have fallen too far down the proverbial rabbit hole. We supernatural intervention. Stat. Prayer is the only way to get the intervention we need (Ephesians 6:18, 1st Thessalonians 5:17). Prayer has the power to transform unbelievers and give believers the spiritual power needed to love the lost and hurting. Christians are commanded to make a practice of praying for everyone all the time. If your church has a regularly scheduled prayer time, go and pray. If your church does not have a scheduled prayer time consider starting one in your home. Invite your friends and begin by praying for revival. When people truly get right with God their view of gender and sexuality will align with what the Bible says about these issues.  

Model healthy families-

It has never been more critical for Christians to have healthy, functional family units. The world needs to see families where men protect and nurture their wives and children and where women respect their husbands and make mothering children a priority.

Celebrate the differences between men and women-

God made men and women and different from each other. The diversity in the created order is a beautiful thing that deserves celebration because both men and women reflect the image of God in different ways (Genesis 1:27) Little boys should be told it’s a good and special thing to be a boy and little girls should be told it’s a beautiful thing to be made female. If we don’t the world will step in and tell them something different.

Stop being weird-

There are Christians who believe it is wrong for men to cook or do housework because it’s “not manly” and an “affront to God”.  Others believe that women should never work outside the home or attend college. There are still Christians who sincerely believe a woman should remain “under the authority “of her Father until she is married. These absurdly antiquated ideas are almost impossible to backup biblically without twisting Scripture and they make Christianity look really weird to non-Christians. Weird does nothing to further our cause.

Last but not least.

Christians must speak the truth with an attitude of love and grace. Admittedly, this is tricky and difficult. But it must be done. We simply have to find ways to engage people in hard conversations where we tell them the truth in loving tones and with a spirit of humility rather that self-righteousness (Ephesians 4:15). If we can do this we might have a shot of not just changing their minds on gender but also turning their hearts towards Jesus.

Five Things every Christian Ought to Think About Everyday-

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things~ Philippians 4:8 NIV

 I have been “cursed” with a temperament that tends to overthink just about everything. I also veer towards thinking a lot about a lot of different issues. There is literally no end to the number of random thoughts and ideas that flit through my head in a given day. Regrettably, I do not have a mind like a steel trap. As a result, most of those thoughts and ideas depart as quickly as they appear.

All that being said, occasionally someone will say something that will cause a random thought to take root and I will spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about a subject and that subject makes its way into a blog post. 

Such was the case this past week. 

 We have teenager in our home who states at least six times a day that she “just didn’t think” about something. The things the girl does not think about are things most people think about all the time without even realizing they are thinking about them. Her curiously vexing acknowledgement has gotten me thinking a great deal about the subject of thinking. More specifically, I have been thinking about how what we think about (or don’t think about) shapes who we become and what we do. In the NASB version of the Bible Proverbs 23:7 says that what a man thinks about he eventually becomes and Jesus further expresses the same idea in Mark 7:21 when He states that evil thoughts always precede evil behavior. 

 Very few (if any) Christians are inclined toward the kind of thinking that leads to openly evil behavior. Rather, most Christians tend towards the kind of wrong thinking that leads to misguided or incorrect behavior. The problem with misguided or incorrect behavior committed by Christians is that it almost always leads to a kind of passive evil that hurts people on an eternal level because it is done in the name of religion. The bottom line on this issue is that what Christians choose to think about matters. I came up with five random things I believe we should all think about on a regular basis because if we don’t we suffer and so does everyone else.  

Beginning with:   

People really can change-

The gospel (good news) of Jesus Christ is about far more than simply sidestepping an eternity spent in hell (although that message is definitely in there). The really good news of the gospel is that sinful, dirty, mucked-up human beings can be entirely transformed into new people with new desires and new attitudes when they put their faith and trust in Jesus Christ (Romans 12:2, 2ndCorinthians 3:18, 2ndCorinthians 5:17). When we forget this categorically startling truth it diminishes the churches power to transform the culture because we tend to sideline those Christians we deem less desirable due to their lack of education, past mistakes or upbringing. It also keeps individuals from personally seeking the radical transformation necessary for every Christian to reach their full potential in Jesus. 

