Category: Bitterness

The Biblical Blueprint for Surviving a Painful Personal Betrayal-

Lisa M. PriceLeave a comment

Keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.  Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer- Romans 12:11b-12 NASB

Hurt and betrayal happen in this life.

Both are the sad but predictable outcome of living life in a fallen world (Genesis 3:16-19, Romans 5:12, John 16:33). 

Perhaps the most crushing hurt is the kind that occurs due to a personal betrayal. A personal betrayal can be defined as an event where someone we love and/or trust to do right by us does us terribly wrong. Infidelity, meanness, a falling-out, slander, deception and breaking a confidence are all common forms of personal betrayal.

  The biblical patriarch Joseph (Genesis 37-48) is the biblical poster child for surviving a nightmarish personal betrayal. Among a bunch of other personal calamities Joseph’s own brothers sold him into slavery.  There is no rational justification for their behavior.  Joseph was young and a bit full of himself, but he didn’t do anything awful enough to warrant that kind of treatment.  His brothers were just jealous jerks who lacked impulse control and basic human decency. Joseph’s story is a tough one to read but it gives us with a blueprint for dealing with the pain of betrayal in way that makes space for God to do big things in us and the people around us. In order to survive a personal betrayal, we must:

Do what God puts in front of us to do- 

Joseph could have become an angry person; he had every reason to be. He could have allowed his hurt, anger and depression to harden into bitterness and hate (Hebrews 12:15). No one would have blamed him. He could have curled up in a ball (metaphorically speaking) and just kind of tapped out of life. That reaction would have made sense. He didn’t do any of those things. Instead, he did what God put in front of him to do and he did it all really well (Colossians 3:23).  By making that hard choice, he prevented all the above-mentioned issues, and he changed the course of human history. Most of us will not do anything as historically dramatic as Joseph did. However, we will avoid bitterness, hate and depression if we choose to invest in our relationships, look for the good and honor God in whatever work He gives us to do in the midst of a betrayal. 

Understand the nature of the situation- 

In a very real sense, every betrayal is deeply spiritual (Ephesians 6:10-12). God does not cause people to betray us (Romans 5:12, 1st John 1:5, James 1:13, Romans 8;28). That said, personal pain is one of those things God will use for our good (Genesis 50:20, Romans 8:28) and Satan wants to use for our destruction. In the aftershock of a personal betrayal the enemy will swoop in and whisper that God allowed this awful thing to happen because God doesn’t really see us or love us. The enemy will work overtime to get us to turn away from the only one who can truly give us the help and comfort we need in our deepest pain (2ndCorinthians 1:3-5).  When we understand the spiritual battle at the root of every betrayal it makes it easier to run towards God instead of away from Him (Psalm 17:6, Psalm 30:11). 

Choose to hold on to your integrity- 

Anytime we experience deep pain or loss it’s normal to want to give into fleshly responses like lust, unforgiveness and revenge. This can even morph into a feeling that we are somehow entitled to sin in whatever manner we choose. If we give into temptation our character will wither and nothing good or life-giving will come out of our trial (James 1:12).  Joseph understood this reality. When the opportunity to find consolation in illicit sex came his way, he ran (Genesis 39, 2nd Timothy 2:22). When he was forgotten by a man who owed him a huge favor, he overlooked the offense (Genesis 40, Proverbs 19:11). When he had the opportunity to extract revenge, he blessed those who sold him into slavery (Genesis 45, Romans 12:19). Choosing to hang onto our integrity in the darkest of times gives God space to bless us both in the middle of the mess as well as in the long-term (Genesis 39:19-23, Genesis 41).

Feel out opportunities for reconciliation when they arise- 

Not every betrayal will end in joyful reconciliation (Genesis 45). People don’t always change and as a result reconciliation is not always possible or even wise.  However, it is critical we do what Joseph did and feel out the opportunities for reconciliation when they present themselves, but we need to do it wisely. In what can only be described as a very weird series of events Joseph kept his identity secret and tested his brothers. He gave them a series of tests and then carefully scrutinized their behavior to see if they had changed enough to make reconciliation realistic and healthy (Genesis 42-44). Like it or not, forgiveness is a requirement in a betrayal (Matthew 6:15) reconciliation is not. That said, we are never more like God than when we forgive and then reconcile with people who have wronged us (Matthew 5:48). Therefore, it should almost always be considered. 

