The Do’s and Don’ts of Being A Good Christian

Whoever says, “I know him,” but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in that person.  – 1st John 2:4 NIV

 This morning I read an article that left me heartbroken for the body of Christ. The piece was about a well-known Christian “influencer” who has made his mark on the world as a wordsmith. His career has consisted of crafting pithy little sayings to encourage other Christians. Well— it turns out that at least some of those sayings were not really his, they were “borrowed” from other speakers, authors and historical figures. As someone who spends a good deal of my time crafting not-so-pithy compositions to encourage Christians I do not see anything wrong with wordsmithing, influencing or encouraging.

 However.

 There is something very wrong with stealing other people’s ideas and intellectual property and presenting them as our own.

 The whole messy mess got me thinking about a lot of things. Like grey areas, right and wrong and the hazards of “influencing” when influencing for Jesus morphs into self-promotion. It occurred to me that there is very little agreement about what a Christian should “look like” in our day and age.

 The standard definition of a Christian is someone who has dedicated their life to following the person and teachings of Jesus Christ. Figuring out what the Christian life should look like in our world is not as cut-and-dried as it once was. Even concepts as elementary as love can be confusing if we have the wrong definition. What Christianity should look like is something we need to figure out fast because if we don’t we will ultimately fail at the most basic assignment Christians have been tasked with (Matthew 28:19-20).  Following are five do’s and two don’ts that will empower us to live the Christian life successfully in our messy mess of a world.

Christians Do-

 Judge sometimes-

 The notion that Christians should never judge is a misinterpretation of Scripture and a lie straight out of the pit of hell. It is true Christians should never judge whether or not another person is worthy of forgiveness or heaven, that is always God’s call to make (Matthew 7:2, Luke 6:37). That being said, Christians are called to make judgments concerning right and wrong (Luke 12:57, John 7:24, Acts 4:18-20, 1st Corinthians 5:12). Anytime we stop judging the actions of ourselves and others we quickly devolve to an ugly place where everyone does “what is right in their own eyes” (Judges 21:25). When that happens, we forfeit our power to influence others in a healthy way (Matthew 5:13).

Love People-

 Okay, so, this is a bit of a given. Even demons and the foulest of unbelievers understand that love is one of the defining marks of a Christ-follower (John 13:34-35). However, some Christians do not get that Christian love is multifaceted and complex. It protects, encourages and believes the best in others but it also cautions, corrects and sometimes even rebukes (1st Corinthians 4:14-20, 1st Thessalonians 5:14).  Jesus loved the Pharisees enough to die for them but that didn’t stop Him from warning them of the consequences they would encounter if they continued to live in opposition to the will of God (Luke 11:11-53).  If we really want to love like Jesus loved we have to embrace every aspect of Christian love—not just the parts and pieces that make people like us. 

Do good-

 Christians are commanded constantly in Scripture to “do good” (Galatians 6:9, 2nd Thessalonians 3: 13, Titus 1:6, Titus 2:7, 1st Peter 2:12). The specifics of “doing good” are left somewhat up to the discretion of individual Christians. In the New Testament “doing good” always involved helping people, providing for the less fortunate and avoiding sin. Doing good is not about being “the next big thing” or “a big deal” in the Church. It’s about doing what God called you to do to the best of your ability right where He put you. 

Tell the truth-

 This does not just mean Christians don’t lie.  It also means we live our lives openly and we fight the human tendency to compartmentalize and hide our sin rather than confess and repent (Matthew 3:8, James 5:16).   

 Obey Jesus-

  Obedience is a mark of an authentic Christian (John 14:23-24). When we obey Jesus we love people, hate sin, tell the truth and honor God. If we would all just do our best to obey Jesus most problems we have in the body of Christ would be a nonissue.

Christians don’t-

 Mess with the word of God-

 Contrary to popular opinion not every biblical issue is always black and white, there are some grey areas. It’s reasonable for Christians to debate (among other things) how often to take communion, the role of women in the church (Judges 4-5, Romans 16:1), whether or not Christians should use alcohol and exactly how political a church ought to be.  However, most issues hotly debated today (homosexuality, premarital sex, gender issues, adultery) were settled long ago and should be treated that way.  

 Hate people-

 This one is easier in theory than in practice. (Matthew 10:22).  This is especially true when we are hated, openly mocked and persecuted just for loving Jesus.  Nonetheless, our calling is clear: Jesus wants us to love those who hate us and to do good to people who hate us (Luke 6:27-28). It is simply impossible for anyone to obey this command in their own power. It can only be accomplished through the emboldening and empowering presence of the Holy Spirit (2nd Corinthians 12:8-10)

 Christians who wish to make a difference in this world never shy away from the calling we all have to repent and be constantly transformed into the image of Jesus even if that means being a little less popular and successful by worldly standards.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The One Thing Every Christian Can Do to Improve the Culture-

My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge- Hosea 4:6a NKJV


I had a couple of rude awaking’s this past week.

 The first came by way of a blogpost I ran across on social media.  It was written by a Christian Mother who is helping her twelve-year-old son transition from male to female. The mother is “openly queer” the wife of a pastor, writer, speaker and LGTBQ activist.  Her “daughter” was featured in a recent issue of People Magazine. In the post the Mother speaks proudly about her child undergoing a second surgical procedure to halt puberty, so that her son can become her “daughter”.  Mom expresses her gratitude to God for “topnotch medical care” and a church willing to provide health insurance for her “daughter’s medical treatments.