God loves people we don’t love just as much as He loves us-

God loves all of us in spite of our idiocy, faults, weaknesses and inability to pull it together and get the job done. That means that God wants the ridiculous, bothersome, entirely not self-aware people in our lives to learn from their mistakes, grow in their relationships and become better people. He might even be using us to orchestrate those things in their lives. Keep this truth at the forefront of your mind next time another Christian starts to bug you.  

 Feelings are mostly wrong-

Recently, a real live human (a Christian) told me with a straight face that if they “felt that something was true their feelings made it true”. I will not lie, it took me a minute to recover my bearings. I am categorically unaccustomed to hearing that kind of bold-faced insanity being spoken aloud. Once I recovered, I quickly pointed out that two people can have opposing feelings about the exact same issue or situation.  When that kind of conflict develops it has to be an agreed upon set of facts that becomes the deciding factor in what is true. If any other standard becomes the norm we will devolve into moral and intellectual chaos.

Politics and religion are not equal-

I have some strong political views, most of them are solidly conservative. I try to base my views on biblical truth rather than my feelings or what our Western culture believes about a particular issue. However, even with those qualifiers my political views are not on the same level as my religious beliefs. We should be very careful about writing off other people based entirely on their political opinions. Rather, we should attempt to persuade those who think differently than we do with reason, grace and biblical truth. 

 And finally, mercy is way better than judgment, I am a truth person. This reality is demonstrated in the fact that every spiritual gifts’ test I have ever taken I consistently scored lowest on mercy. Every. Single. Time. Even the times I tried to cheat and game the test I still scored dead last on mercy.  I am not proud of this fact but it is a fact. I fought against this fact for years and tried desperately to be softer and squishier than the way God made me. It took me a while to realize that people like me add something necessary to the body of Christ. We keep the feelers from getting excessively feely and the mercy folks from handing out cheap grace like it was fun-size candy on Halloween. That being said, with God mercy always wins out over judgment (James 2:13) and if I want to be like Jesus I have to embrace the grace and mercy He came to give. 

Seven Things that Kill Romantic Love and Destroy a Marriage-


As charcoal to embers and as wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome person for kindling strife~ Proverbs 26:21 NIV

The benefits and blessings of a lasting marriage are just too innumerable to count.

In a healthy marriage we know another and are known by another in the deepest way possible in this life. In a healthy marriage we learn what both love and forgiveness look like. In a healthy Christian marriage we get to know Jesus a little better than we would have without the other person and the inevitable challenges marriage brings. 

All good things.

Besides the obvious and widely understood reasons for marriage failure (infidelity, selfishness, finances and in-law issues) most marriage failures are really just the sad result of a couple (well seven) behaviors and habits which always lead to a break in relationship. If broken relationships are not mended quickly and properly the end result is death of the relationship.

Those seven behaviors are:

Lies-

The ways humans can be deceitful are nearly infinite. They include (but are not limited to) hiding things, emotional affairs, fabricating stories, infidelity, not telling the whole story and helping children to hide sin from the other parent. All deceitfulness is sin (Exodus 20, Leviticus 19:11, Colossians 3:9) and sin poisons marriages. Commit to keeping it honest in your marriage. This commitment will undoubtedly force you to suffer through some uncomfortable moments of truth-telling but overall you will have a healthier, happier more rewarding relationship.  

Disrespect-

With all due respect (no pun intended) to Emerson Eggerichs, author of the wildly popular book Love and Respect, who has made gobs of money peddling his belief that women chiefly want to feel loved by their husbands while men care much more about feeling respect from their wives. Truth-be-told love simply cannot exist nor will it survive without respect for the other person being present in the relationship. Respect is an integral part of love. Romantic relationships lacking in mutual respect die ugly, horrifying deaths (1stPeter 2:17).  Furthermore, if you dig deep and ask questions of women you will find that even the most touchy-feely, girly-girl types of women need to FEEL respected in order to FEEL loved. We show our spouse respect by watching our words and being careful about the tone we use when speak to them. Husbands and wives who respect one another do not make decisions without consulting the other partner and they are always careful to speak well of their spouse to other people.  It is critical that both the husband and the wife endeavor to behave in a way that is respectful in order for marriages to go the distance (Titus 2:2, 1st Timothy 3:11). 