And finally, 

We must choose to allow God to work on us and in us in the midst of the betrayal. Betrayal is a given in this life. We live in a fallen world inhabited by sinners. That being said, we get to choose what comes out of us when we are betrayed. We can choose bitterness and hate, or we can choose to let God work in us and on us.  If we choose to let God mold us we will come out of it something beautiful the Father can and will use for His glory (Isaiah 61:3-4). 

Who and What have the Power to “cut in” on our Faith?

Lisa M. PriceLeave a comment

Let’s rid ourselves of every obstacle and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let’s run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking only at Jesus, the originator and perfecter of the faith- Hebrews 12:1b-2a NASB

 The New Testament is packed with the literary device known as a metaphor. 

A metaphor (for those who have been out of school a while) is when one compares two totally dissimilar things WITHOUT using the words “like” or “as”. The Apostle Paul was especially fond of this particular figure of speech. He REALLY liked metaphors related to athletics. At least nine times Paul compares the Christian life to running a race or participating in an athletic contest (Acts 20:24, Romans 9:3, 1st Corinthians 9:24, 1st Corinthians 9:26, Galatians 2:2 Galatians 5:7).  In his letter to the Galatian church, Paul used the following metaphor to describe their spiritual state:

You were running a good race. Who cut in on you to keep you from obeying the truth? Galatians 5:7

The “who cut in on you” part got me thinking. It is simply a fact that life is full of events, situations and people that have the potential to “cut in on” our faith journey and sideline us spiritually. 

Sigh. 

The most common things that have the potential to “cut in” on our race of faith are:

The trials of life- 

 Trials are painful, frustrating, life-altering events. Some of the most painful trials involve broken relationships and betrayal. Trials can include (but are not limited to) difficulties in or with our marriages, children, careers, families, friendships, health and money (1st Peter 1:6, 1st Thessalonians 3:2-4). When trials pile-up or go on for an extended period of time, they create a sense of hopelessness. Unfortunately, the only way out of most trials is through them. The only way to survive an excess of trials is be intentional about making prayer a regular part of our routine. Prayer will not make a trial go away. However, a robust prayer life does give us the strength to power through the painful stuff of life with our faith and sanity intact (Romans 12:12, Proverbs 28:14). A commitment to trust, obey and stay faithful to God no matter how difficult, painful or weird life gets is also essential because those commitments are faith in action. Without faith we cannot please God, nor will we survive spiritually (Hebrews 11:6, 1st Corinthians 16:13). When we choose faith, we survive the trials of life, and as an added bonus we go on to become better, wiser, healthier versions of ourselves (James 1:2-4).  We also forge a closer connection to Jesus in the process. All wins. 

A spirit of jealousy and/or competition-

Jealousy and its foul cousin, a spirit of competition, rarely get the credit they deserve for the trouble they cause in our spiritual lives. These sins are problematic because Christians are called to unity (John 17:20-23, Ephesians 4:1-3, 1st Corinthians 12:12, 1st Corinthians 3:3). Jealousy and competition make unity in the body of Christ impossible. Jealousy and competition turn our focus entirely onto ourselves and what we don’t have, this leads to thanklessness, covetousness and eventually even idolatry (Romans 1:21-23, James 4:1-3, Galatians 5:19-21). Jealousy, covetousness and/or disunity will cut in on or race of faith. Every. Single. Time. These sins must be dealt with quickly and decisively or moral chaos WILL ensue (Matthew 5:30)  

Bitterness- 

Bitterness is a defiling force in our lives and a fast track to spiritual ineffectiveness and even generational brokenness (Hebrews 12:15, Ephesians 4:31). Sadly, hurt, pain, loss, betrayal and disappointment are inevitable in this life (Psalm 90:10, John 16:33, Psalm 22:11). Everyone experiences these things at one time or another. However, we get to decide for ourselves whether or not we will allow our pain and disappointment to morph into bitterness, cynicism, resentment and hostility.  The keys to preventing bitterness are to choose forgiveness when hurt and to commit to trusting God with the stuff in life we are helpless to understand or process (Proverbs 3:5-6, Psalm 4:5, Psalm 9:10, 1st Peter 2:6). 