 Sigh.

 The second situation was less directly messy. However, it is, in my opinion more worrisome. Mostly, because the flawed thinking was far more nuanced and subtler than the first.

 A man I am choosing to assume is young because if he is not he has a lot of growing-up to do replied to a comment I made on social media. He boldly declared that Christians who support the current president in any way are “idolatrous bootlickers”. He also strongly suggested that Christians who support the President aren’t really Christians at all and in very real danger of going to hell. He felt it’s reasonable to make those rather harsh judgments because: 1. The president has sinned. 2. He does not have the proof he needs to determine whether or not the President has truly repented. 3. the church refuses to hold the president to the standard found in 1st Corinthians 5:9-11 (Paul insists a sinning person be put out of the church and Christians refuse to associate with that person until they repent) 4. He doesn’t think the President is fit to lead.

 I initially responded to both situations with a cursory eye-roll and face-palm and moved on.  Later I realized that both situations illustrate a growing problem in Christian churches:

 The Mother claims to be a Christian but appears to be lacking the knowledge base to understand that God is all-knowing and all-wise. For whatever reason, she has not grasped the basic truth that God does not make mistakes, nor do events on earth escape God’s attention. Apparently, she does not know, and is therefore incapable of teaching her child the truth that God wants her child to be the gender he was given at conception (Genesis 1:31).  The child should not be affirmed, rather he should be taught that gender is not an accident of fate, nor is it something we have a “right” to alter willy-nilly. The Bible is clear that if we don’t agree with the Creator on an issue it is our responsibility to get on board with God, not to take matters into our own hands and attempt to change reality.  The woman seems to be ignorant of the fact that God is infallible and we are not. Human beings are led by emotional impulses, faulty information and flights of fancy. God on the other hand has access to information we do not and He is always right.  Therefore, if we choose to fight God’s choice regarding our gender (or anything else) we run the risk of producing massive levels of regret and chaos. However, the only way to know all that is to know the overarching message of the Bible not just a few verses taken out of context.

 The second issue is different. The man did not seem to understand what the Bible says about secular leaders. First off, every human being has sinned, the president is not special (Romans 3:23). The only instruction the New Testament gives Christians concerning secular leaders is that we obey them and pray for them (1st Timothy 2:1-3, Romans 13:1-7). Furthermore, very few people know the president well enough to know if he is even a Christian and should be held to the standard found in 1st Corinthians.  Even if the President is a Christian there have been no issues of gross immorality we know of since taking office (braggadocios tweeting does not constitute gross immorality). Even God does not hold our sins against us forever if we repent. Lastly, America is not a theocracy. Therefore, Christians should be careful about judging political leaders. It is perfectly acceptable to pray out, vote out, or in extreme cases throw out a leader because they are grossly corrupt, unjust or evil. However, it is not acceptable to throw out a leader simply because we dislike their demeanor or deem them unfit to lead (Romans 13:1).

 We must never forget that expecting flawless perfection from a leader is dangerous. The Bible promises that someday there will be a flawless political leader. He will be the antichrist and some Christians will swear allegiance to him because he fits the mold of an “ideal” leader (Matthew 24:24).  

 Okay. So, here’s the thing.

 The above-mentioned examples are of people who do not have a firm grasp on what the Bible teaches about some key issues. However, the real question is how many Christians would be able to recognize those flaws and explain them to someone else?

 The answer is very few because Christians are quickly becoming biblically illiterate.

 Our culture wouldn’t be in such a spiritual muddle if the average church person were capable of parsing out flawed thinking regarding biblical issues and gently correcting wrong thinking. The one thing every Christian can do to improve the culture is to be intentional about becoming biblically literate.  Get into the word this year, learn what it says, commit to understanding what the Bible says as a whole rather than picking out pieces and parts we like to obey. Then commit to living out God’s truth in a gentle and gracious way that draws others into the Kingdom of God.

 

 

 

 

 

Six Principles That Will Keep any Relationship Healthy, Happy and Thriving-

Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift~ Matthew 5:23-24

 Relationships.

 The blessing and curse of human existence.

 When our closest relationships are healthy and thriving, there is little in this life more rewarding.  When a close relationship goes bad there is literally nothing more miserable and angst-inducing.  

 In our chaotic, sin-sick world fragmented relationships are pretty much a given. Almost half of marriages end in divorce, friendships end as quickly as they begin, business associations rarely stand the test of time and churches routinely split over the stupidest stuff imaginable. We live in a culture that has trained us to believe that life is “all about me”. This creates an environment where it feels natural to treat relationships like disposable commodities. We have basically forgotten the principle found in Proverbs that reminds us never to forsake a friend or the friend of a family member- (Proverbs 27:10a)

 The Bible clearly teaches that Christians bear an extra measure of responsibility when it comes to the care, keeping and healing of relationships. We are reminded over and over again in Scripture that human relationships are not always easy but the difficulties involved in maintaining healthy relationships will make us better people (Proverbs 27:6, Proverbs 27:17).  Christians are directed to treat others the way they want to be treated and encouraged to take the initiative when it comes to reconciling broken relationships (Matthew 7:12, Ephesians 4:32, Matthew 5:23-24, Luke 12:58). Repairing damaged relationships and helping others to do the same is probably the most basic task Christians are called to in this life (2nd Corinthians 5:12-18) The process begins with understanding and choosing to live out the following six principles:

 If something feels wrong assume something is wrong-

 Never trivialize or ignore the niggling sense you may have caused offense or alienated another person (Proverbs 18:19). When in doubt ask how the other person is feeling and/or modify your behavior. The earlier a damaged relationship is attended to the simpler it is to repair.