Addiction (especially pornography addiction) – 

I am convinced that at the heart of all addiction is the sin of idolatry. Once an addiction takes root in a person’s life the addict gets something from the addictive behavior that they should only get from God (a sense of wellbeing, relief from stress, comfort, peace). Because idolatry is a serious sin, God cannot bless the relationships or life of someone who is willingly bowing down (metaphorically speaking) to a false god (Exodus 34:17,1st John 5:21). Pornography addiction compounds the whole messy mess because on top of the whole idolatry thing it is also the act of inviting a third party into a relationship designed by an all-knowing God only for two (Exodus 20:14, Hebrews 13:4). Even if the spouse is unaware of the pornography there will be spiritual and emotional consequences to viewing pornography. Intimacy will be compromised, walls will form and trust will be broken. These things can happen without the other person even understanding the nature of the problem. Just don’t. 

Lack of self-awareness on the part of one or both parties- 

Seriously. If a person is not aware of their own behavior and how their behavior is affecting other people they will never fix the problems in a relationship. Self-awareness comes through the practice of regular self-examination (1st Corinthians 11:28, 2nd Corinthians 13:5) and by looking for clues that we are loving our spouse in a way that makes them feel loved and cared for. 

Refusing to change-

No one knows it when they say “I do” but marriage is simply an invitation to change the attitudes and behaviors in our life that desperately need changing. For married people marriage is the tool God uses to reveal our selfishness, pride and relational shortcomings. If we respond to those revelations by changing our ways, marriage becomes the tool God uses to mold us into the people He wants us to be (Colossians 3:5-12). When we refuse to change the things in our life that cause us or others pain we are effectively refusing God and everything He wants to do in our lives. Refusing God never ends well (Hebrews 12:25).   

Unforgiveness-

“I forgive you” is more than just a syrupy sentiment or some empty words we utter to get the positive feels back into our relationship. Forgiveness is the choice to completely let go of hostility, resentment and the right to seek revenge for legitimate wrongs committed against us by another person. Forgiveness is without question the most arduous, gut wrenching, pride busting thing Christians are ordered to do (Matthew 6:15). It is also simply a fact that no marriage will survive without forgiveness (Colossians 3:13).

Expecting life to be fair and equal-

It won’t be, so the wise thing to do is to get over the notion everything should be fair and equal quickly (Luke 6:38). Marriage is never a fifty/fifty proposition. In a healthy marriage each partner is doing their best to give one hundred percent all the time but no one in the relationship EVER keeps score because scorekeeping always signals the beginning of the end of every marriage.  

I am convinced that even the most broken marriages can be healed if BOTH parties are willing to self-examine, humble themselves before God and their spouse, change their behavior and repent of their sins. God works powerfully through people and situations where there is a willingness to change and a heart willing to let go and forgive.

Six Weird Lies Christians Sometimes Believe-

Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free~ John 8:32 NIV

 Everyone hates a liar. 

It’s just true.

 The foulest heathen totally loses it when they discover that they have been deceived by a liar.

 Seriously.

 That being said, in a culture where obvious lies are routinely accepted as truth it is easy to forget just how bad lies really are. Satan himself is the architect of the whole concept of lying (John 8:44). It was a lie (and the choice to believe a lie) that caused the human race to become separated from God (Genesis 3:1-6). Ultimately, lies are at the root of idolatry, sexual immorality, murder, greed, selfishness and pretty much every other icky sin and form of foolishness man has managed to devise (Romans 1:25-32). Lies are by their very nature so hideously deceptive that most people who believe a lie actually believe that the lie is truth. Perhaps, the worst thing about lies is that when a person chooses to believe a lie they enter into spiritual and intellectual bondage (John 8:32). Because no one (in their right mind) voluntarily enters into bondage most people living in bondage to a lie have no idea they are even in bondage.