Bad doctrine- 

Many (not all) modern-day Christians tend to think the finer points of doctrine are irrelevant at best and divisive at worst. It feels much kinder and more inclusive to just let people believe whatever they want to believe. Nevertheless, it was bad doctrine that was tripping up the Galatian Christians. Wrong doctrine always leads to wrong thinking. Wrong thinking always leads to wrong behavior. It’s critical Christians know the Bible and do their level-best to live it out (1st Timothy 4:13, 2nd Timothy 3:16, 2nd Peter 3:16). 

Bad company- 

There is nothing wrong with being on friendly terms with immature, unsaved or even shady people. Christians are called to influence, inspire, lead and evangelize all people, not just nice people who follow the rules (Matthew 5:13-16, 2nd Corinthians 5:20, 2nd Timothy 2:15, 1st Peter 3:15). However, we are also called to be very cautious about who we allow to influence, inspire and lead us (Proverbs 12:26, 1st Corinthians 15:33). Those closest to us ought to be people who inspire us to better things in every area. Anyone else will cut in on our race of faith. 

It is up to us as individuals to be aware of the things or people that have “cut in” on our race of faith (Hebrews 2:1). Anytime we sense ourselves becoming less faithful or interested in the things of God we must do some soul searching, repent of any sin we may be harboring and seek Jesus (Proverbs 26:13, Matthew 3:8, 2nd Corinthians 7:10). Then we need to ask God for the spiritual refreshment necessary to get back in the race of faith (2nd Corinthians 13:5, Revelation 2:4-5)

Winning the Battle with Discouragement-

Lisa M. PriceLeave a comment


The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged- Deuteronomy 31:28 NIV

Discouragement. 

It’s just kind of an ugly word. 

It’s an even uglier reality.

The Cambridge dictionary defines discouragement as:

The state of having lost your confidence or enthusiasm. 

With all due respect to the word wizards at Cambridge, a protracted case of discouragement is much more serious than merely losing one’s confidence or enthusiasm for a situation. If discouragement goes on for long enough it’s a fast-track to depression, despondency and hopelessness. 

Because discouragement can be so demoralizing, it one of the most powerful tools in Satan’s toolbox. The enemy understands that if he can bring enough trouble, pain and pressure into our lives in a short enough of period of time it is possible we will become so discouraged that our faith in the goodness of God will collapse like a house of cards in a hurricane (1st Peter 5:8). A lingering case of discouragement can leave us angry and bitter towards God (Hebrews 12:15, Ephesians 4:26). It’s just too easy to conclude God doesn’t care about our pain or that He has completely forgotten about whatever situation feels so unending and bleak. 

God is big enough to handle our feelings, even the really ugly ones. However, this does not mean we should allow anger with God to go unchecked indefinitely. Anger towards God becomes problematic when in our anger we quit seeking and serving God (Galatians 6:9, Matthew 6:13-16). Anytime our desire to do good and glorify God is lessened in any way we are well on our way either a life of spiritual rebellion and sin or lukewarm Christianity. Both lead to spiritual ineffectiveness and eventually even deeper despair. 

It’s simply a fact that we are most likely to hit our limits, encounter a season of discouragement and experience spiritual warfare when we are busy seeking God and doing exactly what He wants us to do.  Self-focused, unruly or wayward Christians create no problems or issues for the enemy (Proverbs 1:32). As a result, he tends to just leave them alone. 

Sigh. 

Discouragement occurs anytime a limited being hits a limit. Human beings are by nature limited beings. The limits that stretch our ability to cope can be physical, emotional, mental or spiritual in nature. Anytime we go through a season where we hit all our limits all at the same time there’s a pretty good chance the discouragement we are experiencing is a spiritual weapon Satan is attempting to form against us (Isaiah 54:17). Prayer is without question the most powerful weapon we have in our spiritual tool box. We will never come out of a season of discouragement stronger and healthier without it. (Matthew 26:41, Ephesians 6:18-20, Romans 8:26). No season of life (good or bad) goes on indefinitely. This (whatever “this” is) will pass. In the meantime, there are four things God wants us to ask Him for in a season of discouragement.