 Do not short-circuit the recovery process-

 Anytime we jump to simply restoring a broken relationship without working through the issues that fractured the relationship in the first place we set in motion a series of events that will inevitably lead to even more brokenness and hurt. Problems need to be talked out, not glossed over if we want to see permanent recovery in the relationship and personal growth in ourselves. 

 Be willing to assume at least partial responsibility for any relationship fracture-  

 I truly loathe the adage: “perception is reality”. Mostly because if you really break it down it sounds like something a really crazy person would say. However, when it comes to hurt in relationships perception really is reality. It is critical we remember ALL human beings tend to be self-absorbed and blind to their own faults. For that reason, it is possible to hurt another person without knowing how we hurt them. Healthy, mature believers are always open to the idea that they may not understand how their words or actions have affected another person

 Accept the other person’s opinions regarding the situation-

 If someone lets you know the relationship has been broken or feels they were wronged by you it is not wise, kind or emotionally intelligent to write that person off as stupid, incorrect, easily hurt or just plain clueless. As Christians we owe it to God and people to find out why others feel the way they feel about situations that involve us—even when we truly believe we have done nothing wrong.  Not caring about the other persons side of things is both narcissistic and grossly sinful.  The only time we are free from the obligation of exploring the other person’s perspective is if the individual flatly refuses to communicate with us.

 Be willing to let some things go-

 Our personal relationships matter to God because relationship health is a measure of our spiritual health and maturity level. It is also reasonable to say that from God’s perspective relationships are nearly always worth preserving (Proverbs 17:9). The key to achieving relationship health is a willingness to let some things go. Cruelty, gas lighting, unfaithfulness in marriage or flagrant disrespect for the other person is never okay. That said, most other issues can be worked through if both parties are willing to listen, change and forgive.

Choose to view relationship troubles as opportunities for growth- 

 No normal, healthy or sane human being likes relationship issues. That said, truly mature people view all problems including relationship problems as an opportunity for growth rather than a hassle or a personal attack.

 The health of our relationships is a measure of our maturity. It is also a reflection of the power of our God in the eyes of unbelievers. A God who has the power to impact our relationships is a God worth following. For that reason Christians should do everything they can do to ensure their relationships are healthy and God honoring. 

 

We Don’t Need More Christian Values-

 I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead- Philippians 3:10-11 NIV

 Eleven years ago, a group of parents in our community became troubled by the lack of moral values that were rampant in our area. The parents approached the local schoolboard. After a series of meetings, the Central Valley School District decided to go all-in with values education. A committee was formed.  The committee came up with a program still used today that systematically teaches values and positive character qualities to children in public schools beginning in kindergarten.

 The values chosen were universally acknowledged as virtuous and helpful.  They were respect, responsibility, citizenship, caring, fairness, honesty, diligence, trustworthiness, courage, integrity, generosity and gratitude. 

 For the record, I have no idea how many of the parents on that committee where Christians. At that time, we lived in a neighboring district and I was not on the committee, nor was I friends with anyone on the committee. However, it did not escape my notice that every character quality on the list was in alignment with New Testament teachings. Furthermore, the definitions for each trait could have been written by an experienced Sunday school teacher. For example, the definition chosen for the citizenship value was:

 Positively contributing to society and community as well as dutifully respecting authority and the law.

 So, that sounds a bit like a synopsis of Romans 13:1-7 to me. But who am I to say what motivated the writer of the definition?

 Any-hoo.

 Last week I noticed one of the schools near our home had the character trait of the month and its definition (caring) on its reader board. The sign reminded me of the movement eleven years ago to bring “values” back into our community. 

 It occurred to me as I was driving home that little has improved in our community over the course of the last decade. Most kids (and adults) still lack the values those parents fought to have taught. Common courtesy is far less common now than it was then. Property crime occurs at a much higher rate than it did ten years ago. Our community has experienced one school shooting in recent years and nearly every social problem under the sun has increased in the years since the program was implemented.  

 Why, after all the years, all the tax dollars spent and all the hours put into teaching and training kids have we seen so little improvement in the moral climate of our community? 

 It is not the fault of parents who battled to bring values education into the schools. Those parents followed their conscience and worked their tails off to make a difference. That kind of moral courage is never wrong.  Nor, should the blame be laid at the feet of the school system. In a post-modern, post-values, post-Christian world some very brave leaders took a risk and made a valiant attempt at standing up for some timeless truths. That kind of bravery should always be celebrated. 

 The fault lies with society at large. For well over a century, individuals have wanted and, in some cases, even insisted that Christian values be taught without all the pesky ethical teaching that accompanies Christianity. Our culture wants nice people who practice Christian generosity in the event of a natural disaster or tragedy. We want people who are benevolent, compassionate and nice. We want people who tell the truth as Christianity demands.

 However, we do not wish to be burdened with any moral restrictions that might mess with our personal choices. We do not want Christianity meddling with our sex lives or telling us what we can or can’t watch on television. We for sure do not want Christianity to inform our views concerning drug legalization or childrearing practices.  