 Sigh.  

 Christians are not immune from believing lies all sorts of weird lies. Because we are God’s ambassadors (1stCorinthians 5:20) and because the most pernicious lies all have a spiritual component to them. The lies Christians believe make life and ministry much more difficult. Following are six lies Christians routinely believe:

 God doesn’t care about __________________________ anymore-

 Feel free to fill in the blank with whatever issue you (or someone you know) has decided God stopped caring about over the course of the last century. On one level, it actually makes sense that unbelievers would choose to think that God has somehow moderated His stance on issues like hatred, lust, adultery, greed, selfish-ambition, homosexuality and covetousness. Heathens have a vested interest in buying into that line of thinking. However, anytime Christians buy into this lie we lose our individual and cultural moral authority. Even a small loss of moral authority seriously hinders our ability to be obedient to the command to act as witnesses for Jesus (Acts 1:8). 

 Christians who grow-up in a Christian home are spiritually superior to those who grow-up with pagans or vice-versa –

 A lot of God’s people (including me) have bought into one version or another of this lie at some point in their Christian life.  Christians who come from a long line of Christians and Christians who grew up in the spiritual ghetto (metaphorically speaking) are the ones most likely to believe this lie but for entirely different reasons. The first group sometimes has issues with spiritual pride and self-reliance and the second doesn’t always have the faith to believe God can turn their mess into a message. Both lines of thinking are categorically wrong. God uses anyone willing to being used (Numbers 22:26-30).

 Deception and hypocrisy are not a problem as long as we keep it under the radar-

 I am convinced most Christians do not consciously choose to begin living a double life. It just kind of happens. One moral compromise leads to an another, coverups become a way of life and before they know it fakery, duplicity, and pretense are the new normal in their lives. Dishonest Christians hurt everyone because even unbelievers understand instinctively that Christians are called to live a life of honesty and openness.  When Christians choose hypocrisy and deception over sincerity and authenticity it quickly becomes painfully obvious the whole world and unbelievers judge God, the church and other Christians for the willful duplicity of a few (Numbers 32:2, Acts 5:1-10).   

 If I believe something to be true, it is-

 This is without question one of strangest lies to take root in the history of humanity, simply because it is so stinking easy to fact check. Nonetheless, most of the world has bought into the notion that truth is self-determined. Even many Christians have hopped on this bandwagon and believe that the GOD OF THE UNIVERSE should alter His opinions regarding homosexuality, adultery, premarital sex and dozens of other issues simply because lots of people feel differently than He does about those issues.  Sigh. It just doesn’t work like that. 

 Church is a waste of time-

 This clever lie is courtesy of the devil it keeps believers from reaching their full potential in Christ. Church does matter. It matters because it is one of the primary places we go to learn about God’s plan for our life. Church is also the place we learn to accept and love people who are different from us. Ideally it is where we got to encourage and be encouraged and where we grow mentally, spiritually and emotionally (1stThessalonians 5:11, Hebrews 3:13).

 My gifts are dumb/I don’t have any-

 This lie is perhaps Satan’s cleverest lie ever. It keeps good and gifted Christian people on the sidelines thinking the only gift they have to offer anyone is an occasional casserole brought to a potluck. This is simply not true. If a Christian is breathing God has a purpose for that person in the body of Christ (1stPeter 4:10, Romans 12:3-8). It’s up to each one of us to find those gifts and use them. 

Here’s the thing:

Living in a fallen world it’s all too easy to get tangled up in one lie or another, even for Christians. It’s knowing the truth and walking in the truth of Jesus that sets us free from lies (John 8:32).  The closer we walk with Jesus the less power lies have over us. 

It’s just true and one more really good reason to cling to Jesus.