The first is:

 Spiritual effectiveness- 

Few Christians have faced the kind of trouble, discouragement and hardship the Apostle Paul experienced (2ndCorinthians 11:24-28, 2nd Corinthians 4:7-16). Anytime the going got tough Paul would ask his friends to pray for increased spiritual effectiveness (Romans 15:30, Colossians 4:3, Ephesians 6:19, Philippians1:19). Paul wisely understood that struggle and difficulty brings with it great opportunity for spiritual effectiveness, personal growth and fruit. We should follow his lead and pray for spiritual effectiveness in our personal struggle or hardship.  

Spiritual insight- 

 God does not bring hardship in to our lives to punish us. That said, God does use the difficulties of living in a fallen world to refine us, grow us, and make us more like Jesus. If a season of discouragement is handled with wisdom and integrity it will result in greater spiritual insight and a deeper commitment to Jesus. The key to growth in a season of discouragement is to seek God with a greater intensity in spite of any discouragement we feel. When we seek God in the face of pain and/or spiritual confusion God blesses our faith with greater wisdom, understanding and insight. 

Grace-

Grace is so much more than simply the kindness and forgiveness God shows to unworthy sinners (Ephesians 2:8-9, Romans 3:23-24). Grace is the empowering presence of God that allows us to do more and endure more than we ever could in our own strength (2nd Corinthians 12:8-10). In seasons of hardship God’s grace is critical not just to our spiritual growth but also to our emotional survival. Everyday should begin with a prayer for an extra measure of grace. 

To get the work done-

Christians are called to be continually on mission for Jesus (Matthew 28:19, Matthew 5:13-16, Philippians 2:12-16). This means doing whatever work we have been called to do in spite of our circumstances (1st Chronicles 28:20). The details of our “work” in the Lord is different for everyone. For all of us it means living righteously and doing our best to bring the hope of Jesus into whatever situation God has called us into.

Seasons of discouragement are almost always a test of our faith and spiritual resiliency.  If we persevere through a discouraging season it always leads to a refining of our faith and a deeper understanding of who we are in Christ (1st Peter 1:3-9). Being refined is always difficult and painful, but the results are beautiful. 

How do we Forgive the Jerks who Hurt Us?

Lisa M. Price1 Comment

If you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses- Matthew 6:14-15 NKJV

Let’s be real. 

Hard things are hard and God asks His kids to do a lot of legitimately hard things.

Jesus’ followers are called to love the unlovable, exercise self-control in the most unjust of circumstances and do good things to and for those who mistreat them (Luke 6:27 12:17-19, 1st Peter 3:17, Matthew 5:44). 

Dang.

However. Without question the hardest of all the hard things God’s people are called to do is to forgive. The New Testament passages that mandate total forgiveness are insanely comprehensive and leave no legitimate wiggle-room for compromise on the subject (Matthew 18:21-35, Mark 11:25, Colossians 3:13, 1st Peter 2:18-21). These requirements go so far as to teach that our being forgiven by God hinges on our willingness to forgive others. 

Yikes. 

Furthermore, Hebrews 12:15 tells us if unforgiveness is allowed to harden into bitterness the bitterness will not just defile (taint, corrupt, ruin) the bitter person but the people they love as well. 

Sigh. 

Over the course of the last fifteen years or so I have been “blessed” with several “opportunities” to forgive people who legitimately did not deserve to be forgiven. These were not small slights like having my feelings hurt, being overlooked in a social situation or being ignored by someone I felt should care about me. Each experience was extremely personal and painful.  To my knowledge, none of the people I had to forgive were actually sorry for anything they did. None of them ever apologized or even admitted any kind of wrongdoing. I will not be spilling the tea on the details. All anyone really needs to know is that all those situations were incredibly painful and ultimately demanded more of me than I honestly thought I was capable of giving at the time. 

Through those situations I learned there are steps that must be followed for the process of forgiveness to work itself out. These things don’t need to be done in a particular order. However, if any parts of the process are skipped or glossed over the forgiveness will be incomplete and our feelings towards the person who hurt us will harden into bitterness. 