 The problem with this kind of thinking is that it will work for a generation or two, perhaps even three. When Christianity is authentic it is powerful enough that Christian virtues (patience, kindness, temperance, generosity, self-discipline) will live on in succeeding generations who don’t really know Christ. However, sooner or later the veneer of Christianity will begin to wear off of society and when that happens the society will begin to unravel.

 That is what we see happening today. Western Civilization has been living in the shadow of the blessings prior generations earned through their genuine faith in Christ (Deuteronomy 28, 1st Samuel 15:22, Psalm 128:1-3, John 14:23, 2nd John 1:6).  As those blessings fade we are left with the dregs of a post-Christian reality: disobedient children, corrupt politicians, lawlessness, sexual chaos, broken families and random violence (Ezekiel 23:35, 2nd Timothy 3:1-5).

 We will never get our homes, churches, community or country back to a place of blessing by painting society with yet another whitewashing of Christian virtues. We need Christianity not just Christian virtues. Christians need to get back to the business of repentance and making disciples. It all starts with making sure our own heart is right with God and other people. Once that is done Christians need to get into their communities with God’s truth and love.

 

 

 

 

 

Our Neurotic Obsession With Words

Keep reminding God’s people of these things. Warn them before God against quarreling about words; it is of no value, and only ruins those who listen- 2nd Timothy 2:14 NIV

Words have become a neurotic obsession for those lucky enough to live in first-world countries.

In Great Britain a person can be sentenced to seven years in prison for saying anything another person and a witness take as racist, insulting, threatening or disorderly. It is tempting to dismiss the Brits as insanely tense and high-strung for outlawing something as inane and difficult to define as “disorderly speech”. That is exactly the sort of silly nonsense along with tea and stamp taxes that led our founders to cut ties with Mother England in the first place. 

However, we are not far behind our British counterparts when it comes to prudishness over words.  The Massachusetts state legislature is currently debating a bill that would ban the use of a decidedly not-nice word that begins with B and rhymes with ditch. There would be legal consequences for anyone who uses the “B-word” word to “accost”, “annoy”, “degrade” or “demean” someone. As a female I am not, nor have I ever been a huge fan of that word. Nonetheless, I have some reservations about banning that or any word.  

But, there’s more:

Residents of New York City can be fined up to 250,000 dollars for using the term “illegal alien”.  Berkley adopted a “gender-neutral speech ordinance” “Manholes” are now “maintenance holes” and “he” and “her” have been replaced with “they” and “them”. New York and California fine people for calling someone by a non-preferred pronoun. Believe it or not, Christians were among the first to obsess over words.  There has been active movement in Christianity for years to forbid the use of words that non-Christians might possibly find confusing.   

The President offends with his words more than anyone in the history of forever. Since day one he has routinely used words that even his most ardent supporters have thought crude and unnecessary. Those same words have caused his critics to go apoplectic with rage on an almost daily basis. POTUS was back at it again this week. He used the word lynching to describe Democratic attempts to impeach him. 

Lynching is not a nice word or a nice thing. It is a stain on the soul of our nation that lynching was used to control, terrorize and punish black men in America for decades with few if any consequences for those who instigated the executions. I will concede that lynching was a poorly chosen word. Although, to be fair, he is not the first person to describe an impeachment as a lynching. That word was bandied about quite a bit during Bill Clinton’s impeachment process. 

One problem with focusing obsessively on words is that our fixation inevitably causes us to become distracted from the issues at hand. The lynching fracas is a relevant example. Every pundit in the Western hemisphere has ranted incessantly about that word for a solid week. I have personally been exposed to hours of commentary on the subject. What the word means, its history, how long the word has existed, why the word bothers people and the history of people who have been affected by lynch mobs. None of this is wrong. It would be a colossal tragedy to forget those people wronged by that repugnant practice. That being said, our collective focus on one stupid word has done a beautiful job of throwing everyone in the whole stinking country neatly off topic. We have forgotten all about the issue at hand and the debate we should be having which is the rightness or wrongness of this impeachment.

Something similar took place in the church with words and phrases like “sin”, “born-again”, “saved”, “believe”, “trust in Jesus”, “make a profession of faith” and “ask Jesus into your heart”. Many leaders in the 1980’s became razer-focused on the fact that some people found those words confusing. The actual problem was not with the words.  The problem was that people were confused by words that were critical to grasping the essentials of the Christian faith. Instead of finding ways to make those words more understandable and accessible to people, many churches stopped using some legit Bible words. Twenty-five years later many Christians cannot adequately explain the meaning of most of those words or lead non-Christians to faith in Christ, as a result, conversions have plummeted. 

Another problem with focusing on words is it keeps us from dealing with the heart attitudes that cause people to use terrible words. I guarantee you that criminalizing the B-word will not make men any more respectful of women in their hearts. It could in fact have the opposite effect. Some men might think that if women are so thin-skinned that a word has to be forbidden to make them feel “safe” then women really are weak, silly and not worthy of respect. Criminalizing words does not change hearts. Education and exposure to different kinds of people does.  

Words matter but not in the way some people think. Words have the power to inform, shape a narrative, change minds and can be the stimulus that sparks transformation in people and cultures. However, words do not have the power to cause people any real harm. They are just abstract ideas not little tiny knives that rip at our flesh. Outlawing words will make us dumber, less able to articulate truth and more easily fooled. 

Nobody wants that.  

Dear Progressive Friend,


Know also that wisdom is like honey for you: If you find it, there is a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off- Proverbs 24:14

Dear Progressives, 

Believe it or not, I totally get you guys. 

I get you in spite of my obvious absence of wokeness and lack of desire to be woke. I understand you because you and I are not all that different from each other.  It’s a fact that conservative Christians and progressives rarely, if ever see eye-to-eye on the how-to’s of much of anything.  Nonetheless, I believe with all my heart that American Progressives want many of the same things Christian conservatives want. 

You want a world where people are respected and cared for. You want a world where people are treated equally and civilly irrespective of where they come from, their gender, or the color of their skin. You want a world where basic human needs are met. You do not want to see the planet ruined for future generations by myopic idiots who care nothing about future generations. You want an educational system that works for everyone. Even for those who happen to be less fortunate or less clever.  

You want good things and I get it. In some ways I think I actually have a clearer understanding of what you want than you do. What you really want is a Christian world. The only real difference between you and me is that you want all the benefits of having a flawlessly Christian world without the Christianity.   

See, here’s the thing. 

The only reason the ideas you love even exist is because of the religion you tend to disparage and dismiss. Prior to the first century there was no real belief in the idea of equality. Period. Until the Christian religion came along, wealth, power, and the ability to dominant others were the only values that mattered. Ideals contemporary people hold dear such as compassion, forgiveness, tolerance and care for the less fortunate were thought to be silly, weak, impractical and frankly a little absurd.  Human beings tended to be born into a situation in life and they remained there until they died. Lucky people were born into influential families. Everyone believed that rich people were intrinsically superior to the poor. It was widely believed that slaves were born slaves because they were bad people and kings were born kings because the gods loved them more than the lowly chumps they ruled over. Because the powerful were thought to be fundamentally better than the weak they were able to do what they wanted to who they wanted to do it to without fear of legal recourse or social stigma. 

This did not make the world a happy place. 

Women, children, slaves and the poor were the biggest losers in that cold and callous world. Farm animals were typically treated better than human females and small children. No country on earth other than Israel recognized the legal rights of slaves’, foreigners, children or women. Most individuals lived out their short lives in wretched poverty, and ignorance. Lack of hope was common place. Literally no one in any government anywhere on earth cared anything at all about the poor and sick. Welfare programs for the poor simply did not exist and medical care was only available to those with the means to pay for it. Hospitals and doctors were under no obligation to treat sick people simply because they were sick. There was no such thing as due process and convicts routinely starved to death in prison.

Then Jesus came into the world.

Jesus valued women and loved children (Matthew 18:10, Luke 17:2, Luke 8:1-3, Luke 10:38-41). The early church was filled with women partly because Christianity offered a sanctuary where women were cherished and partly because early Christians made a practice of saving baby girls who had been abandoned to die by their parents. The apostle Paul made it clear in Galatians 3:26-28 and Colossians 3:11 that there is no room in Christianity for prejudice or sexism and as Christianity spread laws were passed to protect the rights of women, children and foreigners. It is a historical fact that Christian countries were the first to routinely educate little girls. Jesus healed the sick and the idea that sick people were sick because they were cursed by their gods fell out of fashion. Christians were the first to build hospitals for the poor and offer care for the dying. Because early Christians were often imprisoned for their faith they cared deeply about the humane treatment of prisoners and as a result feeding and clothing lawbreakers became standard.  The world changed and continues to change because of the values Christianity planted in the hearts of God’s people two thousand years ago. 

So, here’s the thing.

When we extricate the moral standards, truth claims and ethics of Christianity from the values Christianity made common (fairness, equality, justice, compassion and mercy) we remove the very thing that has made those values work: Jesus. Fear of and reverence for the God of the Bible provides the framework of morality that makes the values we all cherish possible. True Christians behave morally (most of the time) because they believe that someday they will stand before God and give an account for what they do and how they treated people. Without fear of God there is nothing that prevents people from getting wrapped-up in their own self-interest. 

When progressives attack Christianity and its morality the foundation that all human rights were built on is damaged. If that foundation is damaged badly enough we will implode a system that has been making the world a progressively better place for two thousand years.

Four Weird Things People Settle for that Fall Pitifully Short of the Best Things

Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom- Psalm 90:12 NIV

Humans do weird things. 

There is zero judgment in the aforementioned statement. I am speaking as a humble human who has been guilty of doing all sorts of weird things at various times in my life. 

I am not alone. 

Most of us will fight to the death for stupid stuff we don’t really want, need, or care anything about. Just about everyone has been guilty at some point of driving away the people they care about the most. And the majority of us have acted in a passive-aggressive way at some point in our lives. Passively-resisting, avoiding direct communication, faking compliance and forgetting things on purpose rather than simply asking for what we want is a very weird thing. Unfortunately, those weird things barely scratch the surface of what humans are capable of when it comes to weird things.  

Seriously.

We also settle for things that are far inferior to what God really wants us to have. We become spiritually lazy and rather than going after the best we settle for things that look and feel “good enough”. Settling for less than God’s best limits our spiritual growth and potential for doing good in this world. Furthermore, evil is accelerating at a startling pace in our day. (2nd Timothy 3:1-3). If Christians want to have any impact at all in these times we cannot afford to settle for anything less than God’s best. Following are four things that have the potential to ruin you spiritually if you choose to settle for them:

Losing influence-

Christians are redeemed for the purpose of influencing others (Matthew 5:14-16) and making a difference in this world (Ephesians 2:10). However, it is possible to forfeit our God-given influence by choosing to blend into and take on the attitudes and behaviors of our culture. If we blend in for long enough we eventually become powerless to effect change and spiritually useless (Matthew 5:13).