 Following are the steps to forgiving others:

Recognize that forgiveness is a process rather than an event- 

Forgiving really big offenses is rarely, if ever, a one and done. Forgiveness begins with the choice to forgive. However, that choice must be followed by a commitment to do the work necessary to truly move on from the hurt. The length of time it takes to work through the process depends on many things including the level of hurt involved and the maturity of the person who was hurt. 

Ask God to help you-

Any reasonably mature adult can forgive a social slight or a minor offense easily.  However, there are some hurts and offenses so grievous that even the most spiritually mature people cannot forgive them without God’s help and guidance.  

Allow yourself to feel the impact of the hurt-

Anytime I hear someone who has just experienced a hurt at the hands of an evil person say “I forgive them”. My heart breaks for that person because I know they aren’t Jesus and Jesus is the only person who ever lived who is truly capable of forgiving an act of evil without first sorting through their feelings about the situation (Luke 23:34). Forgiveness is hard because it means surrendering the right we all feel we have to hold people accountable for sinning against us. Feeling the full, ugly impact of a hurt is excruciatingly painful. Therefore, it is tempting to simply utter the words “I forgive” without counting the cost and really working through how we feel about the person who hurt us. If we skip this step we will likely find that the feelings of forgiveness do not last long. Another possible consequence of skipping or glossing over this step is turning to substances (drugs, alcohol, food) to keep the bad feelings at bay.    All that being said, it is critical that we don’t get stuck in feeling the pain because if we do bitterness is inevitable. 

Find a person to help you process- 

God designed the human race in such a way that people need people (Genesis 2:18). Christians are commanded to comfort the hurting and to grieve with those who mourn (2nd Corinthians 1:3-5, 1st Thessalonians 2:11-12, Romans 12:15). No one needs comfort more or is grieving harder than someone who is processing a huge injustice.  If you are hurting find a Christian counselor, Pastor or mature Christian friend who can walk you through the process. If you happen to be in a good place right now commit yourself to being the person who helps someone when they need comfort (Matthew 5:9, James 3:18). 

Pray daily for the person who hurt you- 

You absolutely have to pray God blesses the person who hurt you. This one sucks in the worst way imaginable but it is also probably the most important. Thankfully you are not required to pray they will be blessed with a million dollars or their dream job. Instead, ask God to bless them with healthy self-awareness so they will begin to understand how their actions are affecting the people they interact with.  Ask God to put people and situations in their lives to help them become more self-aware and caring. Pray He will do whatever needs to be done in their lives for them to grow into the best version of themselves possible (Luke 6:28). Keep praying those prayers until you feel freed from any bitterness you feel towards the person who hurt you. 

Forgiveness is never easy.

That said, forgiveness is worth all the pain and trouble involved because the alternative is mental, emotional and spiritual bondage. Unforgiveness keeps us emotionally stuck, making it impossible to grow, change and be transformed into the image of Jesus.  Authentic forgiveness frees us from the mental bondage of thinking about the person who hurt us all the time. This frees us up to focus on the things that will empower us to become the people God wants us to be and that kind of freedom is worth any trouble and pain it takes to get there (2nd Corinthians 3:18).   

Dealing with the very Real Temptation to Become Bitter-

Lisa M. Price1 Comment

I loathe my very life; therefore, I will give free rein to my complaint and speak out in the bitterness of my soul~ Job 10:1 NIV

 Bitterness is not a subject discussed much in the church.

It ought to be because bitterness is something everyone struggles with at some point in their lives.

 Everyone is tempted to become bitter at some point, because bitterness is simply a byproduct of living in a fallen world. We are all sinners (Romans 3:23, Romans 5:12-14). Sinners universally have a tough time seeing their own issues and faults. Sinners also have a tough time seeing the effect their issues and faults have on others. Because most people, even most Christians, are really just sinful, clueless bumblers. People hurt others, sometimes without even realizing they are doing it. It is true, there are evil people who hurt others intentionally simply because they enjoy hurting people, but in my experience those people are fairly rare. Most folks just stumble around blindly, not realizing how much suffering, trouble and pain they are generating with their actions and choices.

Sigh.

  I have done my time in the pit of bitterness. Thanks to God’s mercy I came out of it with my faith, sanity and love for humanity firmly intact. Through the process of getting free I learned a thing or two about this rather painful subject. Including:  

 Bitterness feels awesome-

 Only a very few excessively sensitive souls become really bitter over stuff that wasn’t a big deal in the first place (Luke 17:1).  As a result, when we wallow around in bitterness it feels AWESOME, at first. Alcohol and bitterness have some weird things in common. Alcohol is a slow-acting poison. As we indulge, the poison begins to work. In the beginning we feel euphoric and awesome. However, if we drink too much for too long that choice can end in sickness, liver failure, brain damage and sometimes even death. Bitterness acts on our spirits in much the same way alcohol acts on our bodies. Because bitterness is almost always the result of a valid hurt, nursing feelings of bitterness is emotionally satisfying and feels great, at least in the beginning.  However, if we do not get a firm handle on our bitter feelings the choice to indulge them inevitably ends in the spiritual and emotional equivalent of acute alcohol poisoning or liver failure. Every analogy breaks down at some point and it is true of this one as well. The biggest difference between alcohol and bitterness is that a little bit of bitterness is never okay and there are no known benefits to bitterness. No one can indulge in a bitter spirit and walk away unscathed because bitterness is far more addictive and damaging than alcohol could ever be.   

 Prevention is the best medicine for bitterness–

 Hebrews 12:15 warns against allowing the sin of bitterness to take root in our lives. The text says:

See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.

The “see to it” wording of this verse tells us that the writer believed individuals have some personal responsibility when it comes to the sin of bitterness. There are times when circumstances that produce bitter roots appear out of nowhere and we have zero control over whether or not to allow those situations into our lives. There are also times when we simply cannot walk away from people or circumstances that have the potential to make us bitter. When that happens, our spiritual and moral responsibility is to deal with our feelings before God in a healthy way so that bitterness has no opportunity to take root in our lives.  That being said, there are also times in life when we willingly place ourselves in situations, or refuse to walk away from situations that we know from day one will be fertile ground for bitter roots.  Taking responsibility for ourselves in the area of bitterness means being cautious about which situations we allow ourselves to get into and which situations we choose to stay in (Proverbs 6:1-3).   

 Bitterness is a temptation before it is a sin-

 Bitterness is a choice (Ephesians 4:31). Like all choices, bitterness is not something we fall into like helpless chumps. We are tempted long before the sin overtakes us (1stCorinthians 10:13). Wise, mature Christians are emotionally vigilant, they pay attention to their feelings so that they can avoid getting caught-up in something sinful, like bitterness (1stPeter 5:8).

 Getting free from the sin of bitterness begins with recognizing that wallowing around in bitterness is every bit as sinful as whatever situation caused us to become bitter in the first place. In other words, we must confess our own sin. Then we must forgive the person who sinned against us. A key component of forgiving others is trusting God to deal with the person who sinned against us.  Praying for the person who sinned against us can help us let go of the desire for revenge.  Forgiveness is never easy and is typically a process that takes time. To get free we must take our hurt and pain to God until we are free from the hurt, anger and bitterness.

What the Kavanaugh Hearings Say About our Culture-

Lisa M. PriceLeave a comment

Buy the truth and do not sell it— wisdom, instruction and insight as well~ Proverbs 23:23 NIV

 My husband and I are not exactly world travelers.  In almost three decades of marriage we have left the continental U.S. exactly once (to build houses in Juarez, Mexico). This past week we broke with our pathetic tradition of staying put and made our first trip to Europe. We spent almost two weeks in Ireland and loved every minute of it.  We found the people of Ireland to be genuinely warm, good-natured and hysterically funny. They were quick to engage in conversation with anyone willing to learn about the history of their country.

  In the mornings we drank truly terrible coffee and watched the European news stations (BBC and Sky). The thing about European news is that it’s really short on actual news stories. There were quite a few biased views regarding Brexit and negative opinion pieces thinly disguised as actual news concerning the American president.  However, all the other stories tended to be focused on the environment, events that took place decades ago that have zero relevance to life in this decade and lifestyle pieces. Sadly, European news makes American news look downright illuminating.