Makeovers

Humans are extraordinarily perceptive when comes to sensing social patterns. No sane individual wants to be branded as a weirdo, so we carefully monitor and regulate our public behavior. Christians are pros at this. The minute we get saved we take a look around at what other Christians are doing or not doing and dutifully fall in line. If none of the other Christians are dropping F-bombs we stop dropping F-bombs (at least in front of people). If none of the other Christians are drinking beer we steer clear of beer. If the other Christians are going to Bible study, we get our butts to a Bible study.  We alter our external behavior to fit into whatever Christian culture we are a part of, oftentimes without changing the attitudes of our heart (Romans 12:2).  Regulating behavior is not necessarily wrong or sinful. There are times when it is even healthy (Proverbs 16:32). However, simply copycatting good behavior falls painfully short of God’s will for our lives. God wants more for His people than wrong thinking covered-up with right behavior.  He wants to transform our thinking so that our behavior falls in line with what the Bible says rather than simply settling for behavior that “appears Christian” on the surface. Transformation cannot happen without effort on our part. We have to want it, pray for it and work our tails off to get it (Philippians 2:12, Ephesians 4:17-32). 

Being smart- 

Everybody understands what it means to be smart. Smart people can read, write and solve tricky mathematical equations. Smart people speak well and they know how to get things done. Smart is good. Wisdom is better and infinitely harder to define (Proverbs 2:12-16). Wisdom empowers people to think like God thinks and to see problems, situations and people from His perspective (James 3:17). Wisdom enables people to look at every side of an issue and think through all the conceivable outcomes of issues. Wisdom enables people to know good advice when they hear it and teaches them to tactfully ignore bad counsel (Proverbs 13:10) Wise people know when to give a little so they can get a lot and they know when they should go to war to eventually achieve peace. Wisdom is gift. God bestows wisdom on those humble enough to admit they don’t have it (2nd Chronicles 1:7-12, Proverbs 1:7, Proverbs 2:6, James 1:5). 

 Forfeiting the freedom to speak truth for approval–  

It is human nature to hunger for approval and acceptance. However, there are times when that aspect of our human nature bumps up against God’s will for our lives. Anytime a Christian chooses being liked over the freedom to speak out against anything God clearly labels sin we break the heart of God and limit our usefulness for the Kingdom. 

Our world is getting darker and scarier by the day and the darkness is not going anywhere anytime soon (Matthew 24:7-13). In a world where sin is celebrated and there is a clear and present danger that biblical Christianity will be criminalized. It is imperative God’s people do not settle for anything less than being the world changers we are called to be. 

Is It Evil or Just A Bad Idea?

Our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms- Ephesians 6:12 NIV

It is simply a fact that there are subjects and issues associated with Christianity and the church that are bound to illicit some obvious discomfort and perhaps even a flight response from unbelievers. Expressing biblical views concerning gender, homosexuality, the wrath of God or any topic pulled out of the book of Leviticus is bound to make many non-Christians visibly uncomfortable and perhaps even a bit sweaty. 

There are also biblical issues that make some Christians super squirmy and uncomfortable. Ask why a good God allows evil, or exactly how predestination works or start a conversation about premarital sex, women in ministry, or demonic possession and most Christians will nervously check their watches and begin searching frantically for the nearest exit. 

But perhaps the most of uncomfortable topic of all the uncomfortable topics for both believers and unbelievers is spiritual warfare. There are good reasons for this. There is simply no other subject in the Bible that can get weirder faster than spiritual warfare. This is partly because the Bible is somewhat vague about the particulars of the subject. We know that there are angels and demons and that the angels are the good guys and the demons are the bad guys. We also know that Satan is constantly scheming to distract people from the truth of God and discourage and demoralize Christians (Daniel 10:10-14, Zechariah 1:7-11 Ephesians 6:10-13).  But, the ins and outs of how all of that works is a bit hazy and we are all left to fill in the blanks. Some Christians fill in the blanks rather dramatically. 

Every Christian has an auntie, nana or cousin who sees a demon under every dumpster and at the core of every problem or minor inconvenience. These folks sincerely believe EVERYTHING is a scheme of Satan. Flat tires, bad weather, tired children and head colds are never just things that happen. They are always from the devil. This causes many Christians (especially the smart ones) to simply dismiss the spirit world altogether or to accept the idea that the spirit world exists but avoid thinking about or discussing it. For the record, I do not judge Christians who choose to adopt those polices. The latter was mine for a very long time. 

However.