 Sigh.

 The one relevant news event that managed to make it across the pond was the scandal brewing at the Brett Kavanaugh confirmation hearings. The newscasters in Europe went to great lengths to cover every salacious aspect of the story in grim detail. Most of them had a tough time hiding their glee at the prospect of this particular nominee going down in flames.  

 It goes without saying (but I will say it anyway) that I have no clue what exactly happened between Bret Kavanaugh and his accuser. No one does. It is the ultimate he-said she-said.  It is clearly evident that Ms. Ford sincerely believes something happened and has experienced pain and trauma. Whether or not it was at the hands of Bret Kavanaugh could not be less clear.  That aside, I believe that most of us are missing the bigger picture. This hearing is about bigger things than this hearing.  Sadly, how the Kavanaugh inquiry is being handled says a lot about where we might be headed as a culture. Following are four major concerns we should all have about this situation and how it’s being conducted.

 We are rapidly devolving into a people that believes that the hoped-for outcome of any given situation always justifies the means used to achieve that outcome-

 It is clear that the allegations leveled against Kavanaugh are absurdly partisan at their foundation. If this were not true the matter would have been handled quietly and Ms. Ford would not have become a public figure. It’s clear the Democrats desperately want to prevent Kavanaugh from being confirmed before the mid-term elections because they are hoping to gain enough seats in November to prevent the President from confirming more Justices during his remaining time office. If they succeed they will effectively prevent the President from transforming the political landscape for a generation or more. I do not agree with what the Dems are attempting to do but I do understand what’s motivating them. They believe that the direction the country is headed in under this administration is wrong. Rather than trust the process (as Republicans were forced to do) they have chosen to ruin the reputation of a man based on what can only be described as the thinnest of evidence just so they can get their desired outcome (a more liberal America). It’s a corrupt political move and ultimately it will hurt everyone including the Dems (Proverbs 28:10, Amos 5:14).  

 We have decided that past injustice towards a particular group validates present injustice towards a different group-

 It goes without saying that women have been treated unfairly by men in the past (Proverbs 22:8). Until recently women were not permitted to vote, own property or even decide the direction of their own futures. Additionally, women were seldom believed when they were raped or sexually harassed. Even when they were believed they were frequently blamed for the assault. That said, just because women have been treated badly in the past it does not make it okay to accuse men without evidence in the present (Psalm 5:5). Nor does past injustice towards women automatically make every present allegation against men true.

  We could easily be setting victims of sexual assault back a hundred years-

 Cultural pendulums tend to swing dramatically. So, if we as a society choose to simply believe (and act on) every accusation of sexual assault (no matter how flimsy the evidence). Sooner or later the pendulum is bound to swing back to a place where no one is believed. That will be a sad day for everyone.   

 We are becoming a people who lack moral insight and wisdom-  

 There has been endless dialog surrounding this investigation (Job 13:5) however, none of the talk has centered on the prevention of sexual assault or the prevention of false accusations of sexual assault. We need to get back to a place where we are teaching our boys as well as our girls that attending parties where drunkenness is the sought-after outcome is dangerous and could easily lead to traumatic, life-altering consequences for everyone involved (Proverbs 1:7, Psalm 119:104).

 Period.

 

 

The Fast-Track to Becoming Spiritually Useless-

Lisa M. PriceLeave a comment

Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up. You will increase my honor and comfort me once more~ Psalm 71:20-21 NIV

 There are a few sins unique to a few seriously creepy individuals. Normal people might joke about murder. However, very few people actually kill people.  Even fewer people joke about cannibalism or human sacrifice. 

 Then there are the other sins.

 Those irksome little sins that sprout-up like weeds in a garden. The ones we all struggle with (1st Corinthians 10:13). There is simply no one in all of human history who has not grappled with lust, inappropriate anger, jealousy, hatred, selfish ambition and the inclination to gossip (Galatians 5:19-21, James 3:14, Colossians 3:5-6) at some point in their lives.

 Bitterness is another.