There are problems with that policy.  Christians are commanded to resist the devil and stand firmly against evil (James 4:7, Ephesians 6:13). It’s difficult to resist something or stand against it when we are doing our best to ignore the fact that the thing exists. Anytime we deny the reality of the spirit world we become less discerning about spiritual things in general. It is possible to know if a movement, idea or undertaking is a scheme of the devil or just a bad idea. Evil ideas or Satanic movements always have three characteristics to them: 

Evil ideas look helpful but lead to despair-

Satan masquerades as an angel of light (2nd Corinthians 11:14). He also wraps his most destructive ideas in an altruistic façade. The modern-day environmental movement is one clear example of this. Environmentalism was (mostly) a good thing until it was hijacked by weirdos who want us to eat babies and dead people (I am not making this up. Google it).  Past environmentalists sought to solve problems and create community around the task of caring for the planet. The early environmentalist movement brought us Arbor Day, recycling and environmental cleanup programs. However, around the time The Inconvenient Truth was released environmentalism became despair driven and began pushing an insane anti-human agenda. When humans live sensibly and in submission to God they really are the answer to problems that concern the earth (Genesis 1:28). However, the modern environmentalist movement continuously tells us that humanity is the problem and the only hope for the planet is for all of us to hurry up and die already. 

 Evil ideas destroy human life and rob people of their dignity-

Satan hates humans and his first ambition is to end human life if at all possible. Legal abortion is an example of one of his most successful schemes. At least fifty million fewer humans exist today thanks to that idea.  If he cannot influence people to take a life he does the next best thing. He influences them to surrender their God-given dignity by getting them addicted to drugs, alcohol or some weird form of sexual bondage. 

Evil ideas lead to hate, division and death- 

Satanic schemes lead to death, division and conflict. They never bring harmony, prosperity or respect for both sides of an issue.  Therefore, we should always look at the fruit of political movements. For example, communism sounds fantastic, even kind of Christian, at least on its surface. In the communist ideal everyone contributes what they can and everyone has what they need to survive and thrive. Sadly, no communist regime has ever delivered on these promises. Rather, socialism/communism has killed at least a hundred-million people over the course of the last century, sown hate and divided millions. Socialism will never succeed anywhere because it is built on a foundation of envy and envy always leads to hate and division. 

The times we live in are getting stranger and scarier (2nd Timothy 3:1-3, 2nd Peter 3:3). It is imperative Christians be discerning about the political and social movements that are being presented to society as “good” and helpful”. Most are just old schemes wrapped in new packaging for a less astute generation. 

How to Forgive People-Even People Who Don’t Deserve It

If you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses- Matthew 6:14-15 NKJV

Let’s be real. 

Hard things are hard and Christianity demands a LOT of hard things of Christians. Christians are called to love the most unlovable of people (Luke 6:27), and exercise self-control in the most unjust of circumstances (Romans 12:17-19, 1st Peter 3:17). Christians are even expected to do good things to and for people who mistreat them (Matthew 5:44). 

Perhaps the hardest of all the hard things Christians are called to do is to forgive those who sin against us. 

The New Testament passages that mandate total forgiveness are insanely comprehensive and leave no legitimate wiggle-room for compromise (Matthew 18:21-35, Mark 11:25, Colossians 3:13, 1st Peter 2:18-21). These requirements go so far as to teach that our being forgiven by God hinges on our willingness to forgive others.  Furthermore, Hebrews 12:15 tells us that if unforgiveness is allowed to harden into bitterness that bitterness will not just defile (taint, corrupt, ruin) the bitter person but the people they love as well. 

Sigh. 

Over the course of the last fifteen years or so I have had several “opportunities” to forgive people who really did not deserve to be forgiven, mostly because few of them were actually sorry. These were not small slights like having my feelings hurt, being overlooked in a social situation or being ignored by someone I felt should care about me. Each experience was extremely personal and painful.  I am not going to share the details of any of them. All you really need to know is that all the situations demanded more of me than I honestly thought I was capable of giving at the time. 

Through that I learned that there are steps that must be followed for the process of forgiveness to work itself out. If any aspects of the process are skipped or glossed over the forgiveness will be incomplete and our feelings towards the person who hurt us will harden into bitterness. 

Following are some steps to forgiving others. They don’t have to be done in a particular order but they all have to be done. It all starts with: 

Recognizing that forgiveness is a process not an event- 

Forgiving really big offenses is rarely, if ever, a one and done. Forgiveness begins with the choice to forgive. However, that choice must be followed by a commitment to do the work necessary to truly move on from the hurt. The length of time it takes to work through the process depends on many things including the level of hurt involved and the maturity of the person who was hurt. 

Ask God to help you-

Any reasonably mature adult can forgive a social slight or a minor offense easily.  However, there are some hurts and offenses so grievous that even the most spiritually mature people cannot forgive them without God’s help.  

Allow yourself to feel the impact of the hurt-

Anytime I hear someone who has just experienced a great-big-horrible-tragedy at the hands of an evil person say “I forgive them”, my heart breaks for them because I know that they aren’t Jesus and Jesus is the only person who ever lived who is truly capable of forgiving an act of evil without first sorting through their feelings about the situation (Luke 23:34). Forgiveness is hard because it is the act of surrendering the right we all feel we have to hold people accountable for sinning against us. Because feeling the impact of hurt is painful it is tempting to simply utter the words “I forgive” without counting the cost and really working through how we feel about the person who hurt us. But if we don’t we will likely find that the feelings of forgiveness do not last long.    All that being said, it is critical that we don’t get stuck in this step because if we do bitterness is inevitable. 

Find a person to help you process- 

God designed the human race in such a way that people need people (Genesis 2:18). Christians are commanded to comfort those in pain and to mourn with those who mourn (2nd Corinthians 1:3-5, 1stThessalonians 2:11-12, Romans 12:15). No one needs comfort more or is mourning harder than someone who is processing a big hurt. If you are hurting find a Christian counselor, Pastor or mature Christian friend who can walk you through the process. If you happen to be in a good place right now choose to be the person who helps someone when they need comfort. 