Scripture clearly instructs Christians to avoid becoming bitter and remaining bitter (Ephesians 4:31, Hebrews 12:15). That being said, most of us (if we’re honest) will admit to wallowing around in the sin of bitterness at some point.  

Here’s the thing:

Most people do not become bitter without at least a semi-valid reason. This inevitably leads people to feel justified and even righteous as they embrace the anger and resentment that ultimately leads to bitterness.  I am well-acquainted with the sin of bitterness. I learned first-hand over the course of several miserable and painfully unproductive years bitterness is one of those sins that hurts us far more than it hurts the people who have sinned against us.

 It is critical we understand God does not forbid bitterness because it is not a defensible, logical or understandable reaction to certain situations. Sometimes bitterness is all of those things. God forbids bitterness because bitterness gradually undoes every good thing God has done in our hearts, minds and spirits.  At the root of a bitter spirit is unforgiveness. Unforgiveness causes us to miss the grace of God and prevents us from experiencing the Christian life in all its beauty and fullness (Matthew 6:14-15, Hebrews 12:15, Luke 17:4).

 The paths that lead to bitterness are endless.

Something as small and seemingly insignificant as being offended or ignored can cause a bitter root to develop in more sensitive people. An unfaithful spouse, a duplicitous friend, a truly tough childhood or ongoing, unrelenting injustice can cause a root of bitterness to sprout-up in even the most thick-skinned of people.  

 Because bitterness is such a common sin and because it is something we are cautioned to avoid at all costs there are at least four things every Christian needs to understand about bitterness.

 Bitterness makes spiritual growth impossible-

 It does not matter how many sermons the bitter person hears (or preaches). Nor does it matter how much of the Bible a person can recite verbatim. There is something about the choice to remain bitter that makes it impossible for that person to apply the truth they are taught or are teaching to their own life. Any learning that does take place is typically just empty academic agreement (head knowledge) rather than a full emotional and intellectual adoption of truth we have understood and embraced (heart knowledge). Satan celebrates every time a Christian becomes bitter because bitterness keeps Christians stuck in a cycle of obtaining knowledge without actually growing (2nd Timothy 3:7).

 Bitterness halts clear communication with God-

 Bitterness is a sin (Ephesians 4:31, Acts 8:23). It just is.  Sin impedes communication with God. It just does. Repentance from sin is the only way to restore clear and unrestricted communication with God (2nd Chronicles 7:14, Daniel 9:1-19). Sadly, bitterness blinds us to the lack of communication we have with God, making it more difficult to hear His voice and get right Him.

 We have a responsibility to prevent our own bitterness-

 There will always be situations that come into our lives that have the potential to make us bitter. Some of those situations are one-hundred-percent unforeseeable and therefore entirely unavoidable. That being said, the author of the book of Hebrews tells the readers of the book to “see to it” that no “bitter root grows up”. The writer is instructing Christians to process and forgive offenses as quickly and completely as humanly possible.  Likewise, Christians should be very careful about voluntarily placing themselves in situations where bitterness is an obvious and foreseeable end result of said situation (Hebrews 12:15, Ephesians 5:15).

 Behaving in a way that causes others to become bitter is as sinful as bitterness-

 The New Testament clearly teaches a principle of mutual accountability when it comes to sin (Matthew 18:6-9). For example: Christians are clearly forbidden from committing adultery (Exodus 20:14, Mark 7:21). However, spouses are also cautioned against refusing one another other sexually because doing so could tempt their spouse to commit adultery (1st Corinthians 7:1-5). Obviously, a lack of “IT” in a marriage does not make adultery acceptable to God (Hebrews 13:4). However, it does make the other partner accountable to God for their refusal to obey Scripture.  Similarly, each person is responsible before God for their own choice to become bitter. However, we have an obligation to live in such a way that we do not give people just cause to become bitter. If we don’t we will be accountable to God for our sinful, selfish or evil actions.

 Finally. There really is only one path to getting free from the sin of bitterness-

 We have to forgive.

 Seriously.  It’s that simple. We have to let go of the hurt and bitterness we are holding onto and let God be the judge and jury of the other person. 

 It’s His job (1st Samuel 24:12, Hebrews 4:13, 1st Peter 4:5) and it makes us free to do what He has called us to do.