Pray daily for the person who hurt you- 

Pray that God will bless the person who hurt you. Ask God to make them more self-aware so they will know how their actions are affecting others.  Ask God to do whatever needs to be done in their lives for them to grow into the best version of themselves possible (Luke 6:28). Keep praying those prayers until you feel freed from any bitterness you feel towards the person who hurt you. 

Forgiveness is not easy but it is worth the trouble because unforgiveness makes it impossible for us to grow and change.  Authentic forgiveness frees us from the mental bondage of thinking about the person who hurt us all the time. This frees us up to focus on the things that will empower us to become the people God wants us to be.      

How “Nice” Has Become an Idol We Worship We with Wild Abandon

Dear children, keep yourselves from idols~ 1stJohn 5:21 NIV

“Being nice” is an idol we worship with abandon in Western culture. 

Before you tag-out to write me a long rambling comment listing in horrific detail the countless ways people have become rude, vulgar and belligerent, please hear me out. 

I’m not crazy.  

It is true that there are many people in our culture who become aggressively rude, foulmouthed and abusive at what looks like the tiniest provocation. However, if you look at the context of their aggression; their hostility is nearly always directed at people the aggressors categorize as hateful, rude or disrespectful in some way. 

It is never acceptable to be “not nice” anymore unless, of course someone else is determined to be “not nice”. That said, once the judgment of “not nice” has been established, literally anything goes. It is then acceptable to unleash untold hell on those judged to be “not nice”.  

Sadly, this phenomenon has turned many Christians into a horde of craven fraidy-cats (more on that later).  

This insight came as I was reading an article. The writer of said article believes evangelical support for the President (rather than the churches lack of holiness or the average Christian’s reluctance to share the not-nice parts of the gospel) is hurting our Christian witness in America. He believes that it would be best for Christian voters to dump the President and take our lumps with whoever gets elected next. Rather than discredit the reputation of Christianity with support for the President. 

The primary grievance the writer seemed to have with the President is not his with policies but rather his lack of politeness and absence of niceness. There are opponents of the President who really do have issues with conservative policies. However, they rarely attack those policies. Instead they focus endlessly on the Presidents lack of decorum, dignity and niceness.  

Sigh. 

Our collective obsession with niceness transcends the realm of politics.  Despite laws safeguarding free speech there is an influential movement afoot to shut down any and all speech thought to be “not nice”.  Racist, sexist and homophobic speech has been deemed the least “nice” speech and for good reason. Clever individuals have recognized that the most efficient way to silence someone else’s speech (and to be given the go ahead to be “not nice” to that person) is to twist that person’s speech into something racist, sexist and/or homophobic. Universities have made a practice of suppressing the speech of students who hold views that are thought to be “not nice”. Schools routinely disinvite speakers deemed problematic due to their lack of niceness. Professors have actually been fired from jobs for openly sharing views decreed “not nice”.

There’s more:

The Berkley city council has prohibited the use of gender specific pronouns in their city code because it is “not nice” to call someone a pronoun they don’t identify with. Berkley has determined that it is categorially “not nice” to offend a gender confused person or a woman or anyone so now a manhole cover will be called a “maintenance hole” and manpower will be termed “human effort” and brothers and sisters will now be called “siblings”. 

Welcome to 1984 folks. 

The entire west coast is being taken over by homeless people. Sections of entire cities are no longer fit to do business in. Nothing is being done to correct this problem (or help the homeless) because it has been determined by leadership in those cities that it is “not nice” to make judgments about the lifestyle choices of others. Medical professionals will admit in their more vulnerable moments they are reluctant to tell patients they are overweight or that their lifestyle choices are going to kill them because they do not want to be perceived as “not nice” or “judgmental”. 

The idol of nice has slipped into the church and it IS hurting our witness.  For years now, churches (even evangelical churches) have systematically softened language concerning sin. In some situations, churches have stopped discussing topics—no matter how biblical those topics might be— because someone— somewhere might possibly feel those topics are “not nice”. The teachings of Calvinism have made serious inroads in recent years, even in denominations that are not traditionally Calvinistic. I suspect one of the reasons Calvinism has become trendy is because Calvinism teaches that Christians never have to tell unbelievers they are going to hell or even evangelize them (decidedly “not nice” things). Calvinists believe it is the sole responsibility of the Holy Spirit to reach unbelievers and He does not want or need our help. If these strategies were effective I would support them, but they are not. Church attendance has plummeted as have authentic conversions to Christianity. The vast majority of church growth in recent decades has been what experts call “transfer growth” or Christians simply transferring from one church or denomination to another church or denomination.   

Idols must be dealt with decisively.  That does not mean it is okay to be rude, abusive or foulmouthed. Christians should strive to treat ALL people with the respect, dignity and the consideration that is due any being made in the image of a holy God. It does mean that we stop letting our fear of man outweigh our fear of God. 

It is critical Christians learn to balance “niceness” with truthfulness in a culture that is literally dying right before our very eyes (Ephesians 4:15, Ephesians 4:25). It is the ultimate in fiddling while Rome burns to worry more about being labeled “not nice” than to worry about the souls of people or the future of our civilization.